Sorry, I'm Sad

Over the course of the next two episodes you’ll hear two very different stories about two very different lives. 70-year-old Laurel and 36-year-old Jessie had no connection in life, but they both had progressive, incurable diseases that steadily robbed them of independence and quality of life. 

They both also lived in Calgary, and that meant they had access to Alberta Health Care’s Medical Assistance in Dying program, also known as MAiD. Both women, whose lives traveled such different arcs, chose to use MAID.

 Today you’ll hear Ryan Leslie tell his mom’s story. Ryan is an on-air NHL host for Sportsnet and on Hockey Night in Canada. His mom, Laurel, who had the chronic lung disease COPD, died in September 2021. Going through the experience of MAID left an indelible impact on Ryan, Laurel’s only child.

 Then, in two weeks, Heather Lucier talks about her daughter, Jessie Ravnsborg, who died in November 2019 at the much-too-young age of 36. Heather’s story is, of course, different than Ryan’s. Jessie’s death was out of order. Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. About 18 months before Jessie died, she was diagnosed with ALS. As is so often the case for ALS patients, Jessie’s deterioration was swift. So, too, was her decision to wring all the love and goodness out of the days she had left and, then, when her quality of life diminished beyond the point when moments of happiness could pierce through the darkness of her disease, she would use MAID.

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In 2018, Dr. Richi Gill and his wife Raman were living the life they had worked so far for -- after the gruelling years of starting a family during Richi's surgical residency, the Gills were back in their hometown of Calgary surrounded by their friends and family and Richi was living out his dream as a successful bariatric surgeon. Their three children, Saava, Akaash and Arwyn, were 8, 6, and 5 years old. It was a beautiful, happy life.  

Then, on Valetine's Day that year, Richi suffered a catastrophic spinal cord injury while boogie boarding in shallow water during a family vacation in Hawaii, leaving him paralyzed from the chest down and with only minimal use of his hands. 

Last week, Raman shared her perspective on Richi's accident. This week, Richi talks about his injury and how the Gills have settled into this new life -- one they didn't expect, one they of course wish was different, but one that is still so very beautiful and happy.  

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By 2018, Dr. Richi Gill and his wife Raman were living the life they had worked so far for -- after the gruelling years of starting a family during Richi's surgical residency, the Gills were back in their hometown of Calgary surrounded by their friends and family and Richi was living out his dream as a successful bariatric surgeon. Their three children, Saava, Akaash and Arwyn, were 8, 6, and 5 years old. It was a beautiful, happy life.  

Then, on Valetine's Day that year, Richi suffered a catastrophic spinal cord injury while boogie boarding in shallow water during a family vacation in Hawaii, leaving him paralyzed from the chest down and with only minimal use of his hands. 

In this two part series, Raman and Richi offer their perspective on Richi's accident, his injury and how they have settled into this new life -- one they didn't expect, one they of course wish was different, but one that is still so very beautiful and happy.  

This week: Raman's story.
Next week: Richi's story.

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In 2017 Jeff and Jill Quigley had two little boys and were excited to add a third child to their family, but at Jill's 18-week ultrasound  everything came undone. Baby Aria had cardiomyopathy -- a heart incompatible with life. For the first time in their marriage, Jeff and Jill had to navigate grief together, and they had to help their 4- and 6-year old sons understand what was happening as well.

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On a sunny day in August 2005, Nicky Elson, along with her parents and a friend, decided to float down  the Bow River, a quintessential summertime activity for Calgarians and one that changed the Elson family forever. Nicky and Kelsie talk about the trauma of that day and about the grief and heartache that followed. 

Trigger warning: this episode contains conversation about drowning. 

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On their 14th wedding anniversary, Chris and Kelsie talk about how Chris' ALS has impacted their marriage, how they communicate, how they parent, as well as the different ways they process and deal with their sadness and grief.

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When Sheldon Kennedy was just 14 years old his hockey coach began sexually abusing him. Terrified, ashamed and certain nobody would be believe him, Sheldon kept the abuse a secret. It continued for five years. Years later, as an adult by then years removed from the actual abuse but still reeling and utterly broken from it, Sheldon finally opened up about what happened to him and, by sharing his story, started the long and winding road to healing.

Sheldon joins Kelsie for a conversation about his story, about how he has devoted his life's work to the cause of raising awareness and educating people about sexual abuse, harassment, bullying and discrimination of all types, about being a voice that people turn to and about affecting tangible and lasting change in this space. He talks about what it has been like to watch former Chicago Blackhawks prospect Kyle Beach go public with his own story of sexual abuse in the hockey world, about where hope his lies and about recovery.

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Cookbook author, journalist and radio personality Julie Van Rosendaal, founder of the wildly popular food blog Dinner With Julie, joins Kelsie for a conversation about how food impacts our relationships with others and with ourselves. Julie shares her experience growing up, as she puts it, a size that was not socially acceptable and speaks about her evolution with hunger, cravings and her own body image. She also talks about how people treated her differently after she lost 165 pounds two decades ago and about how she has made peace with her love of food and her love of self. 

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Meet Drew Robinson, a 29-year-old who lives in his hometown of Las Vegas, Nevada, loves his dogs, has an infectious smile and was drafted out of high school in the fourth round by Major League Baseball’s Texas Rangers. Drew spent more than a decade playing professional baseball, including about a year total in the big leagues. His first hit in the majors was a home run. He is a goofball with his friends and is close with his family. He’s handsome and athletic and young and seems to have it all. But, as is the case almost always in life, things are not what they seem on the surface. 

What you can’t see while listening to this conversation is the physical reminder of the worst day of Drew’s life, the day his life almost, should have, ended. 

Drew is missing his right eye as a result of injuries from a suicide attempt on April 16, 2020. 

This is a story about that day, yes, but it is also about the totality of Drew’s life, about what led to that day and about all that has come after. It’s about thinking you have nothing to live for and then, by some miracle, surviving and realizing how wrong you were. It’s about having the hard conversations, about asking for help and about making it your actual job to encourage others to do the same. 

This conversation contains details about Drew’s suicide attempt and about suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you love is struggling with these things, please reach out for help. In Canada, call 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645. In the US, call 1-800-273-8255.  

If you value this podcast and would like to support it, you can go to www.patreon.com/kelsiesnow to become a member.

More:
Jeff Passan's story about Drew & E60 Trailer

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Not long after the COVID-19 pandemic began, award-winning journalist and former Esquire magazine staff writer Chris Jones started telling Friday afternoon stories on his Twitter account, @enswelljones. Because of his time profiling celebrities for Esquire and because Jones is the kind of guy who often finds himself in hilariously embarrassing situations, many of the stories went viral (one was read 8 million times and another 10 million). The stories were exactly what people were looking for, offering levity and laughter during a dark and heavy time, and that was purposeful. Jones is no stranger to darkness, and with his Friday afternoon stories he set out to offer some light. 

In this wide-ranging conversation about life, luck, mental health and what happens when the narratives we have in place for our lives crumble around us, Jones shares how his mid-life career change and divorce, along with anxiety, depression and bouts of suicidal ideation, have shaped who he is today -- a guy from Port Hope, Ontario, who wants to make the world just a little bit better. 

Some links to things talked about in this episode: Esquire story Chris Jones wrote about Kelsie's Chris in 2007, Pete Simon Twitter story, George Clooney Twitter story, peeing on a guy Twitter story, Ricky Williams Twitter story.

A warning: this episode contains conversations about suicide and suicidal thoughts. 

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