In part one of 1,000 of Love Is Blind, Season 2 After the Altar, Iyana puts on a brave face, Nick can barely contain his contempt for Shaina (not to mention Shake), and Natalie is getting a surprise party she appears to be well aware of?

In this recap of the Season 2 reunion show, Daisy and Ellyn discuss aspirational hairstyles, unflattering fashion, and Vanessa’s need for new gays, plus a few things that matter — like how pissed and drunk everyone on stage is and how much they all hate Shake.

It’s the season 2 weddings! Will Nick’s sweat send Danielle into a spiral? Will Iyana finally see the red flags?? Will Shake EVER shut the fuck up??? You might be surprised! But you probably won’t.

In episode 9 of season 2, Shake and Jareteteetee are insufferable, Deepti and Iyanna both have doubts, and Danielle ruins a perfectly lovely charcuterie board by just being herself. Also, we get the first half of the first wedding of the season, and Nick’s antiperspirant really gave out.

In season 2 episode 8, Daisy and Ellyn agree that Natalie definitely learned how to neg from Mama Nan, and that Iyanna’s parents are her age and they are not here for your bullshit, but also may have brought a dying cat to the get together? Shayne announces in front of his mom that Natalie had diarrhea. And Danielle Danielles all over the cake tasting. Also they try on dresses and suits (literally who cares?).

In season 2 episode 7 we find out that Shayne doesn’t JUST want a cape at his wedding, he also wants hot dogs, mac and cheese, and an Old Fashioned cocktail fountain. Nick’s family might send Danielle absolutely over the edge. And if Mallory wasn’t regretting saying yes to Sal before, his out of tune serenade at her will probably do the trick.

In season 2, episode 6 of Love Is Blind, we learn that Shayne only has one thing he REALLY wants for his wedding (spoiler: it’s NOT capri tuxedo pants), Danielle’s mom should spend less time discussing her daughter’s flaws and more time making her husband dinner while he goes fishing, and Shaina was the villain we somehow missed in the first go-around.

In season 2, episode 5, Danielle’s insecurities are as obvious as her contour. Shayne begs Natalie for a compliment but she can’t hear him over her constant negging. And Mallory LOVES her ring, she swears, but like, clearly Sal doesn’t actually want to marry her because it’s not yellow gold. Also, Kyle tells Shaina she’s a rare find, which is understandable because he lives in a tree.

In this recap of season 2, episode 4 of Love is Blind, Daisy and Ellyn practice giving — and receiving — compliments. We learn how phenomenally low the cast members’ bar is (like, at the earth’s core). Shake has diarrhea of the mouth while Danielle has diarrhea of the butt. Enjoy!

Three Love in Paradise? What is even HAPPENING over here? In this episode Ellyn and Daisy begin to seriously wonder if anyone is okay. All the people get engaged. Even those who ABSOLUTELY KNOW they shouldn’t. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Also, Ellyn implores Daisy not to mention “schmaschmorshun”on their comedy podcast.