What happens when you realize your anger is hurting the people you love most?

In this honest and emotional episode, Davina Hehn shares the night she yelled at her kids, walked away feeling justified, then broke down in shame when she saw the truth. She opens up about living with PMDD, almost losing her marriage, and how years of stress and silence built up until everything felt too heavy to carry. But this isn’t a story about giving up. It’s about learning to see anger as a signal, not a failure. Davina walks us through the three lessons that helped her rebuild trust, repair relationships, and take full responsibility for her emotions. This one is real, raw, and full of heart.

🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:00 Nearly losing her marriage and kids’ trust

01:31 Rewriting her marriage after crisis

02:10 Life with PMDD and increased conflict

03:31 When parenting feels impossible

06:12 The calm after the storm and deep regret

10:22 Lesson 1: Don’t wait until everything breaks

12:27 Lesson 2: Unrealistic expectations

16:15 Lesson 3: Radical self-responsibility

20:43 More trust, more connection, more play

22:33 Free resources: Quiz + weekly support group

🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me?

🔥 Join SHIFT Live https://yoursteadyspace.myflodesk.com/shiftlive

📞 Book a Clarity Call https://www.yoursteadyspace.com/bookwithme

Some secrets protect us. Others keep us from healing.

In this profoundly honest episode, I sit down with author, mental health advocate, and suicide loss survivor Lisa Sugarman. Lisa shares how she discovered (35 years later) that her father’s sudden death was actually suicide, a truth her mother kept hidden to protect her 10-year-old heart.

We talk about grief, parenting, secrecy, and how Lisa transformed her personal pain into The Help Hub, a free mental health resource center. We also talk about how sharing our stories, even the hardest ones, can literally save lives.

This episode is open, emotional, and deeply human. It’s about connection, empathy, and why telling the truth, in the right time and way, can be the beginning of real healing.

🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:00 – Lisa’s mission: “What’s more powerful than knowing you kept someone here?”

01:27 – Her background in writing, parenting content, and mental health advocacy

02:52 – Losing her father suddenly at 10… and learning the truth decades later

06:06 – Why her mother kept the suicide a secret, and how she found out

10:17 – Rebuilding trust and deepening their mother-daughter relationship

14:48 – Featuring her 86-year-old mom in her next book

16:57 – Advice for anyone feeling betrayed by a family secret

18:23 – Davina shares her own story: her husband's suicide plan and sobriety journey

21:21 – What makes a suicide attempt not about wanting to leave loved ones

25:49 – Challenging shame and silence around suicide and mental illness

30:44 – The dangerous myth that suicide is a “selfish” act

33:48 – Launching The Survivors podcast with an attempt survivor co-host

43:30 – Building The Help Hub as a free, searchable mental health resource

55:25 – How Lisa manages the emotional weight of helping others

1:24:16 – The moment Lisa realized she had truly saved a life

1:28:03 – Her upcoming book on surviving her father’s death… twice

👋 Connect with Lisa Sugarman:

🌐 Website + Help Hub: https://www.thehelphub.co/

🎧 Podcast: The Survivors

🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me?

✨ Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call

What if the path to becoming your best self feels worse before it feels better?

Kevin Palmieri opens up about how his life looked perfect on the outside, money, fitness, and success, but inside, he was falling apart. He shares what it was like to hit emotional rock bottom, the moment he considered ending it all, and how reaching out to a friend changed everything. Kevin and Davina talk honestly about the loneliness men face, the pressure to provide, and how scary (but necessary) it is to choose vulnerability. This is a real conversation about healing, setting boundaries, and finding purpose, even when it hurts.

🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

(1:36) Growing up without a father and chasing significance

(4:42) “Success” on paper, depression underneath

(8:11) Suicidal thoughts and reaching out for help

(9:33) Reconnecting with Alan and starting the podcast

(11:01) Safe male friendships and emotional safety

(16:02) The courage to go first in healing

(23:01) Meeting his father and finding empathy

(27:55) Saying no without guilt

(35:27) How to start doing the inner work with SHIFT

(53:00) Turning growth into daily habits and lasting change

👋 Connect with Kevin:

Instagram: @neverquitkid

Podcast: Next Level University

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/

🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me?

🔥 Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call

Most parenting books tell you what to fix. This one tells you why it’s broken.

In this deeply grounded episode, I sit down with Richard O’Keefe: father of six, grandfather of 23 (!), great-grandfather of four (!!), and author of 9-1-1: What Is Your Parenting Emergency?. Richard teaches parenting skills to incarcerated fathers through Utah State University and has created a simple, powerful framework based on four core emotional needs every child has.

We talk about how unmet emotional needs in childhood often lead to incarceration, addiction, and relational breakdowns in adulthood and what every parent can do now to stop that cycle.

This episode is calm, clear, and rich with lived experience. It’s not about shaming or strategy overload, it’s about understanding what makes a child feel whole, and what happens when they don’t.

🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:00 – The four core emotional needs all children share

03:10 – 15 parenting skills that meet those emotional needs

05:50 – Richard’s breaking point (and the mashed potatoes incident)

08:20 – Why most parenting books overwhelm and overcomplicate

10:40 – Teaching incarcerated fathers how to reconnect with their kids

13:35 – Why most people in prison didn’t have their emotional needs met

16:15 – The power of teaching values (and how it starts at dinner)

20:42 – How traditional masculinity shuts down emotional connection

23:00 – The "fixer" instinct vs. emotional attunement in relationships

27:15 – Parenting as a team (even when co-parenting is complicated)

31:20 – Why his students should be motivational speakers

33:05 – What led Richard to write 9-1-1: What Is Your Parenting Emergency?

35:20 – The iceberg metaphor of behavior and emotional needs

38:00 – What it means to make “positive deposits” with your kids

42:20 – Raising boys into men as a single mother

45:00 – The values his students wish they’d been taught

47:00 – Anger management and the “upstairs/downstairs brain”

50:00 – How Davina’s own parenting moments led to repair and growth

54:00 – Helping dads raise children from behind bars

57:10 – What to do when only one partner wants to do the work

59:30 – Why we weaponize emotional growth in relationships and how to stop

01:02:00 – Unconditional love, earned trust, and realistic expectations

👋 Connect with Richard O’Keefe:

📘 Book: 9-1-1: What Is Your Parenting Emergency? (Available on Amazon)

🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me?

✨ Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call

You’re not selfish. You’re not broken. And you’re damn sure not failing. You’re just a single mom living in a world that applauds your exhaustion and punishes your boundaries.

In this powerful and validating episode, I’m joined by licensed therapist and Solo Shift podcast host Wedeh Guar, a woman who's not only raising kids solo but raising the standard for what thriving can look like after heartbreak, depletion, and identity loss.

We talk about co-parenting with inconsistent partners, letting go of who people want you to be, and how to rebuild your sense of self when you're done performing but still showing up for your kids. Wedeh brings the grounded truth, gentle humor, and the kind of "seen and soothed" energy every overwhelmed mom deserves.

🧨 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:00 – Parenting through emotional fatigue

04:23 – Redefining what “good mom” even means

08:15 – Letting go of external validation + role performance

12:40 – What happens when the co-parent is inconsistent, absent, or unavailable

19:01 – The grief and guilt of needing space from your child

22:18 – Co-parenting with a ghost (or a situationship)

26:07 – How healing often triggers the people who benefit from your burnout

31:55 – “You get to be petty and peaceful.”

36:14 – How delulu phases sometimes save single moms

40:29 – Owning your parenting wins without needing applause

45:02 – Parenting through loneliness and longing

49:35 – What to do when your kids reflect the pain you’re still holding

54:50 – Reclaiming identity beyond “Mom”

58:10 – Wedeh’s message for moms who feel like they’re drowning

👋 Connect with Wedeh:

• Instagram: @thesoloshiftpodcast
• Podcast: The Solo Shift Podcast
• Email: [email protected]

🔗 Ready to SHIFT with Me?

🔥 Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call

He thought money would fix it. It didn’t.

In this open-hearted and deeply honest episode, I sit down with Kevin Palmieri, co-founder and CFO of Next Level University, to unpack the silent suffering so many men carry, and the identity death it takes to finally come alive.

They talk about everything men are rarely allowed to say out loud:

• Rock bottom moments and intrusive thoughts
• Rage masked as self-reliance
• Identity wrapped up in performance
• The loneliness of male friendship, Rebuilding after feeling worthless

…plus Kevin walks through the SHIFT Framework™, sharing how men can rebuild their sense of self, heal without shame, and start showing up with integrity AND without losing their edge.

This one’s for every man who wants more, and everyone who loves one.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:00 – Meet Kevin

02:15 – Why success didn’t feel like success

04:30 – The cost of achievement without alignment

06:40 – The podcast that saved his life: Hyperconscious to NLU

08:20 – What led him to the edge—and the moment he called for help

10:15 – Meeting Alan, building trust, and why men need safe male friends

13:00 – Loneliness in male friend groups, locker room talk, and internal conflict

15:30 – How father wounds shape emotional safety

18:10 – Why men don’t go first and why they need to

20:00 – Discomfort with being different (and learning to own it)

22:40 – The danger of over-identifying with pain as power

25:10 – Meeting his father at 27—and releasing the villain story

28:00 – Why savior energy is unsustainable (and how to tell it’s showing up)

30:40 – Letting people down without betraying yourself

33:10 – Why “being your own boss” doesn’t always mean flexibility

35:20 – The SHIFT Framework: Kevin breaks it down for men   

45:00 – Why emotional growth isn’t sexy but it’s essential

47:10 – How Kevin and Alan coach men through meaning, purpose & identity

49:00 – Final message: nobody else will believe in you until you do

🧠 Connect with Kevin Palmieri + Next Level University

🎙 Next Level University Podcast – new episodes daily

🌍 Website – Coaching, free courses, book club, & community

📱 Instagram – @neverquitkid

👥 Free Facebook group: Next Level Nation

📖 Free monthly virtual events + book club

💥 Ready to Build a Life That Doesn’t Break You?

Explore the SHIFT Framework™ with me and reclaim your self, your relationships, and your sense of steady.

🔥 Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call

You don’t just wake up one day in menopause. You’ve been in the transition for years and no one warned you.

In this eye-opening, stigma-breaking episode, I'm joined by Amita Sharma, founder of NourishDoc and creator of an affordable, expert-led perimenopause self-care app. Together, we tackle the silence and shame around women’s hormonal health, intimacy, and identity through the wild ride of perimenopause, libido shifts, and the evolving landscape of relationships.

If you’ve been feeling “off,” disconnected from your body or partner, or simply unsure what the hell is happening to your hormones, this conversation is a goldmine.

🧠 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:00 – Amita’s mission to support women from 35–65 holistically

01:40 – Why perimenopause is still so stigmatized (and misunderstood)

03:10 – Early signs to watch for in your cycle before menopause hits

05:45 – How perimenopause affects sleep, memory, libido & mood

07:30 – Davina’s story: PMDD, tracking, and when things got scary

10:15 – Dutch tests, deficiencies & the power of functional medicine

12:50 – Hormonal shifts and the impact on sexual desire & pain

14:20 – When your partner thinks you “just need lube”—and why that misses the mark

16:30 – What men don’t understand about intimacy, and how to change that

18:40 – The orgasm gap, female pleasure, and cultural double standards

21:00 – Sex after kids: why women often shut down—and how to talk about it

23:10 – The rising rate of “gray divorce” and what’s behind it

25:15 – Why sex becomes the scapegoat for everything else in marriage

28:00 – Women’s emotional needs vs men’s physical cues

30:00 – What real partnership looks like: safety, care, and emotional attunement

32:40 – Male depression, emotional suppression, and performative intimacy

34:15 – How men should not bring up hormones with their partners

36:30 – Better scripts for initiating conversations about sex and health

38:00 – Should you supplement hormones? What to know before choosing HRT

40:45 – The economic barrier: BHRT, insurance, and long-term costs

42:30 – NourishDoc app: expert-backed, $5/month menopause education & care

44:00 – Amita’s final message: take charge of your health, before it takes charge of you

💡 Connect with Amita Sharma + NourishDoc

🌐 Website – nourishdoc.com

✨ Want to Talk About It (Finally)?

Join the SHIFT™ community of emotionally intelligent adults who are done suffering in silence.

🔥 Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call

Being single isn’t a waiting room. It’s the classroom. The mirror. The runway. The f*cking launchpad.

In this richly layered episode, I'm joined by Fanny Tristan, trauma-informed LCSW turned coach and founder of Her Soul Supply, to unpack the emotional gymnastics so many women perform in the pursuit of being chosen by a partner, by their family, by society.

We talk love, loneliness, lifestyle design, and what happens when women stop outsourcing worth and start reclaiming their voice. From navigating breakups and identity shifts to dismantling systems that tell women they’re “too much” or “too late,” this conversation is a full-body permission slip to rewrite your story on your terms.

If you’ve ever felt behind, unworthy, or like you needed to shrink to fit the timeline... this episode is for you.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:01 – Meet Fanny

04:10 – The loneliness epidemic post-2020 + rebuilding real community

07:50 – Brunch, boundaries, and the awkwardness of adult friendships

10:35 – The myth of “having it all” by 30 and how timelines betray us

13:00 – How systemic oppression shapes self-worth for women of color

15:45 – Building identity outside of partnership and parenthood

21:00 – Singlehood as a goldmine for growth, not a failure to fix

27:15 – Parts work, projection, and how we misread each other

30:00 – The mom-friend vs single-friend divide: how we lose each other

33:00 – Letting people love all your identities—and asking for what you need

36:15 – The rebellion vs self-preservation dilemma (hello, plastic surgery guilt)

39:40 – Pleasure, sex, and the myth that motherhood = martyrdom

42:10 – Why we pedestal romantic love—and what that costs us

46:00 – Self-abandonment, chosen-ness, and not lowering your damn standards

50:20 – The SHIFT framework in action for single women feeling “behind”

58:15 – Walking the walk vs memorizing the infographics

60:30 – Transformation doesn’t have to be a whole damn identity shift

63:00 – Therapy vs Coaching: where they overlap and where they divide

67:00 – Fanny’s final message: freedom is a value, not a milestone

🧠 Connect with Fanny Tristan + Her Soul Supply

🌐 Her Soul Supply Website

📲 Instagram — @fanny.tristan

💥 Want to Build a Life That’s Not Waiting on Anyone?

Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, SHIFT is here to help you stop performing and start aligning.

🔥 Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call

Grades aren't the problem. Emotional illiteracy is.

In this bold and expansive episode, Davina sits down with Leroy Slanzi, Canadian principal and founder of Emotional Schools, to unpack what’s really going on in classrooms (and homes) today. From emotional regulation in 5-year-olds to burnout in school leaders, this episode is a masterclass in behavior, boundaries, and the education revolution nobody's talking about loud enough.

Leroy brings 25 years of experience and no-bullshit clarity to this conversation about emotional intelligence, cultural pushback, and practical solutions for parents and educators. If you’ve ever wondered why your kid melts down over math or why your school's still obsessed with standardized tests, this one’s for you.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:01 – Introducing Leroy + the mission behind Emotional Schools

02:20 – Why school leaders resist emotional intelligence integration

04:10 – Helicopter parenting, fear-driven admin, and cultural barriers

11:00 – Teaching 5-year-olds about polyvagal theory (!?)

14:05 – The calming space model: not your typical principal’s office

16:30 – Indigenous education, land-based learning, and the medicine wheel

21:20 – Boredom, play, and the emotional consequences of disconnection

23:30 – What happens when emotionally intelligent kids go home to emotionally unavailable adults

27:00 – The collapse of speech development + rise in reactivity

30:40 – The myth that emotions have no place in academic rigor

37:15 – Why superintendents resist culture change

39:45 – How to spark intrinsic motivation in your child

42:00 – Raising emotionally intelligent kids without the tech trap

51:15 – How to support kids with low frustration tolerance

53:00 – Why mistakes are the best teachers

56:00 – Davina & Leroy reflect on parenting regret and repair

60:00 – Davina’s theory on being wired as a parent vs partner

63:00 – A reality check on what teachers really go through

65:00 – How to bring emotional intelligence to your school, district, or home

66:00 – Where to find Leroy and Emotional Schools

🧠 Connect with Leroy

🌐 Website – Programs, consulting, and free resources

📲 LinkedIn – Follow Leroy’s work

📧 Email: [email protected]

💥 Want Your Kids to Be Emotionally Intelligent?

Start with you. A Steady Space exists to equip parents not to parent “perfectly,” but to parent from a place of regulation, resilience, and repair.

🚀 Ready to SHIFT?

• Join SHIFT Live
• Book a Clarity Call
• Follow along on IG/TikTok → @asteadyspace

Ever feel like you’re speaking English, but your partner hears Martian? You’re not alone. This week on SHIFT Talking, I sat down with Lynn Quinn, author, cognitive architect, and creator of the Four Zones of Communication framework.

We dug into why most of us live on autopilot, how our words betray our real meaning, and the simple shift that can move you out of miscommunication loops and into authentic connection.

Lynn’s work is blunt, practical, and surprisingly soulful. From conflict at home to chaos in crowded households (👋 nine humans under one roof over here), this episode gives you a map for knowing which “zone” you’re in and how to get yourself back into grounded communication before things explode.

⏱️ In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

• 02:00 – The 4 Zones of Communication: Pink, Yellow, Higher, Halt
• 07:20 – How “yellow zone” people-pleasing leads to resentment
• 09:45 – The Halt Zone: anger, walls punched, and primal explosions
• 14:30 – Signs you’re slipping into autopilot vs. staying grounded
• 19:00 – Reflection writing and the magic of daily introspection
• 26:00 – Apple, orange, banana: why your words don’t land how you think
• 33:30 – The power of pausing for clarity in conversations
• 38:00 – Boundaries, family dynamics, and expectation management
• 45:05 – Objections: “Isn’t this too woo woo?” → reframing as consciousness
• 56:30 – Why speaking from “I” isn’t arrogant—it’s the most humble stance
• 1:03:00 – Giving yourself grace when introspection feels icky
• 1:12:30 – Consciousness, intuition, and moving beyond autopilot
• 1:26:00 – Parenting, creativity, and breaking blocks that keep us shackled
• 1:37:30 – Owning mistakes publicly as the ultimate act of loyalty to yourself

📲 Connect with Lynn Quinn

• Book: Home with Humans: Adventures in Reflection Writing
• Website: zoalq.com (Zones of Atlas)
• Substack: Zones of Atlas by Lynn Quinn
• Newsletter: occasional deep dives + reflection prompts

🚀 Ready to SHIFT?

• Join The Parental SHIFT → Learn More
• Book a Clarity Call → Work with Me
• Follow along on IG/TikTok → @asteadyspace
• Don’t miss the next episode of SHIFT Talking 🎙️