SMARTER THAN TRAUMA Podcast

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"The card I made. The way this stuff came out of me"

32%?

INTRODUCTION to the neurologist and what she said, "I've played this games before." & sentiments about kids with special needs getting hosed by the very system meant to protect. 

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          I agree, PTSD is finally done.

PROMPTING EVENT | what created the acute biological sensory reaction? [known as triggers]

What happened BEFORE or antecedent?

"on THIS site?" Which site? (Facebook) "Thank you for sharing all the behaviors...[not] effective" & do the opposite. 

Now, I'll be sharing that event HERE

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It's math. A clever way to get me to listen to self & my voice & not hear that voice BEGGING TO LIVE, then BEGGING TO DIE. That's the compare/contrast, life/death, black/white, good/evil, temptation/certainty & other opposites that we are in limbo with.

It's creating in-between time. A DEADline (a recognition of OFFENSE against suicide). By using a word? Yes! The power of words & I will prove it through advocacy. What you say matters. When you say something, mean it. Don't be unclear on purpose or comfortable with willful ignorance. 

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She said, "She cooks & it's how she shares love." So her love language is feeding people! That connected to my family, faith & practicing daily what consent it. What you put in our body more or less. 

Then years later, she took it back. "Using her for her food & talents." YIKES.  That was an interesting period when a child does not talk to a relative. I think we should ZOOM IN. Since I knew both of them

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The photo I will now LOOK FOR & FIND since this is hide-and-seek. When you freeze form stress & from getting found to be ____ (yikes) you learn to hold self still for HOURS. & you NEVER SLEEP.

HEARD STRATEGY | When you have two people pointing the finger at each other (close relationship. Teacher/para) ask them to sit down as a trio to discuss & all of a sudden, there's no issues. I said it. It was about HOW TO GRADE. THAT I HAD TO GRADE THEM. QUANTIFY BEHAVIORS using a growth model meaning I'm looking at personal success & specific skill acquisition. 

"The hypocrisy." Living in a world that is full of so much suffering, much that could end instantly, if we are a caring nation so money above all else is The Understanding that makes INSANE GREED ok?

Then zoom in on this "community" & their insane greed. Then behind-the-scenes of families since I only hung out with my students & they kept talking to me like I'm stupid. Repeating the same thing & never moving forward is this idea called YOU FOLLOW THROUGH. YOU STAY CONSISTENT. YOU DO NOT HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR COMPANY WRITE THE COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM as I'm getting reading (at museums/museum labels) & writing samples (handwritten thank you notes) of this student preparing him on weekly (weekend only) hourly walks talking about his studies, interests & ideas.

DISCONNECT : handling the technology so photos is now out. AGAIN. What motivates you to take a photo?

RECONNECT : through food. The one beet recipe you need. This WOMAN (lol) had to have all my homemade food that was not meant for you, but that's ok. I can do it again, but this time, a LAST TIME (in stone). It's new. I don't need to be around people who don't understand no. I said, no & then tried to be persuaded. I explained, I had to fight really hard to make this sauce this time. It's feeding someone who I want to have substance & kindness/care (thinking of you) & I don't know you. Well at all. You're just here in the same space I'm in. 

WHO YOU COOK FOR. 

To know, I will not share a meal with you! Makes the time I recorded the 1st shared meal & hands clenched, but strategies evoked. To make an annual tradition to go here---FOOD! ALWAYS with this one. & that one. Transfer all that to cooking for homeless, margins & numbers. 

Through my family a long time ago, I connected with a chef who agreed to help tweak a few recipes I had for homeless in terms of margins since I had lost numbers. I knew a couple people who also cooked. Fantastic home chefs & self-described foodies, but only one was one I shared this loss of numbers with. The only reason to share was a request to show up at a time and place in the future & my words, "that's actually too hard for me. If we meet face-to-face, you'll have to check my work, but yes. Of course I'll be there." TRAVEL, NUMBERS, ANTICIPATION, 

STRATEGY THAT WORKS : letting tbi know you're on your way. EASE : ludicrously easy REPETITION : every time you're on you way, just inform ahead of time + it's an easy, no-brainer response. A thumbs up. The first emoji attached to how a picture has many more words. Meaning, "see the message. When I read it, I will respond to it using 'reply' in texting options." 

This helps to get prepared to (a) talk & say "hi!" INPUT BY SAYING HI & CROUCHING TO PET (after asking if ok) TO EVERY DOG I CAME ACROSS. Years worth. When I couldn't pick up head & had 2-3x med appointments.

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When talking, there are moments where things bubble up & are trying to surface & you actually hear it. In the soon to be podcast (it's in my phone now) titled I HEARD VOICE. Now, ready to hear 8 minute one using worksheet (I lost them) to fill out & get back to NOTE-TAKING. The safest space. Own voice. All my ideas. Rebuild TRUST.

I heard, "you can totally f with her." Yea, I get it. As I type this, while listening, I would never be able to talk to someone like this since it then allows them to know you can be f'ed with so the strategy was to just get it all out---this is my vulnerability/function. Great---but the reality is saying "STAY HERE" repeatedly was what I was stating to self in UK. I hear it & being in the US, that connection was the wind on top of a mountain in the Lakes District.

The message was DELIVERED. We have to have a contract. The "What? You don't trust me?" & that's the OVER REACTION and contradiction (the origin) of DON'T TELL MY PARENTS to them sharing it AT THE END OF THE NIGHT AT A omg, IDK. This place that was alway popping up, is simply not there. 

It'll be there in YouTube or pictures or posts somewhere & perhaps NEXT TIME it appears, I'll recall, but less vividly. With less intensity. 

That Dutch Apple Breakfast dish is when someone requested to go to a certain place to get a certain meal & the answer is an ABSOLUTE YET & it became a tradition.

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The language.

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THANKS TV.

BEHAVIORALISM is my JAM.

increase the desirable behaviors.

decrease the undesirable behaviors.

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singsong is simply referring to the minstrel times. 

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cards.

ALL THAT & MORE wrapped up into a game of cards. Not bad.

Make it a weekly thing. 

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