Static Radio

Bob is surprised because Miles actually showed up after he was invited to play pinball in McLean.

Subscribe

Random show from the last 25+ years

Random Post

https://youtube.com/live/tecH59aeamI

Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

I'm like, Ash. Apparently, you don't invite Miles' title over. It only perpetuates it. I'm trying to drink, jerk, all right? Thanks a lot. Hey everybody, what we're saying is this is Bob and I'm chiplets and your house smells like ash. We got this new Glade freshener. It smells like ass. That's right, honey. Smells like ass. Fresh ass. With a name like ass, it's got to be good. Hey, everybody. Welcome. Yeah. Welcome. You never know what's going to come out of Miles' mouth just before I hit the record button. I know. Last week, I was talking about top guys and bottom guys, and this week, this house smells like ass. This house smells like ass. It does. It's your house. Do something. Get some sage or something. I live with like 20 animals and two other humans. It smells like ass around here, right? Yeah.Are you trying to blame somebody for this? If I could open the windows right now, I would. I mean, are you not partially at fault, perhaps? You know what? I just had a dog unbeknownst to me eat out of the litter and put her snout on my arm and left shitty litter on my forearm. I had to go wash off Right after our pre-show chit-chat that we like to do. Yeah, nice. Gross. A little pecan sandy. Yeah, nice. I want to see that. I don't know. Your house. I'm glad your house has filters built in and stuff and magical shit. You know, whatever. Actually, we do have some. I know. I know. You have some weird thing. Hapafelter. Yeah, I know. You got all sorts of cool stuff. Yeah, we got all kinds of weird stuff going on here. Yeah, I've been there. Been there. Yeah, exactly. It's like Scaramunga. He's got all this cool stuff. Nick, Nick. Scaramunga.Yeah. I have a little guy lives in the walls. Does my bidding. He dresses real nice. So, uh, apparently just like a, um, you know, like an eclipse every few years, uh, miles and I actually saw each other in person, uh, on Saturday. We had our, uh, Mandate. So, yeah. Mandate. Sounds like a court order or something. It was a mandate. No, I was just kidding. No, I happened, I was tagging along on a business, pseudo business trip with my wife to Bloomington, Illinois. I said, Miles, there's this really interesting place in McLean. called Arcade Unlimited. I thought it was a strip club. I was like, okay. That's right. You're like, Arcade? I know all her work. Oh, yeah. And I said, why don't you come over? We'll go check this thing out. It's got all these pinball machines and stuff like that, games and whatnot. And, you know, I threw it out there. I said, I'm going to go. Whether you go or not, I'm going. Mm-hmm.And, you know, I figured about 50, 50 chance. I figured it at 50, 50. My wife was more like a 70, 30. Yeah. That you would not even show up. Yeah. But you did. I did. And I was early. Yeah. And you were early. Exactly. Actually, the funny thing about you being early, let me, uh, I got to look here and see if I can find it. So I took a picture of, I was kicking around waiting for, you know, I was a little early waiting for you to show up and, oh, you aren't in my picture. That's what I was looking for. And I took a picture of a Coca-Cola, like on the side of a brick building, somebody had, they painted like a Coca-Cola sign.advertisement and a thing for a barbershop. And I took a picture and the next thing i know, I'm walking in that direction and there's a guy flipping me off. It was you! It was me! About 10 minutes early, which is like unheard of. Oh, I was 20 minutes early at least. Oh no, I know you're only 10 minutes early because i mean, tops was 15 because i was just walking around killing 15 minutes because i was early. Well, I knew you'd be early. I'm like, he's early. I know it. Yeah. And then there he is. I'm like, I don't even know this idiot. He's flipping me off. And then i realized it's you. I didn't even i i had there was no thought in my mind. This would be you because it was early. I'm like, oh who's this? Who's this fat dork flipping me off here?That's rude. That's really fucking rude. And I'm walking towards him. I'm like, Oh God, this is going to be, this is going to ruin my day. Got the town idiot flipping me off. Wait a minute. That's miles. Christ. It just seemed right. I don't know why. Yeah, it just seemed like a good thing. Well, I knew we weren't going to embrace. I knew that. Yeah, no, that's for sure. What's the next best thing? I'm going to flip him off. That's what I'm going to do. Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much. And I have to close my eyes every time. Anyway. Yeah, so then I'm like, what are the odds? I would have never. No one would take the 10 minutes early on that bet. Yeah. So, yeah, we hung out for a few hours and played a bunch of different pinball and old video games. Lots of fun. Lots of fun. Now, I will tell you that Miles looked likea fat Chewbacca Because it had some kind of bandolero thing going on. Had something strapped across your chest and I'm like, is that some kind of man bra? Has he got like one saggy or something? With my strap on. Yeah. No, I was at Norlings and I thought, well, heck, I'm going to use this again. So, The funny thing, though, is it's a fanny pack that you put across your chest. Will it not fit around your fanny? I don't know. I was told to wear it like that. Who told you to wear it like that? I do it like Indiana Jones style. I think you're thinking of a different… type of indiana jones movie when you're saying that i think yeah i'm a little disappointed you didn't mention the nasty gross gray sweatpants well that's a given i don't understand how you can't like actually put regular clothes on anymore i mean have you totally outgrown you haven't there's no way you could have outgrown your pants because your legs haven't grown since you're yeahYou're like a preteen. You got like these preteen legs sitting on top of this middle-aged body. I made you a promise. I said, every time we meet now, I want to be wearing these gray ass. Well, you can, I'm happy for you to break that promise. All right. Well, maybe I will. Maybe you need to, you need to invest in some pants. And I had my holy underwear on, too, that I was talking about. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's constantly like, my sweatpants are falling down. I was like, it was like special day there at the arcade. Come on, Miles. Oh, my sweatpants are falling down. Woo. I'm like, buddy. Yeah. Get a drawstring. Come on. Yeah. Then he goes into the bathroom at the arcade and proceeds to light it up. So he lit up the bathroom. It's like stink is just going everywhere. It's his fucker with a lavender shirt. He got in there before I did. Oh, yeah, sure.Hey, I'm like, I listen, I'm an old diabetic now, man. I got to take a whiz, you know, I'm waiting and waiting and waiting. I'm like, Oh, this guy, I hope he's playing with and that shit. No, he comes out, you know, like sheepishly like, Oh fuck. I'm like, okay, I'm going. I can tell you right now in a lineup, no one would pick the guy in the lavender shirt to blow up that bathroom. They'd pick you. They're like, They're like, look, this guy's wearing old sweatpants that are all stained. I look like Schwarzenegger on Mars in a little recall. When they run out of all the oxygen, they're all like. Right. Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God. I don't know what this guy ate, but it was lethal. Oh, my God. It was terrible. I was smelling it outside of the bathroom. I give him an A plus for blowing up the bathroom. Holy cow. Yeah. Well, I thought it was you.Cause I didn't notice until after you went in there and I'm like, Oh my God, of course I had to go. We, we, of course we're going to have to, we're going to have to leave now. No, I don't care. I don't care. A bunch of parents with little kids anyway. I mean, who am I trying to impress anyway? I'm like, fuck it. I don't care. Well, with those sweatpants, nobody, nobody, nobody. That's right. Yeah. Your goal was to make the homeless feel better about themselves, and you accomplished it. Yeah. Everyone stayed away, so yeah. When you wear stuff like that, people are less likely to ask you for money and stuff. I did notice that whenever I asked you to pony up your $5, it was like pulling it out of the jaws of life.That's my new wallet that I also got for New Orleans. It's not my typical wallet I typically use. I got a new wallet. You get a new wallet, but you don't get new sweatpants? Is this what the deal is? I thought it'd be a funny ongoing joke if I kept wearing the same nasty sweatpants every time we met. We haven't seen each other for two years. I know. That's how long I've had them for at least that. At least wash them in between. Come on. I know. It was like some cancer patient. My niece knew, and she got me these cancer pants. Cancer pants? No, he was. Some dude. I hope he didn't have testicular cancer. I don't remember if he made it or not, but yeah, she ended up getting some of his clothes. Judging from the look of those pants, probably not. Probably not.They're comfortable. I think he passed on while wearing those pants. Yeah. It was nasty. Nasty, nasty. It was like MC Hammer pants, but they weren't supposed to be that loose. If he had to hold them up while he was dancing, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How much did you spend? Did you put $5 in as well? Or how much did you put in? I got $10 worth of quarters before you arrived. Yeah. And we spent it all. Oh, I didn't think we did. Yeah, we spent it all. Yeah, I think I played a couple of things before you got there, a couple of games of pinball. And then I walked outside. And then you just kept reaching in my pocket. Yep. Daddy. Elephant with peanuts or something. I am sad that I did lose at air hockey. Very sad. Yeah,...

Miles' chances fate at the neighborhood Walmart, while Bob continues a journey of firsts in his life.

Subscribe

Random show from the last 25+ years

Random Post

https://youtube.com/live/RVlt-esAFEs

Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

Hey, my workstation. This is Bob. Oh, you started recording that. You jerk. Frickin' jerk, man, for recording that, man. That's some bullshit, man. Oh, my gosh. That is some bullshit. That's some bullshit. That's some bullshit. All right, let's edit that out, man. I want people to know. Editor. We'll fix that in post. We'll fix it in post. Yeah, thanks. Fix it in post. I'm on top again. Yeah? Yeah. Well, I know you have some ego problems, so. Well, no. I have some problems. Oh, my God. You were like on one tonight. You were on a tear. I got one less problem without you. Mm-hmm. You know that? Yeah, you're trouble tonight. Walmart for Christ's sake. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you'd already went. I already went. Yeah. Every time you go Walmart, when you're in one of these snits, you get yourself in trouble. I know. I just went there to get a story. I'm like, man, I need something like weirdos to do some weird stuff. If I walk around the store long enough, my, uh, uh,my sweatpants who don't have a drawstring will fall down and that'll be a funny story. You know, that is not too far from the truth, actually. That's the funny part. The soiled shirt I've been wearing all week. You know, say something about it. I would hope that wouldn't happen tonight because I'm wearing like these old Chicago bear, like boxer underwears and they're full of holes. I refuse to throw it away. And my wife is like, please, please throw those away. And I go, no, I will not until they win the Superbowl again. I will not throw these away. This is like the flag. You don't throw it away. You burn it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, these are like the nastiest, holiest things, you know. I mean, if I leave my drawers, people are going to see like a lot of stuff dangling and stuff because it's just the way it is. Because I got pendulous butt cheeks.i don't even know what that means my nickname in high school was clackers yeah Oh, nice. They call me metronome. Oh, there was a kid in high school that had a lot of back acne and they used to call him pizza ass. How did you get through that? It wasn't me. It wasn't me, dude. All right. Yeah, unfortunately, he had a hearing problem. He kept saying, boy, everybody says I'm a piece of ass. Which is weird, the boys' locker room. Yeah, you're right. Well, hey, you take it where you can get it. Yeah, I try not to spend a lot of time in the boys' locker room. Even as an adult. I hope you don't spend time. Coach Tidal, what are you doing staring at us? You're a weirdo, man. You've got some weird stuff going on. I'm doing jock check, son. Just a jock check. It's a swimming class. Oh. Always be prepared. Safety first.You never know when an errant kick gets you right in the jimmies, you know? Although, I know I've told you this before, but my dad went to Chicago school and they said they had to swim naked all the time. Right. We're playing shirts and skins and water polo, kids. That's weird, man. If they would have said, okay, you're all going to swim naked, I'd be like, I'm taking the zero right now. I'm taking the zero. It was normal back then. I mean, people just ran around naked. No, come on. That's weird, man. No, it was all part of the culture. Okay. Hey, you swim naked? Yeah, I swim naked. You swim naked? Yeah, I swim naked. I swim naked. Hell, we went to class naked. It's all naked. That guy. We called the nudie school. I said, you go to nudie school? Yeah, I went to nudie school. I don't think my dad went to nudie school, jerk. You freaking jerk. I'm pretty sure he did. Nah, come on. My dad went to Waller High School. Screw you, man.Hey, he's a baller from Waller, the nudie school. Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. Well, you remember last week, I told you there was two things last week that happened that I've never, ever encountered before. Do you recall this at all? Let me think. Okay, so last week. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, man. Don't be like that, man. Come on, now. No, you went to like water aerobics with your wife and a bunch of old people and the old people were like better than you. And then you were like, like you were feeling bad because you wore like your shirt in the pool. Cause you didn't want. No, I didn't. You were the one who was accusing me of wearing this shirt in the pool. I didn't wear my shirt in the pool. I bet you wore the shirt in the pool. Cause you're like, I don't want these old people to see my. I didn't. I think you did. Well, you can think that, but it's not true. You probably have on your Judas priest.t-shirt or something. It's just like your dad went to nudie school. My dad didn't go to nudie school. Screw you, man. My dad didn't go to no nudie school. Screw you. Frickin' jerk. So the other thing that happened last week, first for me, well, there was actually more than one, there was actually more than two, but the second thing led to another first. So I don't necessarily count it. So you were the first time I've ever taken a laxative. I never in my life had taken a laxative for any reason. You're changing the whole dynamic of the show. You know this. I mean, you're swimming with old people last week. This week, you're taking laxatives. Well, the reason is I got conned into getting a colonoscopy. Oh, you've never had one. I've never had one. I had to take a laxative.How did you wait? How did this happen? Cause I've always like, you should get your prostate, you know, and stuff. I didn't do the prostate. I just got your phone looked at. Yeah. How'd that go? I'll tell you. Okay. Wait, I got video. Hold on a second. I will. I'm I I'm off the show, man. If this pulls that up, I'm not watching it. As you see, this is where we're entering. Yeah. Pizza ass. Yeah. Uh-oh. Yeah. So, no, I had, like, months ago, I had to go to the doctor for, like, an ear infection. Right. And, you know, they have you at their mercy because I needed an antibiotic. And nowadays, they hold on to those things like, you know, They're life-saving, you know what I'm saying? So I was like, no, you can't. You have to come in. Oh, wait a minute. We got to look at it. You said ear? We thought you said rear. We thought you had a rear infection. And so I had to go in, and then I got the nth degree from the nurse practitioner. Wow, yeah.And so I ended up – it was like I went to the garage and they're like, well, you know, Bob, you could use four new tires, oil change, and transmission. And I'm like – and they're like, you know, you got to do it all. I'm like, what? I've lived my whole life not doing anything. Why all of a sudden do I have to – Do you really want to die now? You know, children fatherless at this stage in their life. Yeah. It gave me the nth degree. So that's called a Polish brain surgery. So I gave in, I said, sure. Okay. I guess it's been, I guess it's been, you know, I turned into Christopher Lalkin. Sure. Okay. I guess it's been long enough.And, um, so they're like, okay, here you call this place and you go, you know, get yourself set up for a colonoscopy you're gonna come back in a couple weeks we're gonna draw blood right you know we're gonna do all this stuff in the meantime, quit eating like a fucking 10 year old and walk around every once in a while. Those were my instructions. You didn't whip out your step counter that you're always bragging about? I did talk about that. Oh, I bet you did. Yeah, bullshit. Yeah. She just said bullshit to me. Yeah, you are a bullshitter. And then the other thing was she's like, what did you have for lunch yesterday? I go, well, leftover pizza. She's like, you think that was a good choice? I'm like,Well, yeah, because we had leftover pizza. Yeah, there was a lot of it. It was leftover. Casey's Pizza? Yeah, me. That wasn't Casey's. So I really got kind of the verbal pummeling when I went to the doctor. So I said, okay, this is just like the other thing. I'm like, okay, I'll do it. Sign me up. Mm-hmm. So they're like, no, you've got to sign yourself up. This is the worst part. They don't even do it for you. They make you do it. You know what I mean? I mean, one thing if I just said, yeah, okay, you know, sign up. No. Okay, here's the number. You call them. You go through all the menus. You set. No. Oh, my God. My doctor's place, they check all that stuff out before you leave. Like, okay, you're going in Wednesday. No, no. I had to do it all on my own. So.So then I put it off for a couple of weeks. I finally go. And then the stupid colonoscopy guys like, well, I'm not just going to see, you know, we're just not going to do that. You got to come in. I'm like, fuck. Consultation. Consultation. 400 bucks. So I go in to the consultation and I get this nice young lady who comes in and asks me a bazillion questions about my health. And, and she's like, you know, You don't take any medication. I'm like, no, nothing, nothing. Yeah. And she's like, do you feel all right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, okay. All right. Well, it looks like we can, we can get you. And how about, you know, and then she starts scheduling me up or whatever. And I'm like, all right, whatever. I'll do it. Yeah. You know, you don't want to die.Everybody says that. You don't want to die. Ma'am, you don't even know me. Yeah. You don't even know me, ma'am. Don't want to die. I'm like, you know, I can't be honest in these meetings. Totally. I'm like, lady, for the last like 40 plus years, I shit at the same time every day. Wow. That's pretty regulated. I'm regular as fuck. I've never taken a laxative in my life. I've never been backed up. Right. Nothing. This is a machine right here. It's the pooping machine that I've got going on right here. Yeah. I swear to God, everybody's like, oh, there's so much red meat....

Remote Viewing

In a lively discussion on the Mondo Freako podcast, the host Bob and guest Houston from the Thousand Crazy Questions podcast delve into the intriguing topic of remote viewing. They explore its applications, including military intelligence, and reference historical figures such as Ingo Swann, who played a significant role in researching this phenomenon during classified government projects, including Project Stargate. Overall, the conversation combines humor, curiosity, and insights into the mysterious realm of psychic phenomena.

1000 Crazy Questions

https://youtube.com/live/QQyMZhhkgus

Bob joins in some fancy water games, while Miles takes his old dog out on a birthday adventure.

Subscribe

Random show from the last 25+ years

Random Post

https://youtube.com/live/Jjs1RtVn8OE

Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

Little. You got little. Yeah, you got little. There we go. You got little, but now you're big. I got little. Now I'm big. That could be a song. Got little. You're little. Little big. I call him little big because he's little and he's big. Oh, yeah. He's little and he's big. Yes. I had to. Hey, this is Miles, and you took me by surprise. I didn't realize that you were laughing, laughing, laughing. You just love that song, don't you? No, I started following the singer's daughter on TikTok. Yeah, I would gather there's a lot of daughters you're singers you're following? Uh, Lorelei, Lorelei, Lorelei Bachman. I told her that I would sing her daddy. What's that? I told her that I'd sing her daddy's song on the podcast. Oh yeah. And she goes cha-ching. Yeah. Like where's the money, dude? No. You know, like a buck and a quarter. So I did. So promise kept. Okay.Promise kept. If you call it that, sure. Promise kept. How many other famous daughter, singers' daughters are you following? Oh, God damn it. What was that guy? It was a one-hit wonder. Norman Greenbaum. No, no, no. I won't think of it. I will not think of it, but like He always mentions it. Like, hey, just so everyone knows who my dad is. Just so everyone knows that he had that one song. He had the one song. I don't remember what the fuck. What era was it? I was in the 80s. Madero's? Glenn Madero's or something. Glenn Madero's? Yeah. No, I don't know. Someone like that. I don't know. It was like daughters all like, hey, look at Living La Vida Loca? Yeah. Ricky Martin? Yeah, it was Ricky Martin, yeah. Okay. Well, now that we've solved that riddle. Riddle me this, Bob Lament. Right. Riddle me this. So, are you okay? Are we all right? No, my nose is itchy, sorry. Oh, God. Well…That's, you know, put it a work order for Christ's sake. Yeah. Itching that nose like a job. Mm-hmm. It's like road work on the summertime. Christ. You remember a long time ago, you accused me of picking my nose on the air and I didn't. I said, I was itching it. And you're like, no, you were picking your nose. I saw you picking your nose that I ate it when you didn't look. And you're like, Oh, a hundred bucks. This is smells. Kid eats the booger. You're wrong. You're wrong. So did you, are you admitting to revelation? No, I wiped it on your coat. Oh, what? Yeah, that's okay. Laughing. Laughing. Did she ever say that her father was in an insane asylum or anything? I missed that part of the story if she did. I don't know. Maybe that's where he got the song from. Everybody around him was laughing. Laughing.Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Well, this last week, two things have happened to me. Let me put it this way. I'm going to change it a little bit. Two things. I have done two things that I've never done in my life this last week. All right. I'm going to tell you about one of them, and then I'll tell you about the other one another time, perhaps. Intriguing. So my wife is trying to, you know, I'm getting older. There's no doubt about it. Yeah. And my wife is, um, you know, encouraging, she's doing it herself and she's encouraging me to come along, which typically in the past, I probably would have not do anything. you know, certain exercise type things that I would not normally do. Are you kegeling? Well, I've always kegeled. I say kegel, you say kegel. Um, no. So this last week she goes, let's go to water aerobics. Okay.I want video. I want video of this. Yeah, I want video. And so she's been going swimming, like swimming laps, right? Yes. And she's like, come with me. We're going to go swim some laps. And I'm like, okay. Come with me. I'll go with you because I have neglected myself for eons. Go to the Y? Yeah, go to the Y, swim some laps. Yeah. Okay. And, uh, and so i've been doing that, you know, anytime she tells me i i go shirt on or shirt off sure what am I? 12? Shirt off. It doesn't matter. Well, I didn't, you know, I mean, you got, you know, some sweet titties there. I just didn't know if you were well i don't think they're quite as sweet as yours, to be honest but uhThere was a time in my distant past where I did have some muscles. I think that was before I met you, I think. Yeah, it was before I met you, exactly. You were like Jabba the fucking Hut when I met you. Yeah, distant past, I said. So she goes, I'm going in the morning. You know, you should go with me. And I'm like, All right. Well, I said, wake me up and I'll see how I'm feeling. I pulled a Miles title on this one. I will try. I will try. Exactly. I'm like, wake me up and I will see how I'm doing in the morning. You know, if I want to do this. And so she did. It was like, I think we had to be there like 730 or something. What the hell was that? What?Oh, I sound like you're sucking the bottom of a drink or something. No. Okay. She's kind of getting everything together. I'm like, I don't want to go. I'm like, this is not going to be… This is not going to be what I want to… I don't want to be part of… this aqua aerobics kind of scene, you know what i mean? You have, like, cartoonish shorts that you wear, like scooby-doo or something or yeah jinkies i wear my speedo juicy on the back does it say juicy You know, regular swim trunks or whatever you want to call them. Speedos. Oh my God. Oh my God. I got a visual. I don't even… I've got my swim trunks on. Yeah, so my wife's getting everything together and I'm laying there and I'm like… Trust me. No, this is not for me, right? I didn't say this out loud because she's been really kind andtrying to, you know, encourage me. And I'm like, so then he's getting ready and I hear she's just about ready. And, you know, and something flipped in my head. I'm like, I'm going to go. I'm going to do this. Oh, he's doing a Cameron from Ferris Bueller's day off. I'll go. You should be calling me. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. Yeah. So I hop up. I get my stuff together real quick and we head on over to do the aqua aerobics. Wait, are you going to be dressing in the dressing room? Um, I typically just wear my swim trunks over, but I do change afterwards. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. Cause you have like a weird thing about being like in front of people. Yeah.Yes, I have a weird thing about running around naked in front of people, yes. Like most people do, I think. Hey, dudes. Yeah, I'm not your exhibitionist, if that's what you're talking about. I'm thinking you run into the bathroom stall. No, they have little, it's very updated. It's not like it was when you were kids where basically they threw you out in the parking lot and told you to change your clothes. Yeah. Yeah. So I put my swim trunks on, grabbed my towel and whatnot and my clothes to put on afterwards. I can't stand to be all wet. Yeah. Right. So and we get there, we get to the pool. And she and I had the youngest of our sex at this aqua aerobics class. What was that? What? We were both the youngest in our sex. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. I missed that part. Sorry. Yeah. So I'm the youngest guy. She's the youngest lady. Oh, yeah. Woman. Yeah. And so it's all these people that got to be.at least 10 or 15 years older than us. All right. Let me tell you about Korea. Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, and, and my wife leans over and she's like, where are the youngest ones here? I'm like, well, what did you think? Yeah. I mean, come on, Jesus, figure it out. But given that now actually one lady who was gone had to be there like forties or something. So she was ended up being the youngest, but, um, what's that? She was boozing me. I don't know what that means. I beg honkers. The, uh, so, but you know what? It was actually quite one big problem, but it was actually quite fun. Yeah. I enjoyed myself. We did an hour, believe it or not. Yeah. And they had these, uh,Waits for the Water, which I've never heard of. Are you familiar with any of this? No. I'm thinking of that old Saturday Night Live thing with the synchronized swimming. Oh, Martin Short. It was a little bit like that. But they had these dumbbells, but you use them in the water and they actually are very resistant. It's wild, but anyway. Yeah, so we went this whole routine. The only problem was it's an indoor pool, not an outdoor pool. And It's very echoey and noisy. There's two pools side by side or close together. The other one, they're playing some music or whatever. I couldn't understand a word. Even though I'm not the oldest, I couldn't understand a word this lady was saying from the front. I was taller. All of the older people were in the shallower area. I went to the deeperthe deepest part of the pool. Um, because I was taller and, um, and also then I was away from everybody. Uh, and she's like, yeah, exactly. And so then I had to, I had to go over by my wife and I go, what did she say? And she's like, just follow my, just follow my lead. And so then we did all the, uh, exercises and we're bouncing around, but yeah, everybody was, I mean, there was like 80 year old people, mostly women, I will say. Yeah. Yeah. There was a couple of guys and then we, uh, um, you know, go through the whole hour of exercises there, which was really quite fun. And then we get done and my wife's like, did you see those two old people flirting with each other?I'm like, no. She's like, they were splashing each other and carrying on. I'm like, no, I wasn't even paying attention. I just thought they were flailing. Right. They all were drowning. Some of these people just barely moved. They just kind of were floating in the water. Like you? No. No, I was moving. I was doing… I did everything the lady said that I can figure out. I mimicked whatever the hell she was doing. Wait, take off my shorts? What? Well, okay. I think that's what she said. Okay....

Scalarious

In a lively conversation with John from the podcast Scalarius, the duo discusses their unique blend of comedy and paranormal topics. John shares that he and his co-host, DW, have different perspectives on the supernatural, with John being a believer and DW a skeptic. The podcast began by interviewing comedians about their paranormal experiences, but has since expanded to include various guests with ghost stories.

Scalarious

https://youtube.com/live/cRxrLil3htQ

Bad AI Transcript

Hey everybody, welcome to a conversation with the folks from Scalarius. Now we have one of them here, and that is John, and the other one, DW, is doing the tape for America's Most Haunted or something, so he couldn't join us. But thanks for being here, John. How's it going? It's going good, man. How are you? Is it America's Most Haunted? That's one of those things, isn't it? I don't know. No, probably not. But even if it was, he wouldn't be doing it. Oh, okay. Well, let's get into that. Let's dismantle that statement. Goodness gracious. So, DW is a hanger on? Is that what you're trying to say? No, no, no. He's just… He's not… Man, there's… the dynamic of our shows has, it's going to shift quite a bit. I feel here shortly, but you know, I'm DW is very much a skeptic. I am very much a believer. And so that's where the dynamic is. But so, so tell us, give us the rundown on the show for people who don't know. And you know,Tell us where they can find it. We'll get that out of the way. We'll get the plug out of the way and then move on to other stuff. Both myself, John Olsen, and D.W. Serene were both comedians. Funny comedians, too, by the way. Not to pat myself on the back. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty funny. He is most definitely a very funny guy. We're comedians and we obviously have a paranormal and comedy podcast. And basically we just kind of, uh, it started out, uh, two years ago, almost that it was, uh, interviewing comedians who have had experiences on the road and hotel rooms and bars and clubs they performed in and whatever, but we just expanded out and started, uh, talking to people who've had experiences, uh,that weren't comedians and me and him are the comedians. So hold on. I'm going to sneeze. or i'm not. No, you didn't. You didn't. If anybody wants to know, if you want to know how to stop a sneeze, announce you're going to do it. Oh, really? Yeah, I think so. It's an involuntary reaction. People get all mad about it or whatever, but i mean, apparently there's a way to stop it. And the way it is, is just announce you're going to do it. It's similar to diarrhea. I don't know. Like, um, If you say you're going to have diarrhea, that never seems to stop it for me, I'll be honest with you. I'm like, I'm going to have diarrhea, and it just happens. Sometimes it just flows that way. I don't know. Anyway, so we're the comedy, I guess, in the paranormal and comedy show. So we have groups on there. We've had psychic mediums. We've had you on there.Uh, so I mean, and you had experiences and whatever, just entertainers, whatever authors, things like that. And we just chat it up and see what we can, uh, what kind of show we can come up with. And usually they're, they're pretty good. I, I've had very few stinkers to be fair, but you know, do happen. Wow. So do you always have a guest or do you, sometimes it's just you guys? Um, we, 90% is a guest. I might even say 95%. There are shows that we do. We are going to do probably a two to three part series on the Warrens. Oh, yeah. We're going to have a special guest comic on or whatever, but it is just going to be us and talking about it. Does he have a character that's based on Ed Warren, perhaps? No.Oh, that'd be funny if he was like, I'm, you know… Just all serious. I'm Ted Warren. It's half-brother from a different marriage. Yeah. No. That'd be funny. It's just… Yeah. I guess… Informative, I guess, talking about that. I have no idea what we'll do, but we're gonna do it. It's the most honest… Comedy, uh, paranormal show on the internet. Yeah. And it gets us in trouble too, by the way so i mean but yeah well that's cool though. So, but i mean, that's interesting, but that you you really rely on the guests. And so that's, I mean, that's, uh, that's tough to do so it is you know, kudos. It's tough to do, especially when, I mean, the guests sometimes, I mean, I'm okay.Again, I'm going to throw percentages out there. Like 99.9% of the guests are really cool with everything we've ever done. And just kind of, I'm not going to say play along because we're not playing, but, you know, just go with the flow. Right. But there have been a couple that, you know, didn't really go with the flow too well. Did they know that it was a paranormal show? Or were they thinking it was some type of… true crime and or No, they do this entrepreneurial thing then it was paranormal. I just didn't think i don't know if they maybe misunderstood the whole entertainment aspect of it or or what but yeah so yeah all right yeah okay that's interesting it happens did anybody just leave in the middle? I haven't had anybody leave, but i had some backlashes.a couple episodes um but um no i haven't had anybody leave really no that's good not yet not yet right yeah well i mean to be honest with you you know the setup is that it's supposed to be you know funny and kind of off the cuff and so if they leave it's just as good yeah pretty much yeah because it throws you a curveball and then you can go with that right so and the thing is is that Both myself and DW are, I mean, me probably more recently, but we're both pretty kind and, you know, we don't, we're not outwardly trying to be mean to people. So if anybody really like, I mean, they have to dig pretty deep to get offended to want to be able to, you know what I mean? I guess. Yeah, that's true. I didn't find anything offensive.Whenever I was on the show with you, but maybe if I think about it a little bit. I mean, if you want to. I can think of something. I can think of something. Maybe. I'll background process that while we talk. So that's fun, though. So you're the believer and DW is the skeptic, right? Yeah. I mean, that's kind of the roles you guys think you inhabit there. Is that the idea? of yeah i mean um yeah it's just the way we are. I mean, he's skeptical about everything though. So, I mean, which is ironic because i am the more pessimistic of the both and he's just the most skeptic. I don't, you know and i'm trying to, uh, change that about myself, you know, the whole pessimistic thing, but i was trying to be more optimistic. Okay.Yeah, I try. I do. What are you doing to facilitate that? Well, boy, we're going to hit this right off. Well, you offered it up. I renewed my faith in Christ. And when I did that, things just, you know, like you're not supposed to be all down. Hope and all that good stuff, right? Hope, faith, love, you know, all that good stuff. All that jazz. I mean, it's true. What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding, right? There you go. Which made it kind of through a bugaboo into the whole Scolarius thing because I'm like, what are we doing now that we can do to glorify God? Because that's what I want to do, right? I got to glorify God. It's kind of hard, but we've taken a little bit of sabbatical to try to regroupAnd when I say a little bit, I'm talking two weeks without recording. So it's not like a long month or six months or something. No, no. So let me ask you a question. So do you think, so you, you believe that there are ghosts and you, you think you believe in Christ, right? So now what's, Does Christ believe in ghosts? Funny story. Somebody's asking me if I'm really blue. Millie, not only am I blue, I'm furry. Sorry. Go ahead, John. Uh, no, Christ doesn't believe in ghosts. And so really Christ doesn't believe in ghosts. Um, no, it, but there's theories on this. Okay. Like, I don't know how deep you want to get into this, but I've, I've had some friends go deep. Let's go. Okay. Fair enough. I've had some friends that, um, like if you want to go, like, I don't know. Um,I have a friend of mine who was recently on the show, and he's actually kind of popular on TikTok. He's actually really popular on TikTok. He goes by the Supernatural Sleuth. He's from Appalachians, Tennessee. He's a cop who does paranormal stuff, and he's also a devout Christian. You know, there's a lot of cops in the paranormal stuff. I don't know if you've ever noticed that. Yeah, no, it's really cool. Isn't that interesting? it is so if anybody wants to check out his stuff, it's the supernatural sleuth. It's on TikTok. I think it might actually have something on uh instagram as well. But, um, you know, he's like all ghosts are demons and okay. Um, and there's theories for that. And that's part of it is because like demons are all around and they hear you talk andthings like that. And they could whisper things into your ears and the hence psychics and mediums. So, and so like, you know, whisper stuff into their ears so they can tell you. I want, I got to stop you. So you think Jesus, you said Jesus doesn't believe in ghosts, but you're saying that, that so demons is a whole different classification. So a demon is not necessarily a ghost. Cause I'm assuming Jesus believes in demons. Absolutely. Jesus believes in demons. Jesus actually did a favor for a demon once. Um, which is kind of a, that wasn't, uh, Charlie Daniels, was it no no no um well the story goes basically is that, that's uh, Jesus came on the shore and this, this, uh, man who was extremely, extremely possessed comes out of the cemetery and he's like naked. He's like wrapped in chains and stuff like, you know, whatever. And, uh, he walked. Yeah.Usually when you lose your clothes, first thing you pick up is some chains. Chains, yeah. No, he was breaking chains. He was howling at the moon. Most definitely possessed. And so he recognized, well,...

Miles subjects his son to urination ridicule, while Bob witnesses the forces of good and evil over lunchtime.

Subscribe

Random show from the last 25+ years

Random Post

https://youtube.com/live/pHaYKKWzeoc

Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

Oh, man. you and me and me and you and me and them and me and him and them Hey, everybody. Hey, everyone. This is miles title on static Radio. You need to do a really good job of not actually getting any tune whatsoever when you did that. It's like, you can't, It's a true story if you have any idea who Jackie Gleason was. He did. He actually was a best-selling recording artist and knew nothing of music. Yeah, so what? Like the Honeymooners theme song, he made up. He goes like this. Then they made it better, obviously. Okay. All your trivia needs right here. And if you need more worthless trivia, welcome to Static Radio. You want to know about people who've long been since dead. Listen to Static. Oh, God, no. Not again. Not again. I couldn't help it. Oh, my God. I mean, I just envision that youhear that constantly throughout your day. Miles, where are you, Miles? We need you to come here and fix the toilet. Right? And then what happens in your head another glorious day be miles title. If you're listening now, just turn it off and go to something better. Don't, yeah. You can listen to that thing i was telling you about where the seance people The ladies got naked in that. I'm not going to listen to your weirdo fantasies. The spirit back in the spirit, spiritualist days where they, uh, you know, yeah okay yeah the spirits made me do it. Yeah, that's what you would say off the air. Bob had some fantasy about spiritualism. And all kinds of crazy stuff. I don't, that sounds weird yeah sounds like what happens is Miles sees all that, but he doesn't get to participate. Oh, God. Okay, that's three times. Okay.That's enough. I'm done. I'm done. Are you done? Come on. It's three times now. Please just stop. Now I'll just do it myself. Okay. I can live with that. Oh, you can live with that. Okay. Yeah. So yeah. No, I mean, this all weird stuff you hear on the internet. Come on. Got to give it up. Meanwhile, love that weird stuff on the internet. hey, have you guys heard any weird stuff on the internet? You know, if they made one of those K-Tel records of, you know, just the weird stuff you hear on the internet, that would be a good commercial. Hey, Kate was back. Internet hits only from Kate's hell. Five minute fart. I thought that was static radio. Oh, there we go. Yeah. I wonder if you get, I wonder if people do that. Do you remember whenever, I remember when I was young, you may not remember this because you don't ever remember anything. Um,they used to at the grocery store, they would sell old radio, uh, on CDs. You remember this or cassettes? It'd be like, uh, yeah, I used to have Molly and you know, all these things I used to, I don't want to brag, but, uh, I think my mom bought this for me. How to be a comedian by Henny Youngman. Really? Yeah. I had that by Henny Youngman. Seriously. Yeah. My mom, I think, bought this for me, how to be a comedian. She was a nice mom, wasn't she? She was. No, she still is. She's nice. How did it help you in your journey here? He said something like it's okay to steal other people's material and stuff if you don't really have material. It's always going to suck when you hit a young one. That's the one…That was the one nugget I took out of that. Like, okay, it's okay to steal. The only thing I took out of the Henny Youngman playbook. Yeah. If Milton Berle said it, it could be yours. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, no, we had a couple of those. Yeah, I know what you're talking about, Mr. Elitist. Nowadays, I wonder if it would go over if you just rip things from the internet, make a DVD compilation, and sell it at the checkout. You know, I don't think that would play very well. You don't think so? No. All these failed videos, just put them onto a DVD and sell it for five bucks at the grocery store. I don't think so. Groans and boners. I bought that and I didn't know what it was. I thought that was something else. I swear to God. I thought it was more of a groaner than a boner. I swear. I thought it said girls and boners. Oh, yeah. By the way, didn't you have some DVDs that were kind of like that?No. Like something gone wild? I might actually have those VHS tapes somewhere. Oh, they're VHS. They weren't DVDs. Okay. That's how old I am. Yeah, those are VHS. Yeah, those are VHS Girls Gone Wild tapes. Yeah, so what? Yeah, so what? I was young. When you were young and your heart was open wide. There wasn't an internet around for me. I had to get the girls gone wild video tapes. Pretty much. Pretty much. Yeah. They serve their purpose. They serve their purpose. I'll be honest with you. They still do. I can't watch those a long time. Oh, really? About what? Five minutes. Yeah. No, I don't know if I have those anymore. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm sure you do. Because they were blue. You, my friend, when you and I were going to college, you were literally a museum curator of your own shit. I have Asperger's, you jerk. You would have all your albums lined up. You'd have all these little trinkets and tchotchkes. Everything was in perfect order and you knowYou were like, don't touch that. Oh, I'm like, don't touch that. Okay, you are the king of, oh, don't touch that. Believe me. Well, it's true, but at least I'm not. If I went to your house right now and started just, you know, giving your blessing, everything in your house, you would have a complete shit fit. You'd be like, don't. Miles, don't touch our silverware, please. Don't. Just hook them to your forearms with rubber bands. Don't use your fingers. Yeah. Um, that is true, but you had like everything totally curated and like, in like, you had like lists on like legal pads of everything you owned. And it was like, I was always impressed that you, you know, knowing you and seeing this, it was, it was like incongruous. I was autistic before it was popular, I guess. So, yeah. Well, and the fact that you couldn't like keep it together.but you could do all this. I mean, I didn't say it was perfect. Okay. I didn't say, yeah, I was like, you accomplished all of this organization of stupid ass shit. And you're right. You cannot show up anywhere on time or keep track of your own pens and paper. Yeah. Right. Correct. Yes, exactly. I was always, that was miraculous to me. I was like, wow, crazy. So, uh, I'm with the stories here. I have a story this week. I was at a… Oh, I didn't think you had a story. I thought he's rambling on a lot here. No, no, I just riffed on some other stuff just because it came up. Oh, no, you were going on like 20 minutes of this riffing. I'm like, okay, he has no story this week. I'm like, okay, well, that's all right. So I was at a Panera recently, and there was outdoor seating. A lot of Paneras, I think, have outdoor seating.This guy likes to eat out a lot. Yeah, so I was heading into the Panera and I noticed there was two gentlemen sitting outside having their lunch. Dr. J and Dr. No, it wasn't anybody I know. Nobody else. But they totally looked like they did not belong together. It was like… a younger guy who, you know, looked like he was healthy and what was it ray milan and uh rosie greer rosie greer almost yeah i would go okay in that vein. But yeah, so this young, healthy guy, he was eating like a salad or something. And then there's this disheveled, homeless looking guy eating with him. Oh, I know where this is going. Okay. It's me and Miles. Look at I'm the sally guy andMiles is the other repulsive guy. I wasn't even going to go there. Yeah. So I go in to eat, you know, get my food and sit down and eat. And they're out the window and I'm watching them. And I come to the realization that this was an angel and a devil having lunch together. You're fucked up. Yeah. Dude, this dude is on some whippets or something. I don't know what the hell he's getting on, man. I looked at him, and I'm like, and the way they were talking and so forth, and the one guy looked angelic, and the other guy looked like a devil, and they're sitting there having, like, on their lunch hour. It was like, it was so obvious that it was an angel and a devil eating lunch together at Panera. Are you watching that show again, that Sam and Dean show? I don't know what that is. What is that show?Are you watching Supernatural again? No, no, I don't watch Supernatural. And yeah, and so I'm like, this is weird. And I formulated this whole kind of thing in my head that this is what was going on. And then they get up and leave and go their separate ways. And then I finish my lunch and I'm leaving to go and I'm getting in my car and going out. And the angel guy went to the corner and was preaching and holding a sign about being saved. And the devil guy just disappeared. Did he pick up a fiddle by chance and start playing it hot? I just thought it was so hilarious that literally these guys were eating lunch. They looked like an angel, a devil. I go to leave and the angel guy is at the entrance to this area with all the restaurants and whatever, shopping plaza. Yeah.And he is preaching and trying to get people saved. Are you listening to Charlie Daniels quite a bit recently? Yeah, that's right. I told you once you saw a bitch. I wish I would have saw the devil guy doing something evil, but I didn't. He's probably crapping on a flower pot somewhere. But he looks so… He looked like such a devilish person. I thought, wouldn't that be something? You know what I mean? Then after that happened, I'm like, oh my God, it was real. But what if the roles were actually reversed? Could be. So did you go up and say, hey, listen, I know this is going to sound a little strange, fellas, but hear me out. Yeah. No, I don't interact with people in public. Come on.Well, that's true. Yeah. That's true....

This Week

In this episode of Lament Tonight, host Bob introduces rising comedy talent Joe Cason from Detroit, who now performs in Nashville. Joe shares anecdotes about growing up in Detroit, revealing his self-deprecating humor and clever observations about his life, family, and experiences. He discusses the challenges of being a comedian and the unique culture shock he faced when moving to Nashville, including the differences in accents and lifestyle. Joe performs several comedic bits, touching on topics like therapy, family dynamics, and dating. The conversation also delves into Joe's upcoming shows, including a competition for Nashville's Funniest Comedian and his weekly open mic event, which fosters collaboration among comedians. The episode wraps up with Bob thanking Joe for his participation and encouraging listeners to catch him live.

Joe Cason

https://youtu.be/NpyJOQVyzNs

Bad AI Transcript

Hey, everybody, and welcome to Lament Tonight. We've got a good one for you. Stick around and find out what Joe Cason's all about. Right now, Gary Lime and the Fleetones take us away. One, two, three, four. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much, Gary. It's always great to have you here. Bob, you are a great asshole. Thank you, Gary. I really appreciate when you talk nice to me like that. We're here tonight with Joe Cason. I don't know if anybody knows who Joe Cason is, but I kind of do. I won't say that I know him personally, but Joe Cason is a rising comedy talent hailing from Detroit, believe it or not. He made it out alive, but without any equity in his home. And he's now bringing the laughs to Nashville.Where, I mean, if you bought early, it's probably worth a lot of money at this point. Known for sharp one-liners and clever wordplay, his act blends self-deprecating humor, absurd observations, and stories from growing up in the Motor City. So without further ado, let's just go ahead and welcome Joe. Tell us about it. Hey, Bob. Thank you so much for having me. So good to be here. Oh, great. And regale us here with some Motor City madness, as it were. Oh, it was a fun city to grow up in. Everyone called me White Joe. The only thing was there weren't any other Joes. They could have just called me by my name. That would have been a little better, but it was fun. I enjoyed it. Well, that's great. I guess there was no other Joes, so they called other people like, well, it's Slightly Tan Mark.I guess they probably should have. Or maybe Vitiligo Martin. That was actually my neighbor. Joe, why don't you just jump right into the comedy for us and do some material? Absolutely. I'm happy to do it for you guys. So good to be here, everybody. So I gave up porn recently. Don't know what I'm going to do for money now. But I will figure something out, I guess, but I'm just kidding. Uh, I didn't make any money. I was recently told I look like Timothy Chalamet if he was left in the dryer for too long, but that much of a market for that. But, uh, I just turned, uh, just had a birthday. I just turned 29, which is fun. Uh, but 29 is kind of a weird age because I'm too young to own a home and I'm too old for a P Diddy party.But being 29 in my family is a little strange, though, because my younger siblings are a lot more successful than me. Like my younger sister is a doctor. My younger brother's an engineer. I bought a massage chair recently. It's kind of a weird purchase when you're unemployed, but it is weird being the family disappointment when your mom believes in Bigfoot. So that's. It's kind of weird that my mom believes in Bigfoot, you know, this mythical creature that's never been seen. But she gave up on me in 2009. I've been trying to take blurry pictures of myself and send it to her to prove to her that I am real, you know. And my dad is like 99% convinced I'm gay, which means he's only 1% wrong.I got a text from my dad last month. He's like, happy pride month, but you're having fun. I'm like, dude, you've met my girlfriend. What are you doing? He says it so much. I'm starting to believe it. You know what I mean? But, uh, so anyway, I'm in therapy. Therapy is good, but my therapist, uh, she thinks I'm having a midlife crisis, which is a really sad way to find out. I'm apparently going to die in my fifties. Uh, she's not a real doctor, you know? I'm actually glad I had a therapy today. I'm glad I didn't get institutionalized because I have therapy every Thursday at 1130. I showed up yesterday at one o'clock thinking it was time. And they're like, Mr. Case, and this is not your day. You usually have your appointments Thursday at 1130. And instead of saying, oh, I'm sorry, I'm brain dead. I just said, oh, I'm sorry, I'm bread. So I went into therapy, called myself bread.He's fully expecting to be institutionalized today, but glad that didn't happen. I didn't help the situation, though, when my therapist is like, imagine your younger self is sitting right next to you. And I was like, oh, you see him, too. So, yeah, but I am working on improving myself, though. Like I have, like I said, I'm dating again, which is good, which is it is good, though, because my last girlfriend ended up keying my car. I now drive a 2009 Toyota douchebag. So that's great. But yeah, it's like I said, speaking of things not going your way, my grandpa was in the Holocaust. And people always, when you have family in the Holocaust, people will always say like, would you ever go visit their concentration camp? And I was like, I would say like, yeah, I guess. But I looked it up one day and found outThis is a true story. His camp was bulldozed and they turned it into an amusement park. So now I actually want to go, you know, ride the holocauster or whatever rides they have. But it's fun. My family is actually a Romani. There's a stereotype that Romani people are criminals and thieves. And that's kind of a sad fact. And then I found out that the the only three Romani words to make it to the English language. are Shank, Shiv, and Narc. Which is really upsetting. Yeah, so upset when i heard that fact. I decided to return uh all the wallets i had recently stolen. But I'm glad my family came to America, though. You know, move somewhere uh free of crime, free of poverty. So I'm from Detroit, as you said and detroit is a tough city to grow up in. And I know i don't look tough.But that's because I'm not. It was dangerous, actually, growing up in Detroit, looking like me. I have what they call resting snitch face. So that was fun. But I get it, though. I'm kind of a small guy. Like, I was once asked to play a cancer patient on a TV show. And they told me I'd have to gain a couple pounds. That's great. Actually, back in Detroit, they used to call me, uh, Extra Slim Shady instead. No, they really did call me white Joe. And, uh, I got bullied a lot in Detroit. That's because i embarrassed myself a lot. Like, I, uh, used to accidentally call my teacher Mom. Which is weird. It was especially weird because i went to an all-black school. So that made it a little weirder but uh yeah but i'll leave you guys on uh this i uh joined a gym recently. Yeah.I don't really understand how gyms work because people keep asking me to spot them and I just don't carry cash on me like that. But there's actually this couple at my gym that's trying out for that show Naked and Afraid. And I could never do that because I'm already clothed and terrified as it is. But there's this giant mural on the wall at my gym that just says I was born ready. And I really hate that statement. Because I was born premature. I was not ready at all. All right. That's what I got for you today, Bob. Thank you. Fantastic. Joe Case and everybody. And White Joe. I think we're just going to call you that from now on. You know, there's no, we're going to drop the case and just White Joe. White Joe. I'm down with that. You know, I mean, it could be a comedian name or a rapper name, actually. It could be. I could be both. There's Ugly Kid Joe.That's another one that's out there, right? That's right. There's Fat Joe. Remember Fat Joe? I remember Fat Joe, yeah. Now he's not so Fat Joe. Yeah, he lost it. Lost a lot of weight. But you got to change the name. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Fat Joe. I mean, if you were to go to Tahiti for a year and come back all tan, they wouldn't call you White Joe anymore. They'd call you Tan Joe from Tahiti. I can go with Tan Joe. I prefer that. Well, one minute here, Joe, we'll get back to you. We got a word from our sponsor and I'm actually going to read this one. I don't have, sometimes we have prepared things. I don't have a prepared one tonight, so I'm just going to read it. So let's see here. Let's have a go.If you're looking for a midday laugh, tune in to Joe Kaysen's Lunch Hour Open Mic, happening live every Tuesday. Join us for a hilarious break from your day featuring fresh talent and seasoned pros. That's Joe Kaysen's, or White Joe, Lunch Hour Open Mic, Tuesdays at 1, noon Central, 11 Mountain, Pitt Pacific. Get ready to laugh with Joe Kaysen's Lunch Hour Open Mic. There you go, Joe. How about that? Thank you. I appreciate the plug. I think I got all the time zones correct as well. Can you believe it? I think you did. Yeah, I barely even know them, but they sounded right to me. So let's keep going with this whole white Joe thing. I mean, this seems like, you know, you would get mixed up with the former president. You would think so. But believe it or not, there's not too many white people in Detroit.So it was very easy to spot, like, hey, there's White Joe. Wasn't Michael Moore from Detroit? Wasn't he the filmmaker? Yeah, he's from outside Detroit. Oh, okay. We'll take him, you know. Yeah. Gross Point Blank, was he from Gross Point, perhaps? He was, yeah, Gross Point, that was east of Detroit. And then I think he lived in Flint for a while, if I remember correctly. So… Does everybody ever call you Canadian, Joe? Because, I mean,...

Bob gets hassled at the car wash while Miles finds love at the WWII museum in New Orleans.

Subscribe

Random show from the last 25+ years

Random Post

https://youtube.com/live/QspRcbOmlPU

Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

waiting for it i know i'm coming out so you better get the party started oh that's i'm coming up oh really Hey, everyone. Miles Tartle with the Static Radio Show. Thanks for pulling up a chair and listening. Maybe I'm coming out and not coming up. Some people said you were coming out. Yeah, could be. Could be. Never know on these things. Yeah. Things happen. People, people, people happen. Things happen. You and your friend Kip. What a day for a daydream. Oh, Miles. So I think the vacation's still happening in this world, even though it's not happening in my world. Yes. But I have a couple of pre-vacation stories for you. So getting ready for vacation. Right. Kind of. Okay. So the first one is…So we drove up to Michigan and we got, you know, the van and the six seater and everybody went together in the van. So before we were going to go up there, I'm like, you know, we got to clean this thing up because it's filthy. You know what I'm saying? With your jizz rags and stuff. No, come on now. So I'm like, So I had taken my… Jizz rags. No, my children's hassle. They had jizz rags too? No. So I had taken my kids. We went and went bowling for fun. Bowling? Bowling. Bowling. the outrageousness of it. We went bowling, you see? And, uh, so we went bowling. So after bowling i'm like i'll take you i'll take you bowling and then afterwards you know will you help me clean out this van? So we'll be ready to load up, you know, in a day here. So we can head out to go on vacation. What are the crusty tissues, dad? Yeah. Yeah. I go, miles was in the van.Don't worry, boss. Two years ago, he was here. You keep saying there's Krugerians in here, but no. I have them now, assholes. Oh, good. Well, hey, good for you. So we go bowling. We have some fun bowling and playing some video games and whatnot. Who won? My daughter's boyfriend won one game. Ezekiel. Good. He did good. Ezekiel. Zeke, as we call him. Zeke. Ezekiel, yeah. And then I won the first game. We just played two. Did you do like a granny thing where you kind of go low? No, I know how to bowl, my friend. Oh, really? Oh, yes. I mean, not well, but I actually know how to throw the ball like a normal bowling person. I thought your large hips would get in the way of you, like, you know, doing it. Thank you. Yeah. I had to go around it? No. Yeah. So, yeah. So, we went bullets. And then afterwards, I'm like, okay, now here comes the work, right? So, I'm like, in town, there's, like, there's a couple, three, like, you know, fancy car washes where you get your, you drive, you know, you go in and it grabs your car's wheel and pulls you through the car wash.Car wash. Car wash. You youngsters have never seen Car Wash. No one's going to know what that is. No one will know what that is. No, you should watch it. It's an old movie. I know it's an old movie. My God. It's a great movie. It's fantastic. It tells you all about working at a car wash. It does. And then it has good songs as well. George Carlin was in it too. I think. Yeah. I just mentioned that he's a cab driver. So, um, we, I go, well, there's a new one. So we just, so we try out the new one rather than going to the same old one. Plus the old one, we have to, it's further away. Yeah. They're all like, yeah, sure. Whatever, you know, whatever, you know, what do you, whatever you want to do, old man, I've got, you know, I got, uh, tricked into cleaning the car.for a couple games of bowling. List your title. You got any whippets? I don't have no whippets. So we go up to, and I'll tell you the name of the place because it's a chain of places. It's called the Car Club Car Wash. Of all the Ks, I bet, right? No, no, no Ks. Oh, okay. The Car Club. C C C W C C C C senior. So the, um, so I'm like, okay, you know, the other car wash, you just pull up to the little kiosk and you punch in, you know, and you swipe your card and it tells you when to pull forward, you know, and then some, you know, guy has this pathetic hose that sprays down your car before you actually enter the car wash.My home is a very big sack. Sorry. His job is basically so you don't gun it through the car wash and wreck into everything and tear the place up, I guess. Right. Put it in neutral. You know. So anyway, I'm like, oh, this should be the same way. Well, I start pulling up and they have the little placards above because there's several gateways. Right. And I'm like, well, there's not, it's the only one to pay. You know, it's like a thing where they want you to sign up for something and everybody goes to the right. And then the only one where you can just pay for one car wash is all the way to the left. And there's a person in there. Yeah. And so I pull up and I'm like, yeah, I just want to get the, whatever the regular car wash is. And then of course they go, well, do you want the, do you want the,$10 car wash? Do you want the $13 car wash? Do you want the $25 car wash? I'm like, no, I just want the $10. I can't imagine what the hell you're doing to my car for $25 to clean it. I pulled on my pants a little. I just want the $10 car wash. Oh, and then that's where the hard sell card's coming in. But sir, I'm working my way through college. No, yeah. Sir, don't you want to join the car club for only $20 five dollars a month no you can get your car wash as much as you want no like no i want one are you sure? I mean, and then for thirty dollars you can get the deluxe car. and like, no, I just want a car wash at this point. You know, five people have gone through the other gate. You know, they've all given in. They they're weak. They've all bought the subscription to the car wash and are driving right through.Oh my God, this is the tough… I have bought houses with not as tough a sell as this car wash and their stupid club. Oh my God. It was so rough. I felt like this lady was just trying… She was doing nothing when I pulled up and I think she just wanted to entertain herself for the next 10 minutes trying to get me to buy a stupid club wash thing. Sir, I'm working my way through college and if you don't do this, I won't be able to, Have the spring semester. That's right. I'm not going to make it next year. No, I held firm. I held firm, and we pulled through. I go, I'm never fucking coming back here ever again. Man, if they approach the wrong guy with you, I'd be like, fuck. I go, we are going to go fuck up these vacuums. Yep, yep. I don't care if…I want you guys to suck the seat lug nuts out of this thing, into this vacuum. I want you to clean up the whole parking lot with these vacuums. I was so pissed. Oh, the world's biggest tightwad. I literally just wanted to rinse off this car and basically use the vacuum because those things are tremendously powerful. You know, there's nothing, nothing. If you stick that thing under the seat, there's nothing left under there. I like to be a man and do it myself. I like to get the wand out. Oh, good man. Come on. Yeah. I love doing that. You cannot beat these vacuums that they got. That's the whole scam. The best thing about the whole damn place is the vacuum. No, I agree, but I'm, I like being a man and washing it myself. I like to do that. Oh my. Yeah. Well, yeah. In your white t-shirt out there. It's good. It's all wet. My wife beater. I like to wear, go there. My short shorts. Yeah.It was like a Hardee's commercial with who was in the Hardee's commercial where he was washing the car. Was that Paris Hilton or was that somebody else? Mindy Kahn. That, well, you're, yeah, that would be you. Yes. That was my fantasy. Yeah. Oh, I was so aggravated with the hard sell. I'm like, God damn these people. Sir, don't you realize what a value this would be, though? Yeah, exactly. Like on and on. I'm like, it's lucky that I'm even washing the car. I wouldn't be doing this on a regular day. I mean, I wouldn't be washing the car. The other place, I mean, sometimes they ask you, sometimes they don't. You can always use the kiosk. They never, ever ask you more than once. Oh, you want to join the club? Got the club thing. No, thanks. Okay. Go on through.It's like this lady was making commissions. Like every time I wash the car, she's going to get like $5 or something. I guarantee it. I guarantee, man. That's what that was about. Holy shit. This woman. Christ. I get $3 every time you say yes. If I could turn around, because at this point I'm trapped in a little, you know, concreted area there where you can't turn around. I would have turned right around. Right. Yeah. I'd be like, uh… These people, I swear, man. I can't stand them. That's funny. Yeah, I'm sure. I knew you would love it. You'd be like, oh, yeah. And then the other thing was, before we left, because you know I love a good steak dinner. We went to that steak dinner. The Sizzler. No, it's better than that. If you would ever, like you came through town, if you would ever stop, I'd take you to this place. It's great.But we went there. We go to this place, the steak dinner place, and everybody was there for steak dinner before we took off on the holiday. And so we got our seat and everything. We got this crusty old waitress. I swear to God, she was the crustiest waitress we've had in a long time. Just my grits. Yeah, exactly. She comes in, what do you want? She's very good in waitressing, but very to the point. She's like, I ain't got no straws. You got to wait until I come back with some straws. Okay. I'm trying to remember what the setup was, but somebody asked about something. I've been waitressing here for 20 years. I don't give a shit. Just bring me my food. But anyway, it was so funny because then that became the line of the night. I've been, whatever it was, I've been 20 years. But it was good....

Shadow People with Ope A Ghost

Heaven and Johnathon for Ope A Ghost join Bob for a special look at Shadow People on this episode of Mondo Freako.

Ope A Ghost

https://youtube.com/live/IonDvlvPx7c

Snallygaster

The beast who enforced a thousand bedtimes. The tale of the Snallygaster is very wide and varied, but Bob and Rob are not afraid to tell it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt8ouJwyrcI