Social Skills Coaching

From Buddhism to Stoicism, Confucius and Aristotle - Bite-Sized Wisdom From Some of History’s Greatest Thinkers

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Many of us will inevitably fall prey to ego orientation, which is when we are overly focused on comparisons, outside perceptions, and ultimately what others think about us regarding the performance of a task. Obviously, this is not about the task itself, and lends itself to procrastination because in the end, you’d rather not risk embarrassment or judgment. And so you don’t move; you are running to stand still. We should instead shift our focus and goals to task orientation, which is the performance of the act itself. It sounds simplistic, but the obstacle is that we are all wired to emotionally protect ourselves, and we will do this subconsciously. You may indeed be acting (or not acting) out of ego orientation, or another type of psychological defense mechanism.

Sometimes we don’t take action because we don’t know how to focus our energy, but other times, we remain stagnant out of fear or avoidance.

#egoorientation #task #goals #motivation #focus #employee

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Many great ideas go unexecuted, and many great executioners are without ideas. One without the other is worthless. - Tim Blixseth

You may not have realized how deeply it has seeped into your daily behaviors and habits, and now this avoidance of action is holding you back from the rest of your life.

For most of us, procrastination is the big obstacle to getting into motion.

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 #tasks #ability #procrastination #cortex #brain #emotions

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It should be clear why these methods of focusing are successful at battling your short attention span.

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Author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, known for the book Flow, calls this general approach for environment changing one’s activation energy—the less activation energy required to make good decisions and take action, the better. And by contrast, the higher the activation energy for staying in inaction, the better. Activation energy can also be seen as the overall amount of effort people are willing to spend. Make the conscious choice to make action more immediately accessible, and action has a better chance.

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Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but don't quit. - Conrad Hilton

This is the chapter that assumes you can now occasionally kick your butt into action. You can achieve blastoff sometimes—perhaps not consistently, but you can do it when you put your mind to it. Obviously, this is something we want to improve upon.

How can you make it easier to always spring into action when you want? This is the concept of momentum—when you can create less resistance to your first step and make your second and third steps flow easily thereafter. Momentum doesn’t necessarily depend on your mindset or thoughts. It actually hinges more upon your environment, your planning, and the ways that you set yourself up for success or failure. It’s how you are able to make the right choice time after time. Willpower and self-discipline won’t always get you there,but you can design your life to create and maximize momentum.

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One matters, while the other only appears to because it may have more time constraints. But urgency by itself doesn’t denote any kind of priority. To master the difference, try using the Eisenhower Matrix to divide your tasks into four separate categories; you’ll find that much less matters than you previously thought. It is similar to the don’t-do list because it can create clarity on what you are wasting your time on.

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The fixed mindset says that intelligence, talent, ability, and performance are all firmly determined from cradle to grave—they can’t change or grow. You are what you are, and if you don’t have something by now, you’ll never have it.

This leads to a whole lot of roadblocks in the process itself, because what’s the purpose in trying if you don’t think you have it in you?

The growth mindset is fundamentally different because it assumes change and growth are possible. Whatever and wherever you are right now is just a starting place from which to develop and improve. In this approach, nothing is impossible because it takes the position that learning and growth are always rewarded in some way.

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Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

We’ve talked about the various ways that you can be galvanized into action. This chapter focuses on the mindsets regarding action—your perspective and overall view about motion versus stillness.

Our actions depend wholly on our thoughts, and no matter how much we incentivize ourselves, if we can’t change the way we think about action, we’re doomed. For instance, one common concept is the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset.

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Consuming information is almost always seen as a net positive. It’s what we believe underlies being educated and intelligent, and reading in particular is seen as superior to more passive forms of media consumption.  The point is that it’s easy to feel like we’re being productive by reading, when all we’re actually doing is wasting time in a slightly more intellectual way than binge-watching Game of Thrones.

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