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Welcome to Smeared Mascara’s annual Super Bowl Monday show.  The ladies gloss over the actual game and focus on the Half Time performance.  They delve into Jalen Hurts’ 90s R&B style, Kendrick’s outfit and Mustard’s real name.  Learn about Sza’s other talent and why Serena Williams is the Crip Walk Queen.

Mandy pretends to be a sports reporter and gives us the very basics about NBA All Star Weekend.  Contract chasers, be prepared.

Brooke explains her stance on America’s silent battle… The president versus bronzer.

 As always, this episode contains almost every vulgar word you’ve ever heard and about three new ones.  Listen with caution. 

Put on your flare jeans and get comfy.  It’s time to enjoy Smeared Mascara.

**Like your right to vote, ladies?  Be informed and keep your rights.  Let your reps and senators know!

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Walk the virtual red carpet with Brooke and Mandy! The slaydies discuss the Grammy Awards fashion and chisme. Of course they didn’t watch the broadcast. This piece of quality journalism is fueled by TikTok. 

Make sure your face tape is on tight because the fast pace of this week’s conversation could cause a concussion.

Tender ears need not listen because the language is vulgar. Would you expect anything else from these classy bitches? So kick off your shoes and relax your feet, party on down to the Smeared Mascara beat. 

**Celebs to know for this episode: Babyface, Doechii, and the fictional character from Eastbound & Down, Kenny Powers.  GenZ, this helpful tip is for you.

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Welcome back to your favorite pop culture podcast fueled by ADHD!  Listen to the latest and greatest from Mandy and Brooke.  In this episode, Mandy is obsessed with the runway video featuring Zaddy Newsome, and Brooke is setting boundaries while wheezing.  How are these babes navigating the executive orders of 2025?  To quote Dorina Medley, “Not well, bitch.” Serious topics like financial literacy and vaccines are discussed.  Please do your research and fact check what we’re saying.  Thanks.
 
The pod has new digits and a new segment, the Cheesecake Factory has seen some things, and line dancing is mesmerizing.  Some movies, pods, and tv shows are recommended and have most likely been mentioned in previous episodes.  These bitches like what they like and get hyper-focused, okay??? 
 
The language is typical pod language so you know what do.  This isn’t for small children or uptight folks.  Remember to take your meds, meditate and hydrate.  Smeared Mascara is self care.  You’re welcome.
 
P.S. Paris Hilton and Paris Fashion Week are sliving

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Join Brooke and Mandy as they ponder life under the new regime… ummm, presidency.  How will they balance reality and delusion while surviving the next four years?  Listen to how productive they were (or weren’t) during the TikTok Ban.  Hopefully you didn’t delete the app..
 
Hear their latest recommendations on tv shows, podcasts and movies.  Spoiler alert: Drag Queens and Vampire Peens are involved.
 
Hope you’re well versed in college dance competitions, because Brooke has some opinions! 
 
So adjust your wig and pop in those air pods for the latest installment of Smeared Mascara. 
 
In case you’re wondering, here is our self proclaimed rating system:
 
Language = Nasty AF
Mood = Bitchy
Entertainment Value = HELLA

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Some of you may have noticed that there was no new episode last week. The LA fires and everything else in the world were too much for the ladies. There was a recording and it was unhinged. 
Never fear because Brooke and Mandy are back! They’re taking pop culture moments directly from TikTok and explaining their relevance to you. 

Hear how Spanx and handbags are the new coping mechanisms for 2025. Can you say snatched in style?

There is major shade and cancellation being thrown at the presidential inauguration performers. Bye Carrie and the guys who sings the song from Cars!

And of course the conversation turns to gastrointestinal stories because farts are funny… most of the time. Brooke and Mandy retell the joys of colonoscopies and ponder why they get a bad rap. Make Colonoscopies Fun Again! 

Don’t forget to listen with caution because the language is vulgar and nasty. It’s best to listen to Smeared Mascara after carpool and before church. 

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This episode was recorded on January 6, 2025. No masks or vaccines required. Certain constitutional rights are favored while others are disregarded. Don’t tread on my wall or my trad wife.

Smeared Mascara officially rings in the new year with goals and positivity. Brooke and Mandy are working towards being authentic and confident beezies. Golden Globes fashion is discussed even though neither host watched the award show. Hooray for social media and modern journalism! 

Brooke informs us about the viral sorority text from 2013 and Mandy reveals her glow-up plan for the year.

Remember that this podcast isn’t for baby ears and that vulgarities are frequently used as well as encouraged.  Put your Honda Civic Si into fifth gear because Smeared Mascara is taking you for a trip!

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In this week’s episode, Brooke and Mandy profess their love of Caleb Hearon and their disdain of bong rips in the city.

Goals for 2025 are discussed briefly. The ADHD train quickly leaves the station and new topics are introduced like migraines, Ash Trevino, and Dave Chappell air fresheners. 

Join the ladies of Smeared Mascara in saying adios to 2024!

Don’t forget to put ear muffs on the kiddies because as always, the language is inappropriate. You’re welcome. 

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It’s a double shot of Smeared Mascara!

Mandy is coming in HOT and Brooke is adding the lighter fluid to this inferno. Listen to the ladies talk about White Elephant gift exchange trauma, Christmas shopping, and holiday card conflict. Honorable mention to the Rage Poop discussion and Benny Blanco’s pedi game.

Brooke talks about how the new year will bring new skincare and clothes resulting in the fiercest glow up, and possible hoe up. (Mandy’s words, not Brooke’s)

Artificial tea is contaminating suburbia and these bitches are not about it. Spill with caution.

So turn down the yacht rock and turn up the pod. You’re about to be exposed to the tastemakers of the MTV generation. 

Language is realistic and harsh. You know what to do. Listen responsibly and enjoy Smeared Mascara!

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Join the ladies of Smeared Mascara as they discuss the latest in pop culture and their lives. They cover drones, Luigi Mangione, and High Body Count Hair.

The language in this episode will probably get Brooke and Mandy on the Naughty List, but they’re used to empty stockings. Please listen with caution, duh.

So ignore that tsunami warning and enjoy the latest episode of Smeared Mascara.

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It’s the most anticipated episode of the year. You’re invited to Mandy’s Shitty Birthday, Part 2. (Wondering about part one? Check out episode 10 of season 1.) There’s a chance that things may have improved from last year.  You be the judge.

Boundaries are being set around the Thanksgiving table this year, and lasagna is the new turkey. Pass the Tums.

Listen as the ladies work through a real-time anxiety attack. Let us know if box breathing or touching grass has ever helped you. Brooke is pushing back on natural remedies and is summoning chemical calm to the panic party. 

So pack your bags and grab your passports because these hoochies are headed to Mexico for some plastic surgery! Actually, Brooke and Mandy are still in the conceptual stages of forming these plans. Stay tuned.

As always, listen with caution in public spaces. You know why!

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