SHIFT Talking™

What happens when you build a life that looks “successful”—but feels like hell?

In this raw, real, and soul-punching conversation, Davina sits down with business coach and podcaster Alan Lazaros to talk SHIFT about masculinity, emotional honesty, and what it takes to actually grow without selling your soul. From childhood trauma and identity loss to marriage, sobriety, and the silent suffering men face, this episode is a masterclass in owning your truth—even when the world isn’t ready for it.

No predatory sales pitches. No performance bullshit. Just two humans telling the truth.

⏱️ In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

03:00 – Why parenting wrecks identity and how that affects men differently

10:00 – Alan’s story: childhood loss, trauma, and the pursuit of external validation

14:00 – The car crash that rewired his entire life

24:00 – Why most people fail at growth—and how ethical coaches can change that

35:00 – Davina’s origin story: debt, manipulation, and rebuilding with integrity

45:00 – Masculinity, therapy, and why men fear softness

58:00 – Parenting boys without raising future fuckboys

1:04:00 – Dick-measuring culture and what real masculinity looks like

1:17:00 – School talks, self-worth, and what ego really protects

1:24:00 – What it means to grow together—or be left behind

🎙️ About Alan Lazaros

Alan Lazaros is the co-founder and host of Next Level University, a global podcast and coaching company dedicated to holistic personal development. With over 7,000 hours of 1:1 coaching and a no-BS, metrics-driven approach, Alan helps people grow in health, wealth, love, and life. He’s also a recovered workaholic, sober fitness model, and emotional regulation advocate who isn’t afraid to admit: he used to be a fuckboy too.

👉 Connect with Alan:

• nextleveluniverse.com
• Podcast: Next Level University
• IG: @alazaros88

💥 Ready for Your Own SHIFT?

• 🧠 Join the Parental SHIFT Program → asteadyspace.com/parentalshift
• 📞 Book a Clarity Call → asteadyspace.com/contact
• 🎧 Binge more episodes or get resources → asteadyspace.com/podcast
• 📱 Let’s be friends on socials → TikTok + IG + YT: @yoursteadyspace

You’re doing the work. You’re growing. You’re unlearning. And it’s lonely as fuck.

In this week’s SHIFT Rx, Davina gets all the way real about what no one tells you: personal development costs connection—and you have to do it anyway. From losing friendships to questioning your identity, the truth is that becoming who you’re meant to be is a death and a rebirth. And yes, grief is part of the process.

This one’s for the people mid-shift: misunderstood, second-guessing, and wondering if it’s worth it. It is. This is your reminder to choose you—especially when no one else does.

00:29 – Loneliness is the cost of entry into real growth

01:05 – Why personal development often feels like abandonment

02:39 – You’ll lose people—but you’ll finally find you

03:48 – People will judge. Your job is to do it anyway

05:08 – Parenting from your actual self (not your wounded one)

07:20 – You don’t need their certainty to validate your shift

08:52 – It’s okay to doubt. Just don’t let that stop you

09:45 – If you’re not proud of you yet, I am

11:39 – Being home in yourself is the cure for the loneliness

💊 This is your SHIFT Rx. Take it with solitude, self-trust, and the reminder that loneliness isn’t proof you’re wrong—it’s proof you’re different now.

⚡ Ready to shift? Join the Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need.

Take Action:

• Join The Parental SHIFT
• Book a Clarity Call

Get in Touch:

TikTok: @asteadyspace

Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina

YouTube: @asteadyspace Website: www.asteadyspace.com

You’re evolving—and it shows. But instead of applause, you're met with distance, side-eyes, or straight-up silence.

This solo is for the transitional characters. The ones doing the inner work, setting the boundaries, shifting the cycles—and wondering why it feels so damn lonely. Not everyone wants you to stay stuck… but they were comfortable when you did.

In this vulnerable and validating episode, Davina unpacks the painful side of becoming self-aware: the grief of being misunderstood, the frustration of misalignment, and the disorientation that hits when your inner upgrades aren’t mirrored back externally. You’re not too much. You’re just not for everyone anymore—and that’s the cost of choosing change.

You’re not broken. You’re breaking patterns. And that’s holy work.

🧠 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

03:28 – Growth as disruption: why your change threatens their comfort

04:40 – Your self-awareness is a mirror—and not everyone’s ready to look

06:13 – Why they’re not rooting against you (even when it feels like it)

07:41 – Confirmation bias, enmeshment, and the psychology of rejection

10:02 – “You’ve changed”—and why that’s a compliment

12:08 – Social pain, limbic alarm, and why loneliness hits harder now

14:50 – The grief no one talks about when you're the transitional character

17:18 – What to do when you outgrow the group chat

18:29 – SHIFT Framework in action: How to stay steady when the crowd thins

23:05 – Boundaries ≠ barriers: letting people meet you where you are

25:18 – You’re not meant to belong everywhere—you’re meant to be you

🚨 Ready to stop parenting from old code? Join the Parental SHIFT and learn how to stop reacting from your past—and start leading from your actual self.

🛠️ Take Action: → Book a Clarity Call → Join the Parental SHIFT

📲 Stay Connected:

TikTok: @asteadyspace

Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina

YouTube: @asteadyspace Website: www.asteadyspace.com

✨ Join the Community Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

Masculinity is cracking—and that’s a good thing. In this powerful, paradigm-breaking episode, I sit down with Jason Lange, men’s embodiment coach and founder of Evolutionary.Men, to talk about what’s actually holding men back from intimacy, healing, and fully living. Spoiler: it’s not just porn, patriarchy, or pride—it’s disconnection.

This isn’t a “man up” conversation—it’s a real one. About vulnerability, emotional sobriety, parenting, partnership, and why every man deserves a space to be held, witnessed, and deeply seen.

We go deep into men’s groups, shadow work, fatherhood, nervous system healing, sex as regulation, gender roles, and what changes when men stop relying on their partner to meet every emotional need. If you’re a man, love a man, or are raising one—this conversation could change everything.

🧠 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

01:32 – Jason’s story: From awkward adolescence to men’s work

13:04 – Somatic shadow work: The body as the doorway to healing

17:38 – The power of witnessing other men’s vulnerability

21:31 – The regulation power of safe, healthy masculine touch

24:44 – What shadow work really looks like—and why it heals

29:04 – How men’s groups help relationships (and reduce pressure on partners)

32:41 – Emotional safety in men’s groups vs. romantic relationships

37:52 – Praise and presence: What masculine love can sound like

47:11 – Sex as emotional regulation: Why men ‘fuck the pain away’

52:26 – Disembodiment and how boys are taught to override feeling

56:47 – The intimacy-chemistry paradox: Why it’s not clicking

01:03:24 – Losing friendships, gaining freedom: Outgrowing old dynamics

01:10:33 – Fatherhood, testosterone, and the transition men weren’t prepped for

01:14:02 – You want more sex? Do the damn dishes.

01:17:48 – The nervous system split: What she needs vs. what he’s feeling

01:20:37 – Sandpaper and sex: Why your wife isn’t in the mood

🔗 Connect with Jason Lange: Website: evolutionary.men Instagram: @evolutionary.men

⚡ Ready to shift? Join my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need to parent with power, presence, and peace.

🛠️ Take Action: → Join The Parental SHIFT → Book a Clarity Call

📲 Stay Connected: TikTok: @asteadyspace Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace YouTube: @asteadyspace Website: www.asteadyspace.com

You say you want him to talk—but when he stays silent, what’s really going on?

In this episode of SHIFT Rx, Davina unpacks the hidden wiring behind male emotional shutdown. Spoiler: he’s not emotionally unavailable—he’s emotionally unpracticed. And when you learn what’s happening inside his nervous system, you’ll stop blaming and start understanding.

We’re talking conditioning, double standards, emotional safety, and how to stop flinching when softness finally shows up.

If you’re loving a man, raising a boy, or trying to reconnect with a partner who won’t “just say what he feels”—this episode is required listening.

⏱️ Timestamps

00:02 – The truth behind “You want him to talk…”

00:36 – He’s not emotionally unavailable—he’s unpracticed

01:03 – What boys are taught (and what they’re punished for)

01:45 – Suicide stats, friendship gaps, and emotional load on partners

03:05 – Why “they did it to themselves” doesn’t hold up

03:32 – Silence ≠ apathy; it’s nervous system overload

04:04 – Vulnerability isn’t safe in his body, even if you’re safe

05:00 – Why we flinch when softness shows up

05:11 – What actually helps: presence, safety, clarity

06:15 – Don’t probe—pause. And model it.

07:28 – “He didn’t grow up learning to feel. You didn’t grow up knowing how to witness it.”

08:14 – You’ll both mess up. Stay anyway.

08:55 – Emotional expression isn’t feminine. It’s human.

💊 This is your SHIFT Rx. Take it with presence, patience, and the reminder that his silence isn’t rejection—it’s rehearsal. You don't have to fix it; you just have to hold it.

⚡ Ready to shift? Join the Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need.

Take Action:

Join The Parental SHIFT

Book a Clarity Call

Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth:

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

We say we want men to open up… But when they do, why do we flinch?

In today's solo, Davina unpacks the invisible conditioning that makes male vulnerability feel unsafe, unattractive, or overwhelming to the very people asking for it. From personal stories to societal scripts, she names the tension many women hold: the craving for emotional intimacy and the recoil when it finally arrives.

This is for the women raising men, loving men, or grieving the men they've lost—and for the men trying to be something other than stoic and shut down.

This isn’t about coddling. This is about courage.

03:22 – Do we flinch when he shifts? The identity crisis of feminine discomfort

04:55 – Childhood wiring: How we’re conditioned to expect stoicism from men

06:09 – Personal story: Her husband cried—and she didn’t know how to hold it

08:44 – Research: Women say we want emotion, but subconsciously reject it

10:04 – “Now I have to fix you too?” → Why male emotion triggers overwhelm

10:40 – The SHIFT Framework in action: unpacking the reaction

16:07 – Tools: What to say when he’s spiraling (and why he might not know what he needs)

19:10 – When softness shows up—do we welcome it or weaponize it?

21:05 – Soul’s friend: How emotional safety can deepen sexual and spiritual intimacy

22:31 – You want to feel him? Stay—even when it’s messy

24:29 – His tears aren’t collapse. They’re a rebuild.

💭 SHIFT Rx (Tuesday) → Want Him to Talk? Here's Why He's Not

🎙️ Guest Interview (Thursday) → Men's Coach Jason Lange joins us for a powerful conversation about men's mental health, masculinity, conditioning, and how to overcome our limitations.

🚨 Want to stop parenting from old code?

Join the Parental SHIFT and learn how to stop reacting from your past—and start leading from your actual self.

Take Action:

Book a Clarity Call

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

Sleep isn’t just about rest—it’s about regulation. And if your kid’s sleep is all over the place? Chances are, yours is too.

In this wide-ranging, nonjudgmental, and surprisingly hilarious conversation with sleep coach Allison Egidi (yes, I pronounced it wrong last time!), we go deep into what’s really messing with your kid’s (and your) sleep—plus what you can do to fix it without flipping your entire life upside down.

From nap transitions and circadian rhythms to pee cabinets and co-sleeping debates, this one is packed with real talk, compassionate strategy, and zero shame. Allison brings the science, the structure, and the soul to help you finally feel steady at bedtime… even when the whole house is feral.

If you're parenting through exhaustion, guilt, or just trying to figure out if red lights actually help—this one’s for you.

🧠 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

• 01:50 – Why pediatricians aren’t trained in sleep (and what that means for your family)
• 06:33 – The sleep–mental health connection: tantrums, rage, and regulation
• 13:35 – School struggles? It might be sleep—here’s how to know
• 18:23 – Burnt out and overwhelmed? Why structure feels impossible (and what to do instead)
• 23:01 – The 3-day rule that makes bedtime pushback way less brutal
• 27:39 – Co-sleeping vs. independent sleep: the truth without judgment
• 32:18 – The night-me vs. morning-me sabotage spiral—and how to shift it
• 43:59 – Parenting without judgment (yours or theirs)
• 48:41 – Nightmares, sleepwalking, grinding: what’s normal, what’s not
• 55:32 – Why red light wins + what your sound machine might be doing wrong
• 01:04:57 – Morning chaos? Use this tool to stop early wake-ups and sibling sabotage
• 01:12:06 – Teaching kids to value sleep (without sounding like a lecture)

🔗 Connect with Allison:

• Podcast: How Long Till Bedtime
• Website: sleepandwellnesscoach.com
• Instagram: @sleepandwellnesscoach

⚡ Ready to shift? Join my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need.

Take Action:

Join The Parental SHIFT

Book a Clarity Call

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

Let’s cut the bullshit: you don’t need another sleep tracker. You need to stop setting tomorrow-you up to fail because tonight-you is avoiding her feelings.

This is a spicy, straight-up voice note to the part of you that knows better but still stays up late watching Bravo and housing Sour Patch Kids (hi, same). This isn’t about shame. It’s about regulation, rhythm, and remembering who you are when you’re actually rested.

00:02 – Sleep isn’t a luxury—it’s your nervous system’s non-negotiable

00:45 – Why we’re blaming the engine when we’re the driver

01:10 – We are plants: why your body craves rhythm, not chaos

01:35 – You know better. Here’s why that hasn’t changed behavior

02:30 – The power of getting away with it… and why that’s self-abandonment

03:00 – When we overcorrect: the cycle of 3 good nights → 10 trash ones

04:00 – Micro-shifts that actually stick: brush your teeth, dim the lights

05:50 – What tomorrow-you needs from you tonight

06:35 – Overachieving while sleep-deprived: how we glamorize dysfunction

07:10 – Anchor points for routines that don’t suck

07:45 – SHIFT Rx = Choosing regulation > the illusion of rebellion

08:15 – Without rest, peace isn’t possible. And your body wants peace

💊 This is your SHIFT Rx. Take it with curiosity, compassion, and the knowing that you've already suffered enough. You get to put it down now.

⚡ Ready to shift? Join the Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need.

Take Action:

Join The Parental SHIFT

Book a Clarity Call

Get in Touch: Follow Davina on social media for more resources, tips, and insights into emotional literacy and personal growth:

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

aka: The Identity Crisis Hiding in Your Sleep Schedule

You’re not bad at routines. You’re starving for yourself.

This episode is a raw, real-time reflection on why we trade sleep for slivers of freedom—and what it costs us as parents, partners, and people trying to feel like ourselves again. We’re talking sleep sabotage, revenge bedtime procrastination, and the emotional tug-of-war between being responsible and being free.

00:02 – Why this episode’s late & what that teaches about presence vs. planning

01:30 – The truth: I teach regulation but still sabotage my own sleep

03:40 – What sleep debt actually does to your emotional regulation

04:20 – The 11PM me vs. the real me—chaos, cravings, and content plans

05:45 – Why bedtime feels like the last taste of freedom

06:40 – What I’m really grieving when I avoid sleep

07:50 – Journal of Behavioral Sleep Medicine: revenge bedtime defined

08:40 – Self-awareness: what’s the real need behind the delay?

09:38 – Reframing routines: not losing the night, but winning the morning

10:50 – Fortitude = Choosing rest as resistance

11:50 – Transformation: rewriting the script of what rest means

12:50 – Harvard Med stat: sleep loss reduces emotion recognition by 30%

💭 SHIFT Rx (Tuesday) → Sleep isn't a luxury; it's our nervous system's non-negotiable

🎙️ Guest Interview (Thursday) → Pediatric Sleep Coach Allison Egidi joins us for a powerful conversation about our little ones' sleep habits

🚨 Want to stop parenting from old code?

Join the Parental SHIFT and learn how to stop reacting from your past—and start leading from your actual self.

Take Action:

Book a Clarity Call

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace | @your_steady_space | @shifttalkingwithdavina
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.

Join the Community: Ready to take the next step in your emotional growth journey? Join the Steady Space community for exclusive content, monthly Q&As, and tools to help you stay steady and get your shift together.

This one’s a mic-drop moment from start to finish.

In this soul-stretching conversation, I sit down with Leslie Lindsey Davis—a truth-teller, author, and certified breaker of generational patterns. Together, we talk perfectionism, people-pleasing, imposter syndrome, addiction, emotional literacy, parenting, marriage, and why self-forgiveness isn’t weakness—it’s necessary.

We go deep into the practice of written self-conversations, how to build self-trust when the old you wants to run the show, and how to shift without shame—even when the change feels terrifying. Leslie shares the real reason many of us feel stuck, how to respond to emotional discomfort with curiosity (not control), and what it looks like to raise children differently when you weren’t raised with that same blueprint.

Whether you’ve struggled with being “the strong one,” loving someone through addiction, or feeling like your best isn’t ever quite enough—this episode will leave you seen, softened, and steady.

🔥 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:04 – Editing control vs. letting go of perfectionism

03:15 – Childhood moments that shaped our “performer” identity

06:54 – The truth about being “the easy kid” and how it warps self-worth

12:26 – How self-talk teaches the world how to treat us

17:45 – From people-pleasing to boundaries: the shift that changes everything

22:36 – How written conversations can quiet your inner chaos

31:00 – The hardest part of healing with your partner (and doing it anyway)

44:10 – What to do instead of fixing people you love

47:00 – Why we don’t celebrate progress—but we should

54:15 – “Don’t Shoot the Dog”: Using positive reinforcement to shift behavior

58:03 – Emotional literacy at 14 months old? Leslie’s granddaughter is proof

1:02:00 – Stop labeling yourself. Start understanding your patterns.

1:15:00 – The lie that keeps you stuck: “He’s the problem. I’m the good one.”

1:21:00 – How to be brutally honest with yourself and finally shift

🔗 Connect with Leslie:

• Website: youcanteatlove.com
• Book: You Can’t Eat Love
• Coming Soon: Learning to Trust Your Emotions: What Color Is My Shirt?

⚡ Ready to shift? Join my Parental SHIFT program and get the support, skills, and community you need.

Take Action:

Join The Parental SHIFT

Book a Clarity Call

• TikTok: @asteadyspace
• Instagram & Threads: @asteadyspace
• Youtube: @asteadyspace
• Visit www.asteadyspace.com for more information about coaching services and programs.