Smeared Mascara

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Join Brooke and Mandy as they discuss pop culture and yucky politics. You’ll hear a riveting conversation about the movie Anaconda, birthday parties, and the latest in this country’s fuckery 

So give us a listen if you need a break from reality. Sometimes all you can do is laugh when things are this bad. We really are a good time! For realsies!

Rated DFA for Dumpster Fire Awareness 

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Happy New Year from Smeared Mascara! Brooke and Mandy are entering 2026 in an organized and clear fashion. The ladies have some goals that are going to help them thrive in this new era of life. Listen as they share ideas that will hopefully inspire you to live a cuntier life.  Of course there are side conversations to hear, and duh, frankfurters are discussed… but would you expect anything else from these hot dawg queens??? 

So please hydrate and watch your sodium intake because Smeared Mascara is coming ‘atcha!

Rated NYSB for New Year Same Bitches

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Brrrr, it’s cold outside and you should be wearing a turtleneck. 

Listen up, homies! In this episode, the ladies of Smeared Mascara discuss a wide range of topics from obligatory gift exchanges to the power of a handsome face with a unibrow. 

Brooke tells us about the Diddy documentary and how 50 Cent’s pettiness is helping bring this story to the masses. Mandy shares a story about ear-hustling in the movie theater, and how she plans on putting in the minimum amount of effort for a White Elephant event. 

So dust off those IOU sweatshirts and Guess jeans, because the turtlenecks are coming out of retirement.

Rated SCDP for Seafood City Dance Party 

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It’s time for the latest installment of your favorite pop culture podcast, Smeared Mascara. In this episode you’ll hear about digital etiquette, baby shower games, and political garbage.

Brooke and Mandy will inform you of the latest on TikTok, Mormon Wives, and domestic conundrums. 

So make sure your JZ Hair extensions are fastened well because you’re about to embark on a wild ride! 

Rated FA for Fupa Awareness 

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Sorry for the delayed episode. The universe had Mandy in a figure four leg lock and it’s just now released. 

In this episode you’ll enjoy hearing about recent Bay Area earthquakes, ICE displaying icy behavior, and other pop culture/political moments amplified by socials. Did you hear about the baby formula social experiment? If not, Brooke’s got it covered for you. 

So sit back with your iced matcha horchata oatmilk latte and enjoy the latest from Smeared Mascara. 

Rated PTP for Pass the Pepto

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New month, same skanks. You know how we do it.

Brooke and Mandy talk about Halloween, the World Series (baseball, not poker), food insecurity, and meal planning.

Cats are always a hot topic.  Meow. 

Of course there’s more in this episode because when do we not interrupt each other and go off into random tangents? This is Smeared Mascara, baby.

Put on your leg warmers and get comfy. You’re about to enter your favorite podcast pleasure zone. Ewww, not really but you know what we mean. 

Rated TSDS for Talk Schitt Do Schitt

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Welcome back to your favorite pop culture podcast, Smeared Mascara. In this episode you’ll hear Brooke read Mandy’s astrological chart, and they will analyze in detail why they’re superior to their haters. Brooke tells us about her experience at the No Kings protest, and Mandy describes her digestive detour on a roadtrip.  

You will learn that a “healing haircut” is an actual thing, and you may question friendships after hearing Netflix recommendations. 

So open that spice drawer and add a heaping spoonful of Smeared Mascara! 

Rated SU for Sponsor Us

**Yes, we are accepting sponsors! Send us an email if you’re interested: [email protected]

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In this eagerly anticipated episode, you’ll hear the calming sound of raindrops in the background as Mandy and Brooke laugh through their tears. Real life is still in the crapper and there’s no Pepto in sight. 

The ladies discuss EMDR therapy and its benefits, but repeatedly call it by its club-kid name, EDMR. Perhaps ecstasy fueled raves were actually therapeutic environments after all. 

Shout outs to The Container Store and Seafood City which aren’t sponsors… yet. We’ll let you know when the ink dries on the deals. 

All this and so much more on the next episode of Smeared Mascara.

Rated RIPDK for Rest in Peace Diane Keaton

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Welcome back to the award winning pop culture podcast Smeared Mascara. This episode brings love, laughter and happily ever after because you’ve manifested this. 

Brooke tells us about an organization she’s joined that Garfield the Cat would be proud of, and shares her ongoing admiration of Caleb Heron. (Do YOU know the Cooper story?)

Mandy gives us the 411 on a local drag show, and shares how she keeps family estrangement going strong. 

Now is the time to schedule 24-48 hours for your mid-life rumspringa, or what Brooke and Mandy now call Hoe-Springa. Not sure if a Hoe-Springa is right for you? Take a listen and decide for yourself.

Rated SBC for Sound Baths & Cinnabons 

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In this highly anticipated episode of Smeared Mascara, you’ll hear Brooke and Mandy’s opinion on all things pop culture. Is Ricky Martin still living la vida loca? How far will MomTok go in Dancing with the Stars? You’ll have to listen to find out what these beezies think. 

Brooke tells us the latest in high school drama, and teen bedroom design. Mandy unapologetically brags about a karaoke performance, and the lack of video footage. 

Take one last sip of your pumpkin sporty spice latte and turn up your hearing aids. Your day is about to get better!

Rated HTTY (Hell To The Yes) 

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