Mongolian Death Worm

Deep in the deserts hides a ferocious beast, lying in wait below the sands. Or a possible moderately sized worm. Rob and Bob investigate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DezXNsrUUY

Bob has some stomach issues, while Miles gets pulled into the world of free isn't always free.

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Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

i'll thank you that someday the mountain might get them, but the law never would. Making their way the only way they know how. That's just a little bit more than the law will allow. Hey, everybody. Welcome to State Shows. This is Bob. We won't get booed. I think I lost you already. You said something and then I can't hear you. Oh, there you are. Okay. You said something, but I couldn't even understand what it was. That's all right. All right. Okay. It was in code. Only certain people can understand it. Yeah. I've just triggered four sleeper networks. All my fembots have come to life. The woods are lovely, dark and deep. All of these young ladies working at different hairstylists are now under my control. You ever see that telephone with Gerald Bronson? Yeah. I did, I think.Oh my goodness. How are you doing tonight, Miles? Did you fall asleep during that movie too? I did not. I don't think so. I did not. I fell asleep. I'll tell you what I fell asleep under. A blanket. I tried to watch this movie called The Painter, which was supposed to be an action movie. It had one of your favorite actors in it. jason Statham? I do like a good jason statham movie. It was not him. It was everybody's talking at me. I can't hear a word they're saying. And, uh, he was, you know, gonna get books in exchange for some things. Joe Buck. Um, okay. How many more hints do i have to give you? Yeah, okay. John Voight. John Voight, yeah, I got it. It's a newer John Voight movie, obviously made overseas, I think. Okay. He was not the… I mean, he was one of the main actors, but there was another guy who was kind of the action guy. It was just… I don't know. It was so boring, I fell asleep in it. Okay.And it was like number eight on the Paramount streaming top ten movies for the moment or something. And you fell asleep. And I just conked right out. It was like watching paint dry. The painter was definitely a good name for it. Yeah. Because it was just like watching paint dry. And then I conked out. I went to sleep. And then I woke up. And then John Voight was playing a Frenchman. And I'm like, what happened? like a, um, homeless peppy lepew oh yeah anyway that john voight's best, you know, it's certainly very far from uh yeah you know, his days is joe buck and yeah. Or any, any of his good movies deliverance National Treasure. None of them, you know. Runaway Twain? No, nothing. I mean, this obviously was a paycheck movie. Yeah. It was just not a good movie. Don't watch it. Unless you want to have a good nap. We won't. Unless you really want a really good nap.I'm very choosy about my movies. I really don't like a slow starting movie. All of my recommendations come from MrSkin.com. Well, not all of them. Not all of my recommendations. Only a good portion. That's all. Some of them. Some of them. Yeah. So… That's not all that happened to me recently. So you know I've been trying to be the Charles Nelson Riley of podcasting for a couple of years. You are. You're not trying to do it. You are. I am. Okay. Well, I appreciate your backing me on this. So it's been two years now that I've kind of been ingratiating myself on other places. And I have a couple of stories about that. So I was recording with a group and it went really well. But kind of toward the end, I had like some really bad stomach cramps. What were you talking about? I'm trying to remember.but I mean, I had like a lot of gas building up at the end. It was like, I really wanted to wrap, you know, there's no, if you're the guest, there's no real good way to wrap it up. You know, it's kind of the other people to wrap it up. And so like my belly was getting very full of this bad farts. Yeah. And I was like in distress and, What are you talking about, Sasquatch? I mean, what are you talking about? No, I wasn't talking about Sasquatch. I'm trying to remember the topic area now, to be honest with you. Well, I mean, if you're going to bring us into your world, I mean, you can't just stop there. I think it was about fairies, honestly. I think it was about fairies. Well… I mean the magical kind. Yeah, well, yeah. There are some magical ones. There are some magical ones. I feel like it was…my stomach was just like, it started going crazy and i was like, oh no, this is really bad news because uh i've never even farted on this show. I think you have several times, but i have not. Yeah, so what well i know well we haven't been recording, but there's been more than on one occasion where you talk to me from, you know, the home office there all right and and sometimes you're sitting, and sometimes you're standing all right and uh it's really, I don't, that's, I don't like that, but, uh, yeah, i never farted while i was, uh, being recorded. And so i didn't want it to happen. And so i was really holding, holding it back, holding it back. Just hit the mute button, mute yourself. Well, I could have done that, but i was really engaged in this fairy talk.And I didn't give myself any openings to release, you know, to open my spit valve or whatever. How would you say? My spit valve? I was trying to think of a good reason for having to fart. Oh, your fart box? Well, no, I was trying to be, you know, masculine a little bit. So anyway, I went a little longer and then I got done and then I couldn't fart. Oh, the worst. Yeah. And so then I'm just like all bloated and feeling terrible. And then I ran into the bathroom. This was at night. And so then my wife is like, what the hell are you doing? And, you know, I'm like, I gotta go. I mean, I better not chance it. Yeah. This is like, you know, some kind of fermented alcohol or something. Yeah. And I just let loose. And I had probably one of the biggest bowel movements at 11 o'clock I've ever had in my life. Wow. Yeah. It was bad. Jeez. You got to be okay. Yeah, I'm fine. You're going to be okay.I took a picture of it. I just wanted to tell you that it was somewhat painful. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, so this isn't easy, folks. You've got to hang in there, even with, you know, even with a major gas back up there. Let's talk about the wee fairies, shall we, Bob? Okay, hold on. Hold on a minute. I think I got a fairy coming out my butt. I got a honk, a brown snake out. Hold on. I, but it was, I was in pain. I was like, I was like, you know, I was like, you know, masking the pain. Yeah. So I don't know. I've never had that. I mean, I mean, Are you going to be okay? I don't know. I think I'll be fine. But I really don't like to poop out of time. So it was really disconcerting to me. Poop out of time. I am really quite a scheduled person. Oh, okay. All right. I know you're not. I know you would just, you know, you just like, I need a break from life for a moment. I'll go take a shit. That's you. Yeah.You're like, oh, this is too much. By the way, I got irritable bowel, folks, so I got to go take it. I have a very active system, so really not even like a choice at this point. Yeah, somebody would say an overactive system, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm very regimented, and so this was way off course, way off course. I've been trying to pinpoint, like, you know, because I do. Are you going to? Mm-hmm. are you gonna do like animals before the show now? So you're like No, I'm not. I don't think i'm going to do that. I don't think i've gone to that level. You're not gonna be like the coffee? It was really quiet way and then my wife's worried about me because this is so totally unusual you know she never poops after 10. I just don't know what's wrong with them. I don't poop after like six what are you talking about? Oh.Give me a break. I'm telling you. I used to be more regimented. Actually, I'm very loose right now compared to before. I think this guy's got an Excel worksheet going. I used to. I used to really be on a really tight schedule. I was on a ski vacation as a young man, and I actually won the contest of who pooped on the most occasions. I, that's not surprising whatsoever. And I beat three other people that were with me, so. Yeah, who were all. Hands down. Overeaters. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hands down. I won that. Hands down. They're like constant greasy food and you still. Yeah. Excuse me, guys. Yeah. They're like, you know, bottles of castor oil or something, trying to get things through their system.I don't think they committed. I mean, you got to want it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, I know you, you, there's some affinity for the bathroom with you. You really do. It's like your safe place. I mean, uh, I can't run a marathon though, but man, you give me like an, uh, like who can poop on the most occasions. I'll, I'll get you. I'll come. I'll come, man. I will. Oh my goodness. Was there some kind of, You were invited to either use your nose or sight if you were interested in proving it to others. I'm assuming that most people use their nose. Yeah. Yeah. No one came in and actually saw it. Oh, thank God. I actually have a picture of a friend charting. I think we had like a paper plate up on the wall. A paper. How apropos. And…I will black out his face, but yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. I will post this picture. Send it to me. It'll be the show. I will. All right. I'll make sure that he doesn't have… You don't disclose his person. I won't disclose… You don't like this person, but let's just leave it at that. Who of your friends do I like? No, I mean, you really… Oh, it's that guy. Yeah, that guy. Yeah. Okay. That's all you need to know. Yeah. Oh, my God. That guy. Yeah. Yeah. Just leave it at that. Okay. We're divorced now. So, yeah. Well, he deserved to be. He was like in an abusive relationship with everyone he knew, including himself. Pretty much. Yeah. I, yeah, I have not seen this guy. Total ass....

Bob seems to be at a loss, while Miles listens to his family's odd exams.

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Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

if you bake it at the right place it'll make noise Hey, everybody. Welcome to Static. This is Bob. Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Welcome to Static. We're on the air. We're on the air. We're on the air everywhere. We're on the air to who knows where. When you get three together in a car… You never know what hijinks will happen. Ouch, get off my balls. Fraternity vacation. That's like the 80s movie announcer guy. Okay. Don't you remember that voice? She just wanted to play football, but they wouldn't let her. Now she's just one of the guys. No, you don't remember this? No, I like the other guy. In a world where… In a world. Yeah. In a world. I can't do that voice as well, though. I can do the kooky, you know, these are the girls of hot. It was a private school. Terry Vane. Miles was trying to…peek in the windows, and they caught him in the act. I would not condone that. Oh, please, yes. It's filthy and disgusting. I think I should do a tutorial of your creepy stand-by-the-bathroom move that you used to do all the time. You think? Yeah, where you have your hands in your… pockets sticking your crotch out standing by the woman's bathroom that's me that's right when i rubbed up against you don't don't you want me yeah yeah You don't want to talk about those days, huh? I really don't even know what you're referring to. Oh, come on. Indulge in that. Talk about retconning your past. I mean, you've talked about it on here before, and now all of a sudden, well, you know, this is the new universe. I call it the Miles 2 universe. Yeah, I'm cleaning up my act. Yeah. What are you, up for something or a ward? Yeah, I'm just cleaning up my act, right? So what?Yeah, okay. I'm rewriting my history. Well, I guess you're allowed to do that. Just saying. You can do that if you want. Yeah. So do you have a story tonight? I'm trying to think of mine. I had two stories last week, and I told one, and I can't remember what the other one was now. I have a story. Well, go right ahead, sir. I have a story. Hey, um. Is there anybody getting ladders out there? I'm going to the sorority house later tonight. That wasn't really my story, but yeah. Oh, okay. Uh, I went to like kind of a family gathering over the weekend. And, uh, my mom and sister had gone down south for the winter and they came back and they were,Chicago area so I could see them. I felt bad for my mom because there was really a lot of dirty talk going on. A lot of dirty talk? What kind of dirty talk was happening? It was a lot of stuff being told. Can you give me an example? My niece shared that she had actually seen my aunt's topless on at least two occasions outside sunbathing. Oh, really? Which I found a little bit disturbing because my aunt had like 10 kids. I can't even imagine. Her name wasn't Bessie or anything, was it? No. What's the name of that Borden character? I thought it was Bessie. Oh, isn't it Bessie or something? Yeah, that's what I thought. No, a lot of things were revealed. So, I mean, how long ago was this? Like yesterday? Well, my aunt's been dead for a few years. Okay. It was not yesterday. Like I've got your lineage here in front of me and I'm looking at it. When my niece was a younger lady. Okay. Anyway.Well, she's trying to air out her areola. Yeah, right. And then somehow, you know, there's always like these horrible stories about me growing up. Were you running around naked? No, no one actually knows that story. Oh, okay. I've only actually told you that. Oh. So there's a horrible story of me actually driving a golf cart into the side of my dad's car, his brand new Cadillac. As a child. Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. These are all just random thoughts that happen, by the way. That's the dirty talk? Well, no. Okay, we're going to do that. Were you fondling yourself with this? No, no, no. Well, okay, I'm not really into the dirty talk, I thought. But basically, I had like… No, but I, it's a long story, but basically i was blamed for it because i was actually driving and all that. And now my brother, my brother's like, well, Hey, I didn't want to tell you this, but i actually, I hit the gas. Oh, he's the one that made you go into the car. And I just steered it in the car because i flipped out, man. I was like a little kid, you know i didn't i didn't even i just steered right into the car. I'm like, I was like in therapy for 10 years over that, man. Thanks a lot, really jerk. freakingIs this the brother that pays for everything? My brother? Huh? Your brother that takes you on road trips and pays for everything? Yeah. Well, I have one brother. Well, I'm just checking. So, yeah. Okay, so let's get the dirty talk. I didn't even know you had a topless aunt until tonight. I didn't know either. Yikers. Yeah, let's go play hide and seek outside. Mm-hmm. She's dropping her top. I know. I don't even want to think about it. I just hang out the bottom anyway. Yeah, right. Gross. These two tops aren't as tight as I thought. Everyone's got some weird medical story they're bringing up. Of course, I have all sorts. I was going to say, you're one to talk. And, like, my brother had something wrong with him last year, and, like, he had to have, like, some kind of instrument, like, you know, stuck up his pee hole so they could look at something and he was saying how horrible that was. What were they looking for up there? He was having some issues they were looking for something. I don't know. I, uhI had some anal beads and I used them on the wrong end. I think they're called bed. Oh, whatever. And, uh, so he's talking about that. You know, this is all in front of my mom now. Right. Your mom knows about all this. Right. Then like my younger niece is talking about what she had when she was a young, well, I don't know, in high school or something, she had to have a physical and, uh, she, uh, the doctor was a lady and, you know, she's checking things out. She goes, well, we just to be safe, we better do a rectal on, on my niece, on your niece. Okay. Yeah. And she was like a, you know, like in high school or something. Hmm. And she's like, what's that? Like, she was not, yeah, she was not ready for that. You know? Yeah. I would imagine that would be a shocker. Yeah. Well, no, she didn't get the shocker. Yeah. It was a halfway there for the shocker, but,Okay. But so these stories are getting like more and more disturbing, you know. So what was going on with that? I mean, why would you? I don't know. She still goes, I don't know why she had to do that. Why would she want to do that to a girl? I don't know. You all have the same doctor? I don't know. No, no, no, no, no. Family doctor, Dr. McGivens. McGivens. He's McGiven me. The rectal exam. Dr. Durfee. All right, so that's my younger niece. And then my older niece is like, oh, I can beat that. She goes, I had to have a physical. Oh, it's a one-upmanship. Yeah, these are getting progressively worse, right? So now my older niece is like, yeah, I had to basically get checked out because I had to have a sports physical in high school. She goes, basically, all I had on was a paper gown.And the doctor comes up with a kind of bizarre request. He goes, I want you to get off that table, and I want you to walk around as if you were a duck. A duck? Yes. Okay. Did she have to quack? No, she didn't have to quack, right? Everyone's like, what in the fuck? Did he… Did he misplace an instrument and he was hoping it would fall out or what? I have no idea. No one could quite understand what that was about. I was like, I don't know. I've never heard of that. Trust me. This is totally legitimate. It's the walk like a duck diagnosis. I'm just going to call in a few of my friends to watch this. So hold on. It's called Green Acres Syndrome. And I think you got it. Yeah.So that happens, right? Did she do it? Yeah, she said, oh, yeah. The doctor said, well, who are you going to question? What are you going to say? No, I'm not doing it. Be like, can you explain what the point of this is? I mean, don't you trust your doctor? The doctor said, okay, get up. I usually don't. I'm not doing that. Oh, yeah, you would. Walk like a duck. Walk like a duck. Wait, I'm going to play some 50s doo-wop while you do this. Yeah. I'm going to get up my Polaroids and hold on. Is there any chance you could walk like a duck on that mirrored floor over there? That's not right. That is not right. You said it. Oh, my God. Your weird family with their crazy medical support there. Oh, my God. We were laughing so hard, right? I go, what can beat this story? Nothing. What did your mom say then? Nothing. She was going to pipe up and talk about some crazy ass thing. I think she was on her fifth glass of wine. Oh, okay. Yeah.She's mixing her wine with her oxy again, I think. Yeah, exactly. The doctor says, I had to be a pigeon. So you're like, okay, nothing's going to pop that. He goes, why aren't your breasts as tan as your sister's? I didn't know what he was talking about. Yeah. Oh, my God. These are horrible stories. It's horrible. You're going to need to get some more sun there, Mrs. Tidal. You need a little more vitamin D, if you know what I'm saying. You need the D. You definitely need the D. My aunt dated well into her 80s. Who? Who? wasn't she married at some point no no no she got divorced after she had 10 kids, the same gentleman. I think there's a little late on the divorce, though. She probably should have stopped you know a couple just a couple in. Was she the one? She wasn't the one that sent you postcards, was she? No, that was my great aunt. Oh, okay. That was a great guy i always get confused again umYeah. Well, I have a big family. The title family tree is more like a rosebush. Yeah....

Fairies

Rob and Bob try to pierce the veil and enter the realm of the Faries. With limited success.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlDi4djFyiQ

Miles finally takes Bob's advice and likes it, while Bob is mesmerized by the differently abled.

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Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

Static. Hey everybody, welcome to the show. This is Bob. Hey everyone, this is Miles with some really cool animation. Really cool animation, yeah, that's true. I just was watching your animation. It looked pretty cool. Yeah, it was alright. We did alright there. Yeah, we did a good job. Yeah. So, yeah. A little bit of a different thing today because of what's going on here. Oh, I didn't really mean to use that picture. Oh, wow. No one knows who that is. They can't change it now. Yeah. Well, he'll never listen to this, so no one needs to know who that is. True, true. Let's not even mention it. Yeah, we won't even talk about this. You mentioned it short round. yeah oh yeah i didn't mean to have short round on there either well tonight's been a trial by fire here, so uh we're having some technical issues, and so we're here dealing with it and yeah we're gonna make it happen. That's all there is to it that's that's what we do apparently that's yeah it's really the only thing we have going for us.Is making it happen. That's us. We make it happen. Make it happen. Well, somebody makes it happen. Yeah. We're glad you made it here and you're listening and I hope you're relaxed. Yeah. Ready to laugh. Get ready. I hope you're ready to laugh. Let's use our imaginations. Yes. Um, so, you know, it's been, I realized that, uh, The delivery was a day late last week, but anything you want to mention? Oh, yeah, right. That you lost a bet and you did that Welch, which I was surprised at. And you sent me a gift card to Chick-fil-A, which I had never been to before. Yeah, that's hard to believe, but I guess there's not. You live further north than I do. Yeah, they don't have much here. It used to be that Chick-fil-A's didn't come above the Mason-Dixon line. Yeah. But now they're everywhere. It was good. I enjoyed it. It was very good. Yeah. And if people don't know what the Mason-Dixon line is, you can look it up on Google or something. Yeah, Google it. Google it. Google it, dummy. Google it. Google it.so yeah i know and and apparently it was so good that you ate it again. Uh, no. Oh, I thought you got a free sandwich. And so you went again. No, we, uh, this is not my story, but, uh, we, uh, my wife's like, let's order it online and um you know, you can just go pick it up. I'm like, okay, what could go wrong? Right. What could go wrong? And, uh, so i'm all, I have like 100 questions and she's like, well, just, you know, show the kid you're you know, tell them what you're up to. And I'm like, okay, well, I talked to this kid who's in this like plastic box or something that's where he's like free that's where they keep all the employees and the quick chick-fil-a is in plastic boxes like it's like a john travolta movie. Like, oh, wow, this is like really cool. Boy in the plastic bubble. Yeah.Like, can I help you, sir? I'm like, yeah, I'm here. Oh, all right. And my wife said something like, well, they're going to make it as soon as like you announce your presence there. They'll start. Right. Yeah. It's like you go to the drive-thru before you go to the drive-thru. Yeah. And, uh, so the drive-thru was going like really quick. I'm like, wow, this is like, next thing I know I'm like up in like this receiving area, you know? Ah, yeah. And, uh, And it's like, oh, you're here for Daisy Piles. I'm like, yes, that's right. It's my wife, Daisy Piles. Daisy Piles, yeah. And she's like, oh, okay, all right. And she keeps bringing out bags of food, but it's for, like, the people behind me. Right, yeah. And so, like, three or four cars go by. I'm, like, just looking at her with sad eyes, like, where's my nanny? Where's my chick-fil-A?And she's like, oh, oh, oh, well, you wanted the spicy chicken, huh? Oh, yeah. Which I knew was my son's order because my son never gets what he orders because they're always out, you know, wherever he goes. He's got this black cloud following him. They're like, oh, well, that's going to be at least 10 minutes. We got to make it spicy. I'm like, well, I don't know. I'll tell you what, if you make it a regular one, I'll just give you a free coupon. Oh, wow. So I got the boy a free coupon. And then Mr. Dealmaker is like, done. Make it two. You know, I had to wait here an awfully long time. I'm a fat guy, and I'm sitting in drive-thru. I was going to go back to the home and play cribbage with all my friends. No, I can't. Yeah. Well, hey, that's all right. So how did you like it? Did you enjoy it?Well, I guess he didn't get his spicy sandwich. It was a 15-1, 15-2. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, it was good. I enjoyed it. I got a regular sandwich, and it was good. Really? Oh, wow. A few days after that, I had Cane's, and I'm going to have to say right now that I'm glad I had the Chick-fil-A first. Oh, really? Cane's can be hit or miss. I mean, it wasn't horrible, but it's like night and day. I'm like, wow. Yeah. I love the Chick-fil-A better than the Cane's, I would say. Like Cane's, I'm like, I could have probably went to Wendy's and got a similar. Oh, really? Yeah. Sandwich. Okay. Well, I just, I just wanted to get your reaction there. And also, I wanted to make sure everybody heard that I did not, I did not, you know, I paid. Welch. I paid up. Could you use the word Welch? No, I don't like to use that word. I do.Can you just say that like, hey, I did not Welch? I believe it's racist. What? That's racist. I have no idea why Welch is racist, but I believe it is. I don't know anything about that. Yeah. It's racist against Raquel Welch. Oh, okay. All right. Or sexist or misogynist. I don't know. One of those. Okay. Well, as long as it makes sense to somebody. So anyway, thank you. Okay. you helped feed my family, so thank you. Yeah, and uh apparently yeah i fed more than just you, so maybe i should have got a lesser gift card. Hey, it's your fault, dude It's my fault okay oh well oh well whatever yeah well i went out to lunch recently and had what I would call an interesting experience. Okay. So my wife is like, come take me out to lunch. That's usually what happens. If I say, I would really like to go to lunch, she's like, no, we're not eating out. That's a dumb idea. Yeah, but then she'll send me a note and say, hey, come pick me up, we'll go to lunch. So we went to this…like the subway for pizza where they make the pizza in front of you, a little pizza. You ever seen this? Oh, no. No, there's a bunch of different ones. This one's called, what is it called? Chartreuse. Chartreuse. No, there's one called Blaze. And then this one is called something. I can't remember the name of it now. Damn. But anyway, so you go there and you can get salad or a pizza or both and they're just little pizzas, right? And so then they make them like you would a Subway, like a subway sandwich, but it's a pizza. You know, they put the, they flatten out the dough and they put the sauce on and the whole work. Is this like one of those easy bake oven things or something like they're really small like a they have a big oven. It's a nice oven and so um well she's like, let's go get pizza but sureSo we go there and we've been there several times, but it's never the best experience. I mean, it tastes fine and everything, but it takes a while because whenever you're in line with people having to make choices, for some reason, there's a lot of people in the world that don't know what they want. I mean… They made the choice to go there. They made the choice to have a pizza. And then when they get to the line, it's as if they just discovered they've been dropped out of a black hole onto that spot. Is the sausage really spicy? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, I don't know. Well, I don't know if I like it. Yeah. Can I try some? No. Can you put some raw sausage into my mouth?I guess. Trichinosis, lady. So, yeah. So, it always takes a while. Well, today, the day we went, there was nobody there. So, it was fantastic. President's Day. No, we didn't go today. We went last week or something. Oh, you fooled me. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. So, I'm like, oh, this is great. So, we walk up. But then… Now we have the, you know, well, I'm the manager. I shouldn't be making the pizza situation. Oh, yeah. So then she's like, hold on a minute. I need to get, you know, I need to, you know, do the schedule. I don't know what the hell she was doing. So she calls this other guy from the back up to make the pizza. Yeah. He's like, okay, I'll be there in just a minute. This is lunchtime. I'm like, who?The rush. Yeah. It's like lunchtime. We don't have a plan here, folks? Just a minute. I got to unclog the toilet. Hold on. Yeah, exactly. I'll be right up. So then she flags this other guy who's a very nice gentleman. Comes up and he's, you know, what do you want? And so we tell him and he starts making our pizza. I'm standing there and I'm like, wait a minute. There's something that's not quite what it seems. Okay. So he goes through the process and he's, what kind of sauce do you want? What kind of toppings do you want? All that kind, just like you go down the line and everything, right? And he's making this pizza and And I'm like staring at him making the pizza, trying to figure out what's going on. Yeah. Because they wear gloves. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, right. Yeah, they wear gloves. And so, but one of his gloves looks peculiar. Oh. Yeah. Like Michael Jackson? Like that glove? Yeah, exactly.Yeah, now he, so he's, and then I, Don's on me. He's only got one hand. And, and the other hand, he's got a glove on, but there's no fingers. Now, the funny thing is, is we do this whole thing, me and my wife and, And, you know, with me, it's, you know, there's nothing. He did a fantastic job. It's not him. Right....

A Happy Moment

Bob talks to Dan from A Happy Moment about film, podcasting, life, and who knows what else.

A Happy Moment

https://youtube.com/live/pyYVU7IZkUs

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Hey, everybody, and welcome to a conversation with Dan from a Happy Moment podcast. Hey, Dan, how's it going? Good, Bob. How are you doing today? I'm pretty good. Well, today's been kind of a day, I'll tell you. I'll be honest with you. I was busy all day long, and then now this is my relaxing time. So hopefully it'll be happy for both of us going through all this. What do you think? Hey, every time I've talked to you so far, it's been a happy moment. Oh, good. All right. So Dan does a show called Happy Moment. And how long have you been doing that now, Dan? Roughly two years. I took a small break in between there, but going on about two years now. And I've got about close to 100 episodes. Oh, wow. Okay. And what was kind of the antithesis? Like, were you just sitting around one day and you're just like, you know what would be good for me to do?Have a show or how did it come about? I just wanted to try it as kind of a challenge to myself. I've always been kind of a quiet person. You know, I was in high school. I was voted the quietest. Really? That was a category? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it was. I didn't know that. Okay. At least at my school. Okay. So you kind of used it as a way to do something a little bit different that was a little bit out of your normal regular day or whatever, regular routine. Yeah. Yeah. Just kind of a, and also just kind of like a creative outlet. Okay. So how's it, I mean, whenever you started doing it, like I think you told me you concentrate mostly on,Uh, movies, uh, wrestling and pop culture or one of those maybe i made up. I can't remember now. No, I, I do a lot of, uh, movies, books, uh, gaming, wrestling. Those are probably the main ones oh okay well that there's my pop culture, movies, books, gaming. That's all on the right track. Yeah. Yeah. We could, we could crunch that into pop culture. Uh, So that's interesting. So then you decided you're going to do this in order to do kind of, I guess, break out of your shell a little bit from being the most quiet guy. Has it worked? Yeah. I'd say there's been varying degrees of success. I mean, the first thing I wanted to accomplish was just to see if I could even pull it off.And as I, as I just mentioned, I've got close to a hundred episodes, so I I'd say I'm definitely pulling it off. And yeah, I would say overall it's, it's probably, it's helped me a little bit. I'm kind of introverted by, by nature, but you know, this, this helps kind of get me out there a little bit more and, you know, it's good practice talking to a variety of people. So yeah, I'd say it's working, yeah. Oh, good. Well, I just was wondering, because that's what you said was kind of the push for it. So you kind of want it to work. Otherwise, you're like, well, what am I doing this for? But I will tell you, as a personal aside here, you probably won't believe it, but I'm a fairly introverted person as well. And doing these kind of things has helped tremendously.And in fact, um, I'm trying to think what it was now. It's had to be about 10 more. It's been more than 10 years ago anyway. So, uh, but anyway, I, I, it has helped me with doing public speaking. So I don't have to do it like with any regularity or anything like that, but because of doing shows, podcasts for a long time, um, I have been called at times to be up in front of an audience and an audience of hundreds of people. And they say, you know, if you read anything about that, they're like, that's one of the worst fears. And by doing this, I've been able to, you know, pull that off and, you know, more than once. And it went pretty well, I would say.Overall. So, you know, maybe there's something to it. I think maybe you're on the right track basically is what I'm getting at with doing this in order to kind of, you know develop that skill because it is a skill. I don't think people you know, nowadays it's hard. It's a little bit harder because so many people do this kind of thing. But once you do it for a while, it really is a skill in order to kind of talk off the top of your head on topic so Kudos to you for giving it a shot and making a go of it and accomplishing it. Fantastic. Thank you. One thing, when I do an interview with someone, a lot of the times I feel like it comes pretty naturally. But the one area I still struggle with is when I…Most of my episodes are interviews, but I also do a few shorter solo episodes, usually like a horror review or a game review. And when I do a solo episode, I cannot just start talking about a topic off the top of my head. I have to script everything out to the word. Really? Yeah, or else when I'm recording, I'll be stumbling and stuttering, and it'll take me like an hour to record a 10 minute video so everything has to be scripted out when I'm by myself that's interesting well here I'm going to give you another hint for that so I a friend of mine, his name is Frank Nora, and he's a long time podcaster out of New Jersey. And he does a thing called the overnight scape if if anybody wants to take a listen to it. And he does monologues. That's all he does. He only talks monologues.He doesn't do interviews or anything, really. And he only does monologues. And he generally does them while he's walking around New York City because he works in New York City. And it's fascinating. And I've done that. Actually, I did a show on his network for a while called Morning Commute, where I would talk on my… This is pre-COVID. When I talk on my morning commute into work, where I used to drive into work for about 35, 40 minutes… And I did a show for a few years just doing that. It is so difficult to do that, to talk on your own without having somebody as a sounding board and so forth. But if you can do it, you know, if you can kind of, you know, force yourself into it, it really is a whole other skill to be able to just launch into things and so forth. And so, I mean, keep working at it. I think you'll get there. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I think you'll get there because…But if you listen to Frank, it's so natural for him. His show is based off of a show that was actually in the 60s and 70s. I'm blanking on his name here. Gene Shepard is the name. He was a radio DJ in New York City. He ended up writing the Christmas Story movie. That's his real claim to fame. But before he did any of that, he was a radio host and he would make up these stories on air. And one of those stories was about the Red Ryder BB gun. And he ended up fleshing that out into a book. And then it became a movie. And that's really what he's famous for. But it's based on Gene Shepard's monologues. And his monologues were just telling stories about his childhood and things like that. And so, you know, it really is fascinating to,that style is a whole style unto itself. And I don't think there's a lot of folks who do that, like, regularly. But, you know, it's a whole other genre, I would say. So I would, you know, for yourself and whoever else wants to, go listen to The Overnightscape and listen to Frank. He's a real nice guy, and he generally has lots of interesting things to say. Some of them are… like thought experiments and he'll just kind of launch into a monologue about what he's thinking about. And it really is fascinating to, to listen to originally I started listening because I enjoyed hearing the sounds of New York City in the background, which is kind of weird. I mean, I was listening to him, but, but it was fascinating to hear that he's walking down like he's in Times Square and,and you can hear Times Square in the background while he's talking, and he'll pause and so forth. To me, it was just kind of one of those wild experiences because you don't get to go to Times Square every day, but he does. It did, at least. So the monologues are a little tough for you, but the interviews seem to be going pretty good, huh? Sorry, I went off on a whole tangent there. Oh, no, you're fine. I went off on my own monologue there. But I don't know. Give it a try. I mean, that's all you can do, right? Right. See what it's like. So would you want to – are you thinking that you want to go in that direction more? Or would you rather have the interaction? I probably lean towards sticking with mostly interviews. Yeah. Yeah.If you had to pick an interview that you had over your episodes that was the most interesting, can you name that one? Without making anybody else feel bad like myself? It doesn't have to be me. I'm just joking. I mean, I've like I've had so many great guests on the show. I mean, well, oh man. What's the first one that comes to your head? Just blurt it out. So I did an interview a few months ago with a fellow content creator. And we were talking all about uh horror movies and we did a look at our favorite horror movies throughout the decades and i had a lot of fun doing that um i mean i always enjoy talking horror movies but i mean we went through like a whole list of them and that was just a great time i learned a lot about new horror movies i hadn't heard of before uh so yeah i i put that at the that's definitely up thereWhat was their show or what was their name? Her name is Turbo Skeletron. That's the handle that she uses most places. Yeah, that's a good name. Yeah, she has a couple different YouTube channels. There's Discount Horror Store. That's one of them. And then Bard of Kryn is another one. That's more of a fantasy book related one. But the The Discount Horror is a horror channel that she does. Oh, cool. So when you talked about the decades, how far back are you going, do you think? So for my list, I really couldn't go back any earlier than the 1920s. Oh my, that's pretty far back. Well, you'd think so, but then she was able to touch on stuff going all the way back to the 1800s....

Miles causes trouble by texting, while Bob juggles money and his wardrobe.

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Jesus Christ, I'm down. Holy Christ. With a little love, we can work it out, baby. We can make the whole thing. Bring it in for a landing. Hey, everybody, welcome to the Psych Show, this is Bob. Hey, everybody, this is Brian. You always got to make fun of my intro every time. I do a long intro, you make fun, I do a short intro, you make fun of it. I want to be you. Yeah, it's just fun, fun, fun. I want to kill you and crawl inside of you as if you were a tauntaun. I've been working on Ed Gein's carousel this week. Yeah, yeah. It's my dream. I think I found a centaur subject. Centaur. So, yeah. Yep. There you go. Yeah. You know, I heard a little birdie told me might be somebody's birthday. Yes. Really? Okay. Yes. What are you hoping for your birthday this year? What do you want to get? That robotPamela Anderson dolly. We were talking about off there. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, the, you know, the future is paved with all kinds of interesting new gadgets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The, uh, I, I would say, you know, the thing to invest in is that, um, ultrasound goop, uh, You know, whenever you do an ultrasound, they put the… Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think that's going to skyrocket in the next 10 years. I like it heated. Thank you. Oh, you can have a little bottle warmer or something. Yes, I do. Oh, my gosh. So, is that, I mean, nothing else for your birthday? I have plans, but I don't really want to tell you. Oh, you don't want to tell me you're going to go out to dinner? I would imagine. I'll probably go out somewhere nice, yes. Diamond Dave's? Maybe, yeah. I'm going to go out to Crackle. Oh, Crackle. I love a Crackle's, man. I'm going to go to Decatur, go to Monocle's. Monocle's and Crackle's, two of my favorites. No, I don't know.I don't know. Who knows? Normally, you have a list. It would be like unfurling. Oh, this is what I'm looking for this year. I used to actually go up by Princeton, Illinois, where you can actually pick out and fry your own steak. Oh, yeah. What's the name of it? Is it Alexander's? No, it was… uh well i don't know if it worked i don't know if it still exists, but it was called prime Quarters. Oh, okay. There was a place in uh champaign urbana called alexander's that i used to go to the we did that had this giant grill, and yeah and you they you know you get your steak, and you throw it on. Or you could pay a guy to do it. No, come on. Or you do it yourself and and and then they had like all these baked potatoesYeah, it's salad, baked potatoes. Oh, man, that was good. Now I'm getting hungry. I thought that was kind of gone by the wayside. I thought that was like an 80s kind of thing. I haven't been there in so long, I don't even know if it exists. So you're thinking about going up there? I would do that. I would go to Mariska's. in the crust hill by joliet i would go to twin anchors in downtown chicago yeah um any of those are my favorite yeah i'm looking for prime quarters what did you say it was at princeton uh princeton it's right by the heart there still there prime quarter steak i have not been there in a long time long time it's closed currently uh because it's late but uh yeah it opens at five o'clock tomorrowWell, meet me there, and you can buy me steak. Okay. Yeah, I don't even know how fucking far away that is. Oh. But I would love to go. I can tell you that. I haven't been to a cook-your-own-steak place. It would be north of Bloomington, maybe northwest of Bloomington. You know, there used to be a place in Decatur called Michael's that was kind of like a low-rent Alexander's. Yeah. It was more like cook your own hamburger. Hey, don't worry about what the meat is. All right. It's cheap. Don't worry about what it is. Don't worry about mystery meat. Uh, don't worry about it. Like your mystery meat to be shaped. Uh, somebody ran this thing over last night. We ain't going to tell you nothing else. It was, it was never as good. I mean, you know, I don't know why, but yeah, I'm assuming that wasn't,grade A quality. I went there a few times too, but Alexander's was always better. I don't know why. Welcome to Alexander's. I didn't go out to dinner tonight, but I did have a bit of an adventure before we started talking. I'm listening. I'm just letting my dog outside before I go nuts. God forbid… These animals aren't taken care of. It's like your fucking sheep herder over there. I got to tend to the flock. If I could talk to the animals. It's like to do little. So we had a thing we had to go to tonight in the evening, which is unusual. And my wife's like, hey, we're going to be going down this one part of town. She's like, let's grab all the change and go cash it in before we go to this appointment. What? Yeah. So we had all this change. Like, do you guys save your change at all? I do. Yeah. I'm making fun of you actually. Well, I didn't. I mean, and I was like, okay. I'm like, sure. I'm game for that. And she's like, you know, and then all of a sudden,this is her idea, and then it becomes my responsibility. Go to coin star right she's like where's the where's the best coin star on the way oh i don't know. So I start looking it up, and then, you know, I'm trying to do this uh on my phone as we're gathering up the coinage, and it's not working right, and i keep fumbling my fan and like it you know i can't find anything. So I'm like, I had to sit down here at the computer to, uh, like zone in because their app is not, their, uh, website's not very, you know, mobile friendly. Right. And, and so I'm like, she's, I'm like, well, we could go to the Walmart and she's in and she's like, Oh, okay. I go, no, I don't want to go there. Oh, father. Yeah. Because it's, I mean, it's either going to be like three deep with people with ashopping carts full of change or, or there's going to be like some guy who's just like staring you down, hoping that you you know miss a drop something. Yeah. So we ended up going to this other place that had a coin star where there was nobody, you know? Yeah. And, uh, but she's, so then she's like, okay, we're gonna go and we try to take separate cars for various reasons that i won't go into. and And so then she gives me all the change. And I'm like, and so now I'm juggling like several containers of change. Is it like call clip containers and stuff? Well, no, one was like a Mason jar. And one was, looks like some kind of real bad, uh,rummage sale version of Aladdin's lamp. And that thing, I swear to God, trying to hold that was like trying to hold a thing of jello. Everything, the handles were loose, the base was loose there was no lid, so then it kept tipping and the change kept falling out. And I was like, God damn, this thing is so hard to hold on to it's so but so I get in the car. Of course, Aladdin's lamp pours change all over the seat. Yeah. And then I had to clean it up and then we're driving and we get to the place with the coin star. And, and then I get out and I'm, I'm like literally this, this lamp thing. Just, it's like, it cannot be held. It wasn't greasier. It had handles, but the handle would like flop around like randomly. And yeah,and i'm like who in the hell puts all their chains in this, in this crazy brass, you know, it looks kind of nice, but it's like a piece of it's not functionable no it's not it's not functionable exactly yeah yeah so i'm you know, my pants are falling down. I'm trying to hold all this change i need to buy a belt. Yeah. Well, I hate wearing a belt. I hate it. And so I don't wear a belt because I don't, you know, have to go out that much. And so I'm never wearing a belt. Yeah. No, I start walking and then my pants start going down. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm trying to hold all this change and pull up my pants and my wife's like skipping along. And he puts it in his pockets and he's really screwed. Well, no, my pocket's already full of my pants.like the stuff I need to carry, like my wallet, my keys. And I picture you having like some huge key ring with like 20 keys. I do have a, I did have my, yeah, my, my everything key ring was with me because, Oh God. Yeah. And I don't, since I've been a kid, I never put my wallet in my back pocket. Oh, you're not supposed to. Yeah. I'm always worried about getting pickpocket ever since I was a child. And so, I always have these wallets that aren't really wallets, but they go on your front pocket. Yeah. So I got that going on. I got this big ring of keys. I'm juggling change. I got Aladdin's lamp and, uh, we make it into the coin star finally. And, you know, barely with my pants, like hanging off sideways and stuff. And it's on the ground. Yeah. And then, and then I had this one thing. It was a mason jar. The,i got and it's got a lid and when you put the coins in it counts them it counts the money oh yeah that thing for little kids yeah yeah exactly it's for little kids but i still got it so yeah i was like i want to see if it's the same amount as what it says oh geez and so she's you know she's like okay she's like okay you know bobby and so she pours in that first so that i can, and then, you know, she's feeding it in. She does all the, all the fun stuff. I just schlep shit around and try not to, you know, expose myself in public yeah right and uh so she's and then you know, it's going, you ever do those coin star things yeah and then she's getting ready to put the other in. I go, wait, I haven't seen if it's the right amount. Oh my God.This is the whole, the whole exercise is that I want to see if it matches the lid. I would murder you. I mean, like I'm fricking hungry and I got to wait for this dumb ass. I would murder you. And so, uh, so we wait and it settled in. It was $8 off, believe it or not. Oh, the, the jar said it had $38 and like 52 cents or som

User Friendly

William from User Friendly stops by to discuss how the show started, where it's going, and, of course, various rabbit holes along the way.

User Friendly

https://youtube.com/live/hY8kANKUteE

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Hey, everybody, and welcome to this conversation with, would you go by Bill? I have William here. So William from UserFriendly. William or Bill. I mean, either way, people call me worse, so either helps, but usually Bill. But Bill, okay. So Bill from UserFriendly. And I was going to butcher your last name here. Is it, would I say Sickens or Sykens? No, it's Sickens. You got it spot on. Oh, okay. Because sometimes whenever you have the, you know, Sometimes people have a long vowel on their name for whatever reason. So I didn't want to get it wrong. No worries. Spot on. But Bill has a program called User Friendly, which you can find here at userfriendlyshow.com. It's also on the radio in Portland and Seattle. Am I right? That's correct. Yeah.Oh, wow. So that was just out of memory. Go figure. I should have looked that up beforehand, but I didn't. So I was just yanking it out of my head. No worries. You had it right. So why look it up? That's right. So but I've been on Bill's show a few times and I thought, would it be fun to sit down and talk a little bit about his journey to doing these kind of things? So my first question, Bill, would be user friendly. How did it start? Well, you know, it's kind of a fun story. We started back in 2013. So this is our 12th year doing the show. And the funny thing about it is, is this whole thing started in my kitchen. At the time, I lived in Reno, Nevada, and we would have friends over every week to do tabletop role playing. And one night we got done and, you know, somebody said this would make a goodtopic for doing a podcast at the time, but podcasting was really a new thing back in the day. So it's like, well, okay, well, you know, we'll think about it. And then I worked in the, you know, business community and everything like that. And kind of threw the idea around and had one of the local radio stations come back and say, Hey, well, if you want to do technology at the time, that's what it was. We would love to give you a go. So a few weeks later, I end up with a schedule and we're on the air on a very small station. But still, you know, it's where we started. Half hour format at the time. And I think we did eight or nine episodes of that. And that was how we got started. So on the air in Reno? In Reno, yeah. Yeah. At the time. Oh, that's cool. So you were talking about role playing game and then you're saying thatbut how did you get from role-playing games into technology as a general thing? Cause it seems, I mean, there's some connection there, but it's not direct. Oh, it's not even indirect. I mean, I guess today you could argue a connection maybe with some of the tools and stuff, but at the time, no, it was definitely very much two different things. And that's why it's also a little bit odd how that came into being. So a little bit of a background on that. I've since ago, 1998 have run a technology company and, um, as a career as a software engineer and do some things like that in addition to our show. So that's where the technology end of it came from. That's what I was kind of known for in the area. But it was and is a very niche audience. There's a lot of people that are interested in technology, but it is very specific. And in today's world, doing a podcast, it would work a lot better just because anybody around the world that is interested can listen that you're not limited to who happens to tune in on the air that week.Right. But what happened is, is like i say, we're new role-playing games and, uh, on a hobby side, do cosplay and go to the comic cons and all this kind of stuff. And we were at a comic-con that was put on at the time by a steve wozniak in san Jose, California. Um, that was a comic-con that combined pop culture and technology. So our team decided if apple can do it, so can we. And at the time, you know i mean yeah of course why not go with the winners? Right. Yeah. So, That's what Microsoft said for the Zune. The what? No, I'm kidding. Yes. There have been a few things like that out there. But in this case, you know, and this isn't the Apple Lisa either, if you've ever heard of that. You know, but it was an idea to be able to blend the two together. And they wanted us to go to an hour format at the time. And so I proposed it. And let's give it a go and give it a try. And it worked quite well. So that's what we've been doing since then.So we covered both topics. And as time has gone by, they have blended a lot more together. So the role playing gaming side of it certainly can include video games and all of that type of a thing. And the technology side of that's pretty self-explanatory. But having the two together has really benefited. I think our audience likes it a lot better. And I get that because our numbers went up when we started doing that. And it's a lot more enjoyable to do because there's a lot more material to be able to pull from to present. Right, yeah, so you have a bigger pool, right? Can I ask, what game were you playing? Were you playing Dungeons & Dragons or was it a different role? Of course it was Dungeons & Dragons for everybody, right? Well, there's a lot of other ones, so it could have been something else. Yeah, and I footnote that. I actually do play a lot of different games, but at the time it was Dungeons & Dragons specifically.And we had just the one technology blend is we had gotten this app on our smart speaker. I won't say the name to activate everybody's here, but our smart speaker and that would actually do dice rolls and give you some of the rules back. So we were playing with that. And that's part of what came into this could be a good idea. So there was a little bit of technology, very early version of it, but yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's cool though. That's so fun that you're just kind of, you're like, Hey, why don't we do this? And then you just, Go and do it. But it sounds like as far as your background, though, you're a bit entrepreneurial, I'm guessing. So you said software. And so are you the boss? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And like I say, I do both sides of it. If I attempted to live on what I did get on doing the show, not so much now, but in the beginning, I certainly would have been in a very different situation. So I needed to have both. But that's where I started.my career was, you know, doing software design. Originally, we had a store in a mall in Reno that sold hardware, and that's where that started. And then kind of morphed out of that, and over the years, dropped the hardware part of it, just went to software, and now we do software robotics. But that end of it definitely gave a lot of exposure to the technology side of things. And a lot of people don't talk about it well. So one of the things we seem to be able to do is take subjects that were normally in the clouds and explain it and discuss it in a way where that everybody could relate to it and understand what it was. And that is really what kind of keyed into all of this in the very beginning. Oh, yeah. So exactly. I think everybody gets, you know, my guess is, you know, just from, you know, my knowledge base, they're like, oh, talk to Bill. He'll fix your computer for you. And then you became that guy, right? So you're the guy that knows these answers and everybody kind of comes to you and does that. ButIt's not necessarily all their questions aren't overly complicated. It's just they just don't click with it, right? But, yeah, bringing it to the masses like that I think is a very good thing. I mean, at this point, we're all going in that direction. I do find it funny, though, Bill, that so I have children, and so I've been involved in technology research. from the early days when you mentioned Lisa, yes, from even earlier than Lisa. But it seems like today's kids or even young people, whatever you want to say, don't have the same immersion. So I was totally immersed in all this because it was all happening, right? So everything was coming up. Everything was happening. I was curious and so forth. But now it seems like everybody's more, and kind of reflects your show, a user, right? So they don't get into the background of things. If it doesn't work, then they don't think about it. Do you find that's the case now? Yeah, absolutely. And it's a change that we've seen just kind of in the industry, really. Because back in what you're talking about, Apple, Lisa, and I started with things like 8-bit Atari computers and Commodore 64 and all of that. Yeah.You were encouraged in that time that you got the computer, you figured out how to plug it in and turn it on, and you got a ready prompt. And if you didn't know what to do with it, it didn't do anything, right? Right, exactly. You had to program it. How to program it, how to modify it. All these kind of things were encouraged. You look at the original Apple IIs and those type of things, the same thing. Now, fast forward to now, and it's like the hardware is being designed from a standpoint that they don't want you to touch it. And so it does change very much. how people look at and deal with things. I think the other side of it too, is back in that time period, having even a computer at home and some of these things was not the norm. And now today we all carry one in our pocket and it's just part of life. And it doesn't really matter what industry you work in or anything, you're gonna be dealing with technology. So it's just kind of part of the world and you just deal with it. So yes, it is a fundamental change in the way that people interact and work with these things.And over the years, our shows kind of followed that because a lot at the very beginning, you know, and I'm sure like you, a lot of our programming is based on the feedback from our listeners and that type

Bob gets shown up at the UPS store, while Miles talks inappropriately to his mail carrier.

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Do-do-do-do-do-do. Hey everybody, welcome to Psychs, this is Bob. Hey now, this is Miles with Static Radio. Hey now, hey now. Hey now. Hey now, Hank. We should do an episode where we just like sing the whole frickin' episode, you know, like a half an hour of just… Well, if you put it together, we sing too much. Yeah. I told you… We should do comedy karaoke where you just make up your own words and they're funny. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I do. Hopefully they're funny, but maybe they're not. Yeah. Maybe they're just sick and twisted and nasty. That's all my nicknames. For instance, I think you would have a song called Saved by Facebook. Maybe I will win. I seen a breastfeeding video. It was lonely Saturday night. I wasn't feeling right. Save my Facebook.Too silly. Too silly. Stop the sketch. Too silly. Oh, my goodness. We've just been having too much fun. It's too much fun. Sure. Say it by Facebook. You know, any song that you think of, you could twist pretty good into being some kind of weird sexual thing, I think. Yeah. I can't stop this feeling. In my pants tonight. When you look at me. With your fingers deep inside. Begging you girls easy. When I hold you. And I'm really still. We'll work on that concept a little bit. I look forward to coming to a feed near you. Hey, everybody. If you have a favorite song, just call in to Static Radio. It sounds like… There used to be a great show called Make Me Laugh with Bobby Vann. Oh, Bobby Vann. Yeah, jeez. Show me a Coke. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. That reminds me of something that Bobby Vann would host. Comedy karaoke. Chuck Beres. He's dead, so. Chuck Beres. Did he do Make Me Laugh? Was it Chuck Beres? No, no. I'm just saying he'd be a good host, too, though. But he's dead, too. I think he's dead as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.Where are the Chuck Barrises and Bobby Vans of the world, right? Not anymore, man. Not anymore. They don't exist. So I… I got showed up by the UPS store lady. Oh, yeah. Were you flexing? You were like, hey, check this out. Well, I wasn't trying to flex, but… So… My wife seems to be in a pattern where she likes to get things delivered and then have me take them back. Mm-hmm. You know, like these things get delivered and she's like, oh, I don't want that. And then she's like, would you take this over to the UPS store tomorrow? This isn't the pegging set I ordered. Bring this back. Oh, thank God. It says. Ooh. One size fits all. So… we got this. So my son guy has a bunch of books and he has a bookshelf, but, but he needs another bookshelf. And so right. Flat pack bookshelf. It's supposed to be here. Well, the one that she ordered doesn't show up and it's like stuck in transit. Right. So she orders another one as if this is like, um, unclogging a,you know uh dime store you know crank thing where you get the egg with the prize in it so oh i'll just do another corner ending and it'll knock both of them out right i'll just keep buying bookshelves until one of these shows up so lo and behold they both show up on the same day yeah and she's like well i want the original one but now i don't want this super freaking heavy other bookshelf right that i've purchased, would you take this back to… Oh, you got your dog going. I'm going to have to move. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know they were going to have their wrestling match right in the middle of the show here. Yeah, because it only happens every fucking week. But anyway… I can't sense patterns since the accident. Keep talking. Go ahead. She…you know, she cons me into taking back this other bookshelf. I'm like, okay, I'll take it back. And so, and then there was like, you know, there's always two things. Well, we can't take this other thing back. So I've got a bookshelf that weighs like, I don't know. To me, it probably weighed at least 125 pounds. And then she's got something that weighs nothing. I'm taking them both back and juggling them into the ups yeah So I get up there and all they have at the UPS store is all these really, I think they're like college students or high school students or something. But this is a very busy place. I don't know where you live, but it's just constant. Apparently where I live, everybody just orders shit online and then returns it because it's constant chaos at the UPS. Are you okay, by the way?Yes. I'm sorry. Yes. I'm sorry. I was distracted. I'm okay now. I was watching breastfeeding videos. I'm sorry. Continue. So you're judging me two things. So I'm like, I get there and it's just chaos. I get in with this heavy, the heavy thing in the light thing and heavy bookcase. Right. And then I get my turn at the counter and this young lady says, You know, it's like, you know, you know, everybody's returning stuff. It's like a constant returns. And so was she, what was she Blair or two? Do you think, or, Oh no, she was, yeah, she was probably a, definitely a Blair. Nice. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I got a visual. So she, I go and they got the scale right there. And I'm like, do you want me to put this on the scale? And this other lady, she's like, yes.Who just kind of like seems to be walking around, you know, like the musher or whatever to get all these people working. A musher. She's writing numbers on people's hands. Yeah, exactly. And so I'm like, okay. I mean, it's kind of heavy. She's like, that's okay. So I put it on the scale. And then you… You probably have never done this, I'm assuming, because you never do anything that seems slightly technologically advanced. So then you hold your phone up with a barcode, and she scans it, and then they throw it in a pile, and the UPS guy takes it back to Amazon or wherever the hell it came from. And so she does that with both things, and then the musher comes back up. A musher. Yeah. She's this little tiny musher.woman. She's a little bit older. She's probably like in her 30 or something. Carol Ann! Carol Ann! She comes back up to the thing and she starts grabbing this bookshelf and I go, I go, ah, you know, I'm like, it's heavy, right? I mean, it's even got a sticker on one that says heavy. Yeah. She picked that thing up like it was fucking nothing. J.B. Summers. Yeah. She stuck it under one arm and just walked off with it. And I'm like, wow. She looks at me as if I'm like an idiot. And, uh, so yeah, I got, I got kind of, I got kind of shown up. Uh, the musher, uh, yeah. Yeah. Was flexing on you a little bit. Many years ago, I worked for the United parcel service. Yes. Many, many years ago. Yes. And, uh, um,And I'm like, I've lost all this muscle from not working hard all these years. And here I get stood up by this lady, the musher. Large merge. Whipping around. No, she wasn't very large. She was tiny. Whipping around bookshelves, flat pack bookshelves like they're nothing. You know what I mean? Yeah. And she used to look like, yeah, it's not heavy. Like, what are you, an idiot? No big deal. I mean, you know, I throw around car engines in the back here. Come on. Come here. Let's bench. What can you do? Come here. Yeah. What can I do? Apparently not even one 25 anymore. So yeah, apparently you're weak ass. I was like, I was, I was, I left there totally dejected, you know, the mush.feel like a riding crop walking around. This isn't even like christmas time or anything. This is like the dead time. This place is so busy. There's people constantly coming in, dropping off returning shit. There's all these husbands probably like, God damn it i don't know it's no it's no wonder we have a amazon warehouse, you know, not too far. mm-hmm and uh it's no wonder it's there everything's coming and going everybody's getting it to their house and then giving it back oh christ i don't know what's happening you know that stupid i don't it's weird if i don't if i can't buy at the store i don't get it man yeah that's what i'm saying you don't yeah you don't have this experience because no i don't i can't relate you're like um you're at the walmart at the customer serviceAnybody know where there's maternity bras and breast pumps? I'm asking for a friend. I need some razors and a shave cream too. I'm just, you know, I'm being prepared. i'm feeling engorged yeah they're more worse than one yes so yeah but i mean that's uh yeah i was like gosh this is i mean i'm like how far i've fallen gosh i'm a weakling little wiki boy i'm pulling this you know looking like I don't know who I'm trying to think of who, uh, somebody who, who can't like Charlie Chaplin came in with a bookshelf or something, swinging it around. And then this lady's just like, you come stumbling. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I don't, I don't want to. Yeah. I think I'm going to have to go to the gym or something, maybe. I don't know. A millennial kicks the Gen X's ass again. Yeah. She probably was. Yeah, a millennial. I guess she would be a millennial, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, there you go. Wow, I saw you were humbled. Yeah, I'm humbled, all right. Mm-hmm. Earn it. Mm-hmm. Earn it. Oh, my gosh.Here I come in thinking this is heavy, and they're just like… Got little toddlers throwing shit around. You get mistaken as a woman sometimes. I was wondering maybe if they thought you were like a post-menopausal woman, maybe bringing in a heavy load or something. Okay, hold on, Grandma. Yeah, I wish I got mistaken. Get some help. Although somebody did hold the door for me. That was nice. Here you go, Gramps. That's just because I was swinging around with his two before, you know. Yeah. Looked like Laurel and Hardy or something, but I'm both of them together. He looks more like Hardy. Yeah. Well, you know. Yeah. Oh, we're already here. Yeah. Nobody knows any of these references. I come swinging through the door like Chris Farley....

Jersey Drone Show 2

What is happening in New Jersey? Well, it is more than the usual high strangeness. Bob and Rob delve into the intricacies of the Jersey Drone Show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEKyVLDYSQ