Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

By Cathy ChenParenting Kids & Family

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You episodes

January 17, 2024How Do I Prepare My Kid for College Admissions?
The college admissions process can be intimidating for even the brightest of students. And, as a parent, you might be wondering how you can help your child prepare for this important chapter. That’s where we come in! We use today’s conversation to get into three key qualities that will help teens take on the college admissions process with confidence, ease, and even excitement! Tuning in you’ll learn why these characteristics are so helpful within the admissions process, how you can foster these qualities within your children, and why it’s never too early (or too late) to start. Discover the immense value of self-awareness, how a healthy reading habit can encourage critical thinking, methods for inspiring intellectual curiosity in your kids, and much more! Don't miss out — equip your child for a brighter academic future today!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:21] An overview of today’s topic: how to prepare your kids for college admissions.
[0:02:59] The value of fostering self-awareness in your kids from a young age.
[0:04:52] Ways that schooling can undermine self-knowledge and reflection.
[0:07:24] How to help cultivate self-awareness in your kids early on.
[0:09:50] Modeling self-awareness as a parent and how to get better at it.
[0:14:15] Why fostering a love of reading from a young age is so beneficial.
[0:19:22] Thoughts on audiobooks, graphic novels, and other avenues into reading.
[0:23:08] Other forms of media, like podcasts, that introduce youngsters to good writing.
[0:27:13] Advice on how to foster intellectual curiosity in children.
[0:31:18] Unpacking how the rigidity of schooling can fail to encourage intellectual curiosity.
[0:33:05] What parents and teachers can do to cultivate intellectual curiosity in children.
[0:36:22] The benefits of deciding to ‘not travel like a tourist’ with your kids.
[0:40:28] Why you should encourage these qualities for more than just the college admissions process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
SYTWTY Podcast Episode: Is Private School or Public School Better?
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
43 min
January 10, 2024Interview with Village Founder, Cathy Chen: From College Drop-Out to Harvard Grad
Welcome to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Today we are doing an exclusive interview with our very own Cathy Chen to get to know her a little bit better. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about her early life as an immigrant, why she wasn’t a ‘good girl’, her college experience, and how her childhood influenced her career choices. We delve into her journey at Menlo before discussing Village Coaches and how it’s changed her life. Cathy tells us the best and worst parts of her job and finally, tells us about her private life and why she thinks she would be a Broadway star in an alternate universe. This episode is fun-filled and entertaining as we get personal with our very own host, so be sure to press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:09] Cathy tells us about her upbringing as an immigrant.
[0:03:58] Being a ‘naughty’ child, her not-so-great grades, and getting into college.
[0:07:53] How Cathy’s formative years influenced her career decisions.
[0:16:14] The different roles Cathy had at Menlo School and her journey there.
[0:20:33] What led to the creation of Village Coaches and how she formed it.
[0:26:15] Cathy tells us what she enjoys most and least about her work with teenagers.
[0:31:57] Her life outside of work and why she’d be on Broadway if she weren’t doing this.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
38 min
December 13, 2023Interview with Jon Burdick, Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University
Have you ever wondered how to make your character stand out to impress those highly selective institutions? The answer may surprise you - it's all about being effortlessly yourself. Joining us on the show today is Jon Burdick, a good friend and former colleague with an impressive track record, including positions as Vice Provost and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid at the University of Rochester and, more recently, as Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University. Tune in to hear Jon's insights on admissions trends, understanding 'highly rejective' schools, and his advice for those considering highly selective institutions like Cornell. He stresses the point of understanding your why and provides valuable insights on school rankings. We then dive into a discussion on character and its role in the admissions process, and he highlights why it's crucial to show integrity (and how easy it is to spot disingenuous line items on applications!) He continues to share his thoughts on AI tools and other tools he’d like to see schools leverage. Be sure not to miss out on this insightful conversation with an admissions professional, so start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] A special welcome and introduction to our guest, Jon Burdick!
[0:03:45] He shares some of the biggest trends and changes happening in admissions.
[0:06:45] Highly rejective schools: what it means and the process it entails.
[0:08:05] Jon’s general advice to those pursuing highly selective schools (like Cornell).
[0:09:50] Why it’s worth asking yourself why you want to go to a particular school.
[0:11:00] What Jon would like families to understand about school rankings.
[0:13:10] Advice to parents and students on how to approach rankings when applying.
[0:15:25] His thoughts on character and its role in the admissions process.
[0:17:00] How to demonstrate character in a way that matters to highly selective schools.
[0:19:00] Why integrity is crucial and why it’s easy to spot a disingenuous line item.
[0:20:00] AI tools: their use (or misuse) and potential impact on the admissions process.
[0:24:00] His thoughts on students using AI for writing purposes.
[0:26:10] Other tools Jon would like to see schools leverage (like interviews and tests).
[0:31:00] Why he believes life is not a straight sprint.
[0:33:00] Stripping it back to the things we know, for sure, about humans.
[0:34:25] Why good teaching actually matters and finding ways to support teachers.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Jonathan Burdick on LinkedIn
Jonathan Burdick on X
Ask Dean B
The Character Initiative
Mastery Transcript Consortium
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
37 min
December 06, 2023Is Greek Life Right For My Child?
Have you ever wondered what happens behind fraternities and sororities’ closed doors on college campuses? Is your child interested in participating in Greek life but you are not sure if it is the right fit for them? In this episode, we delve into the heart of fraternity and sorority life, exploring what it means to be part of a Greek organization, the pros and cons of joining, and the unique experiences it offers. From the camaraderie and networking opportunities to the controversies and misconceptions, we lay it all out for you, helping you decide whether Greek life is right for your child. Gain insights into the aspects your child needs to be aware of before joining, the mysterious rush process, the responsibilities that come with pledging, and much more. Whether you're a curious student, a concerned parent, or simply an intrigued listener, we offer valuable advice to help you make the right decision for your child. To uncover the secrets of this fundamental aspect of the college experience, tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:45] Episode outline: should your kid join a sorority or fraternity?
[0:02:15] Cathy talks about her college sorority experience.
[0:04:00] Meredith shares why she chose not to join a sorority.
[0:07:42] How Greek Life can vary from college to college.
[0:11:02] Learn about the benefits and value of participating in Greek Life.
[0:15:00] Hear about the downsides of participating in a sorority or fraternity.
[0:19:15] Insights into “rush”, its purpose, and what it entails.
[0:25:08] What parents need to accept about Greek Life: substances and partying.
[0:27:35] Essential advice and recommendations for parents.
[0:31:05] The ins and outs of the pledging process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
34 min
November 29, 2023Interview With Former Student, Maya Donato On Her Unconventional Path To Success
Sometimes it is very difficult for parents to understand the experiences and emotions of their teenagers and it’s almost as if they have forgotten what it’s like to be a teen. Today’s guest is quite close to her teenage experience and has created an incredible mentorship program to help teenage girls through their own adolescent years. She also happens to be a past student of Cathy’s! Maya Donato joins us to discuss her unconventional college experience, feelings of not fitting in socially and how to combat them, and the importance of practicing self-love. We talk about the benefits of giving teens a degree of experience before discussing how to cultivate gratitude and positive thinking into teenagers’ lives. Finally, Maya shares some invaluable advice about cutting out negative self-talk and developing a good relationship with yourself in order to be happy. You don’t want to miss out on this truly inspirational conversation so tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Introducing our guest, Cathy’s former student, Maya Donato.
[0:02:24] The reason Maya started her mentorship program for teenage girls.
[0:05:53] The importance of allowing teenagers to have a degree of independence.
[0:10:50] Maya tells us about her high school and college application experience.
[0:19:07] Why unconventional college experiences are just as valuable as the norm.
[0:22:34] Maya shares some advice for students who don’t fit into their school socially.
[0:26:37] How having adult friends and friends from other schools can help teens in school.
[0:30:37] Maya’s struggles with self-love and the importance of practicing self-acceptance.
[0:32:22] Some ways to cultivate gratitude and incorporate mindfulness into teenagers’ lives.
[0:34:42] The importance of cutting off negative thoughts in order to practice self-love.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Maya Donato
Maya Donato Email Address
Maya Donato on Instagram
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
41 min
November 15, 2023To transfer or not to transfer? That is the question.
Is your child contemplating the big leap of transferring colleges? And are you unsure of whether you should encourage them to persevere, or help them find an institution that’s a better fit? College transfers can be fraught with uncertainty. Whether it's from a community college to a more selective university, or a transfer between four-year institutions, it's a decision that can reshape a student's academic and personal trajectory. That’s why we’re using today’s episode to delve into the intricacies of transferring, like knowing when it makes sense to transfer (and when it doesn’t), how to navigate the process across different institutions, and what you can do to support your child if they’re unhappy at their school. We also discuss the many strengths of community college, the type of students who could be well-suited to that type of environment, and the robust support they provide to those wanting to transfer. Tune in as we help you navigate the transfer process, from pushing through challenges to recognizing when it's genuinely time to consider other options!

Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:44] An overview of what we mean by transferring.
[0:02:14] Transferring from community college to four-year university.
[0:03:24] The type of students who might benefit from community college.
[0:05:00] Transferring from a four-year school to another four-year school.
[0:08:25] When it makes sense for a student to transfer.
[0:10:23] Knowing when it’s not a good idea to transfer a student.
[0:11:16] What to know about transferring to get into a more selective institution.
[0:14:11] The importance of having a compelling reason to transfer.
[0:17:37] Understanding why kids push against the idea of community college.
[0:20:04] Knowing when community college is not the right fit.
[0:21:53] How to approach coursework if you’re planning to transfer.
[0:25:10] One of Meredith’s favorite admission stories.
[0:28:01] A reminder of how monumental the transition from high school to college is.
[0:30:05] How to support your child if they’re unhappy at their school.
[0:31:39] Finding belonging in college as a minority student.
[0:32:47] When Honor’s programs can be a good fit.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
36 min
November 08, 2023Think You Have a ‘Lazy’ Kid? Here’s What’s Really Happening
Ever found yourself putting things off for later, even when you know you shouldn't? Yup, that's procrastination. In today's episode, we break down why all of us, including teenagers, tend to postpone certain tasks, and what can be done to address this. Many people, parents included, often think of procrastination as nothing more than a delay tactic or that it’s simply the result of being lazy or forgetful. But procrastination is far more complex than that. It can be a coping mechanism to help you deal with difficult emotions or avoid the pressure of perfectionism. It can even signal something more serious, like depression or anxiety. But there is hope! Join us today as we lay out actionable strategies; from understanding the heart of procrastination to embracing mindfulness, time-blocking, and crafting procrastination-resistant environments. Remember, change isn't always a straight path, but with commitment and the right tools, you can guide your teen toward a more productive, delay-free life!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:20] What procrastination is and why we do it.
[0:04:20] The most common things teens procrastinate about.
[0:06:06] Why procrastination can often be a warning sign of something else.
[0:07:11] Chronic procrastination and its side effects.
[0:07:49] How perfectionism can lead to procrastination.
[0:08:52] Thinking of procrastination as an addiction cycle.
[0:10:23] How you can help your kid become more resilient.
[0:12:26] Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up if your kid is a procrastinator.
[0:14:13] Effective strategies for helping teenagers with procrastination habits.
[0:16:58] How to help kids develop strategies to combat procrastination.
[0:21:40] Why positive reinforcement is much more effective than criticism.
[0:22:59] Collaborating on creating an environment that prevents procrastination.
[0:26:08] How to address the conflict caused by procrastination.
[0:27:27] Time blindness, and tips on how to time block.
[0:30:39] The value of asking questions and being curious.
[0:34:05] How bad responses from teachers can discourage kids from asking questions.
[0:36:02] Self-regulation and how to use habit stacking.
[0:37:45] Normalizing procrastination and a reminder that changing your habits takes time!
Time Blocking Apps:
Forest
Freedom
FocusMe
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
39 min
November 01, 2023College Admissions Insider Interview with Gary Clark, Associate Vice Chancellor of Enrollment Management at UCLA
Have you ever had a neighbor drop 'inside info' on UC admissions and you weren't quite sure if it held water? Well, today's episode is your ultimate UC admissions reality check – don't miss it! This week's guest is Gary Clark, the Associate Vice Chancellor of Enrollment Management at UCLA. With his extensive experience, Gary provides valuable insights into admissions and enrollment at UCLA, as well as the broader college application process. In this episode, Gary discusses hot topics like Affirmative Action, dispels common myths about UC admissions, touches on the selection process likened to a lottery system, and shares insights into UCLA's transfer process. If attending UCLA is your dream, you'll want to hear why transferring is a viable option. This episode offers a wealth of information on all things related to the UC admissions process, so don't miss out!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] An introduction to our guest today: Gary Clark.
[0:02:25] We discuss a current hot topic in the admissions world: Affirmative Action.
[0:06:45] His “prediction” of what will happen with admissions this year.
[0:09:00] Busting myths about the UC admissions process.
[0:12:38] His advice to parents and students considering applying to UC.
[0:13:15] Our guest’s response to the selection process being compared to a lottery system.
[0:15:10] How the demand far exceeds the capacity at highly competitive institutions.
[0:16:00] Gary discusses UCLA's transfer process (especially through community college).
[0:18:30] Why community college can potentially be a better pathway for many students.
[0:19:45] Reasons why transferring to UCLA is a definite option!
[0:20:30] He talks about the importance of considering context when reviewing applications.
[0:22:45] Busted myth: admitting a certain number of students from certain high schools.
[0:23:00] The four targets they do have.
[0:24:23] Exploring the UC info center.
[0:24:55] He explains the UC approach to out-of-state and international student admissions.
[0:26:50] Examining the upward trend and increase in applications when UC went test-free.
[0:28:00] The reason behind why UC went test-free and the effect it had on applications.
[0:29:40] He explains what test-free really means.
[0:31:00] Details regarding the application for UC.
[0:32:00] A caution to students who turn their voices and applications to AI (or anyone outside of you).
[0:34:10] How having an almost college-ready kid has impacted his approach to the college process.
[0:36:30] His best advice to parents and kids getting ready for the college application process.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Gary Clark on LinkedIn
Gary Clark
University of California Information Center
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
40 min
October 25, 2023The Secret to Writing a Great Personal Statement
Navigating the intricacies of crafting the perfect personal statement as a high school senior involves the art of skillfully constructing a narrative that authentically reflects one's individuality, maturity, and readiness for the next educational level. Although it’s much easier said than done! Join us as we delve deeper into the world of personal statement essays! In this episode, Cathy and Meredith explore key strategies for unlocking the secrets to crafting an outstanding personal statement including the challenges it presents, its underlying purpose, setting strong goals, and the significance of understanding what defines you as a student. They discuss some of the most commonly made mistakes, offer pragmatic tips, and debunk the myth about reaching a grand conclusion. They also explore common mistakes well-intentioned parents often make and the no-nos of advice from “people who really don’t know what they are talking about!” For all this and more, start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:53] The topic for this week’s episode: the personal statement.
[0:02:00] What makes the personal statement so challenging.
[0:02:30] We talk about the purpose of the essay.
[0:05:00] The time an admissions counselor spends reading the essay.
[0:06:20] Compelling information and red flag scans (and what not to include!)
[0:08:08] An impactful essay and why some kids can’t get there.
[0:09:03] One big takeaway we want listeners to walk away with.
[0:09:48] General, but strong, goals to set for your child when writing their essay.
[0:10:45] What Cathy tells students who pick ‘cliché’ topics.
[0:11:47] Traveling and service essays and what makes Meredith cringe.
[0:12:30] What makes you fundamentally you and why that’s a great place to start.
[0:13:35] What we are not saying.
[0:14:42] College admissions officers are looking for maturity and readiness.
[0:16:00] The admission process is highly subjective, don’t forget it!
[0:16:52] Pragmatic things a great essay needs to have.
[0:17:20] Side thoughts on a ‘grabby’ opening to the essay.
[0:17:50] What we mean by a ‘grabby’ opening.
[0:18:07] We talk about grammar, structure, and readability.
[0:19:40] The myth of reaching a grand conclusion.
[0:20:15] Knowing your audience; who is the admissions officer at the target school?
[0:21:10] We talk further about common mistakes students make.
[0:23:00] Taboo topics when it comes to the essay.
[0:27:03] Common mistakes well-intentioned parents make when it comes to the essay.
[0:29:45] A quick tangent on the non-meritocracy of highly selective private colleges.
[0:30:10] Advice from people who don’t know what they are doing.
[0:31:58] We discuss the importance of drafting and editing.
[0:34:00] When to ‘let it go’.
[0:34:35] If you have a question, please let us know!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Johns Hopkins Essays That Worked
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
35 min
October 18, 2023College Admissions Insider Interview with Tim Brunold, Dean of Admissions USC
It’s often said that getting into college is simply the luck of the draw, totally random, and unpredictable. But today’s guest firmly believes it’s anything but that. He sees it as both an art and a science, a meticulous process that demands care, thought, and effort. We’re back for a very special episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! We’re thrilled to have an amazing admissions professional and an even more amazing friend, Tim Brunold! He is currently the Dean of Admission at USC and an enrollment specialist, here today to share his wisdom and insights into the world of college admissions from both perspectives – an admissions professional and parent of a college-ready kid. Join the conversation to hear more from Tim as he explains enrollment management and the science of it. He talks about numbers, volume, and the sense of the scale of applications, and why there’s no such thing as a universally acceptable college student! He highlights the goal of most colleges to create a well-rounded class versus well-rounded individuals, and elaborates on why families should have confidence in admissions offices. We deep dive into a discussion about character and the role it plays in the process, how they navigate the issue of character measuring, and the clues they look for. Be sure not to miss out on all this, and so much more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:53] An exciting introduction to our very special guest: Tim Brunold.
[0:01:30] More about his career journey as an admissions professional.
[0:03:15] Why we are so excited to have Tim on the show today.
[0:05:00] How big the admissions office is at USC.
[0:06:00] He highlights how things have changed in the admissions sphere.
[0:07:10] Tim explains enrollment management and the science of it.
[0:09:30] He talks about numbers, volume, and the sense of the scale of applications.
[0:13:15] Considering sample sizes.
[0:14:10] Why there’s no such thing as a universally acceptable student.
[0:14:45] Getting in by merit, but what do you mean by merit?
[0:15:55] College goals of creating well-rounded classes versus individual students.
[0:17:00] Understanding where students are coming from; doing admissions work correctly.
[0:19:10] He elaborates on why families should have confidence in admissions officers.
[0:22:06] Selecting a student is both an art and a science, and to a degree, selective.
[0:24:25] We talk about the role of character in the admissions process.
[0:26:48] Navigating the issue of measuring student character, and the clues they look for.
[0:29:20] A recent positive trend Tim has seen in the admissions world.
[0:32:04] He highlights a trend that he is less excited about.
[0:35:11] A look at the marketing college-ready students/families receive.
[0:36:40] Colleges are both a place of higher learning and business.
[0:37:40] Tim shares a parent takeaway and advice (wearing his parent hat!)
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Tim Brunold on LinkedIn
Tim Brunold
University of California
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
43 min

About Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

From the publisher's feed

Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them…