So That Happened!!!

A Walk To Remember (2002)

This week we take on our first Nicholas Sparks movie, and it isn’t The Notebook.

Listen to Mamba nearly pass out from rolling her eyes so hard.

Bill reveals more of his soft gooey center.

And we all revel in the wonders of this “Cornerstone” classic, centered on a coming of age teenage romance that just HAPPENS to be fraught with the complications of The Big C.

Bitchin’ Camaros, token black friends, piles of water, and big ass telescopes…Listen to us make fun of one of Bill’s favorite movies!

A Walk To Remember stars Mandy Moore, Shane West, Peter Coyote, and Daryl Hannah and was directed by Adam Shankman.

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Dirty Dancing (1987)

“I’ve….had….the time of my life!”

Smayze comes to an end with the Swayziest movie to ever Swayze, “Dirty Dancing”.

In this episode we learn more about Mamba’s childhood, find out what Bill’s mom thought about his band and hear Erin recount dancing montage #2 all while Swan tries to keep us all on track while making a lot of “dirty” jokes.

The story of Baby and why she shouldn’t be put in the corner is one for the ages and we do it justice in this laugh filled podcast, you should listen to it (and then you should tell your friends to listen to it too).

Dirty Dancing stars Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze, Jerry Orbach, and Cynthia Rhodes and was directed by Emile Ardolino.

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Road House (1989)

In 1989 a movie throat-chopped its way into the hearts of America and it hasn’t let go.

P-Swayze is a famous bouncer tasked with cleaning up a bar called The Double Deuce.

Dalton rolls into town, lays down his rules and is nice until it’s time to not be nice which angers the rich guy in town.  It’s basically an 80’s fest of fightin’, hair, butts and Patrick Swayze so we love it.

*Also, Erin screwed up Robert Durst’s name twice.  She didn’t mean Fred or Richard Durst (whoever that is), she meant Robert dammit.

Road House stars Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott, and Ben Gazzara and was directed by Rowdy Herrington.

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Donnie Darko (2001)

This week we wrap our gourds around a totally mindblowing drama, sci-fi, character study mystery thing.

No-not really, we make fun of Donnie Darko while still being entertained by everything that wasn’t Donnie.

First we harass Bill, then we get to talking about multiple universes, what characters we find interesting and how there isn’t enough serious Swayze in this.

It’s a fun episode but kind of hard to follow because it is just sooooo mindblowing you know?  Holy tangential  wormholes!

Donnie Darko stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Holmes Osborne, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Daveigh Chase and was directed by Richard Kelly.

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Youngblood (1986)

Smayze skates on with this hockey movie that needs more Swayze!

Rob Lowe (who for once we can all agree on) is hockey player Dean Youngblood who is in a minor league and needs to learn how to fight to move up….or something.

Basically this is Ice Castles if it was about men playing hockey but no one goes blind.

It needed more Swayze and less moping around the farm, but at least the farm and Youngblood’s brother give us a great line that some of us will treasure forever.

Also, butts. Glorious butts.

Youngblood stars Rob Lowe, Cynthia Gibb, and Patrick Swayze, and was directed by Peter Markle.

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To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)

This week we continue our month of Swayze with the fun drag queen comedy To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.

This is a movie that taught us to always take advantage of a “Say something hat day” and to sprinkle a little fabulosity everywhere we go (or something).

Despite being about drag queens (are you clutching your pearls yet?), there wasn’t anything too ground breaking in this movie. It’s still fun to watch, if only to stare at the bright colors and see Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze and John Leguizamo in drag.

Sit back, relax, put us into your ears and just let it happen. Let it happen…

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar stars Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo, and Stockard Channing and was directed by Beeban Kidron.

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Ghost (1990)

We are kicking off Smayze early with the all sorts of emotionally confusing (Romance? Suspense? Drama? Comedy?) Ghost from 1990.

Patrick Swayze aka P-Swayze is murdered in a robbery while his girlfriend, Demi Moore, stands around and yells into an empty alley.

P-Swayze befriends psychic Whoopi Goldberg to avenge his death and save his special lady friend from Tony Goldwyn – who has been snorting waaaaay too much cocaine.

Special moments from the gang include sad sound effects from Hooch, ghosts & gravity/physics and Satan’s smoke monsters with cartoon eyes taking the evil dead people to hell.

Ghost stars Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, and Tony Goldwyn and was directed by Jerry Zucker.

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The Stepford Wives (2004)

We put on our daintiest of podcasting dresses and take the curlers out of our hair for this episode about the Stepford Wives remake.  The Stepford Wives stars the beautiful Nicole Kidman with an unflattering hair cut, Matthew Broderick there for the paycheck, Bette Midler doing her Bette Midler thing and a scenery chewing Glenn Close who is trying to save this movie by ACTING!

This 2004 bomb would have been better if it made up its mind about whether it was a comedy or a horror movie but instead it tries to be both and fails miserably.

We try to piece together the mystery of exactly how these Stepbots work because the movie tells us one thing and then shows us another.  After we give up on making it make sense, we get on the subject of Benji and uncover a few TV specials that time forgot.

The Stepford Wives stars Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, and Glenn Close, and was directed by Frank Oz.

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Cool World (1992)

This 1992 half cartoon film stars Kim Basinger, Brad Pitt and Gabriel Byrne.  It’s a mystery and a miracle the Brad Pitt had a successful career after this crappy (or sexy to some people) version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Brad Pitt returns from war and immediately his life is ruined when he kills his mother in a motorcycle accident and then gets sucked into Cool World; which is actually really lame.

Pitt becomes a cop in Cool World, whose only responsibility is to make sure that humans don’t have sex with cartoons.  Kim Basinger is a cartoon that wants to be real and have sex with Gabriel Byrne (a just released convicted murder and cartoon artist who believes he created Cool World).

Shit goes awry and the worlds start to melt together. Nothing in this movie makes sense.  The animation is terrible in every way, and you should never watch this movie.  We did it for you!

Cool World stars Kim Basinger, Gabriel Byrne, and Brad Pitt, and was directed by Ralph Bakshi.

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Sex and the City 2 (2010)

We all know what happens in this movie, what should be a few episodes gets turned into a movie and turned up to 11.

Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha go to Abu Dhabi to be culturally insensitive and forget almost everything they’ve ever shown us about their characters ever.

We discuss all the obvious things and the not-so-obvious things that we found funny or annoying.  Swan unleashes a rant, Bill has some observations about the Liza Minnelli impersonators and Erin takes a stand about which SATC boyfriend was the best.

If you’ve got comments, questions or repressed Sex and The City rants of your own, feel free to leave a reply below!

Sex and The City 2 stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, and Kim Cattrall, and was directed by Michael Patrick King

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