Smeared Mascara

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New memory card, who dis?? It’s the award winning pop culture podcast, Smeared Mascara in the house!

Get ready to hear about how our neck of the woods has been pawpin’ awf. Grocery store karaoke, football game drama carrying over to In n Out… Are we describing this week’s popular social media posts? Nope, this is real life, hunties. It’s high school football season in suburbia and no one knows how to act anymore. 

Get ready to hear some opinions on the Catfish docuseries and Hunting Wives. There will be spoilers so proceed accordingly. 

You know that the language is raunchy. I mean, did you read the title of the episode?  Enjoy! 

Rated OMM for On My Mama 

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Welcome back, loyal listeners! The Smeared Mascara audio department is doing its best to give you the quality content you deserve.  La Presidente of the Pod aka B-Rock made the executive decision to destroy our overworked storage card after this episode.  Listen and you’ll understand. You’ll still hear our smart ass comments and our loud laughs through some choppy cuts. You’ll survive and be a stronger listener because of it. 

If you’d like to sponsor the pod, give us a holler. No, seriously… email us at [email protected] because we really don’t want to talk on the phone unless it’s urgent. You know how it is working in STEM. 

Episode is Rated GUHD. Pronounced “good” and stands for G’s Up H03s Down.

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The ladies of Smeared Mascara have once again created a pod-tastic masterpiece for your listening pleasure. Brooke recaps the Little League World Series, shitty Bay Area traffic, and haircut class woes. You may find yourself questioning thinning shears and their use. Mandy gushes over a newfound podcast, and has survived another brutal season of parenting.  The Hazel Cafe TikTok drama is brought up and console tables are getting a bad rap. 

Also, please give us some grace. The studio equipment has been struggling to keep up with our demands. You may hear some unusual noises in this edit. No need to alarm the authorities, but your girls are working on it.  

Rated YB for Yessss Bitch 

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Thank you for joining Brooke and Mandy in today’s very important discussion about retirement. The ladies of Smeared Mascara will guide you in making some of the most important choices that you will make in your adult life. 

Serious topics such as ideal home decor and poolside socialization opportunities are in today’s episode. Learn how to live your best retirement life while remaining true to your authentic hoe-self. There is a supplemental Pinterest board available to all listeners, as well as a sneak peek to the new radio station created specifically for retirement baddies. You won’t want to miss this incredible episode of Smeared Mascara! 

Rated OG for the 90s tv show references. 

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The ladies try something new this week by broadcasting live on TikTok. You’ll hear Brooke and Mandy professionally explain their origins story and expertly manage this new element of recording.

No… so for realsies you’ll hear these babes figuring out how TikTok Live works and telling their new viewers all about Charli XCX’s wedding among other topics.  Some highlights are Brooke sharing an unhinged traffic school story, and Mandy describing an encounter with a Seinfeld fan.  This episode is an adventure so buckle up, bitches! 

Language is foul and spicy, just how you like it. 

Enjoy the latest installment of the award winning podcast Smeared Mascara. 

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Step into the Smeared Mascara Time Machine and travel to the summers of the past. This week Brooke and Mandy talk about childhood, teen, and early adult summertime. Hear how these divas survived without air conditioning and smartphones. 

Language is spicy as always. If you’re surprised you must be new here. Welcome! 

It’s time to pause the VCR and take a pod break because Smeared Mascara starts NOW.

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This week Brooke and Mandy describe their Too Short concert experience. The vibe was chill and the ladies were loving it. (Check out the Smeared Mascara socials for dancing, rapping, and more from the show!)
The Bezos wedding is judged harshly from wardrobe choices to the guest list. Like Countess Luann sang, “Money can’t buy you class.” Luckily the people of Venice used their creativity to express their opinions on the event. Petty crafts are always welcome. 

All this plus Glastonbury, birthrights, and ethical quandaries! 

Language is vulgar and is intended for mature audiences. 

Rated PB for Petty Bitches

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The world is in shambles and you probably need to tune out from reality. Luckily Brooke and Mandy are here to help. 

The ladies of Smeared Mascara make fun of the political jerk-offs so you don’t have to. Relax while petty insults are thrown at RFK and his homies. KN is missing and there’s no trail of extensions to follow. This is a code Red, White & Blue.

Keep listening to hear Brooke’s encounter with complaining coastal tourists, and Mandy’s medical appointment turned judgement sesh. 

The ladies also remind listeners to continue protesting in the most annoying ways possible. Hint: megaphones and glitter are HIGHLY encouraged. 

It’s time to tear open a bag of sour gummy worms and enjoy the latest episode of Smeared Mascara!

Language is prim and proper like your mama. Just kidding! It’s Brooke and Mandy. You should know better by now.

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Welcome back to another installment of Smeared Mascara. This week Brooke and Mandy talk about the nationwide No Kings protests, grad parties, and Father’s Day. Mandy shares her support for Miley Cyrus, and Brooke reveals her true feelings about the Dodgers. Is this now a sporty spice and political podcast? Nope, it’s still the same shit talking pop culture podcast fueled by undiagnosed ADHD. 

Language is filthy as always.  You should probably listen in the car alone or with your “cool” friends. 

Rated OMGWTF because that’s reality. Duh.

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This episode the ladies discuss life’s general fuckery. Topics range from protests to sphincters. Brooke introduces us to her new Dyson, and Mandy recounts her trip to SoCal. There is a brief Diddy trial update, and some major Mario Lopez hateration. 

So buckle up and get ready for this raunchy ride of podcast amazingness. 

As always, the language is foul. Plan accordingly.

Rated FY for Fuck Yeah 

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