It's still Christmas here on Shelf Life! We're only 5 days late! This time we're talking all about a little Christmas toy movie called LIFE-SIZE 2 which may or may not have the subtitle "A Christmas Eve." This movie poses the question, What if a Mattel-type company decided to cancel a Barbie-type doll in favor of something called "video game apps," causing the doll turn human in an attempt to save her own wretched life? Also, a spoiled millenial learns a valuable life lesson or something, and baby boomer writers teach us what they think it means to be woke.

Then, we exchange toys in possibly the saddest gift exchange ever captured on microphone.

~Music credits~

-Shelf Life holiday theme song - More of That (moreofthat.bandcamp.com)

-Decorated (Yeah It's Christmas Time) - Redwood

-Be A Star 2 - Tyra Banks feat. New Fear's Eve

IT'S THE HOLIDAYS! (Part 1 of 2) We discuss 2018's Worst Holiday Toy list -- it's mostly about eyeball injury. But not before we talk and joke about: NECA horror, Freddy, Jason, Alien/Aliens, Walgreens Marvel Legends Magik, DC Multiverse Harley Quinn and Spoiler, Mythic Legions, Batmobile lost its wheel, Brightburn, FUNKO, Dangerous Toys the metal band (Sport'n A Woody), and THE CHRISTMAS CAST.

Christmas theme music by Josh Head and More Of That (moreofthat.bandcamp.com)

We made it to another Halloween, folks. And this time it's even SPOOKIER. Mostly because we tried out a new podcast format: Bad movie watching. We watched Demonic Toys (1992) so you don't have to! It's bad, folks. Rough stuff. But it's got toys. Oh does it ever.

Also: Mego at Target tangent. Adam and Josh sing Newsies. Mormonism. Which toy would you be? Secret Santa!(?) and DOIN' THE NASTY.

SPECIAL GUESTS: Jessica and Josh (fan favorites)

Music: moreofthat.bandcamp.com

Spooky audio manipulations: Blake

SPECIAL GUESTS: Josh Roberts (The Comic Cave, Cavecon), Ming Chen (Comic Book Men, I Sell Comics)

Here's the REST of our live podcast from CaveCon 2018. This one is shorter and is mostly about two great interviews. One of our guests is from TV. Which one? Who's to say?

Also...we recorded this on International Podcast Day! So that's pretty cool!

Josh Roberts talks logistics of running a convention! Ming Chen talks sleazy Springfield, MO strip bars! He also shares his beautiful vision of the future of podcasts. Also I think there's something about cosplay turf wars in there.

Music by moreofthat.bandcamp.com

Special guests: comic artist/writer Matt Decker, Kramer the 15-year-old, Kayden the kid.

Our very first live episode! Our baby podcast is growing up. We spent a weekend at CAVECON and this is a collection of our recordings from day 1. It skips around a lot. This will be a 2-parter. We talk and joke about the comic culture, cosplay, and of course TOYS we come across at the Con. We speak to randos who walk by. It's pretty wild stuff. It's longer than usual but that's because this is ALL PRIMO CONTENT BABYYYY.

Theme music: moreofthat.bandcamp.com

In this one the boys decide to get back to basics and REALLY DIVE INTO SOME TOYS. This episode is for the toi boiz and grrrlz. We're talking articulation. We're talking headswaps. We're talking TOY ASMR. You WILL believe a grown man can open a blister card noisely.

WARNINGS: Batwoman controversy. WE GETTIN' POLITICAL UP IN HERE. Hasbro is COMING for our GUNS!!!

Music provided by moreofthat.bandcamp.com

We're talkin' mother Funko toys! We can't seem to stop blathering about the toy line we supposedly hate so this week we're getting it all out of our systems. We watched MAKING FUN: THE STORY OF FUNKO on Netflix, and then we talked about it. Don't know the difference between a Pop! and a Dorbz? The answer is hidden within this episode!

Special Guest: Jessica (AKA ToyWife)

Host: Blake Walker (AKA Husbandosaurus)

Other host: Adam Thimesch (AKA The Vinyl King)

Alternate title: Wes Anderson Cinematic Universe.

THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR "IT (1990)"!

What is a Transformer? These three turd boys sure as hell don't know. This TWENTIETH EPISODE also serves as our one-year anniversary AND the conclusion of our Toys That Made Us coverage (until they make new ones). Our hosts were too dumb to figure out Transformers in their youth so they were stuck with working class figs like GI Joes. At some point we go waaaay deep into childhood and ex-wife trauma as we soul search for the real reason behind our toy-buying addictions. This episode...SHELF LIFE. GETS. REAL. 2/3 of us are in therapy. Also, why do some children (and adults) lie pathologically, especially about toys?

More topics: Turmoil In The Toybox returns. Was Optimus Prime saved? Ass Ventura: Crack Detective. Action Figures in the Attic. The Ballad of Lars Framness. The risk of getting Mutt. Eeyore and Peter Cullen. Michael Bay garbage movies. California Raisins. The armor of God. Tongue in Chic/Sheikh. High Beams & Cockpits.

Game: Backcard Bios!

**SPOILERS for Transformers: The Movie (1986)

Our podcast now has a catchphrase: ONE. MORE. PUNCH.

Special guest: Josh Arnett

We're talkin' mother fuckin' LEGO(S)! Join us this week as we recap Netflix's Toys That Made Us episode on those wonderful bricks, and regale you with our childhood brick histories (Brickstories?) Watch out for knockoffs like K'Nex, the toys for children whose parents hate them. Get acquainted with timeless, unforgettable heroes like Jack Stone and Nick Bluetooth. Wince as Adam serenades the audience YET AGAIN with his sweet siren's song. Boy you know we're gonna touch on Lego Batman, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Star Wars, and Simpsons. Plus--a gripping DAD STORY involving Disney's LONE RANGER (yes, they made Lego sets for that). Blake is too stupid to know what Bill & Ted is.

Other bullet points: Clayface the big brown noisey boy. JurASSic World: Swollen Dingdong. Horror figs & NECA. Ducktales by Phatmojo. Minifigures galore. Bionicle. The Foam Tony Conundrum.

Game: BACKCARD BIOS!

And: Adam surprises Blake with gifts!!!!!!

!WOOP! !WOOP! Trekkers only on this episode! Trekkies get lost! And Star Warsies can straight up fuhgeddaboutit (Gotti). This time we dissect an episode of Netflix's THE TOYS THAT MADE US that constantly reminds us it's not Star Wars. We're joined by resident Trek Expert (Trexpert) MATT TAYLOR who is also in Blake's band! Matt's not as much of a pathetic toi boi as we are so we gotta toysplain a lotta shit. Luckily he had plenty of childhood experience making grocery bag parachutes for GI Joes, which Blake didn't know was a thing. We talk about the episode and our experience with Star Trek--toys, shows, and movies--and do a bunch of goofs and horseshit too.

Also:

Label-slapping. verb. A phrase we repeat way too often.

Arkham Asylum, Toy Manufacturer.

The thrill of the flea market hunt.

Playmates, Diamond Select, Art Asylum, McFarlane Toys, Lego, Kre-o, Mega Construx.

I'M A TOY VANDAL BABY, I FUX WITH TOYS!

Adam sings again (Reading Rainbow) #BYDHTTMWFI

Alternate episode titles:

"Matt: A Star Trek Story"

"Worf (Puffy Shirt)"

"MARTY ABRAMS: TOY MAN"