Miles puts on a show while taking out the trash, while Bob soaks up the freebies at the finest hotels.
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Bad AI Transcript of the show this week
You're a quiet guy tonight there, Miles. It's electric. It's electric. Ah, just getting situated. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the show. This is Bob. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. You're convincing there. You may want to check your underwear label. Yeah, why? Let me see. I got to see if my underwear is… It says Calvin Klein. Nope. Nope, never wore it. You probably are a Hanes man, I would guess. Hanes. I like Hanes. Wait, did you get those Hanes on you? What is the name of that? How did that go? Remember when we used to sleep together? You're like, oh, Hanes, huh? Like, yeah. Like, oh, yeah. No, I don't remember that. I don't remember that at all. Remember that? Yeah, we'd have pillow fights and stuff. You're like, oh, hey. I don't remember that. Like, let's wrestle. I'm like, all right. Whatever. Whatever. I'm up for it. Whatever. What the hey? I'm down. I'm DTW, man. Down to wrestle, man. What the hey? Oh, wait. I think I recall. Here's a memory.A little sword fighting going on. Yeah, yeah. No, that wasn't me. That wasn't me. Oh, my goodness. No, we never wrestled. We've never shared a bed together. We almost shared a bed together. We almost did, yeah. I dodged that bullet, thank goodness. Yeah, well, never know what you did. You and your friend just share the downstairs. I'll sleep on the couch. My brother's into some things. Yeah. The door that doesn't shut, you know, just stuff like that. Yeah, stuff like that. Don't worry about it. No lock on the door. Just big gaping holes and things. It was just a different time, you know. Yeah. It's a community. No, we never shared a bed or wrestled. Speaking of that… Speaking of that, I only bring this up to rub it in your face, honestly. I was traveling last week and I don't know that I've ever actually mentioned this to you directly, but over the last 10 years, pretty much every time that I, not every time I travel, buta good portion of the time I travel, I'm considered a VIP. I believe it. And I get nice little trinkets and things because, you know, when I show up, people are interested that I'm there. And this last time was no exception. And I got into, I got in early so I can get in early, right? I don't have to wait until check-in. Oh. And so I'm like, I got to the hotel and I'm like, you know, can I get in my room? I don't push this or anything, but there are times whenever you get somewhere and you're like, I just want to go and, you know, get in my room and get situated and unpack my stuff. Right. A little five on one. Get ready. And now, come on, I'm not you. Come on. Well, you said you're acting like me. I mean, what's…Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They call me the bishop Bopper. Yeah. Sorry to offend you. Sorry. Uh, so i got in early and i was in my room and, uh, there was a knock on the door. Like I was, I was there like an hour. It seemed like. Sure. Yeah. Unpack everything, hang up all my nice clothes and everything. And, Knock on the door, and I'm like, oh, I'm like, I wonder who this is, right? I'm not expecting anybody. So I go to the door, and Eb from Green Acres is there with a… If anybody remembers who that was. Eb from Green Acres is there at my door with a gift basket. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Okay. And I opened the door and he's like, Hey, Mr. Douglas. And, uh, I go, he goes, Hey, you got a gift basket. I mean, and I'm like, Oh, thank you. And he goes, here you go. And, uh, you know, enjoy your stay. If you need anything, just tell me. And you know, I'll send up Mr. Haney next. Yeah, exactly. So now it sounds good.And these gift baskets are a nice touch. But I'm going to give you a little inside scoop on the hotel gift basket. Okay. Have you ever gotten a hotel gift basket, by the way? Is this from the hotel or the people you work for? No, it's from the hotel. Is it because you're like a frequent flyer or is it just everyone gets this? Oh, Michael's in the Chat. He says, yes, he's got the hotel gift basket lots of times. So here, well, Michael, then you will know the secret to this. Uh, and, uh, but so i get my hotel gift basket and i'm looking at, um, you know, I set it down and i'm like, Oh, this is uh interesting and i'm like unwrapping itAnd what I typically do with my hotel gift baskets is I take what I want and then I distribute the rest of it to people I'm with because they don't get gift baskets. So I'm rifling through this gift basket at this point. And I'm like, oh, wow, I got a whole thing of Nantucket Pepperidge Farm cookies. That's a good one, right? Put that in the plus side. And then I got some peanuts, honey roasted and regular, right? I got a couple of things of fudge. And then I got, this is the weird one. I got a big slab of Colby Jack cheese and some crackers. Are you still with me, Miles? I don't hear any comments from you yet. Miles is gone, so I'll just keep talking until he comes back because I can't hear him. And so I got this Colby Jack cheese and these crackers. What's that? Testing. Oh, now I hear you, Miles. Yeah. Normally you make comments whenever I'm unwrapping my gift bag. No, I have been. No, I was. I didn't realize that was that. I didn't hear you at all. Yeah.and call me jack cheese and the and the crackers were a weird one. And then, um, so i'm like okay i'm i'm doing a little uh parsing of, you know, one for me, you know, one for them kind of a situation. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And, uh, but i also had a refrigerator, which is fantastic. So I stick my fudge in my uh cheese in the refrigerator but it's like almost this kind of random items. Oh, and i got a couple waters a couple of, uh, nice Dasani, which is the, you know, ship water. Basically it's the worst no boss no nova i had voss at the last place. I had boss and coconut water and some others. Oh wow. Right. Yeah. Oh yeah. It was, that was a little more high end so i i get everything put away and whatnot, but the reality is, is that they, they have a shop.at the hotel. It's a nice hotel. It has its own, you know, little mini mart, as it were and and ebb goes dancing around the mini mart probably an hour before i arrive. And he looks for things that are just about to expire. And he puts them in the gift basket. This is the reality of these gift baskets right yeah and and so if you if you get one of these, always look yeah Always look and see the expiration date. Chances are you're getting stuff that's about ready to expire. But they wrap it up and make it look real nice. They put a card in there. Did you get tampons or anything? No. No tampons. Although that would be useful. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I'm typically…I mentioned before we started recording, I never get to eat or anything. The cheese and crackers was duly appreciated because it was actually pretty good. Of course, it was one week within expiring, but it was pretty good. I enjoyed it. The weird thing is that this happens a lot. When I was in Las Vegas, I got a backpack. I got bluetooth speakers. oh shit. Yeah. I got, uh, chargers, like a fancy, uh, charger for your phone, for your watch and for your iPad. oh crap. Um, what else did i get? Oh, and then this is the, you're gonna crack up about this. So, uh, in las Vegas, the, the, the hotel person comes up to me and like mr lament uh would you would you like uhto enjoy a massage. Uh, yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, there we go. Yeah. There we go. There's no, I mean, I'm always nice. Yeah. But for me, there's no way in hell I'm getting a massage at a random, uh, you know, random hotel. I don't care. Right. Yeah. So it's, I'm like, no, but I'm always thinking about others because I go, but a couple of my colleagues might enjoy the massage. Oh, yeah. And then I tell them who they are, and I said, you might go ask them. And then they want to please me that they'll go, and they got massages while they were there. Yeah. And then they come back to me and they're like, Bob, why didn't you get a massage? I'm like, there is no effing way in this world. I'm going to have some stranger put their fingers all over me. You would have to be roofied for this to happen or something. No way. I know you well too much that you'd be like, no way. There's no way.There's no way. And then they laugh at me and make fun of me and whatnot. And they're like, Oh, I can't believe you wouldn't want a massage. And then they come back the next day and they're like, Oh, this massage was the best thing ever. And I'm like, I'm like, no, I don't. I took the backpack. I took the Bluetooth speaker, you know, I get all kinds of like tote bags and, and, uh, umbrellas and all this kind of stuff. Right. Yeah. You're like a robot. I can only have robot things. I do not want to see my touch. That's right. I'm going to go to the robot pizzeria again. I love that. If you want to send me to that. Robot. The funny thing is I'm in this… I would call it a predicament. Other people would be, gosh, I know you would say, you'd take full advantage of all of this if you were in my place. I'd be like, I'm hungry. I could use room service.You're going to whip it? Yeah, you're going to whip it. But I rarely take advantage other than if they give me the basket, I graciously accept the basket. But rarely do I. Because they're always like, can we get you dinner reservations? Can we get you this? Can we get you that? Yeah, and I rarely take advantage. They want to take me to dinner. I've been to dinner, which is the most awkward thing. If you can only imagine how awkward the massage would be. Can you imagine going to dinner with me? Oh my Lord. Oh, like, wait, some random dude gets go to eat with you or what? Yeah. Yeah. Most of the time are women, you know, it's with you, but yeah. Okay. All right. Well, hold on now. Let's not judge. Okay. Okay....