Static Radio

Bob avoids being violated at the Japanese Steak House, while Miles' uncle tries to pave the way to Valhalla for a teenage Miles.

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Best Podcast Guest Leanne Linsky

Leanne Linsky is an absolute dream podcast guest! Her insightful and engaging answers captivate any audience, and her ability to articulate complex ideas is truly remarkable. Plus, having her share details about her website, plauzzable.com, would offer listeners a fantastic and valuable resource. She’s a guest who brings brilliant content and genuine enthusiasm to every conversation.

Plauzzable.com

https://youtube.com/live/ukGl4n5cTUY

Bad AI Transcript

We'll fix it in post. Hey, everybody. This is Bob, and I'm joined with… Me, Leanne Linsky. Leanne Linsky from plausible.com. Of course. I thought you were going to say we're joined at the hip or something. No, no. Like Siamese cats. We're joined at the noggin here today to talk about all this kind of stuff. But we're going to talk about being… The Best Guest, which is really hard to say. After I wrote it, I thought this is a really good title. And now that I'm saying it, I'm rethinking all of this. Best Guest is really, it's almost a tongue twister just in the two words. It is. Best Guest. Best Guest. It's almost like Best Guest. Yeah. I want to break out into song and be our guest. But it's not about that. It's about being the best guest.So I just happened to notice recently, I'm like, gosh, Leanne's on a lot of other shows talking about stuff. And I go, you know what? I bet she knows what it takes to be the best guest. Yes, because not only have I been on a lot of shows, you've been on a lot of shows and we seem to follow each other. If you're on a podcast, I'm like, I got to get on that podcast. We're just copying each other's moves. Therefore, I think we're both the best guests. Oh, well, hey, that's awful sweet. Yeah. Did I mention how sweet Leanne Linsky is? You know, she's from the suburbs of Chicago in what, Waukegan? Yes, in Waukegan. Yeah, from Waukegan. So one day you can stop by her childhood home and take a tour. Yeah. Good luck. But not today. Don't do it today. That's a whole nother episode. So…I guess, well, the idea of being a guest on these shows is to obviously to see what they're doing, but to tell them what you're doing. Yes. Yes. And actually have a conversation. Yeah. Exactly. A conversational thing. So did you, how long, well, first of all, how long have you been being the best guest or even a guest for that matter? Well, I feel like I've been guesting- most of my life on everything. But being the best guest, ever since people were like, be the best you, be the most authentic you. I don't know how else I would be, but yeah, I think especially since signing up for Podmatch. Okay, so Podmatch was the impetus for your journey would be Podmatch. I think that was my…my, my moment of when I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be a guest. And then that happened. And I just, you just saw it and you're like, you know what? I could be one of them. I could be a guest. That's, that seems doable to me. That seems a realistic goal is to be a guest. And then because they have where the leaderboard is, of how you rank as a guest, you know, I'm like, I have to be in the top 10. That's tough. I did it though. My first few months on there. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't really. Yeah. I gave up real early. I'm like, there's no way. I'm like, I don't need to be the best. Yeah. I don't need to be on the leaderboard. I always, every time, maybe it's just the pessimist in me, but I always think those leaderboards are rigged.Every time I'm like, why, what is this? Who are these people? I'd never even heard of them. And they're on top of the leaderboard. I actually think that one's pretty accurate. You think so? I do. And the reason is, is because I, I looked, I was like, who are these top performers and what are they doing? And they're so like, when I looked at who the top hosts are and everything, those, those hosts are actually, they're, they're booking people to, daily and they're releasing episodes like they're doing a lot so i believe that is a pretty legit leaderboard also i was on it so all it validates my it validates everything i think about myself it's obviously this this sounds like a trump answer it's obviously real because i was on it they the the infamous they put me on the leaderboard they put me on the leaderboard yeah yeahOh, interesting. Now, I hadn't even thought about that. To be honest with you, I did look at the leaderboard for a little while, but yeah, I was not in hopes of being on it just because I don't… I'm not a guest as much as you are, apparently, even though we seem to be following each other. Well, it's also… So we look at how they rank it, and this ties kind of into our conversation of being the best. And I think it's like… the time it takes to response to someone's messages when they're trying to book you. So that plays into it. If you've taken. Yeah. So the so the sooner you respond to people like your your their wait time is shortened. So I think that's a benefit. And I think that's important as being a guest is responding to emails in a reasonable amount of time. I mean, it doesn't have to be that second, you know, because if you're in the midst of doing something else like someone else's podcast, you should not be multitasking.But I think within a day is a reasonable amount of time, maybe two business days. And then the other, because then you're, you're not leaving someone hanging, you know, if they're asking a conversation. But what I really like is everything is pretty automated. So, you know, being a good guest is providing the host with the information they've requested completely like read, read what they need in order to make it a good guesting experience, if you will, so that they can be fully prepared. And I think that also being a good guest requires, like I spend a little bit of time, I research who my host is. I click on the links and like, what are they doing on social media? What are they typically talking about? Listen to a couple episodes of their podcast. So I know the tone and what kind of guests they're looking for. And I usually do that.before I even apply to be a guest on a podcast or submit myself, like, is this a good fit for me? Because if it's about fixing cars, they probably don't want me as a guest and their listeners probably don't really want to hear from me. Cause I have been on so many real estate podcasts and I didn't know what to say. Cause I don't know anything about real estate. Have you really? No, no. I was like, that's amazing. I feel like I do the exact opposite of what you do. I always get on there and I go, what's your name again? Who are you? What are we doing? Why did you call me? Why did you ring me up on this thing? I had this on my calendar. I don't remember anything about it. See, I feel bad now. You are the best guest. Goodness gracious. I'm like, you know, I say, oh, look, it says…They want somebody who's humorous. Okay, I'll go there and I'll try to do something. Well, it's funny. I listen to, sometimes I listen to other people on someone's podcast, like they'll share. And I'm like, clearly the person's not even listening to the host. Like the host, it's like has a list, like has been very prepared. Like you can tell when a host is like, anyway, back to the regularly scheduled programming. And the person's like, welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm going off on a tangent, you know? So I try to pay attention. Like, does this, like, what's the host format? Like, so I'm not like overrunning their show. Oh my God. I really need to pay attention here. I, this is what I do. I do it every time. I'm like, let's talk about Katy Perry going to space. Like, this is not about that, Bob, your knucklehead. Yeah.We're the anti-Amazon podcast. What the hell are we talking about that for? No, but that's interesting, though. But you obviously put a lot of thought into this. I do. Maybe I'm weird. My husband says I'm weird. No, no. I think you're probably better off for it. Yeah. Well, it's like, you know, why are we doing this? Like, I have other things I could be doing. Binge watching Netflix. Yeah. eating Doritos, I don't know, but- Oh my gosh, you mentioned that was my whole lunch today. Was it really? Yeah, I watched Netflix and ate Doritos. What did you watch on Netflix? I Think You Should Leave. That was the name of the show. Okay, I'm out, bye. I don't know what that's about. It's a sketch comedy show. I think it's older. I think it's a few years old, but I just heard about it and I thought, oh, I'll check out an episode.I should watch that. Yeah, it's kind of funny. But I did eat Doritos, which I just thought, wow, how could she even know this? I thought I was going to have to go look for people in the woods out behind my house now. Well, first of all, yes, you do have to go look for people in the woods behind your house because what are they doing there? Also, I don't know. I don't even eat Doritos. Doritos aren't even on my radar anymore. at this age. Yeah. Good for you. I had a half a bag, I think. Did you wash your hands or did you just like wipe them off on your… I found a convenient animal in my house and just wiped my hands on them. Oh, very good. That's good. And then they can just lick it for later. Then they'll have it later, right? It's a whole pyramid we got going here. That's a food chain. It's a food chain, yeah. Just whoop.I'm like, come here, you know, whistle. And they come over and I just wipe my hands on them. And then later they'll lay down and lick it all off. So with no waste, it's almost like we're living, you know, back on the land here. It's very sustainable. Very sustainable. Yeah. That orange dust can't waste it. So, so how many shows do you think you've guessed it on? Would you, if you had to take a, you know, estimate of what that would be? Yeah. well i know because it counts them on that particular okay so you don't you pretty much just do pod match you don't do any of the other well i do some of the outside so i want

Miles is late but can stop for pizza, while Bob witnesses an anti-vegetarian out in public.

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You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, put your left foot in, then you shake it all about. You do the Miles Pokey. Mind yourself in jail. That's what it's all about. Tape Gerardo. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Stakes. This is Bob. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Hey, everybody. This is Miles. I'm Mr. Movie Mogul here. Miles Title. I'm scouting new talent. Always. Exactly. I'm always scouting new talents. Watch out. You may be the next talent I scout. Scouting a lot of new talent on TikTok. Yeah, I was going to say OnlyFans. I'm looking for the best what t-shirt, girl. In the world. I found her. Oh, no, it's my reflection. Oh, no. Yeah. I'm at the 7-Eleven scouting young ladies to be on my new calendar because everybody needs a paper calendar. Yeah. Hey, Miles, how are you doing tonight? Other than, you know, the usual.Mm-hmm. What are you eating or something? Yeah, I'm hungry. What are you eating? I'm eating a piece of pizza. Oh, Christ. I'm hungry. What kind of cheap-ass pizza do you have tonight? Oh, I think you know. Oh, Domino. Nope. Oh, Casey's? Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. Casey's is like, I think they make it with motor oil. Yeah, pretty much. It is a gas station, but as you know. We're all out of canola oil. Can I just use motor oil in this pizza? Sure. Sure. Only use the 10W30. 10W40 is too thick. Oh, my God. Did you get a slice or did you get a whole pizza? No, it's nice. What am I, some, what am I, Jabba the Hutt? You want to get a whole pizza at 9 o'clock? Well, I don't know if you're sharing it with people or I don't know what's going on. It's always a party at your house, for Christ's sake. You got strangers coming over. You got, you know. No. Your wife's got all these friends and hangers on. It's like. No. Yeah. No. Married a band of pranksters.And we'll go with that, I guess. So wait a minute. So we normally talk before the show a little bit. Yeah. I was going to be late, and then you were going to be late because of other things. I ran home, and you stopped to get a slice of pizza. Right. You're like, I'm going to be a little bit late because I… They're like, why? Well… this movie ran long. I, and then I, no, I, I stopped for pizza and I filled up my car and I changed my oil. So you really weren't late. You're just, you're just, you know, yourself and, and you know, me first, me first. It's kind of a gray area there. You know what I'm saying? I don't. Yeah. I took the best shit of my life at the case. Yeah.Not yet. I'm hoping. I was like, man, oh, man. This pizza really takes it right out of me. I took one bite and everything just slid right out my ass. My ass. You know? I mean, that's what it sounds like. I was hungry. I'm sorry. All I had was popcorn, man. Didn't you have any dinner? I did, but I mean, that was like three hours ago. Wow, that was, heck, I have to eat every 15 minutes or else I get problems. I like to fill up my colostomy. That's right. I got a bunch of free bags. I'm trying to go through all of them like I win a prize. What, what, what, what, what? Remember the old camel cash? Now they got colostomy cash, and I'm going to win. I'm going to get a jacket, leather jacket. I had a friend who I actually used to live with him. He smoked, and I used to get so much free stuff from his camel cash. Yeah. Yeah. He stopped smoking. Thank goodness for him. But for a while, I get all these trinkets. He'd be like, hey, what do you want? I got all this camel cash, man.I'll have your Benoit beads. All right. I'll have them. I don't care. No, I needed to buy. I would drink all of his soda. He'd be all mad at me. Oh, great. That's your big K addiction. He bought actual Coca-Cola. Oh, you're tight ass. He was rich compared to me. I'm like, real Coca-Cola? Yeah. It's probably like you, you probably stole it from work, you know, just like you, you're like, Oh yeah, I stole it. You want an American flag? Every day in the break room, there's just soda for the taking. I've heard of guys that worked at KFC back in the day where like, they'd make like all this extra chicken and put it in the buckets and throw it in a snow drift. Oh yeah. And then after work, they just like pick up all this chicken and stuff. We used to do that at McDonald's. I worked at McDonald's and, uh,On the weekends, you'd make a bunch of food that would, at the end of the night, and then it's all going to get thrown away. So you count it and put it on the log, but then you would just bag it all up and take it to a party. Why not? Who cares? We would have literally a giant bag of French fries. The biggest bag you could get at McDonald's is just full of French fries. I think my brother and his friends stole a lot of those pull-off tab things. free food stuff. Oh yeah. Oh gosh. Yes. Because he worked there for a little while. Yeah. McDonald's is great. Now, uh, my, my friend who smoked the camel cash, he worked at burger King. Yeah. And, uh, him and another guy that worked there pulled up a heist where they stole a whole box full of hamburgers. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's a heist. That was a big heist.I never did that. I would, you know, have extra food, but I didn't do the whole, whole, I mean, a whole box of hamburgers is like, shit, there's probably a hundred hamburgers in there. Swear to God. I just walk around in the back room with my whitey tighties. I did wash my clothes while I was there. And then I get a little indecent in the bathroom with the, you know, those are two separate incidents. Thank you. So, speaking of pizza, it was yesterday. Yeah, yesterday I went and I got some of my favorite pizza. It's not super close to my house. I have to drive a ways to get it. Sbarro. Yeah, we got some Sbarro. And so I go… My wife drove me because she drives much faster than I do. I know she does. My job was to go get the pizza and bring it back out to the car. Her job was to get us back as fast as possible. I go in to get the pizza. We're a little off time, a little early. I go in and there's thispoor disabled guy at the counter. Yeah. And I mean, he's, he's obviously, uh, disabled because he's, he's, you know, he's got, uh, cerebral palsy or something, but he's still walking. He's not in a wheelchair or anything. And he's, he's there with, I believe was his mother. So this is guys probably in his forties maybe. Sure. And his mom is like in his seventies or something. Yeah. And, uh, They're ahead of me, and they're trying to place their order. Sure. And so she's like, you know, honey, what do you want? And he's like, I want the lasagna. Yeah. She's like, okay, are you sure? Yeah. Okay. So she gets him squared away, and he's just standing there. And his mom's like, well, you know, trying to decide what she wants to get. Yeah.and they have this really great salad bar there, but we, I was getting pizza to go. Sure. But anyway, so she's like, well, you know, how much is the salad or some question or whatever? And the lady like tells her, you know what it is. Okay. I think I'll have a salad. I don't want a salad. She's like, honey, no, I'm getting a salad. I don't want a salad. she's like no no i'm i'm getting a salad i'm trying to tell you i don't want a salad you know i didn't want to laugh at this uh Because I didn't like the setup, the way it was going. I'm just being honest. I'm not making fun of the guy. No, I know. But I really thought, I'm not going to laugh at this. It's not funny. I'm not going to laugh. Even the lady behind the counter is like, no, the salad's for her. I don't want a salad. Then you butt in. Sure you do. No, no. I'm a very patient person. You know what I mean?Are you laughing? Like, no, I was like, I was like, I just, I'm just here to pick up some pizza, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, I'm picking up a salad as well, but you can stick that salad. I don't want a salad. She's like, no, it's for me. It's for me. He goes, I know, but I don't want a salad. And this goes off like five. I am at this point. I am getting angry. Who's on first? I want to step up there. I'm like, buddy, you're not getting a salad. I don't even care if you want a salad. You're never getting a salad. And then my wife, Jackie Stewart's out in the car revving the engine, honking the horn. Where the fuck are you with my pizza? Yeah, so…So I finally, he finally relents. I don't know if he ever understood it, but he finally relents. And I guess he just was, you know, I guess I'm going to have a salad. Yeah. You know, I don't know what was going on in his mind, but yeah, he, uh, and so I get up there and I get my, uh, pizzas and then I go, yeah, don't forget. I have a salad. Just, just for the, uh, just for the lady behind the counter. You know, it was like, if this guy was, you know, physically capable, I think he would have been like choking somebody. He was so angry about the salad. Your wife walks in, she goes, I don't want a fucking salad. That's right. It's not for you for. So, yeah. So it was just like, you know, I'm like, this is bizarre. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Uh,And normally, I mean, you know, there's always this is a it's a family place. It's not a big chain or anything. It's not. Yeah. Yeah. You know, this is like there's not a bunch of them or anything like that. And so I'm very patient because there's a lot of old people that go to this, you know, myself included, because it's good. It's not cheap. It's not Casey's cheap. I can tell you that. But right. Oh, sure. It's really good. And the salad's not so bad either. Well, I don't know. I don't think it's any good. Yeah. Apparently. Apparently. Not everyone's a fan. Yeah. Big salad fan. Salad bar fan. I love the salad. I'll tell you why I love that. We didn't eat it. We took it home....

Overtoun Bridge

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Mike Boody

Mike Boody shares the origins of his podcast name, the Midnight Citizen and his substack "Mike's Bonfire," and expresses confusion over multiple branding efforts, highlighting the anxiety surrounding content creation.

The conversation shifts to the impact of AI on education, content creation, and the ethical dilemmas surrounding its use in writing and research.

They reflect on the challenges of monetizing content while staying true to creative principles, considering alternative funding models like microtransactions and the potential of platforms like Substack.

The Midnight Citizen

Mike's Bonfire

https://youtube.com/live/-SkjPOfe0uE

Bad AI Transcript

hey everybody, this is Bob, and i'm talking to mike Booty, your midnight Citizen. uh also also that's up already, Mike's Bonfire, which i think is a very inspired name, actually. I love the, you know, whenever i saw that, I was like that's that is darn interesting. I don't know why, I mean, why wouldn't no i mean, but i'm like, yeah, I can see that. No, having some knowledge of you and your style. Definitely. Yeah. It's fitting. What do you think? Where'd you come up? Why'd you come up with that? Well, I'm going to preface it with like saying that all branding is probably about to change because I've been doing the podcast. Like I've had that name now for 15 years and I did a show recently where I gave some, I gave it, I gave the origin of it. And I think like I'm, I'm,I've moved past it. I'm sort of ready to try something else out, um, to, to try a, so you'll be the podcast formerly known as the midnight. Yeah, no, I'm thinking of like just doing a little symbol and, uh, all that and coming up with a very specific name to pronounce the symbol, like duck sound or something. But, um, but yeah, and, and I, and Mike's bonfire was created completely separate of the podcast. It was a place to, um, like a sub stack that I created to do more writing and all that. But I have not done much writing consistently at all over there. So it's just become the podcast. And so now, now I feel like it's just confusing to people that I got to go to Mike's bonfire. And then I watched the midnight citizen and like, what else, like what else, what other kind of branding is he going to throw at me? So one of those things that I constantly feel anxiety about is just like having, you know, everything is just so, um,different and uh and i and i do think about static radio kind of constantly because you guys have why same name since you've had the same name since 1999 yeah and i wish i wish i would have changed it it's a fantastic name and i know and it's like i've i've gotten some feedback from people in like the last few weeks since i've talked about changing it and people are like you know feel free to do that but like i'm fine with what you've got it doesn't bother me at all yeah i i think it's, I mean, either one of them are good. I did. I do really do like, uh, Mike's bonfire. It's not yeah a typical naming convention and, but yeah, it, it, I, you know, it totally fits the persona. Yeah. Initially it was like, uh, the, the bonfire aspect, uh, was, you know, like when you create a sub stack, you're supposed to have like an introductory post that just introduces yourself to like, you know, breeders andmy idea of like the bonfire was like, I was trying to write at the time, like a serialized novel. And I'd gotten about like, you know, 20 pages through the first chapter. And, uh, my idea was to put it out there. And so to emulate what Tom Wolf had done with the bonfire, the vanities were serialized that novel and Rolling Stone, um, in the eighties. And so that was like, my idea was like, you know, this is like my, my bonfire. Um, and, so that was kind of the thing. And it just sounded like kind of a cool name, but it, to me, to be honest with you, it sounds like also like kind of pervy, to be honest. Like, it sounds like I'm like, I'm like a, I'm like a weird. I didn't think of that at first. Come on over to Mike's bonfire and bring your slim gems. And, uh, well, I wasn't, I did not get that vibe at all. I,Yeah, I think like I just I have that general anxiety that like, you know, just any anything I create is any name that I come up with has like some kind of a weird, you know, like S&M connotation. Like the Midnight Citizen sounds like. Well, for one, I initially like right after I came up with that name and put it out there years ago, I sort of thought that like that sounds like an underground, like right wing militia group. Um, you know, and I, I think you're, I think you're reading way too much into it. That's just me. I don't know. It's like, I doubt, I doubt everything that i do. So, you know, yeah, no, I, I just, the midnight, it sounds because there was a thing called midnight caller. Um, uh, it was eric begorzian was the actor, right? Don't you do midnight color is that somebody else? Well, uh, anyway, talk radio.Talk Radio. That was his play that he turned into a movie. It reminds me of that. You're up all night. You're talking about what's happening. You're keeping people on the straight and narrow and telling them what's happening in the world. Talk Radio was obviously… When I created the show, I was watching that movie a lot as well as pump up the volume. I just was really… just so incredibly sad that a lot of that was going, was going away. Yeah. Well, no, it's actually exploded. It has. I know. And I was thinking about that at the time where it's like, you know, you know, podcast, like I've been thinking about like, you know, when podcasting came around, you know, which is, was six years before that was around 2004. That was like a really exciting thing. And getting like,my first like getting the iPod and everything and being able to just, just for specifically for podcasts, I was like, this is fantastic because it's like taking this like talk radio. I mean, talk radio obviously still exists, but you know, if you weren't, you know, Howard Stern or at the time, you know, like air America had things you were like, you had to be like Rush Limbaugh. You had to be like some kind of like, you know, loudmouth conservative um uh be on talk radio anymore and just the audience had gotten so incredibly like it just it made me really sad like i was very young i was only like 23 or so but um when when podcasting came out but i it made me very happy to see like this medium suddenly like come out of nowhere where like anybody could suddenly do something like that umUm, it was, it was really cool, but, uh, obviously like my interest in it died down because like the, the dream sort of died very quickly. Like after it was introduced to the world, like people just started figuring out that like, Oh, since everybody can do it, you know, then there's like, it's, it's harder to kind of break through and it's like becoming oversaturated and everything. And, and then eventually, uh, when podcasting made a big comeback like when welcome to night veil came out and like uh um that show cereal came out right it was like great everybody loves podcasting again but it's still not the it's not like the podcasting that i like i liked and that i that i was really interested in i'm not interested in like these heavily produced radio stories that might as well just be on public radioRight. Yeah. And that's really around the time that I found the overnight scape and I would, you know, and I, I found the overnight scape underground, um, and, and met all you guys who were like sort of doing the exact same thing that it should have been all along. So, uh, it made me frustrated cause it's like all these years I could have been hearing, uh, you guys, I could have been hearing Frank, um, you know, it was a little frustrating. Um, and, sort of like, you know, what you hear people say, like after they, like when they, when they get clean or something off of drugs and alcohol, like all these years, like living this like fantastic clean life, you know? Oh my gosh. I'm finally sober. Yeah. Look at all that i've been missing out on. I know. Oh my gosh. The life, the world's changed. Um, not what it, yeah. I mean, I,Yeah. Well, at this point, I mean, it's been 20, uh, 21 years now, so yeah you can romanticize about it a little bit. Um, having that much time pass, uh, right. Yeah. I mean, it, it was cool. I mean, you didn't make any money, but, uh, you know, whatever yeah you have to, it's art. Well, again, I mean, you still aren't, really making any money you know but like the idea is is that there is so much money out there to be made in podcasting um by people selling things to podcasters but again it's the money yeah the money it's become like a pyramid scheme you know um and my thinking on it is is just like let those people flush themselves out of it um and uh you know like my my my friend um who uhlast summer he works for a production studio in town and i was helping him. They wanted to get into the podcasting space, like have like create a studio that they could then rent out to local podcasters. Um, and, uh, so i went down there and kind of helped him set it up and, uh, they're, they've been doing really well they've got people coming in but like uh they find that they have a client come in, record one podcast, maybe two podcasts, and they just drop off after that because it just is not the moneymaker that they think it's going to be. It's like everybody just kind of does it because it's what you're supposed to do to get your name out there. It's like social media in a sense where it's like, yeah, I have to have all these social handles so that I can be…out in the space and it's like, yeah, yeah, I, I, you know, it's, yeah, there's, um, what was it? I mean, it's like three million or something, uh, podcast now, but apparently the, the real number i'm told, at least from a little bit of research and, and other people who have done research is the reality is it's about

Bob gets his lunch ruined, while Miles throws his wife and her BFF under the bus.

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I don't remember the next line. Come on. What did you say? This is baloney cheeks. Baloney cheeks? Baloney cheeks. I never heard of that. I don't know. Your wife calls you or something? Yeah. Come here, baloney cheeks. Get your fat ass over here, baloney cheeks. Okay, honey. I'll do it. I'm here for you, Mr. Baloney Cheeks. That's me. I'm here. I can't believe it. Baloney Cheeks. I can't believe it's not Miles. Who came up with Baloney Cheeks? I don't know. I probably stole it. You know, honey, after all these years, I want you to use my new… Legal name. Would the defendant, Mr. Bologna Cheeks, please rise. I'll never get in trouble again. That is indeed your name, Bologna Cheeks. You can't be mad at me. Come here, Bologna Cheeks. Yeah, Bologna Cheeks is probably a good name for you.You like bologna, by the way? It's dying. No. No? I would have took you for a bologna man. Uh-uh. Yeah, you look like a bologna kind of guy. I've eaten different kind of meat, but I've not really enjoyed the bologna, I suppose. Really? Even as a kid? Nah, we didn't have that. What did you guys have? uh we had liver sausage oh wow salami yeah i love the salami yummy yeah so bad for you uh i know i like what Hash out of a can. Oh, corned beef hash. Oh, God, that's disgusting. Yummy. I love corned beef hash out of a can. I liked fried bologna sandwich when I was a kid. No, we didn't have that. Come on, we were rich. Yeah, I know. I was the poor kid. I ate fried bologna sandwich. No, we always had these hamburger steaks called cube steak. Oh, we had the cube steak. That's cheap. My God, I think we ate that like three times a week. I swear to God. Cube steak is cheap. Yeah.I liked it. Yeah, no, I'm not complaining, but it just seemed like we all had an awful lot. Yeah, my wife does not like cube steak. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't had it in a long time. So, where were you on Friday? April, would that have been April 4th? Around 1130 in the afternoon, Friday, April 4th. Probably at work. Probably. Okay. Are you sure? You sure you're nowhere near Columbia, Missouri? Nope. It wasn't me. Well, I'm glad it wasn't because I had one of the worst experiences in my life. Okay. Some, uh, person like myself, uh, get in your life for yes i would yes i would classify them as title-esque cheap guy with no computer skills. I was thinking, uh, baloney cheeks. Yeah. Yeah. I was yelling that.Oh, bloated cheeks, you sons of bitches. Instead of con, you're yelling bloated cheeks. Bloated cheeks. So I had to go to Kansas City last week. Man, you just got back. You were just like out of town like a week ago. Busy time. Busy time. Holy crap. And that went fine. All around was pretty good. Yeah. But. I'm driving home in the rain on Friday and it's just raining and raining, you know, sometimes hard, sometimes not. So I, uh, I'm like, Oh, I'm going to stop in Columbia and get myself some delicious Culver's. Oh yeah. I like the call for my lunch. Cause it was like, it was like 1130. I'm like, Oh, I'm almost to Columbia. Yeah. I really have to pee. Then I'm going to get myself some delicious Culver's food. After I wash my hands. Of course. What am I, an idiot? Well, I'm just saying. So normally, I mean, typically, Culver's experience is usually a good one. I mean, for the food, but also for the cleanliness of their establishment.Oh yeah. It really wasn't their fault per se. Yeah. But so I really got to go and I'm trying, you know, I want to make it to lunch and then take a whiz. Yeah. So I, I, I barrel into the Culver's and a high tail it to the bathroom. I opened the door and go ahead. And there's a, So they have the famous one urinal, one toilet combo with a little stall in between. Yeah. And the guy's at the urinal, and I swear he's like writing his name or something. Because he is, whatever he's doing, he's doing it with gusto. Ah, okay. Yeah. I mean, he's leaning back and pushing forward. No hands. He was on a surfing safari or whatever you want to call it. He was hands behind his head or something. Fingers were laced. He was like jiggling. I'm too sexy for this urinal. Too sexy. Yeah. Yeah. So he sees me and then he's like, oh.I can't wait for the urinal. Your name isn't Tammy, is it? Yeah. I can't wait for the urinal, so I take a beeline into the stall because I got to go, right? This is happening now. Now is the time. And guess what is in the stall? A big, juicy turd. Yes. It's waiting for you. Yes. And I'm like, ugh. And I'm like, bologna cheeks. God damn it. I'm like, what I want to do before I eat my delicious Culver's hamburger is look at somebody's fucking shit in the toilet. and then of course i i gotta go. It's happening. There's no stopping it. You know, you, I've reached the end of the destination, so it's all coming out. Well, you're like 70 years old. I mean, come on. Exactly. When it's happening, it's happening. Yeah. I gotta go. I'm not quite 70, but anyway, so then, um, so i'm like, fuck, I'm like, this is the most miles title fucking thing he's like jacking off in the urinal and he's shit. He didn't flush it. And,I'm like, yeah, I don't know what he's doing over there with the urinal. He's having so much fucking fun in the urinal. It's like some kind of kiddie pool or something going on over there. So I'm having to piss in somebody else's shit because I have to go. And I'm trying, like, with my foot, I'm trying to, like, wave to make the thing flush, but I'm not that coordinated. You know what I mean? That's not working. And so then I'm, you know, so I finish up and I kick the button. I was able then once I couldn't balance myself very well. Yeah. I kicked the button and it flushes. I thought for sure this thing was going to overflow and everything. And it flushes. And then I was just more angry. Yeah. Because somebody intentionally didn't flush the toilet. Oh, that's disgusting. Flushed fine. Thankfully, when I came out,The flash urinal over there was all done with his dance and had left, thank goodness. Yeah. But now, I mean, my whole appetite's ruined. How big was the turd? I mean, was it… Well, do you really want me to describe? Yeah, let's hear the corn and everything. What's going on? Well, they looked like… Hairy meatballs. Like, this is the most disgusting shit I've ever seen. My own shit doesn't even look this disgusting. Yeah. You know, I was like, oh, if I would have been some kind of pervert like yourself, I would have took a picture and sent it to you. When have I ever done that? Come on. I have a picture of the poop that you sent me. No, I never did. Yes, I do, because you were going to poop the alphabet at one point, and you took a picture of your own shit and sent it to me. That is a million-dollar idea, I'm telling you. I mean, someone's already done it now. I'm sure they have, but yeah. A lot of L's and I's. I think it was a J, and I'm like, that's all you're going to be making. I don't know. Maybe an L. I don't know how you're going to get these other letters out of there. An I. An I.Yeah, you're really limited in your… Well, I can get old, but, man, you got to work for it. Wait, Bob, I got to stop you guys right there. There's Alphabet. Hey, Michael, how are you doing? Oh, there's Alphabet in your turd? No, he was going to poop the Alphabet. Oh, what happened? Where did Miles go? He dropped off. I think I'm out of here. He did. No, I think he dropped off. Yes, he's going to poop the alphabet. There he is. Sorry, I got excited. Sorry. Yeah, what did you hit the button or something? I hit my baloney cheeks. Yeah, you hit your baloney cheeks. All right. So, yeah, it was just disgusting. But, yeah, Miles was going to poop the alphabet at one point. Make a book out of it. Yeah, make a book out of it, like a picture book. So, as far as I know, he only got to J. Yeah.Yeah. I was just so disgusted by this whole situation. I mean, then I had to go eat. What did you have to eat? Well, I was stopping for lunch. And then I got a hamburger. I got a delicious Culver's hamburger. It was delicious, though. That's the good part. It turned me totally off of it. But for a little while there, I was like, this is not going to happen. Eating. This is so disgusting. If I'd been at Ikea, wouldn't have eaten. Yeah. Every time i go to ikea to eat stuff, I usually get, like, stomach or food poisoning really i don't think to be honest with you, I don't think i've ever eaten at Ikea. The hot dogs look like they're from like they don't they don't look frozen they it's it's hard to, you know, describe it butBut it's like if I'm going to stop at a store like that to have a hot dog, I'll go to like Sam's Club or something or Costco. You look like an uncircumcised Swede. I don't know, man. It's weird looking. It's like half of a Jeremy Army helmet, you know, uncircumcised. Yeah. But, yeah, so my day was ruined. Let's just put it that way. And then I had to drive the rest of the way home in the rain. You don't have a roof? What the hell are you doing? No, no, I was just in the car. I just hate driving in the rain. You know, you drive in the rain, the windshield wipers are going. It's just like, ugh. I drove a whole day. I drove four hours in the rain. It's terrible.He's got the convertible down, Miles. He's getting wet. Yeah, he's a little different. Yeah. No, I just don't like the windshield wipers going. I don't know. It's annoying. I don't know. It's annoying. What's going on with you, Miles? Anything? Yes. You took a big shit in Columbia, Missouri, and didn't flush it, didn't you? Yeah. Hmm. Of course, I haven't been to Columbia in about 20 years, so that's an old turd. Yeah, Culver's wasn't there 20 years ago. So my wife and her best friend have started making widgets and selling widgets at shows and st

Miles and Bob take a backseat to the multi-hyphenate Suraj as he regales us with his experience at this year's Planet Comic Con Kansas City.

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Here's somebody else. Here we are. I don't know. Tonight, Miles is going to do more shitty impressions, everybody. Are we ready for that? Siraj, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to shave my coin purse. What the heck is he… And I can't believe he said that after going live. I'm keeping it clean on my side. That's your mistake. Yes. Oh, my God. A martini shaken, but not stirred. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Stag Show. This is Bob. Ah, jeez. It's me, Miles. Yes. It's Miles and his horrible, terrible impersonations. You know, you always got to try to steal other people's thunder, Miles. you know yeah yeah yeah you know it's because you know you're like, you're like, Hey, sir Reg is here tonight. Who does all these impersonations? But wait a minute. So does miles get out no come on. He's the genius. I'm just the knockman man yeah my nowhere man come on he's yeah you're jeremy that's your name. You're Jeremy. Jeremy. Uh,No, just Jeremy. That's from Yellow Submarine. Jeremy's the nowhere man. Oh, I thought you meant Ron Jeremy. No. Of course not. Yeah. Woodchuck. No. No, I meant Jeremy, the little blue guy from Yellow Submarine. Oh, I only saw that once, man. Come on. You got the hole in my pocket. You only saw it once. It's like… The fantastic psychedelic cartoon? No, they were showing that movie on someone's house and this stranger just laid by me and he was telling me what the movie was about and then he disappeared. This sounds like possibly… Sounds like Miles' own biography. Yeah, I was going to… This sounds a little bit like… something that you have to go through the little saloon doors to get at the video store back in the day. Hey, would you mind if i shared your blanket with you, big brown eyes? All right. Well, come on in, man. Yeah. Let's make a tent. Let's spoon while we watch the yellow submarine. You're like, oh, I don't mind. It's cold outside. You know, they say you're not as no never mind i don'tWhat are you, like a 34B? What is this here? I was a small spoon. That was the really embarrassing part. I want to tell you what the blue meanies mean. All right. I guess. Why does this guy keep poking me in the back? Yeah. Oh, it's my car keys. That was Miles. My introduction to many things that night. Long, what was it? Rochelle, Rochelle. Yeah. Miles, Miles. Long journey from Milan to Minsk. Humbert, Humbert. Yeah. Let me tell you about the Blue Meanies. This guy showed up and he's like, Hey man, I'm going to tell you about this movie. Off the street. Yeah. I mean, this guy just literally like beamed down from like, you know, like the, the enterprise, he beamed down literally. And I went to go turn to talk to him and he was gone. I'm like, what the fuck just happened?Yeah, I'm sure that's what you said. I'm like, Siraj, come back, you son of a bitch. Where'd you go? I got roofied while I was watching you. I know. I think I did. By a homeless stranger. I woke up the next day, and let me tell you. I've never been like that before. I felt young and free. I was wearing my pants. My blanket is my pants. I woke up without my pants on. that was uh williams uh yeah this girl we worked with told the story about going to a party and she's oh yeah i woke up without my pants on. And I'm like, what? And she's like, yeah, I woke up without my pants on i go do you remember anything noShe was dating her cousin. Wasn't she dating her cousin? She was dating her cousin. It was a whole thing. They both had the same last name. And they're both from the same small town. They're both from the same small town. That's weird, man. I'm sorry. I think they got married. Oh, God. Just saying. So I'm going to pinch hit with Suresh tonight. I did nothing absolutely interesting at all this week. And Suresh did… Because Suresh went… This is called tag team. We're tag team storytelling here. Unlike you who were tag teaming in a different way. Yeah, I got roofied though. Here, drink this. Be gentle. Drink this. So Suresh went to the Kansas City Comic Con. Suresh, you want to fill us in on what all happened? What all kind of hijinks you got into out there? I saw you. Can I say who you were with? Are you going to get into that? Yeah, you can say. You sure? Sure. Christina Ricci. Yeah. I know, Miles, it would perk up whenever you hear that. Talk slow, though. Talk very slow when you describe this, okay? He wants to relish it.Every second of it. I'm going to loosen my belt. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, so I was basically at the Planet Comic Con, Kansas City, last weekend. And I got in through volunteering there. Yes. Oh, you were one of the volunteers. Wow. Yeah, one of the volunteers. So did you have to sit at a table with people or no? So I was volunteering for Celebrity Row. Yes, that's where all the celebrity guests come. Wait, you can do that? I mean, you have to interview for it. If you pass the interview, Miles, you're slim to none. If they have Jennifer Love Hewitt there, I'm doing it. You tell me how to do it, I'm going to do it. The main question they'll ask you is, why do you want to volunteer at Celebrity Row? Because I got a huge…Well, the second question is, do you have any restraining orders against any celebrities? Yeah, Will Wheaton, he can go suck a fart. Yeah, Will Wheaton's probably got a restraining order. Yeah, he doesn't like me. Okay, go ahead. I'm sorry. You're like, here, Will, here's my autographed copy of Yellow Submarine. All right, let the guy talk. Let the guy talk. Yeah, so I volunteered. I had to manage the back of the line. Because, see, the thing is, every celebrity has a booth. And you have lines of people lining up to meet people. them for autographs, selfies, whatever. So yeah, there'll be like volunteers to manage the front of the line, which is at the table where the celebrity is, then the middle of the line, then the back of the line. So I was managing the back of the line, that too specifically for Christina Ricci. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So telling all the people where they need to stand. And man, it's crazy. I'm telling you, like,both the days I volunteered on Saturday and Sunday and both the days, like you had like a hundred, a hundred plus fans lining up and I had to like manage those lanes and go into like overflow area. Get your hands out of your pockets. What are you doing? Overflow area. Yeah. Like we had like, like across from Christina Richie was, do you know David Tennant? Yes. Oh gosh. Dr. Who. Yeah, he came as a celebrity guest for this Comic-Con. Yeah, Kansas City gets a lot of really good celebrities. I've noticed over the last five or six years, they really bring them in. Christopher Lloyd was there. Andy Serkis was there. Matthew Lillard, of course. Scooby! Scooby! Scooby! Like Scoob. There's a lot of ghosts in there, Scoob. That's badass. You didn't tell me this guy was this funny. I told you. Fun fact. I got to entertain a lot of volunteers and attendees at the back of the line with my shaggy impression. That's badass. Yeah. That's really good, man. Why don't you meet Matthew Lillard and show it?I would, but there's so many people who want to meet him. And I can't. Yeah. Now, the back of the line, was that the furthest away from the table or the closest? The furthest away. But I'll tell you one thing. Because we did such a good job of managing the lines and her table, at the end of Sunday, which is the final day of Cannes, And before Christina had to leave to catch a flight, she said she would take complimentary photos with all the volunteers who worked her line and her booth. That's how I got a pic with her. And I got to appreciate her for her role in Casper, which was like the first movie of hers I saw as a kid. Very sweet person and incredibly short.too yeah it's just she's a tiny tiny person what was the typical fan or was it like creepy, like middle-aged old men like Bob, do you think or like younger like you know, buff guys like me, you think or what do you think it was? A good variety, Miles and bob good variety yeah yeah miles is the bradley cooper of this set right here, I can tell you that right now And then you had guys of my age. Then you had even the young fans. Yes, even the kids, but with their parents. Now I don't know if it's the kids who are the fans or the parents who are like, come with me, kids. I'm going to meet Christina Ricci. Nothing like a cute kid to get you freebies. Oh, I know. Oh, man, that's just cute. Dog or a cute kid. No, bring a cute little kid because people love that. And you can cut in front of the line. Oh, it's awesome. Oh, this kid's got to go potty.After he meets Christina Ricci. I'm like that guy in Titanic. I have a child. I have a child. Billy Zane. I pull a Billy Zane and cut the line. Unfortunately, it's just your conjoined twin hanging out of your shirt. Waddle. Christina Ricci was great to meet her. I got to chat with some of the other celebrities. Not like get photos, but just chat with them like a meet and greet. I met Asif Mandvi from the internship movie. Owen Wilson. He played the Google guy, the Indian Google guy. Indian Google. Okay, cool. Asif Mandvi. I met Carla Gugino. Oh, yeah. Spy Kids. Yeah. And appreciated her for all her Mike Flanagan roles. A lot of stuff. Yeah. And my favorite part. Two favorite parts, I'll tell you. One is I met Bob West. He's the voice of Barney the Dinosaur. Oh, Barney, yeah. And I got to do my impression of Barney for him. Do your impression of Barney for us. Yeah. I love you. You love me. We're a happy family.This guy's like Rich Little. Holy crap. He's the Indian Rich Little. But one fact I'll tell you is that though I did my impression for Bob, the first time I did it,...

Bob critiques a waitress's penmanship while Miles says farewell to an old friend or does he?

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Any moment here. Now you're quiet. Now we start the live stream and you're quiet. My cat was playing with my thing. Get out of here. My cat was playing with my thing. I can't believe it. Hey, everybody, welcome to the Tarot Dome. Hey, everyone, this is Miles, feeling fresh. Freaky fresh. Freaky fresh. Freaky, freaky fresh. Live or plausible. You actually have your name. You have your real name on. I thought we were going to have Mexoplex. No. No. Or whatever you call him. We were talking about this character off the show there. Waiter! It's my new villain for Superman! I don't know. It's some obscure reference and I didn't know the guy's name. Apparently it's a big deal. I don't know. Bro Retap? It's right.No, it's lowly town. New Superman villain mitzvah flick. Mm-hmm. What? New Superman villain. Yes. That's for all the people overseas. Weetabix in Canada. Weetabix is a cereal. Thank you. Um… It's getting nice outside, Miles. Is it getting good weather up there in Anchorage? A couple days ago it was nice, but it's kind of tanked a little bit since then. I thought it was pretty nice. I went out to dinner last night with a friend of mine and his wife. My wife went too. quadruple some. We went to this place that I'm not even going to say what it is because we have frequented it a little bit. We met him there and just had dinner and chatted and so forth. We hadn't done that in a while. We're sitting there and we're ordering our food. Very niceyoung lady was our waitress. I mean, very… Well, now that… Everybody's young. I'm so old now at this point. Very nice young lady. She's taking our order and she's right next to me. I'm on the outside or whatever you want to say. I'm watching her write and she's She's got this pen, I guess, or maybe mechanical pencil. I'm not sure what it is. And she's writing down her order, but she's gripping it like she's holding on for dear life. She's got like a monkey grip on this thing. You know, there's a big thing about young folks never had to write cursive. Mm-hmm. Right. And so I don't know how you hold a pen or whatever, but, you know, I kind of hold it like out front. Right. Well, she's just basically like grab this pen like it's a beer can. Right. A small beer can. Yeah. And is writing. She's like scribbling with. I mean, it is the most awkward looking thing. And I was just like, I just I was mesmerized. I couldn't I couldn't take my eyes off of this.technique. It was as if she'd never written in her life. And I'm like, you know, I'm looking, I want to ask. I really do. I mean, I have most of the time in public, I have to like pull myself back. If I just were to let myself go, I would ask all these embarrassing, terrible. Oh, like me, like me yeah like you Hey, did you go to special school? Why do you write like this? Why are you writing like… Did you get hurt? Yeah, exactly. Like Bob Dole and you got like a fused hand or something. Oh, nice. Nice. And so she's taking the order. I'm watching this. And then my friend, he orders a Yingling lager. Right? Yeah, I don't know what that is. Oh, you don't know what that is?I don't drink. Oh, okay. Well, I don't drink very much either, but it's the oldest beer. Oh, I don't know. Anyway, they didn't have any. She's like, oh, we don't have any lager. You're from Wisconsin? My friend goes, what? Huh? Lager? We're all out of that lager. Oh. And he's like, What are you talking about? It was so terrible. Were you from Macedonia? I mean, how do you talk like this? You're talking incredibly. No lager. And then finally he goes, oh, well, then I'll have, you know, I forget what he had then. But she couldn't say lager. And then she couldn't use a pen. I would have to. Yeah, I'd have to call her out at that point. Like, wait a minute. I want to take a picture.Oh, I don't know. Yeah. Well, true. It would have been a little bit weird. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. I've never figured out how that trick works. So don't do it. Yeah. I want to take a picture. No, sounds weird, but I like thinking you hold my flat person, please. Well, that's different. I do carry around a paper doll with me sometimes for people to take their picture with, but that's something completely different. That's a, Otherwise, she was perfectly pleasant, other than the fact that she did not know how to use a pen or a pencil and did not know the word lager at a restaurant that has a bar component. Could I have some fastest then? Yeah. Fastest lager? Maybe she was foreign. We don't know. She was not foreign. I can tell you right now. She was a local kid.Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, but it was so funny because I didn't know what she was saying either. Lager? And I'm like, what is that? What is that? And my friend's like, he's like, what? Oh, my God. Like all these condescending people like coming down to a poor girl. Oh, my God. I know this poor woman. We weren't that bad. No, he was like, what? That's why he is all the time. You know what? and uh yeah so this poor lady had to serve us but thankfully it you know really wasn't that tough. Right. But, uh, she, uh, yeah, I, this pencil, the, do people not, I mean, I don't really write. I have horrible handwriting yeah is abysmal most of the time because i really want to do it. I've seen your postcards to me and i'm like, is a third grader right that's correctLike, what is this? But I do have, you know, I hold my pen as if I know what I'm doing. I just don't want to do it. Where she was holding her pen as if she didn't know how to hold a pen. Right. It was like a fist. Yeah. And like, if she eats like this, holy moly. Yeah. Thankfully, I did not have to experience watching her eat. Would you like to eat with us? Yeah. Would you like to pull up a chair? I guess if I could have a little bit of lager. Yeah. If I could have some lager. But you didn't quiz her. I don't know. Maybe she was putting this on. Maybe that was the whole thing. I don't know. Maybe she was from Wisconsin or something. You know, you can't judge people. Come on. You can't judge. Come on. You're judging. You're judging. I'm not judging. You're judging.Okay, I'm a little bit judgy. Yeah, you and your friend there. Yeah, your uptight friend. I hate to see her play darts for Christ's sake. She just grabbed this. You know what I mean? Close enough. She'd be sticking herself in the foot all night. Holy shit. I don't know. Maybe she's from a different country. We don't know. Nobody plays darts anymore. You're… Not for real. I mean, goofing around. Stuff like that. The early part of my college years were spent playing darts. I would not challenge someone to a game and offer to whip their ass at playing darts. No. Do you know how to hold a dart? Yeah, I know how to hold a dart like a man. Well, I'm afraid this young lady would not be very good at darts.Frankenstein. Exactly. Exactly. Frankenstein. Take order. Lager. I mean, you look like Blair from Facts of Life, but man, just the way you hold this pencil is driving me crazy. You look a little bit like Jerry from Facts of Life. Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. No one remembers that character. Yikes. Wow. Yikes. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. Maybe she had cerebral palsy. Maybe this is the beginning. It's going to feel horrible if I go back in there and she's working and they're like, oh, yeah. Margaret got the CP, and now she can't work anymore. Well, she's not here anymore. People make fun of her. Everybody made fun of her pen work. Her penmanship. Yeah, poor lady. I'm such a jerk. You and your stupid friend. Well, no, no. He just was on the logger thing. I don't think he even noticed the pen. Yeah, but still, he didn't. I'm not going to throw him under the bus for that one. Yeah. I was the pen guy. I don't want to meet any more of your so-called friends, man. I'll tell you that right now. I don't. I don't.You don't. All right. Well, Hey, I hope she didn't have any kind of, uh, you know, like nerve damage or anything. Well, let's hope she did. Good thing that, uh, you know, I never do the tip when I go, if I want to do it with my wife, I never figured the tip. I always give up my wife to take care of. You give the, what your wife, the tip. Is that what you're. What are you saying? Lager? So, no, I mean, she always does the tip, and I think she's a better tipper. You know what I mean? Oh, I would guarantee that. You are cheap. Oh, give me a break, man. You're cheap. You're such a bastard. Yeah, yeah. You're such a bastard. Oh, hey, we got a couple people here with us, by the way. Laura and Michael. And they're throwing, oh, thank you.Thank you. But anyway, this poor woman and her penmanship. I wanted to look at that pad so badly, but I couldn't. Because if I stood up, I should have stood up and let me see what the hell you're writing. I just want to see it. Let me see it. Please let me see it. that's weird. What's, what's going on with you miles so uh you know it was, uh, there's all this time it was the worst time yeah there's all these social platforms that mostly on Facebook, I guess, which is no big deal but um yeah and I, you know, you have a little mixture of people you've known from different parts of your life and stuff, you know? Well, Actually, before you go into your story, can I stop you for just a moment? What in the hell are you doing watching an old football game and posting about it? I'm a mental case. I'm a mental patient. You're like, oh, my wife won't let me watch this old ancient football game from when I was a toddler, but I'm watching it anyway. I was just reliving my youth, you know, and I was watching…I was watching some old movies. You busted out the crayons, and I was… I was watching the 85 Bears, so what? I was wearing my jersey from back then....

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Donnell and Robert drop by and say, so far Severance is the best show ever!, Bob takes some exception. Listen in to see where this all goes and which hidden rooms are revealed.

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Hey everybody, welcome to a conversation with, watching it's Donnell and Robert. Hey Danelle and Robert, how you doing? I'm doing fantastic. Slightly hungover. Slightly hungover. Oh really? Okay. So if I would have showed up yesterday, you would have been in better… Oh no, I was hungover yesterday too. Oh, okay. Well, it's good to know that you're consistent. This is weekend Robert. Yeah. That's good. how are you guys doing? Doing all right. You know, just, uh, yeah, same old, same old, just making the podcast watching uh a lot of a lot of videos tv too much these days because I, I currently do not have a job. So I was going to ask you about free time any any prospects or uh not yet talk about yet.Nothing really. Any ones you don't want to get, you might want to mention here so they make sure they won't hire you? Not a job, but I had a fake online college reach out to me about joining their border security and criminal justice program. I was like, no, that's going to be a hard pass. It's a growth industry. I was going to say that. Chances of you getting hired is probably 100% out of that program. At this point in time, yes. You might want to consider that here in another week or so. You'll be like, ramen is not so great, and maybe I should be a border security guy. Did you know that the Homeland Security, I think it's Homeland Security. What is it? No. The border people, it's 100 miles from the border that they can patrol. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. So it's not the border. It's a lot of places.yeah it's not even just per patrol i think that they suspend like fifth amendment rights yeah it's it's like a whole uh zone yeah it's around the whole country it's on any border, it's 100 miles from the border that they have some kind of jurisdiction or something so that's insane it is insane. I mean, I could see, you know, what, maybe 20 miles? Is that too much maybe yeah i think i think anything over five If it's not on the border, it doesn't count. Your jurisdiction ends as soon as you get one in. I think that they should be able to patrol in question, but the suspension of the Bill of Rights within that border, that's where it gets a little… Well, I mean, think about it. You guys are out on the West Coast. I mean, that's Los Angeles, San Diego, Seattle. Oh, yeah. We're in the Seattle area. I mean, if it's a hundred miles from the border, their jurisdiction would come down to pretty much where we live. Because you've got the coast, but then you've also got the Canadian border. So like almost all of Washington State is covered in that. Yeah, I read that. I couldn't believe it.i was going to say, uh, outside of all the, the, the moral qualms with being a border patrol agent, I just think the whole, like, I mean, we did just talk about how canada is right above us that's a border, but i'm just always thinking about the the southern border and my thing is like, there is so much like just empty space land out there that you have oh yeah they have to be in. And like, I can't do no job where my job is to sit in the middle of nowhere for hours upon in and just maybe, something happened. But also, the non-callability, nothing happens, and i'm just sitting in a car, and i'm like, so, can I, like, do other stuff? Like, well, no, you gotta yeah because something might happen. And I'm just like other stuff. They're all doing other stuff. I mean, yeah, true. They probably all are just not just well i mean also also i don't i don't know if you know this it's it's hot yeah oh yeahYou got air conditioners, rattlesnakes and coyotes and chupacabras. You're all good. Yeah, no, I'm just like, yeah, I can't. I can't do a job that it's like 99% nothing. And then 1%. Oh, no, probably like 99, 95% nothing. 4% just like people just trying to get over here. And then 1%. Oh, Things about to go crazy. Like, oh my gosh. You know, gunfights and that sort of stuff. I'm just like, nah, man, I don't need that life. Where it's like, yeah, most days you're just doing nothing at all. No, they're going to stick you in one of the stalls. And you're checking passports. Oh, yeah, there you go. I'm across the border. So I saw this and I was like, well, this is a weird timeline we live in. Is for the last two months,Uh, the most thing, uh, confiscated at the border as contraband was not, you know, like fentanyl, like they want us to believe or drugs or anything. It was eggs yeah people yeah they're smuggling eggs we're like gotta get my eggs whether going down to, uh, Mexico to get cheap eggs. Is that the deal or no no canada they're going okay yeah yeah you're going to go to the grocery store in canada and get getting the eggs man getting them eggs it's it's it's a struggle out here. And it's like, man, I'm going to risk it i'm headed up for the weekend. Yeah, what's the over under p l on you know become an egg smuggler. Or I got free time i got it i got a car, you know. The border's right there. and his head up there eggsThis is your job. Just get some eggs. Just get some chickens, lay some eggs, and you're all set. You don't have to worry about working. The unemployment office calls and was like, have you had any alternate revenue forms? It's like, I don't want to talk about it. I got these chickens. I'm not. You can have an apartment full of chickens. You'll be fine. They shit a lot, but other than that, you're all good. I got an office that I can quit. clean out they eat bugs. Put them in there and, you know just just have a room full of chickens, you know, where i yeah my my undergrad underground arm, man, I cannot talk underground egg farming yeah yeah that's right. I mean, that could be, I mean, underground. Yeah. It would be above. It's not illegal to have an illegal. Yeah. You can have chickens. Well, maybe illegal to have chickens in your apartmentI own a townhouse. It's my townhouse. Well, then there you go. I mean, I do wonder about the whole… I know you can have your own chickens and do some like, but can you scale and do actual selling? I figure there's got to be some… I figure you can get about an egg every two days out of a chicken. And so, you know, I get a room. You're going to have to have 30 chickens. Yeah. yeah i mean that's just two dozen eggs right there. I mean, that would be wrong. Eggs are expensive, but i think two thousand two dozen eggs every two days being sold is not gonna it's not gonna get the bill paid. I I'm, I'm leaning back towards smuggling eggs from canada going up there. oh okay now a couple hundred a couple hundred eggs you know, get a whole, uh, uh,refrigerator truck full of eggs do they uh refrigerate them in canada or do they are they the no refrigerator i don't i don't think that they so so that's based on washing versus right exactly yeah we wash we wash our eggs of the membrane uh here in the united states and that's why they have to be refrigerated whereas at least in the uk they don't wash they don't right they don't have to be refrigerated i'm assuming that's the same in canada yeah i don't know i mean i i i do not want to speak for any canadians who may be listening, but i feel like canada is a little bit, and this is is not dangerous to say, but just not as appreciated as may have been in past years. But I think canada is a little bit more in tune with us than Europe, where i feel like they might be washing their eggs too. You think so? I feel like, yeah, I feel like. According to google geminirefrigerate their eggs. They also have a bag of milk up there. Whenever we start talking about groceries in Canada, I'm like, we got to talk about bag of milk. What is up with that? The first time I interacted with someone from Canada, they had come down here. It was a family friend that came down here. They were here and they were just looking puzzled at our carton of milk. I was like, what's going on? Why is it in a box? I was like, well, it could come in a plastic jug, but I mean, we just got a carton. They're like, no, why is it that like, why is it not in the bag? And I was like, what the hell are you talking about? Milk in a bag. And they were just found it by our cardboard or cartons of milk and plastic things of milk. As I was by this bag per idea, I was like, where is this? How, how did you get to a bag of milk?Well, packaging. They just got rid of all the packaging. A carton is really just a hard bag. Right? I feel like rigidity is needed for storing liquids. I feel like that is a common thing. That is a good question. How do the Canadians deal with that? I think sometimes you open up a bag of chips, but you don't get that perfect… open and like the bag the tear tears i think they have a nozzle on the bag actually okay yeah true i guess i would hope on one of the corners the the thing i want to know is, do they print the missing kids on the bag i mean we're because i mean that's like valuable real estate all deformed, so his face looks weird. Yeah.Oh, man. No, no, no. They don't have nozzles. There's no nozzles? No, they're just tied up like a trash bag with one of those ties. What? Yeah. There's a lot of wasted milk in Canada, I have a feeling. And then they have little receptacles that they put them in in the refrigerator to keep them from, like, rolling around. Right, yeah, they got, like, a little thing that you put it into a… to have in your refrigerator for storing bag. You know, it's like the old if you ever had one of those cereal Tupperware things where you put the cereal in the Tupperware rather than just leave it in the box, supposedly to keep it fresher. I think that's what it's like up there. Yeah, this is ridiculous. Yeah, there you go. I, I, I have questions. I mean, does it save money? Is that more biodegradable?...

Miles's son brings back some of his fond hospital memories, while Bob talks about the people of Vegas.

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Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

I have this working now. It's working perfectly. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Stag Show. This is Bob. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. And if you want to listen to the podcast that I was on over the weekend, you may. It's a podcast for… You're talking over my joke I was going to make. Now you're kind of ruining my joke. For some reason, I'm not hearing you now, so I'm going to… Oh, no. No. No. We'll figure this out, you know? Uh-oh. I'm going to jump off. Hmm. I see that you're talking. Yes, I am talking. I hear you talking, but I can't come in. I see you knocking. I have to click something or another. I don't know what's going on here. No, it's working.Yeah, I've lost your… I've lost your… I heard you before. Hello. Hello. Can you hear me? Lame Jeff. I don't hear what you're saying. Hello. Hello. Hello. You can type in the chat there. Yes. Hello. Yes. Jump off. Yeah, jump off and jump back on and I'll just vamp for a minute. We'll see if that fixes it because we've had this problem before. And now we're just going to vamp for a bit here. You know, Miles is always having trouble with technology. And I think playing that video just threw him off a little bit. You know, that's what happens with Miles from time to time. So, yeah, he can't hear him. So hopefully he's going to join us back again real quick. And we'll just talk about the weather. So in my neck of the woods, apparently, I was not here for it, but there was tornadic activity. Yeah, there was like seven tornadoes in the St. Louis area over last weekend. And that was bad news for a lot of people. So I hope you all were safe during those storms if you're around here.But, you know, it's just one of those things that happens every spring anyway. So can't do much about it. Just have to suffer through. It's horrible. Lots of people like the people got their houses knocked into. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Oh, no. Hello, hello, hello, hello. I still don't hear you hello this is bad this is bad news oh you didn't know you're muted let me see if i can do something here okay go ahead and talk stuff to me here. Say something to me there, Lame Jeff. Hello, I'm Lame Jeff. You're not doing it. No. Oh, shit. Oh, he did a restart. That's good. I wonder what the deal is here. Somebody's going to hurt someone. Yeah. before the night is through i muted you and now i'm unmuting you oh you jumped off again okay somebody's gonna come undone there's nothing we can do everybodyEverybody. Make it turn out right. I can't hear you. Hello. I don't know what to start this shit over while I figure this out here. Hold on. Oh, wait. Say something now. I don't want to. Okay, now I can hear you. Hold on. Let's try it. We're just going to start over, and hopefully it'll stay with you, okay? Yeah, okay. Here we go. Okay. Going to be a heartache tonight. A heartache tonight. I know. Fine, man. Static. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Static Show. This is Bob. Miles? Miles? Miles? Oh, my fucking God. You stopped talking. All right. We're starting over again. This is motherfucking piss me off. Hold on. Stay on. Don't disconnect. Stay on. I'm just not going to play the… All right.thing again, here. Now I can hear you, and now i'm gonna do, okay. Now say something say something god damn it it's just okay hold on say something now it's my life, it's now or never. Yeah, keep singing i think it has something to do with this other thing i'm using here, so Let's see if this works this time here. There, keep talking. All right, I'm going to keep talking. It shuts you off when I do that. Are you a stupid jerk? You're a jerk. We'll fix it in post. We'll fix it in post, all right? We'll do it in post. How's it going, Miles, besides all these hiccups? Going good. Oh, good. That's good to know. Going good. Yeah, I'm… Enraged now. Oh, and engorged. So, did you have a good weekend? Yeah, yeah, it was good. How about you? Did I tell you I met Mr. T? No, I knew you were holding back, though. I was holding back. I know it. Well, it may have been Mr. T's younger nephew or something.Oh, now, come on now. You can't build it up and be like well no I met this guy. So I had to go to Las Vegas for work. Yeah. And I was there for a few days and I just got back and that's why everything's all screwed up now but so I was in Las Vegas and at this thing and I met this guy and he had a mohawk. and He had a bunch of chains, gold chains, and he was, you know, fairly, you know, physically fit. Oh, that's the way you like him, yeah. Yeah, and I'm like, hey, you know, how's it going, man? And yeah, sure enough, he looked, he was like Mr. T's younger brother or something, or, you know, cousin or whatever. So that was…And he was very much like Mr. T. He did not suffer fools. I pity the fool. It's slow. He didn't say, I pity the fool. But he was certainly a direct person, right? Well, you were in line at the buffet, and he's behind you. No, I actually didn't go to any buffets, actually. Oh, then you didn't go to Vegas. You lied. No, I did. But where I stayed at, there wasn't any buffets. I mean, really. bullshit. Well, it was a little bit upscale. Oh, I used to. Yeah. I went there once in my time. Okay, go ahead. It was not upscale? Is that what you're saying? They used to get like three rooms or something. Right, you get comped out rooms. No, there was no comping out any rooms, believe me. Yeah. I had a lot of little small misadventures. One of them was meeting Mr. T's cousin.He's a very nice guy, by the way. I thought he was real fun. He's moving to Puerto Rico, just so everyone knows. Are you intimidated by this man at any point? No, not really. I mean, other than I'm like, God, you look like Mr. T. I wanted to say something so bad, but then I thought, that's really inappropriate. Yeah. So I didn't. You are inappropriate. I didn't say, you got a Mr. T vibe going on here. I think he knew. I hope he knew. If he didn't know, then that would be a whole other thing. And so this is the only second time I've been to Las Vegas. How many times did you say you went? Oh, just once. Oh, you went once? Okay. Once after I graduated, yeah. Oh, okay.So you did like a hangover kind of situation? It's kind of with my parents, so it wasn't really as cool as you might think. Well, your dad, I mean, you know. But my mom was there. I mean, it was like a bunk school. I mean, come on. Yeah. Oh, it could be. I know your dad would be like, let's go see the titties on the show, girls. If my mom was not with us, I am certain my dad would have snuck me into something. I was only 18 at the time. Yeah. I don't think you need to get snuck in. I don't know. How old are you going to be? 18. Okay. But there was, I mean, it's a wonder that there's not more, you know, kind of shows or, you know,Everything's set in Las Vegas because there's nothing but a cavalcade of characters. I mean, everywhere you look, there was some character of a person just there. I remember walking through… I had to be somewhere real early in the morning, and so I was walking through the casino because everywhere you have to go, it goes through the casino. I was walking through the casino at like… don't know it's probably like 430 in the morning or something. And this lady who was one of the like you know, sanitation type people, she had a uniform on and everything, and she's walking towards me. And I'm, you know, we're walking towards each other. I'm trying to go to where I need to go. And apparently, I don't know where the hell she's going, but she's going somewhere andAnd she flips her hair as she walks by, right? You know how women flip their hair? Now, this woman looked to be about 75 years old and probably, you know, a lifelong smoker. So it's not. And she's only about four and a half feet tall. She was wearing a uniform for the hotel. Yeah. It was a little bit disconcerting to say the least. You know, all I could think about was this is not Mary Tyler Moore. You know what I'm saying? You could turn your world with a smile. Yeah. suddenly make it all seem worthwhile cause it's you girl and you should know it anyway it was bizarre and then of course there was the people who look like they've been sitting at the slot machine all night and there was chain smoking, you know? Yeah. Oh, they're allowed to smoke there yeahI don't know if it's allowed, but there were a lot of people smoking. Well, no, I guess this one's smoking. Yeah, never mind. Go ahead. And then there was the couple, because they had these bench seats at some of the slot machines. Sure. And it looked like she was masturbating him when I was walking up. You're like, me next, me next. So it's like they were, like, really close together, and he was, like, really leaned back, and he was pushing the button, you know, on the machine. Yeah. I mean, these things nowadays, they're not, like, boxy or anything. They're really big and tall. Yeah. And I swear to God, she, like, had her hand down on his crotch. Mm-hmm. Thankfully, that wasn't the case, but just look that way upon my approach. Mm-hmm. Yeah.and so i was like, holy moly, what the hell is going on here? Like, okay. It was a weird scene. So many strange weirdo. Yeah. You think the sanitation lady was trying to like flirt with her a little bit? No, I couldn't tell if she was wearing a wig or not I think it might have been a wig, and so therefore she was just trying to get it out of her face. Really like… She looked like that lady in something about Mary, you know? Yeah. Yeah, but with long hair, you know? Yeah, feathery long hair. Yeah. And then the worst part for me was that… I don't know if I had a haunted hotel room or what the deal was, but I was way up high, you know,...