Skilling It!

Skilling It!

By Dr. Chris WilsonReligion & SpiritualityChristianity
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Skilling It! episodes

  • The Art of Conflict Resolution: Come to the Table - Collaborative Problem-solving

    The final installment in The Art of Conflict Resolution series

    Come to the Table - Collaborative Problem-solving

    In this episode, we’ll look at coming to the table to do some collaborative problem-solving.

    This is typically the last step toward resolving conflict. If you’ve gotten this far – Congratulations!

    If you’re struggling, consider going back to episode 4 The Art of Conflict Resolution for an overview of the conflict resolution series.

    In this final episode, we’ll look at:

    · The difference between compromise and collaboration

    · Ideas that encourage people to come to the table to collaborate

    · Obstacles that prevent people from coming to the table

    · WIIFM - What's in it for Me?

    · 6 steps for collaborative problem-solving 


    Thank you for listening! Please come back for Season 3 which will start with Building Better Boundaries.

    Works Cited

    Bolton, R. P.  (1979). People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and  resolve conflicts. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

    Sande, K. (2004). The Peace  Maker. Grand Rapids: Baker Books. 

    34 min
  • The Art of Conflict Resolution: Assertiveness - Truths and Myths

    In this episode, we’ll look at using assertive communication in when it’s our turn to state our views, needs, feelings, and opinions in conflict.

    We’ll discuss how Jesus was assertive, what it means to be assertive, and some myths and truths associated with this type of communication.

    We’ll analyze the payoffs and penalties to each of the 3 main communication styles: Submissive, assertive, aggressive.

    We’ll examine what’s in it for me (WIIFM) and break down steps to form a solid assertive statement. 

    We’ll look at when this type of communication can come in handy beyond conflict resolution and answer some commonly asked questions about assertive communication.

    Works Cited

    Bolton, R. P.  (1979). People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and  resolve conflicts. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

    36 min
  • The Art of Conflict Resolution: The Gift of Listening

    SHOW NOTES:

    Link to extended episode notes (hope it works!) - Season 2 Ep. 8: The Gift of Listening

    In this episode we discuss the role of listening in our lives and how it can transform conflict.

    Highlights of this episode include:

    · The benefits of robust listening skills

    · Definitions of listening and empathy

    · When it's not a good time to listen

    · Considering your intentions before listening

    · Active or Attentive listening

    · Empathic listening

    o Includes cautions for empathic listening

    James 1:19 provides some guidance including being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

    References

    Bolton, R. P.   (1979). People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and   resolve conflicts. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

    Leal, B. I. (2017). 4   Essential keys to effective communication in love, life, work-anywhere! .

    Newberg, A. M., & Waldman, M.   R. (2013). Words Can Change Your Brain. New York: Avery an imprint of   Penguin Random House, LLC.

    Rogers, C. (1980). A Way of   Being. Houghton Mifflin Company.

    Sande, K. (2004). The Peace   Maker. Grand Rapids: Baker Books.

    How to Improve Your Empathic Listening Skills: 7 Techniques article https://positivepsychology.com/empathic-listening/

    Contact me at - [email protected]

    My website: www.Iheartresolution.com

    33 min
  • The Art of Conflict Resolution: R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

    In Season 2, Episode 5 we discuss the effects of conflict and stress and suggested 6 steps for resolving conflict.

    In this episode we discuss the second step in resolving conflict which is to treat the other with respect. James 1:19 provides some guidance including being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

    In addition, this podcast considers body language, choice of words, and the language of cooperation – integral for conflict resolution.

    We’ll also analyze altruistic punishment or the idea that we’re biologically wired to punish those who fail to understand social reciprocity.

    This podcast addresses each of these components and provides ideas and insight that will help prepare you to engage with the other in a way that can build relationships and promote well-being.

    References

    Sande, K. (2004). The   Peace Maker. Grand Rapids: Baker Books.

    Sapolsky, R. (2010). Stress and   Your Body Course Guidebook. Chantilly, Virginia, United States.

    Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J.   L. (2011). Interpersonal Conflict. New York: The McGraw-Hill   Companies.

    The Art of Conflict Management: Achieving Solutions for Life, Work, and Beyond

    Part of the Great Courses Series by Michael Dues, Ph.D.

    Contact me at - [email protected]

    My website: www.Iheartresolution.com

    31 min
  • The Art of Conflict Resolution: Know Thyself

    In Season 2, Episode 5 we discuss the effects of conflict and stress and suggest 6 steps for resolving conflict.

    In this episode we discuss the first step in resolving conflict which is to step back, pause, prepare, and pray for your attitude.

    This podcast addresses each of these components and provides insight and ideas to help prepare you to engage with the other in a way that can build relationships and promote well-being.


    You can contact me at - [email protected]

    My website: www.Iheartresolution.com


    To support this podcast, click on:

    https://anchor.fm/christina-r-wilson/support

    You can also copy the link and paste it into your web browser.

    Thank you in advance!


    References

    Sande, K. (2004). The   Peace Maker. Grand Rapids: Baker Books.

    Sapolsky, R. (2010). Stress and   Your Body Course Guidebook. Chantilly, Virginia, United States.

    Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J.   L. (2011). Interpersonal Conflict. New York: The McGraw-Hill   Companies.

    The Art of Conflict Management: Achieving Solutions for Life, Work, and Beyond

    Part of the Great Courses Series by Michael Dues, Ph.D.

    28 min
  • The Art of Conflict Resolution

    Conflict is unavoidable so what can one do? This podcast discusses the effects of conflict handled poorly, the impact and signs of stress as a result of conflict, and the benefits of conflict handled well. We also discuss the effects of conflict on children. I share some ideas for conflict mitigation and prevention, common conflict components, and basic ideas to prepare for and resolve conflict. 

    For conflict coaching or training, I can be reached at [email protected] 

    32 min
  • Reframing Failure

    Everyone faces failure to some degree. It doesn't feel good but is it always a bad thing? Listen and find out more about failure and how to survive and even thrive through failure. 

    23 min
  • Self-confidence, Self-worth and cultural myths

    In this episode we look at the difference between self-confidence and self-worth. We also review a new "self" word - self-regard. We compare yardsticks our culture and the media use to measure people versus what God says about us. Then we'll look at practical ways to begin to form a more pragmatic view of ourselves. 


    SHOW NOTES:

    SHOW NOTES:

    Season 2 Episode 3

    Amy Cuddy nonverbals

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI9kJuWEuIo

    21-day reminder from www.Chellbee.com

    A. Review of our strengths: Answer the following:

    1. What things am I good at?

    2. What do I like about my body?

    3. Some things I’ve done to help others

    4. What do I value?

    5. What are some compliments I’ve received?

    6. Think of challenges you’ve overcome.

    7. What makes me unique?

    8. Times I’ve made others happy.

    B. Journal At the end of each day for 5 days

    Day 1 – I felt proud of myself when…

    Or I enjoyed…

    Day 2 – The highlight of my day was…

    3 small successes I had today were…

    Day 3 – 3 unique things about me…

    My best attribute about me is…

    Day 4 – 5 things or people I’m thankful for

    I’m excited for…

    Day 5 – I feel best about myself when…

    5 ways my life is awesome…

    Steven Furtick Meditation

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lNPJJpxkg4

    21 min
  • Self-confidence and Self-worth Preview

    I've been away for a while taking care of some things but it's time to get back. The next episode is about self-confidence and self-worth and I'm thinking it will be a two-parter. Stay tuned! 

    ---
    Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/christina-r-wilson/support
    2 min
  • Procrastination vs. Carpe Diem
    Procrastination vs. Carpe Diem Season 2 Episode 2


    In this podcast, we'll review some of the research regarding causes of procrastination. We'll look at generalized procrastination and the spiritual aspects of seizing the day through Bartimaeus. We'll hear from guests on their perspective of procrastination and look at some solutions. We've got this!


    SHOW NOTES:

    Research: • Procrastination is linked to higher levels of stress and lower wellbeing (Jaffe, 2013; Stead, Shanahan, & Neufeld, 2010; Hairston & Shpitalni, 2016).


    Specifically, according to Stead et al., “Anxiety and depression are positively correlated with self-report and behavioral measures of procrastination” (2010, p. 175).


    Further, Hairston and Shpitalni (2016) link procrastination to negative affect and self-reported sleep disturbances.


    According to Svartdal et al. (2018, p. 2) the adverse effects of procrastination include “increased stress, lower task performance, reduced wellbeing, regret and suffering, and risk of mental and physical illness.”


    Rick Warren’s Devotional – Seize the Moment https://pastorrick.com/seize-the-moment/ Procrastination Blog https://positivepsychology.com/psychology-procrastination/


    Causes of Procrastination:


    1. Neuroticism Neuroticism is similar to worrying, trait anxiety, or negative affect, according to Steel (2007).


    2. Impulsivity Impulsive people procrastinate, preferring to focus on desires of the moment (Steel, 2007)


    3. Conscientiousness Conscientiousness includes variables such as distractibility (self-control), poor organization (structuring and planning one’s life), low achievement motivation (goal setting, enjoyment of performance), and a gap between intention and action (Steel, 2007)


    4. Lack of self-confidence or low self-efficacy Stemming from a fear of failure, both low self-efficacy and low self-esteem are associated with procrastination (Steel, 2007).


    5. Discomfort dodging (Task aversion) Discomfort dodging includes tasks put off “because some parts of it are associated with uncomfortable and, possibly anxious, feelings” (Knaus, 1979, p. 5).


    6. Perfectionism In his 1979 book Do It Now, William J. Knaus included a chapter on the association between perfectionism and procrastination. He states perfectionism is unrealistic and linked to fear of failure. However, Steel, an expert in the field, gives procrastination less credit, citing, “procrastinators are actually less likely, not more, to be perfectionists” (2007, p. 81).


    Skills: Ideas for getting started:


    1. THE FIVE-MINUTE RULE. Do something you’re avoiding for five minutes – if you hate it stop. Chances are once you get started you’ll be good to go. Mary Poppins sang a song “Once begun is half done"


    2. VISUALIZATION – Image successful completion of the task. Weird you say? Professional athletes, CEO’s, and many successful do visualization on a regular basis.


    STEPS 1. Think of a past behavior or conflict that ended in disappointment. We’ll use procrastination for this visualization.


    2. Understand that, under the circumstances, you handled it the only way you could. (grace)


    3. Think, “How could I have handled this with the wisdom I have now?”


    4. Now, think back to that same situation. Immerse yourself in it as if it is recurring, using all of your senses. Be as specific as possible. This time, imagine yourself behaving masterfully. Seizing the day and starting on that project or communication.


    5. Congratulate yourself for programming your own future.


    3. MINDFULNESS In Unwinding Anxiety (2021), Judson Brewer discusses procrastination and the worry loop that leads to procrastination. He describes the standard habit loop as trigger, behavior, result.

     


    27 min

About Skilling It!

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In this podcast we weave biblical concepts and wellness research into lessons and practical exercises. The primary focus is Interpersonal and emotional intelligence skills and self care ideas. If…