Miles takes in a show that stretches him to his limits, while Bob can't believe he is still going to concerts.

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It should be any minute now. I'm coming out. You know, just because Miles wants to hear it. I'm good. Hey everyone, this is Miles. You're very subdued now that we're recording. I don't know what happened to you there. I'm here with my friend Jimmy. I wrote a book of poems. Bingo! It's called How One Bullet Ruined Christmas. That's a good one, isn't it? It's coming out soon. I think that was after he did Liberty Valance. Yeah. It's a book of poetry about bingo, and that's the last poem. Oh, okay. One Bullet Ruined Christmas. It's all about bingo, but you may not want to hear it. I thought you were going to talk about his prison book called Jimmy Stewart, I Like My Soap on a Rope. What, what, what, what?I don't know where to go with that. I don't know. I don't know. This is miles. I just started. I have no, I don't know. I was driving to Chicago. I was just, you know, you put together words. I go, well, maybe funny, like a name of a poem, like how one bullet ruined Christmas, you know, like, uh, as it seemed funny. I don't know. A lot of people that, uh, have that one on their playlist. Yeah. I don't know. You know, just thinking of funny things when you're driving. I'm like, oh, okay, that's funny. Well, speaking, you've just mentioned it. You went on a little bit of an adventure this weekend. Yes. Do you want to tell? I tried to approach you about it on our usual talking ahead of time. And you were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.No, no, no. No, my son had got concert tickets to a rock and roll program at Soldier Field this weekend, and I felt obliged to go. I'm talking like my aunt now. It's funny. I felt obliged to go. Why not? Yeah. So I go out to… Go, let's go. Let's do it. And, uh, we got there, no problems. And we ate at our favorite restaurant. I'll plug for a place called twin anchors, which is like the best rib joint in Chicago. Uh, it's sinatra's old place. You know, he used to hang out there. They filmed a couple movies there, including one of the batman movies. It's pretty cool. It's in the neighborhood, old town, uh, got to talk to the manager a little bit, you know?Uh, I was hitting around for free cocktails and food, but you know, that didn't happen, you know, and, uh, sure. But it is what it is. It is what it is. And then, uh, it is what it is. We got to see, uh, you know, the old neighborhood where my dad grew up at that was right by there in old town there. And, uh, we, uh, my son's like, there's a pop-up store. He goes, before we check in. Right. Yeah. To the fleabag hotel that we are in. Which hotel did you stay at? Which one? I thought we were at the Congress, actually. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've been there. Yeah, Congress. And I was mistaken. We were close to it, but we were actually not at the Congress. I'm like, oh. Oh, you weren't at the Congress. No, I'm glad I checked my phone because I would have walked right in and demanded a room over the room that I didn't have. Where's my room at, buddy? Listen, mate. Listen, mate. I'm talking to Al Capone.Yeah. Right. Yeah. My dad's from Chicago. Kiss it. And he goes, listen, uh, it's going to be a little bit of a hike, but, uh, there's like a pop-up store for this concert. Right. I'm like, okay. And, uh, so we're going down and you see everyone wearing their concert shirts, all these young folk, you know, all these guys in their twenties. Did you say who you were seeing? I don't know if you mentioned that yet. Yes. Uh, it was called the very best of bread. So the band bread was getting back together. And, uh, I'm a big fan of the song. If, as you know, no, we were going to see, uh, yeah. Then why can't I pay you? Oh, but you seem to know it pretty well. You know it well, my friend. Yeah.No, it was a system of a down and event seven fold. Gotcha. Which, uh, I know just a little bit from hearing my son's playlist. So I, I'm not an expert at it, but I do know some songs. And, uh, so we, we book, you put on your girdle and your toupee and you went to, yeah, I, yeah, I'm wearing some bears Jersey walking around. Like I don't fit in like do to Luke. And, uh, you know, you gotta, uh, So we get down there and, you know, after being like in the disgusting filth of new Orleans there about a month ago, Chicago seems a lot cleaner, you know, like, okay. Chicago is a lot cleaner than new. Yeah. It doesn't stink quite as much. I'm like, okay. Right. Yeah. I think, yeah, that's, that was my experience as well. I'll be honest with you. It was, uh, yeah, I don't know if it's safer, but it seemed a lot cleaner. I mean, actually Chicago is even safer. Yeah. And, uh,So we get to the location and there's a bunch of people in line. I'm like, Oh, right. Well, it is what it is. And, uh, so there's these two guys ahead of us and they're talking about something and one of them takes off and then the other guy turns around. He's like, Oh yeah, we're cutting the line right here. We're stopping the line. What are you talking about? Yeah. We're selling out of merchandise too quickly. We want to reopen tomorrow, you know, so you guys can come back tomorrow. We're sorry, but, um, What kind of bullshit is that? Just sell it out, man. Then you're done. I'm like, okay, all right. Which it didn't open today because guess what? They were sold out. Oh, what a bunch of bums. That's a video I posted there yesterday. The system was working because you got sent away. I was trying to bribe the kid with a couple bucks. I will give you the Washington Twins right now, man. He goes, what?I go, you know, you know, come on. Come on. It took him a minute to get. He was all money. Quit playing stupid. Yeah. He's like, nah, nah, I can't do that. Nah, I can't do that. Come on. I did that for all these other guys. I got too much money in my pocket. Yeah. Right. I'll never be able to make it home. Come on. I got too much. So I'm like, all right, well, we'll check into the flea bag. You know, I'm like, okay. You don't want to mention the name of the hotel. I'm not really now. It was like an old hotel had been refurbished into like a more moderate one, you know, but you could tell that it was quite old. You could see like pipes in the ceiling. And so, you know, I was like, okay. Did you go to the, uh, what was that breakfast place you sent me to? Uh, I did go there. I spent like $35 for two breakfasts this morning. Yeah. Okay. I can't remember the name of it now.Uh, the chateau les shits yeah it's my university of chicago downtown. Yes. Yes. And, uh, so on the way back, like there's like people with, you know, like concert shirts and stuff heading towards this store. I'll get you five dollars for that shirt five dollars so my son's trying to be a nice guy and warn these people. And after about the fourth time, like, you know them you know, dude, let them just. You know, it's on their own, man. Yeah. Screw them. That's life, man. You know, life's a big pile of shit. Just let them find out. No, no, it's my duty. And I'm like, no, just, I'm a good guy, dad. I'm a good guy. Just let me do it, man. All right. All right. All right. You gotta do what you gotta do. You know, I can see my son is nothing like me. You know, he's just trying to be a nice guy, warn people, you know, like, no, really. Hey,I'll give you $50 for the shirt. They got them down the street for 25. Well, yeah. Well, that's funny. Yeah. Cause you know, there's all these, you know, guys, you know, oh, you can buy a shirt here for 20 bucks. You're going to spend 75 in there, man. You're a fool, man. Buy mine for 20. It looks like it's like big enough to fit like a toddler or something. This shirt. I'm like, who the fuck is going to buy this shirt, man? It's like a little kid shirt or something like that. Come on, man. Nice. And so, yeah, we check into the flea bag, and, you know, the girl's like, you know, you got to initial this three times and sign your name, and promise you won't screw around. This isn't part of the Wyndham properties, is it? That's where I stayed at when I visited you. It was terrible. Yeah, yeah, it was, actually. It's the Wyndham Wizard. Hey, Mr. Wizard.I'm like, what is all this? Come on. Well, basically, you know, you, you can't have a party in your room. So like quite all, all dead serious. I'm like, define party. Uh, you're out of here, mister. You're going to look like she's like, she had no answer to this. Like, um, um, um, all right. I'm joking. Just give me, you know, you gotta get up the elevator. You get these crappy rooms. And like, uh, you know, like the view out the room is like some like horrible looking alleyway behind a bunch of buildings that are bricked up. I'm like, Oh Jesus. We got the view. Look. Yeah. The shit hole, you know, sweet home Chicago. They get the L the view of the L. No. Yeah. It was actually, I would say this hotel was a lot quieter than the Congress. Really? I'm surprised. Well, the Congress doesn't make you sign any non,partying clause. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But, uh, because I, when i was in the Congress, it was like a lot of like street noise, like a lot of street noise wants to party all the time. Yeah. So we're like, all right you know we we chilled out. We left like, we got like a mile walk. We got a mile. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it wasn't that bad, you know, what's mile, you know, for you. i'm Well, yeah. Well, we're getting to that. So anyway, I'm trying to skip ahead. Sorry. Yeah. So there's all these guys with bikes, like these bike carriages, you know? Yeah. You know, it's like they could fit like four people. And this guy's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you two guys. I'll take you fat ass, Mr. Fat ass down to the soldier field. And I knew,...

War of the Worlds with Colin from The Nostalgia Pit

In a conversation with Colin from the Nostalgia Pit, the discussion revolves around a recent movie titled "War of the Worlds," featuring Ice Cube and others, which is critiqued for its poor production quality and reliance on technology like Zoom and Teams for storytelling. The hosts joke about the film's absurdity, including its advertisement-heavy content and the portrayal of characters, particularly Ice Cube's role as a "master hacker." The movie's plot is convoluted, involving aliens that feed on data, and culminates in a ridiculous twist involving Amazon's delivery service saving the day.

The Nostalgia Pit

https://youtube.com/live/QafH7SWsN4M

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Hey, everybody. Welcome. I'm having a conversation here with Colin from the Nostalgia Pit. You can see that right there. Link. E slash Nostalgia Pit. You can go see it and check it out. I sat with you and your co-host, which I've forgotten his name, even though you just said it like two moments ago for a show. And I got you. What do you want to say? I begged you not to do this. Well, you kind of challenged me not to do it because I think I mentioned it and then you took it as a challenge. I feel like this is like one of those episodes of a bad sitcom. You're like, well, I'll do it. I will do it. And I'm like, no, you don't have to do it. It's okay. You don't have to do it. I have a love for bad movies. Okay. They're not all bad movies are created equal. But when, when, when I hear something that like, Hey, this is potentially the worst movie that's ever come out before. Yeah. I'm like, you know,that tickles my intrigue. I guess it set you off good because you're like, I will, you took a challenge that was, I wasn't even throwing down the gauntlet at all. I'm just like, yeah, this movie sucks oh yeah no and then you you said i'll bet you five dollars that you won't sit through the whole thing. Did I say that you did it's on record on the podcast. I never remember exactly. So I owe you five dollars so we'll barely I'll get your Venmo or something at the end here. Set it up somehow. Or maybe I can just send you some swag. Whatever works. I'll take it. So the movie we were talking about is the latest incarnation of War of the Worlds. This one's starring Ice Cube. The kid from Diary of the Wimpy Kid who played the older brother, which I cannot remember his name.And one of the Desperate Housewives, as well as some other people. It's got a computer. And it's got every computer tech giant program that you want to advertise. Yeah, maybe. It seemed to be reliant a lot on Zoom and Teams. Well, Zoom and Microsoft Teams are very big. Yes, that is big. But also, I mean, he's on Google. He's on YouTube. Oh, yeah. Facebook, you know, watching stuff on CNN, Fox News. Like it's, you know. It's an advertisement. It's never. Yeah. Yeah. It's an advertisement. All right. Well, I wouldn't call it an advertise a good advertisement at this point. All those people probably distance themselves from this movie, in my opinion. But I don't know about that. I think that I think it's it's it's.working in the ways that it needs to work because it's generating clicks. Clicks are, it's like, it's one of those things where rage bait and like click bait are, are two real things in this, you know, commodification of, of information in this age. And so a lot of people will post things to make people angry and like trolling or whatever, you know, you see it in the food world. Or some of these recipes, they're presenting it like it's totally absurd. Or like it's totally real when it is totally absurd. And then it gets the people going in the comments. And then they share it. And then people start reacting to it. But all that stuff, it's the same as good clicks, bad clicks. Sometimes a click is a click. And so I feel like their numbers are pretty good because of how many podcasts and everything are talking. That's all I'm saying. We could have totally fallen for their shtick.stuff here with i'm just saying exactly you know they're like how can we make this so effing cheap and yet get so much exposure out of it? Well, Rob said when we were talking about it on the nostalgia Pit, Rob, my co-host, who you know i forgot i totally forgot he's totally a forgettable guy. I forget his name off and all i be honest with you, I forget everybody's name that's that's one of my superpowers okay well i put my name up there just so you won't thank you that's why i can i cannot have to remember it. Exactly. He said that he read somewhere, I'm not sure where he read it, that it was like $65 million for the budget, which I find kind of amazing. How would you have done that? It seems like it's the most cheaply done movie that's ever existed. But maybe they spent a lot of money on trying to get the post-production, the CGI and all that, the aliens and all that.you know, I didn't make it that far. I have no idea what they look like. Well, all I can say is that a lot of people are questioning as to when this movie came out, as opposed to it's filming, like it was filmed during the pandemic. Obviously, you know, there's no actors that are really in the same room, maybe two actors in the same room at the same time at a shot. Uh, everything about that is very obvious. Why was it released in 2025? You know, like it, maybe it would have hit better, made more sense to people. If it came out during the pandemic. Well, my theory personally is that they were waiting for AI to be the generative AI to be, uh, become good enough to where they could use it in this, in the, in, in creating the CGI that they weren't able to do for a lesser budget because, you know, Oh really? I mean, like if we go look at the, where are the worlds, right? The Spielberg version, right? The Spielberg version. Yeah.Like the budget was 132 million. I mean, like not always, but I feel like a good amount of CGI and movies, if you want it to be decent, kind of costs a lot of money. But that's why I think that they kind of put it on pause and waited for a simple generative AI program that could have done all that stuff simply. No, I hate to disagree with you, Carl, but I have to. Maybe that's what this is all about here. I mean, I thought this was an agreement. I thought we had to agree with everything. considering that we started out with a disagreement and can continue this trend here. I think they made it. They thought this is the worst thing we've made in a while. Let's not do anything. And then five years passed by and somebody is like, we, somebody is looking at the spreadsheet. They're like, we spent 65 million on this piece of shit. We need to do something with it. Let's throw it out on, on, on prime, you know,during a dead time and burn this thing off and try to make up some money. That's certainly very possible. I mean, I feel like, I feel like just with all the ads, they offset their budget. You know, a lot of it, like a lot of the people probably paid for advertising. There's so many different companies. It's insane. Maybe it took five years for them to get everybody. They're like, we're not going to release this until we get, you know, it's 10 million from Microsoft, 10 million from Zoom, you know, Maybe they had to wait for them to build their coffers to where the 10 million was not a hardship formula. Yeah, I'll give you 10 million. Oh, who's in it again? Clark Gregg, you mean the guy from Marvel? Hell yeah, we'll give you 10 million. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was just the sales part of it came together after five years. But I really don't think that they were waiting on the technology because if they were,Maybe they would have used it in other areas as well. I mean, for Christ's sake, can't you get Ice Cube out of the room? You know, they could have. He could have just been running in place and been someplace else with better generative AI and so forth instead of just sitting in the one room the whole time, which half the time didn't even look like it was fully rendered. No, that's part of the thing about it. It's like, I don't know if it was a creative choice to go with I don't think it was, but I mean, theoretically it could have been argued that to be a creative choice to have like the laggy zoom live stream type of camera work, you know, that was happening in it. But I honestly think that it was just because they were recording on phones during live stream, you know, either FaceTime or zoom, you know, like it was, it was very interesting. I just think that the smoothness of a lot of the CGI at the end makes a lot of sense to,one of the new… It starts with an M. I can't remember. The generative AI software that came out recently that's really good for videos. It's been messing with a lot of people because they can make very realistic stuff. It starts with an M. I'm trying to think of what that is. I'm trying to remember what the name of it is. Once again, Rob, my co-host, he's typically the guy who knows the most about these. Towards the end, it seemed like the smoothness of some of it seemed like that program. um since since i only watched probably about 10 or 15 minutes of this movie, I watched the whole thing. Would you, would you take us through the chronology of what happened? What happens in the movie? Okay. So it starts out and it is ice cube logging on to his computer at the dhs and he starts searching the internet and you think it's going to be like,pretty quick that he's just searching the internet or something like that. But he just is the start of the movie is he's just searching the internet. So what the camera, what you're seeing is, is the computer screen, right? It's like zooming between different programs. Once again, Microsoft teams, zoom, et cetera, all that stuff. Uh, Facebook, you know, whatever, when he's just escape, the way it is shot, it's just like window, window, window, window. Right. And probably 50,...

Weird, Wild, Cinema with Doc Sleaze

They delve into the world of exploitation films, with Doc expressing a preference for lower-budget genres such as horror and crime, while also noting the cultural differences in war films from various countries, especially between British and American perspectives during World War II. They highlight notable directors like Roger Corman, Jesus Franco, and Lucio Fulci, who are known for their contributions to exploitation cinema. The conversation also touches on the evolution of film distribution, particularly the transition from direct-to-video to streaming platforms, and the emergence of contemporary exploitation films.

Weird Wild Cinema

https://youtube.com/live/Awey_cdJNyA

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you know, people are like worried about what somebody's doing as if all these people don't do things themselves. I mean, chances are pretty good they have sex or they masturbate in their spare time. Everybody looks at pornography. We've all at one time or another looked at it. Right. I mean, as long as it's not creeping into your… Exactly, yeah. you're not at work doing these things in front of, you know, people who don't want them to happen in front of them, then you're probably okay. Right. Yeah, exactly. You know, I'm a great believer in that. What you do in private, as long as it's legal ish, as long as you do it in private, you know, as long as it's all between consenting adults, then no problem. Yeah. So, uh,This is Bob, and this is Doc, and we're doing a conversation. We're going to talk about Doc Loves Movies, and I know Doc through The Overnightscape. So, Frank's Overnightscape universe, can we call it that at this point? Now that everybody has their own universe, can Frank have the Overnightscape universe? Is that possible? I think he's probably the only person I know who does. Because, you know, that's what they're branding all these, all these things as the, you know, the various universes. So there you go. I think we can call that the overnight. And, and so, yeah, I thought it'd be fun to have a chat and we were, we're kind of jumped in the middle a little bit. Doc was just telling me about a person who had a horrorsite and got themselves in a little bit of hot water because they worked in childcare and somebody's like, you can't, those two things are incongruous and can't happen in the same world apparently. So I didn't, I didn't know that, but I mean, everything happens at the same time. So, you know, who knows what's going on, but tell me doc, what's, so if you had to say, these are my, films of interest, like genre-wise, or not even genre, but maybe it goes across genres. How would you describe your film intake? Probably the most basic description would be exploitation. Generally lower-budgeted films, but not always. The trade in genres that can range from, you know, horror, through science fiction, crime even, crime. Occasionally they do actually verge on pornography. Most exploitation does because I'm afraid nudity sex and nudity sells. Yeah, there you go. That's, you know, that I'm afraid is a fact. As does violence. Sadly, it shouldn't. Yeah.Yeah, and there's all sorts of sub-genres. There's some I don't like so much. I don't like Nazi exploitation particularly. As far as them being the villain or them being the hero? Well, Nazi exploitation basically films, they're set against the background of World War II. Ilse, what was she called? Oh, She-Wolf. She-Wolf. Yeah, She-Wolf. I really don't want that sort of thing. Because, well, I'm old enough and not old enough to remember World War II. Obviously, it ended some time before I was born. But I grew up with relatives. Right, yeah. They served in World War II. And, you know, that was just something that was off. And it is a particularly unpleasant thing, I think. I just really don't think that concentration campsand genocide are a suitable subject for exploration. To put them as the backdrop of your film. Yeah. I mean, some of the films themselves, they're quite interested in the background of making them. There was one made where all the Nazi concentration camp sets were actually the sets from Opens Heroes repurposed after the Soviet Union, produced by Bork and Kupfer, along with a lot of German uniforms. Right. Yeah. That's bizarre. But Hogan's Heroes is one of those bizarre tales in and of itself because of its history and twists and turns. Bing Crosby was the producer of Hogan's Heroes, which is kind of a weird tangent as well, if anybody remembers who Bing Crosby is. But yeah, to have a sitcom basically of World War II POWs is just at a time whenat that time, a lot of the viewing public would have been veterans. They would have been POWs. Yes, they would have been there. If you watch British war films in the 50s and 60s, one of the predominant sub-genres is POW films. Because for the British soldiers, because of Dunkirk and so many captured there, that became the predominant war experience for a huge section of British war veterans. That's what they remembered. So they made films about it. But isn't that interesting, though? You would think that they would avoid that subject because it probably wasn't the best. I can't imagine that the Nazis were great hosts even to the people that they weren't exterminating. Well, it depended, really. I mean, the thing that meant that they weren't treated wellextremely badly at most Allied bases. We won't kill you. We'll just beat you a little bit. There were a lot of German POWs incarcerated in the UK and Canada and they didn't want them to be mistreated. So it was a good pro quo. The Luftwaffe in particular, they ran the POW camps for Allied airmen who'd been shot down. Of course, there were a lot of lot of Luftwaffe crewmen incarcerated in the UK after the Battle of Britain. And they were mistreated. They mistreat the British and American POWs. Soviet POWs, different matter. They didn't care about them because they were Slavs and therefore saw them as basically subhuman. Right. Yeah. Hey, that's great. Well, Well, if people haven't figured it out, uh, doc is British and he lives in great Britain. And so, I mean, even, so I had relatives, you know, like great, uh, uncles who were in the world war two, right. And so forth. And we're still alive whenever I was little. And, um, and so, yeah, I mean, it is a different thing. And, and in America, we didn't suffer, um,the same way that the British did. Cause you know, if you watch the archives, the, you know, everything got bombed and, um, yeah, it was decimated in some areas. And so we did not get the, we got the experience, you know, you can't have chocolate and you guys, uh, had to hide in the underground. So, yeah, exactly. It's a, it's a key thing that British and American war films, um, they reflect two different experiences of the war. So many of ours, there's POW camps, and also it's about the home front. It's about being stoic in the face of this onslaught, which you couldn't do anything about if you were a civilian. You got bombed whether you liked it or not. Convoys were being sunk. You didn't get food. You didn't get bananas. Bananas became unknown in Britain during the war. Of course, to the US, the US homeland wasn't under threat. That wasn't an experience.their experience of World War II focuses more on them being victorious. Right, yeah. We're winning. We're going to win. You start with Kasserine Pass in North Africa. But then after that, it was generally a more positive sort of experience. Yeah. Any war can be positive. Well, I mean, if you think about movies as a business… those movies made a lot of money. And so it was very positive in that regard. There are many, many good American war movies, but they do reflect a different perspective to British war movies. And if you've ever seen German war movies, obviously they have a very different perspective. They're very perspective about why they followed the Nazi leadership for so long and all these moral questions. Japanese war movies…were interesting because a lot of them were made by the same people who made Godzilla films. And they have lots of miniature ships and things in them and planes and these huge battles. That's interesting because, you know, I don't think that I've ever seen, personally, I've ever seen a German or Japanese war movie. They do turn up at Europe so often. The most schizophrenic are Italian war movies. because they were on the wrong side for most of the wars. So Italian war movies are full of Italian actors pretending to be British or American. And the villains were always Germans, never the Italians. The Italians very rarely feature in their own war movies. Interesting. Yeah. See, that's why we don't get that over here so much. Being in Europe, I think there's a little bit maybe more access over the years. Yeah.now it would be, I suppose there should be access with streaming, but it's not, you know, we're kind of past that that date and I the goopy thing, what really hits me in the head when you mentioned that was the fact that I took, I have a film degree and I took a class on war movies. And I was thinking back and I'm like, we never, I don't remember ever watching a foreign war movie. We watched British movies, we watched American movies, but I don't remember watching anything outside of that unless… And I'm pretty sure this was in the Japanese movie. I watched a movie called Hiroshima Mon Amour. I don't know if a Japanese made that or not. It's a very interesting movie about… French, okay. Yeah, but it was… Yeah, well, maybe the Mon Amour would have gave it away to me. But the…about the, uh, atomic, uh, you know, Nagasaki and Hiroshima. And it's, it's, you know, an extremely sad movie. Right. Uh, and, but it's also quite artful if that's possible. It was. Yeah. you see french different experience again with their war movies they're all often about the resistance. Right. Oh, right. Yeah. Exactly. Why wouldn't?...

Bob rents heavy machinery from McLovin, while Miles gets put in his place at the pharmacy.

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https://youtube.com/live/A7L0hgP4QSA

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Oh, yeah. Okay. I swear to God, you just said my butthole. No. I don't know what you're talking about. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Static Show. This is Bob. Hey, everyone. This is Miles with Static Radio. Talking about his butthole. Talking about Bob's b-hole, apparently. Mm-hmm. Oh, whatever he's into. Considering the week you've had. Yeah, that's true. That's true, yeah. I believe, wasn't it in Clerks, all holes filled three? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I don't know. At the good old video store there? I don't know what I think about that. I can't talk about some things that happen to me. Yeah, talk about everything that happens to your old uncle Miles. I've got secrets. It changes. Tell me, Miles is a secret boy. That's right. I've got lots of secrets. You hear one? Can't tell you.Oh my goodness. I'm tired. So, you know, I've been doing yard work. Yeah, I'm always doing the yard work. I've been doing a lot of DIY stuff, you know. Yeah, you love doing that. Down in yonder. I don't know. Do it yourself, right? Yes. And I've rented I talked about renting the stump grinder a while back. I've rented a couple more things since then. One of them was a little mini bulldozer thing. Like a bobcat? Like a bobcat, but even smaller. You stand on the back of it And you got a big scoop and you scoop up stuff. I've been moving rocks. Skid loader. Like a skid loader. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Did you just look that up or something? I know rednecks. I speak redneck. I speak redneck. Yeah. Continue on. Some other languages. Yeah. So anyway, the place that I go to get these things, it's like a family run.you know, kind of place. And so, you know, there's on the inside, I mentioned on the outside, those guys, you know, we were going to outside on the inside. It's, it, it's like a grandpa and his grandson, uncle Jesse that work. No, not uncle Jesse, but the kid who the younger one, right. But he's, You know, he's not that young. He's probably like 30 or something. Yeah. Looks like McLovin. Ha ha ha! with a glass like christopher mince plentz his name is and looks like mcglovin he's got glasses. He's just kind of gawky and gangly and and he's always like frantic. Every time i go there to get something, you know, he's frantic. Or more so bringing it back because so like normal when you get it, I mean, he goes through and gives you the paper. You gotta sign away your life, you know, on this line that says basicallyyou're responsible if you kill yourself or you kill anyone else, or, you know, you lose a digit or two, um, you got to sign all this stuff. And, uh, you know, you guys, where you got big weekend plan. And, uh, yeah, I was going to hang out with you. What do you think? Yeah. And so then, so I bring them back the skid loader. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, and so he usually checks you back in. So you, you come in and he's, he's like, okay. And he's like, is it out? It's outside. Yeah. It's out the side door. Woo. He runs out there, you know, and he checks it over to make sure I haven't broken it. Um, yeah. And checks to make sure I put gas in it. Cause that's one of the big, sure. Yeah.you have to spray it down. You can't bring it back all filthy. Right. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Spaz. So then, but this one last time I went, he, he did that and he goes, okay, nobody's here yet. Uh, bring it on around back and we'll get it off the trailer. Uh, and, uh, I'm like, okay, so I drive around into the yard and, uh, I'm, you know, get parked and I'm doing the wind down, you know, to put the foot down so you can take a hitch off the back of the thing there. Oh, yeah. And, oh, my God, I thought he was going to throw a fit. I wasn't doing it fast enough. Come on, man. He's like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.Or his hands in his pants when he was doing this? Well, no, his hands were out front of him waving me. You may ask yourself, how did I get here? Do you want to do this? Yeah. I swear he's got 100 cups of coffee every morning or something. It's so weird. He seems like a real nice guy. It's really weird to have McLovin, you know, be your… Would you have him at your house for supper? No. I wouldn't have anybody at my house for supper. What are you talking about? Well, I know. I just want to check and see. Sometimes you get a little weird and you're like, well… No. Well, no. I mean, he seems like a nice enough guy, but… Would you let him go to your house and, like, do work, guard work? Or he'd be like, you're too frightened? No. No, I wouldn't. Yeah. Me?Yeah, he's nice. I don't know. The relationship that we have built as customer and rental merchant is fine with me. And then his grandpa's in there. And I mean, he seems like he's all there. But I mean, he kind of just meanders around. And I'm like, because, you know, McLovin is like a chicken with his head cut off running around. How's it going today? Yeah. I think it's going to rain. How do you leave a poor lock in suspense? What's on small tech? Well, he just kind of, you know, doesn't really wouldn't answer the questions or no, I mean, He might ask you, are you being helped? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, wow. He's just kind of hanging out. Are you related to that weird kid outside? They have to be. They look very similar. He looks like really old McLovin. Yeah. But it's just kind of one of those weird… When you first walk in, you're like, I mean, it really looks like him.I mean, he's really… It's like, is this for real? And then he acts real spastic like that and everything. I didn't see his ID, so I don't know if he was from Florida or whatever, but his name is not really McLovin. Yeah, right. But yeah, I'm like, this is uncanny. I should sneak a picture next time, right? Yeah. I feel bad if I do that, but I really probably, you know, people aren't going to believe me. I'm like, you got to come to this rental place and see McLovin at work, you know. Hey, can I drive the skid loader? I don't know. Can you? Can you? Yeah. So, yeah, McLovin helped me take that off the trailer, and then he's, like, shooing me away. Everything's in a rush with this guy. You're not a man. You're half a man.I try not to be in a total rush like that for the most part. I rented a skid loader from McLovin. How many people are going to say that? Not many. And his grandpa. Jesse's. Well, I don't know what his name is. I didn't ask. I didn't ask what either one of them's name is. As far as I'm concerned, it's like McLovin, you know, the third and original McLovin. I don't know. Yeah. Well. So, yeah. You know. But I don't have any. I'll have to wait. I don't have any rentals coming up soon. I'm done with my project. And so I got to wait for a new project later in the year here. Mm-hmm. So no more McLevin stories. Although, you know, he's just a delightful young man, other than the spastic nature of his persona. I'm sure you'll be back. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it was one of those things where, you know, I didn't want to… I don't want to pay the money that it takes to rent these things. But when I… Moving rocks, I'm like…Okay. I'm going to pay the money. And I'm like, God damn, this worked really good. I'm never going to, I'm never not going to pay the money again. It just works so well. I paid a hundred dollars for the GD machine. Better work. Right. Better work. Yeah. Being lovey will be mad if it doesn't. But no, I was like, yeah, I made, it made the quick work of everything. having that deal, and I got the hang of it, man. I could really scoop those rocks. What? I got done scooping rocks. I filled holes. Oh, all right. No bragging, man. No bragging. I went out in the yard, and I got some dirt and filled in holes. Oh, good for you. Good for you.I know you're not into hole-filling. You're more into… I'm into hole-filling. But, you know… I had some hole-filling. Yeah. But, yeah, McLovin. McLovin Rental. Yeah. You can get a skid load for that. Yeah. But I would highly recommend, if you've never, you know, rented… Rented from McLovin and his grandpa. Rented from McLovin. It might be worth the… It might be worth the look. Yeah. And grandpa talks a lot, yeah. Well… I wanted to ask him, like, are you Joe Biden's speech writer? What are you? Okay. Look at that guy over there, clapping, huh? All right. Well… Yeah. But it's weird having the celebrity lookalike for a rental, you know, person. They also do weddings, by the way, just in case you need to know. They rent wedding stuff. You want doves? We got doves. Chairs. I got the tents. The cake stand. The tents. Yeah, they do it all. It used to be Bob's Pants. Well, I was going to say, yeah, you beat me to that one. I was going to say it used to be Miles DeShiki. Yeah.made it into two tents. So what's going on with you, sir? Uh, well, I didn't rent anything thank god but i had a chance to spend some time with my oldest son, miles jr uh this week that's nice. He's always a busy he's a busy lad he's hard to pin down. So I, uh, yeah, I can imagine. He's like, oh, hey, I got nothing to do. I go, hey, I got nothing to do. Let's run some errands. And he goes. Anything like his old man. He's never where you want him to be at. Pretty much, yeah. Like, yeah, we can either really work on something like this skid loader or just F off. Yeah, we can just F off. And he's like, well, I have to go to a couple places, including this big chain drugstore, which we will not name. Right, Dave? Oh, what?Right. Yeah, let's go. Right. So we went to ride aid and, uh, we get there and there is no one in line, which is like very unusual. Very interesting. He's like, well, I've got, you know, I'm trying to order some stuff. I'm having some problems with it. So we should go in. I said, okay, we go in. There's no one there....

Miles gets tough with an authority figure, while Bob sees what goes on behind the scenes.

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Bad AI Transcript of the show this week

ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta Hey, everybody. What are we saying? This is Bob. Marijuana. Hey, everyone. Miles. Is that another version? Yes, it is. Last verse. Oh, is that from your high school days? No, that's from the song, actually. The real song. Oh, okay. I had no idea. Weird wow stuff. That's right. You would not know that, I know. I know, well… a native speaker like yourself i know you love to impress people with your ability to speak yes spanish i love spanish love it It's your best thing. Makes me feel good all inside. Glad all over. Yeah. And then some. And then some. So… You okay there? Yeah, I'm just going to hack up some loogie while I'm going to mute myself. Well, hey, every night, every time we record, it's like you just got home from football practice. I got mesothelioma or something. Do you really? I don't know. I just guessed. You got everything. Anything they advertise, you got it. You got it. You got it.No, I'm all right. I need all the drugs. I got it. I'm so tired of being dead. I'm so tired of being dead. Won't you put a tombstone above my head? Everybody. Yeah. They were already old when they started that group. They weren't that old. Older than me. No, they were not. Yes, all of them were. Negative. Nope. What? Nope. I would look that up, my friend. You would be wrong. At the time they started, not now. You would be wrong. You would be wrong. Who was younger than me when that group started? Roy Orbison. You're such an idiot. Roy Orbison, the oldest one. He was 75 when that group started. Look it up. It's true. Look it up. All right. I meant when the group started, not today. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. When that group started, I was like 30 or something. Right. And Roy Orbison definitely was not 30. No, I'm saying your age now. I mean, you're like 75 or something. No, you said my age now. No, I didn't. I said not my age now.No, you said no. You said my age now. No. There was not a not in it. Swear to God. Anyhow, let's not talk about them anymore. Hey. So… Yeah, let's talk about me for once. Talk about you and your… For once, okay. Your freaking obsession with old rock stars. Yeah. Everybody. Yeah, okay, enough. We don't need to hear it. We did Red and the Monkey Man. We're hot up for cash. Yeah, okay. All right, go ahead. So anyway, you've been making fun of me because I've been trying to be a more active person. To be a man. In my past. I'm not a gym person, per se. Right. I've not been a gym person You know, I did, you know, in high school, in school, go to gym. And then, you know, I had to go to the gym in college because I hurt my leg so bad. That's where I had to go for rehabilitation when I hurt my leg. But I've not been an avid, you know, gym rat kind of person. So here lately I've been going and trying to do some stuff, you know.You made fun of me for doing aqua aerobics. So I've been swimming, right? Like swimming laps and things. Right. And so I've noticed a trend at the gym. So I go early in the morning. I go first. My wife and I go together. We go and we swim. And, you know, we put in our time, do our regiment, whatever you want to call it. And then, you know, because everything's segregated by men and women, she goes to the women's locker room. Right, right. What were you thinking I was going to say? No, you know, I mean, you live by St. Louis and you start talking about segregation. I go, oh, geez, I don't. Oh, no. And then I go to the men's locker room. Yeah. Here recently, I've noticed a trend. Men with uncircumcised penis. No, that wasn't where I was going with that. I was just trying to speed along your story a little bit. I'm sorry. Have I taken too much time for you?Well, no, there's this whole Andy Rooney buildup. I'm like, all right, let's cut to the chase a little bit here. Okay, so the other day, I get done swimming. I'm tallying off as I'm walking into the men's locker room. You have to walk up through the showers, and then you're into the open space that is the locker room. Yes, okay. And there's two guys in there talking about home repairs or something. Mm-hmm. and i happen to notice one guy is fully clothed right and the other guy's donald ducking it because all he's got is a shirt on Wait, no bottoms? No bottoms. Oh, my God. None. None. They're looking at each other, right? Yeah. And one guy's sitting on the bench with no bottoms. No. No. And the other guy's standing up leaning against the lockers. I'm thinking about doing some drywall. No. Uh-uh. No. Yes. Yes. No.And I proceed to get fully clothed and leave, having been dripping wet in the bathing suit, fully clothed and leave, and the guy's still sitting there with no pants on and just a shirt on. And I get out to the car and I told my wife, I'm like, this guy was Donald Ducking it in the locker room for like the whole, like probably a good five or seven minutes while I was in there. No. It gets worse. Oh, well, he's sitting on like a public, like a bench, like his bare ass. In the locker room. Yeah. With his bare ass on the. Oh, God. He may have had a towel. I don't know. I wasn't looking that close. So then just today, today I get done swimming. I come in, I'm telling off. I walk into the open locker room, totally different guy. Yeah. Standing there with just a shirt on no pants.Talking about building something. I mean, it was almost as if he was like a really, like he, it was, you're walking down a tunnel and then it's just, he's right there. You can see everything. And it was not, I mean, it was, it wasn't worth seeing. I don't want to see it. I mean, this is not something that I would want to see ever. When I get dressed, pants and underwears and pants would go on first. I got news for you. No way. These guys just standing around with just a shirt on. Just a shirt on commencingly. Hey, what's going on? With no movements to put any underwear or anything on. No movement. No towel. They're not even trying. They're just standing there talking to each other, I suppose, I guess. I tried not to use drop. Hey, you guys talk about drywall? Yeah. Usually, it seems like it's about building. I don't know if they change it when I get in there. They change their language. I don't know. I enjoy mold. Here comes that weirdo. I'm going to talk about buildings.They're all talking about mulch. They're all ducking it with their dicks out, with their no pants, you know, just a shirt on. If they start talking about mulch, like, you'd be right there like, hey, wait a minute. I don't want to talk about mulch. How about some rocks? And bones. Yeah. This guy, a different guy. Not the same guy. Two different guys. No. There's no way. Yeah. Oh, yes way. I… I'm going to have to get a tally sheet because this is happening way too often. There is no way I'm going to converse with someone in that state of undress. That would be my, I'd be like, I'll catch you outside. Yeah. 10 good minutes here. I'm going to be outside. This is a changing room. This isn't the conversing with your pants off room.I guess. Is that a thing? That's what I'm asking you. I figured you might know. You're a little bit more in the know of these things. No, I have not really been in a locker room situation for a long time. But anyway, I just was like, I was telling my wife, she's like, no pants. I'm like, yeah, no pants. I'm like, Donald Duck, just a shirt. that's weird. I'm sorry, man. It's weird. Yeah. You know, nobody had, uh, it was aroused or anything, but it certainly was. Hey, let's hang some wet towels. Let's see who wins. Yeah. I was like, I just, I just got my stuff together and got out. Yeah. You just put on your shirt and walked out. Oh, sure. I know. Walked right out of there. Mr. McGillicuddy. I mean, no towel, no towel inside. No shame either. No shame. Apparently. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not secure enough, I guess, to sit around half some other dudes. Let me tell you, these guys should not have been secure enough either. Yeah.Were these dudes older than you, you think? No, probably very similar. Maybe a little bit, maybe not. I can never tell anymore. Yeah, you didn't converse with them like, hey, Bob Lament here. Hey, let's talk about drywall and hang some dogs. You know where a 16 putting nail is, Bob? Yeah. I would probably went over there. Hey, let's put some underwear on. I mean, that line from, uh, what color is your underwear? Cause I would love to see them on. Yeah. I'm thinking about that line from, uh, the hangover where he's like, dude, I think it's weird. I have to ask you a second time to put on some pants or whatever. There's something, the line is something like that. That is weird. There was no Bradley Coopers. It was all Zach Galifianakis, let me tell you. Yeah. Dude's hanging dong. Yeah. That would be a loose… I would not even say anything to my wife. I'd be like, I'm not going back. Why? Why?I just, I hurt myself. I'm not going to go do that again. I hurt myself. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I mean, it is a locker room, so you're going to see, you know, butts and whatnot, but I didn't, I'm like standing around talking about building things and you're naked from the waist down. I mean, someone just quickly dropping trowel or something, you know, that would be expected, but you know, just to have like a full fledged conversation, like. Hold on. Let me take off my tighty whiteys. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. Talk to me now. Now, the one guy who was sitting down, I got dressed. I went and I urinated and then left still sitting there, no pants. that's a little long. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's way too long. I mean, unless you got it's like some kind of doctor's note that says you have to air dry. If it was me, I would be, uh, dressed in record time. I'd be,...

This Week

Welcome to LeMent Tonight, where host Bob welcomes comedian Cali Haan from Clean Mic. After some initial technical difficulties, the show kicks off with Cali's humorous anecdotes about her experiences, including being bullied by a coworker who resembles a hippie and her interactions at a sober support group. Cali shares her unique job as a forest fire lookout, detailing the challenges she faces with remote living and the monotony of her observations. The conversation shifts to her comedy career, particularly her involvement in Zoom comedy, which has become a platform for those with mobility or financial constraints. Throughout the show, Cali engages in comedic banter with Bob and the audience, discussing various topics and even participating in a game where they riff on words related to their assigned characters. The show wraps up with encouragement for Cali's comedic journey and a humorous reflection on her life experiences.

Cali Haan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoFLbwtKMSs

Bad AI Transcript

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Lament Tonight. You can all dance. Tonight's guest is Callie Hahn from Clean Mic on Thursdays at 11 o'clock Pacific here on Plausible. And I guess we'll get right toWelcome, everybody. Now we have some difficulties here for a couple minutes, but everything's working now. But not to the satisfaction of at least one audience member. But that's okay, right? There's no big deal. We're not going to let that ruin our night, are we? No? Everybody is so lively. I can't believe it. So Callie Hahn is here from Clean Mic. Callie and Kim do the Clean Mic show each week or almost each week. We'll put it that way, right? And Callie, why don't you go ahead and I'll bring you up on stage here. Thanks, Bob. Let's do the…Let's do some bits here. Hey,Super to see you. My name's Callie. I'm from Canada. And some nights you are so sexy, yeah? Young men stare at you left and right. You finish your piece of pizza, throw out the plate and realize, oh, those guys just wanted my pizza. Okay, cool. True story. True story. Let's get real right away. How about that? Yeah. I'm getting bullied at work. I'm getting bullied at work by a hippie. Yeah. I'm getting bullied by a guy that looks like Jesus. Okay. He's like, he's like, forgive them father, but never forgive Callie. You know, It's so weird when your enemy is a hippie because I thought my enemy was the man. I'm basically a hippie. I just have good taste. I try to turn the situation around. I say, hey man, the cosmos. Hey man, lava lamp. He just stares at me with long hair hate andUm, I think he wants to kick me too, but he only wears sandals. So who cares? Anyways, um, I even tried to apologize, but he hates it when I say words. So I try to say less and less words, even less and less letters. Like I say, hi, bye, huh, but you know, do you think that'll work? anyway also I got problems at my support group, at my sober support group is a mean lady, Linda, who hates me, but the support group gives free coffee and muffins. So I keep going back, you know and I know Linda hates me because if I speak again if I speak she digs her fingers into her muffin so hard. that it breaks. Yeah. So for a while I felt so bad inside. I was like, sorry, Linda. No, sorry, sorry, sorry. But then one day I was like, Oh, wait a minute. What makes you so great, Linda? Like everyone here crappy, you know? So, so then I had so much, uh, support group coffee. I felt suicidal, homicidal, but not towards Linda. No, I wanted toMurder the coffee. Yeah. And then I prayed. Yeah, I prayed. I prayed for Linda. I said, dear God, please make Linda relapse so she doesn't come anymore. Yeah, and Linda switched groups, so cool. And now I eat Linda's muffin because that's what God wants, clearly. Yeah, I wish my enemies knew I'm so, so very spiritual, you know, like don't you miss those old school Jesus days when everything was a miracle, you know, like in one story, such a beautiful story, all the fishes lined up by the beach. And they had their heads sticking out of the water. And they were lined up from shortest to tallest. So in the front was little minnows all the way back to big whales. And they were gathered to hear St. Francis speak about divine love. Today the fish are dead in a McDonald's sandwich. Today the fish are sticks. Yeah, they're fish sticks. Yeah.Mmm, delicious. Okay, thank you. That's my set, and I'm rocking it back to Bob. All right. Thank you, Callie. Hey, very good job. I was thinking for a minute that maybe you were referring to one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish instead of Jesus, but it could be your Bible. I don't know. Maybe it is Dr. Seuss. But thank you very much. That was fantastic. Yeah, thank you. Well, that's nice that you compared it to Dr. Seuss. What an honor. Yeah, I'm trying to dumb it down like that much. Oh my goodness. That's funny. So we'll have a quick commercial and we'll be right back here with Callie. Callie can tell us some more stuff, okay? Here, watch this. It may be familiar.supposed to be making noise, but apparently it's not goingAnd it's backwards. That's even better.Should we narrate it? Yes, Bob. No, no. Yes.have to do this guy, Will. Traffic is bad. It's real bad. Traffic's bad.why you need clean comedy. AI is going to take over the world, but not tonight, apparently. That's right. I did that about 15 minutes ago and it's backwards and you can't hear it. So that's all good. It'll get funnier. Well, so Callie, I, I, I don't know you extremely well, but I have been on, let's see, where was I at? You and I were on something together and I felt not, I don't know if you, maybe you were doing a bit or not. I took it that this is really true, but you work for the forestry service of some kind. I do. Yeah. I'm working now as a lookout observer. I am a forest fire lookout. Yeah. Yeah. I, I believe that. And then tonight, whenever I was getting, you know, doing that crappy AI thing, I'm like, wait a minute. Maybe she was not, maybe she was just being funny. No, that's real.Because you were in the tower whenever you were doing the thing here and you were in the tower and you're like, wait a minute, I have to go look for a fire. Yeah. So how does one, well, unfortunately in Canada right now, there are fires in the forest that have been happening for a while. So how does one get to be A forest fire lookout person. It's not that hard because it's not that popular. There's not like a big test or anything? No, no. They kind of, yeah, they make it idiot proof. They have to be idiot proof. Because I'm up here for four months straight by myself. Are you there now? Yeah, I'm still there now. Oh, okay. Well, I couldn't tell because your background was different from the last time I saw you. This is my Italian terrace background. Oh, wow. What you do is you hide the doorknob with a rose. Oh. That's the doorknob. I didn't even realize until now you pointed that out. So how do you get Wi-Fi up there?It's cool. We have like super… I have like some kind of super power Wi-Fi satellite situation. Oh, okay. Like Skylake or whatever? Yes. Oh, my. Normally it goes out a lot, but this year I haven't had it out at all. Oh, wow. So it's getting better then. Yeah. So you beat out the competition for this job to be a fire lookout. Now… how thick is the training pamphlet for this job? How much did you have to study? They actually did do a good training course. I did like an eight day training course. Wow. Eight days. A town called Hinton. Industrial town. And, uh, in Northern Alberta. Well, maybe middle Alberta basically, but might as well be Northern. And, uh, yeah, it's good to go to thick binder, uh,And you learn, so you have to basically tell weather and you just have to have, you have to be obsessive, I guess. That's one quality because you obsessively stare at the land. But this year has been incredibly wet and cloudy. So like half of the time, my lookout has been enshrouded in clouds. Oh, really? Not much I can see. So then what, what do you, what's the notation for the day? Can't see? Oh, It's called Obscured. Obscured. Yep. That's good. That could be the name of your band while you're up there. You got a harmonica and you can start recording some music as Obscured. Yeah, it's kind of like my jokes too. So you have a lot of time to think, I'm guessing. Too much. Because you're, I mean, you don't get to go home at night. You're just there.Yeah. I get helicopter food once a month. And that's, I see people like for 10 minutes. Yeah. What, so what comes in the care package? What kind of goodies do you get as part of this gig? Well, actually I bought, well, it's all me like, no, well, whatever I give myself, Bob. Oh, you get to order it. Yeah. I gave myself these Lego flowers. Oh, I love those. We actually have some of those at home. Those are very good. Yeah, because they don't die. Yeah. Will cannot believe it's a Lego. I can see in his eyes. Do you believe it? I'm like, I would have had for Popeye's chicken, but anyway. Unlimited. Unlimited. You're thinking about the food drop. That's all that's in your mind, Will. Yes.So do you get to make your grocery list then? Do you type it in? Yeah, you do on an online platform right now. Right now I don't have a lot of food actually and I'm kind of mad. I'm pretty mad about it. Do they give you a budget for this or do you just get whatever you want? I pay for the food. What? What? I told you it's not popular. So you're buying your own food remotely and you're paying outrageous Instacart fees to get it flown in. No, no, no. I'm not paying for the helicopter. Oh, okay. Good. Thank God. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. I would assume that they would pay for the food to be honest with you. Yeah. That would be good. Maybe you would assume that as well when you signed up and then it didn't happen and you're like, well. The government's not waste. Like somebody asked me, oh, you're going to get it....

Lonnie Zamora

The Lonnie Zamora incident, a notable UFO sighting that occurred in 1964 in Socorro, New Mexico. A police officer, Lonnie Zamora, reported seeing a metallic object and two figures in white coveralls after investigating a loud noise and flame in the sky. The discussion explores various theories about the incident, including military tests and elaborate hoaxes, while also touching on the humorous and absurd elements of the situation, like the idea of aliens just taking a break. Throughout, the hosts engage in playful banter, including a quiz about the details of the incident.

1000 Crazy Questions

https://youtube.com/live/RuGBu6GQbXQ

Nick T

Join Bob in conversation with 1 Nick, and hear his wild story about friendship, hardship, and giving away a kidney.

2 Nicks 1 Cup

https://youtube.com/live/R_OP0qr61T0

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Hey everybody and welcome. This is Bob. And today I am talking to one Nick of the possible two Nicks, but always only one cup. Is that correct? Yes. Always one cup. Only one cup ever. You never go like a Nick and three cups or two Nicks and five cups or anything like that? Sometimes we do two Nicks, one Bob. Okay. Where's the other nick at then? We're missing it. You know, he, during the day, it's tougher schedule with him because he's from socal and with his business, so sometimes it gets harder for him to do these interviews with me. So I kind of became, like, I always try to tell people, like, when it comes to us, we're kind of like joe rogan and theo Vaughn, like,At the end of the day, Joe Rogan always became the face of it. It's the same way. I became the face, and I was the one that decided to do all the interviews. I got you. I see what you're saying. You know what? I have a similar situation sometimes here. I have a co-host. His name is Miles Tidal, and he never shows up during the day. I think the guy's a vampire, to be honest with you. He always shows up at night. it'd be like that. Yeah, exactly. So, uh, I was on pod match. I got a note from nick and he's like, Hey, guess what? I think, uh, we should probably talk because i'm not reading this verbatim by the way. Uh, but because of the humor. And so i'm like, all right, Nick. All right. One Nick. I wasn't sure. Uh,Let's talk. So tell me, let's start out of the gate, because I always hate it when people are like, we'll talk about what you're doing at the end. No, let's talk about it right now. So people can go listen to your show at Podbean, Two Knicks, One Cup. How would you describe Two Knicks, One Cup to a person who didn't know anything about it? I'll tell you. So my Two Knicks, One Cup started… With me and another live streamer, because I started off. Yes. Yes. And so me and DJ boy, AKA Nick number two, we started the podcast as two live streamers. And it was because the live stream game has changed. And in the world of content, it really isn't about content now. It's really just about people throwing money and kind of just recycling. And it's just not genuine. It's just not genuine. That impression is what you're telling me. You mean the impression. Yeah. So it started getting to the point where it didn't matter. TikTok favorited it.see to where I was a top badge, meet me where I stand in the top 1000 out of 7 million streamers all time. Like, you know, at the end of the day, it all became a money grab and just people just shifting money. So I had a bunch of my number one gifters, a few of them being top badge, top content creators that said, Nick, you're better than this. Go do a podcast, okay? You make people laugh. You talk about things that are serious. You're all over the board with your sense of humor, and you're all over the board with where you stand on what you talk about. So go start a podcast. So my podcast ended up starting with content creating and ended up going everywhere. Okay.I mean, if you look at my episodes, it goes everywhere from mental health to traditional lives versus independent boss lives, from everything from Nick's rants to continent blocking, which is when you block somebody trying to date a girl from another continent because you're trying to date her. Mm-hmm. I've never heard of that. Yes. Everybody knows what cock blocking is. We have continent blocking. Continent blocking. Okay. I didn't even know that was a thing, to be honest with you. I made it a thing. Does that happen all the time? It does in the live streamer world. Oh, okay. A lot of people from Australia tend to date U.S. A lot of people from the U.S. date people from the U.K., And a lot of us date people from Canada. So when you say date, though, I mean, you're not actually going to dinner or anything. You're just talking online, aren't you? No, no. Like, I dated a girl and then flew over to Nottingham in UK. Really? Yeah, yeah. That is a big commitment right there. It is. It is. But I own my own security staffing firm there.And I do stuff like Lollapalooza and Coachella. So I'm able to make that move. I have a daughter who's 18 who's going to play D1 college basketball this year. So I have that freedom to fly over to another country. Wow. Did it work out? No, not at all. I'm single now. Maybe, you know, Hopping Continents is not the play. Maybe, you know. You know what it is? Maybe see if somebody's there. Listen, I'm a Dollar General daddy, okay? I walk into Dollar General, I'm a hard 11, okay? I've got options in Dollar General. I mean, I walk into a Macy's, you're like, eh, I mean, he's okay looking. I walk into a Walmart, you're like, hmm. I walk into a Dollar General, they're like, god damn!Oh, my goodness. All these rating systems are new to me as well. I didn't think about that. I started the department store rating. Okay. Well, that's fantastic. Yeah, I can see that now that you've mentioned it, I can see the scale in my head. You know what I mean? Like, I walk into Nordstrom's, I'm like a five. I walk into Walmart, I got options, okay? I'm not in the NASCAR. Okay. That's pretty wild. Okay. Hey, everybody's got their place, right? The funny thing is if you don't like what you're rated, change the scale. Am I right or what? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If you don't like where you're at, okay, you're not getting looks at Nordstrom, then okay, go walk into a Dollar General. Go walk in. Go be a Dollar General baddie, okay? Go be a Dollar General baddie.So then, so you are one of the Knicks. Who's the other Nick at this point? I know we had a previous Nick. Do you want to even mention that person or no, just move on? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. The new Nick is DJ, your boy. And, you know, he's another live streamer. He's a good dude. And, you know, he rides with me. Okay. Only not during the day, apparently. No, only not during the day. Yeah, only not during the day. During the day, he's busy, apparently, at the Dollar General picking up women. Yeah, I mean, I could see him being the Dollar General daddy. I could see him being an average at Nordstrom's on the rating scale. Okay, so then, like, if you're bringing this kind of energy, then what's the other Nick bringing to the show? You know…like to say he's got the same energy i got. And, you know, to me, he's a very good, he's very good scotty Pippen. Okay, like, there's days he knows to give me the ball and just get the hell out of my way and let me run with the episode. Gotcha, gotcha. And he knows how to feed me. He knows how to segue into the next topic. And, you know, he does what he does at a high level. Okay. And how did you meet up with the other Nick there? What was the antithesis of that? Because you had previous Nick and then he, I don't know, he fell by the wayside. So you got new Nick. Well, previously, the problem was there wasn't a dedication to building the podcast. Right, yeah. See, people get caught up with the streaming world because they think they can make money now when they're not really making money. At the end of the day, instead of building something strong, okay, I'm somebody that my sponsor is giving me my own energy drink. Mm-hmm.So, I mean, we have… Was it called Tunix One Cup? What's the name of it? Actually, because my emoji in the lot is a lion in the streaming world, me and their marketer went with Fuel the Roar. Oh, okay. And it says inspired by BNIC Energy, and it's at swiftenergy.gg. Oh, there you go. And if you put in the code, all capitals, BNICKENERGY, that's the letter B, and then Nick Energy, 25, you'll get 25% off your total purchase. Oh, gosh. That's a big discount that you're giving there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. You get 120 servings. There's no jitters, no crash. I love it. So the – How long have you been with this sponsor? These sponsors have been with me now for about two months out of my four months of a podcast. Oh, okay. So they're coming in early. Yes, yes. I mean, I've been blessed. Like, I got 1,000 downloads in a week. That's great.Yeah, yeah. I mean, I look at the numbers. I like to know where people are at my phase. And at my phase, you know, when I go on Google and I look up statistics and numbers, the average podcast at my, you know, four to six months, you know, six months to a year, they're doing like 170 to 250 listens a month. Right, yeah. So… when my average per month, I mean, I did a thousand in a week at four months at the, like the three and a half mark I did, you know what I mean? So like, I haven't quite hit four months yet. And here we are getting, you know, a thousand a week, but consistently I'm getting two 50 a week, 300 a week. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. So, uh,So, I mean, where do you want to be? Obviously, you said you were doing streaming and doing pretty well. I love streaming. I love streaming and dedicated to podcasting because my top five gifters all time out of my top ten sat down with me and they told me they didn't like who I was becoming. Told me that I was capable of bigger and better things. So to not lose my potential in streaming and, and, and, you know, Just sitting there staying neutral, right? Like doggy paddling to stay alive for fun and growing. Instead, they told me to take my talents and start a podcast. And so I went to my Instagram and And I literally reached across every streaming platform that I had been on. The people had known my reputation because I was a verified streamer on favorited. I was a top badge on C2. I hung out with people when I went over to kick and just hung out, you know, K I K I would go over to, you know, tagged and hang out once in a while and,you know, just to get away from my app and just hang out with people that had different content. And, you know,...

Bob is surprised because Miles actually showed up after he was invited to play pinball in McLean.

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I'm like, Ash. Apparently, you don't invite Miles' title over. It only perpetuates it. I'm trying to drink, jerk, all right? Thanks a lot. Hey everybody, what we're saying is this is Bob and I'm chiplets and your house smells like ash. We got this new Glade freshener. It smells like ass. That's right, honey. Smells like ass. Fresh ass. With a name like ass, it's got to be good. Hey, everybody. Welcome. Yeah. Welcome. You never know what's going to come out of Miles' mouth just before I hit the record button. I know. Last week, I was talking about top guys and bottom guys, and this week, this house smells like ass. This house smells like ass. It does. It's your house. Do something. Get some sage or something. I live with like 20 animals and two other humans. It smells like ass around here, right? Yeah.Are you trying to blame somebody for this? If I could open the windows right now, I would. I mean, are you not partially at fault, perhaps? You know what? I just had a dog unbeknownst to me eat out of the litter and put her snout on my arm and left shitty litter on my forearm. I had to go wash off Right after our pre-show chit-chat that we like to do. Yeah, nice. Gross. A little pecan sandy. Yeah, nice. I want to see that. I don't know. Your house. I'm glad your house has filters built in and stuff and magical shit. You know, whatever. Actually, we do have some. I know. I know. You have some weird thing. Hapafelter. Yeah, I know. You got all sorts of cool stuff. Yeah, we got all kinds of weird stuff going on here. Yeah, I've been there. Been there. Yeah, exactly. It's like Scaramunga. He's got all this cool stuff. Nick, Nick. Scaramunga.Yeah. I have a little guy lives in the walls. Does my bidding. He dresses real nice. So, uh, apparently just like a, um, you know, like an eclipse every few years, uh, miles and I actually saw each other in person, uh, on Saturday. We had our, uh, Mandate. So, yeah. Mandate. Sounds like a court order or something. It was a mandate. No, I was just kidding. No, I happened, I was tagging along on a business, pseudo business trip with my wife to Bloomington, Illinois. I said, Miles, there's this really interesting place in McLean. called Arcade Unlimited. I thought it was a strip club. I was like, okay. That's right. You're like, Arcade? I know all her work. Oh, yeah. And I said, why don't you come over? We'll go check this thing out. It's got all these pinball machines and stuff like that, games and whatnot. And, you know, I threw it out there. I said, I'm going to go. Whether you go or not, I'm going. Mm-hmm.And, you know, I figured about 50, 50 chance. I figured it at 50, 50. My wife was more like a 70, 30. Yeah. That you would not even show up. Yeah. But you did. I did. And I was early. Yeah. And you were early. Exactly. Actually, the funny thing about you being early, let me, uh, I got to look here and see if I can find it. So I took a picture of, I was kicking around waiting for, you know, I was a little early waiting for you to show up and, oh, you aren't in my picture. That's what I was looking for. And I took a picture of a Coca-Cola, like on the side of a brick building, somebody had, they painted like a Coca-Cola sign.advertisement and a thing for a barbershop. And I took a picture and the next thing i know, I'm walking in that direction and there's a guy flipping me off. It was you! It was me! About 10 minutes early, which is like unheard of. Oh, I was 20 minutes early at least. Oh no, I know you're only 10 minutes early because i mean, tops was 15 because i was just walking around killing 15 minutes because i was early. Well, I knew you'd be early. I'm like, he's early. I know it. Yeah. And then there he is. I'm like, I don't even know this idiot. He's flipping me off. And then i realized it's you. I didn't even i i had there was no thought in my mind. This would be you because it was early. I'm like, oh who's this? Who's this fat dork flipping me off here?That's rude. That's really fucking rude. And I'm walking towards him. I'm like, Oh God, this is going to be, this is going to ruin my day. Got the town idiot flipping me off. Wait a minute. That's miles. Christ. It just seemed right. I don't know why. Yeah, it just seemed like a good thing. Well, I knew we weren't going to embrace. I knew that. Yeah, no, that's for sure. What's the next best thing? I'm going to flip him off. That's what I'm going to do. Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much. And I have to close my eyes every time. Anyway. Yeah, so then I'm like, what are the odds? I would have never. No one would take the 10 minutes early on that bet. Yeah. So, yeah, we hung out for a few hours and played a bunch of different pinball and old video games. Lots of fun. Lots of fun. Now, I will tell you that Miles looked likea fat Chewbacca Because it had some kind of bandolero thing going on. Had something strapped across your chest and I'm like, is that some kind of man bra? Has he got like one saggy or something? With my strap on. Yeah. No, I was at Norlings and I thought, well, heck, I'm going to use this again. So, The funny thing, though, is it's a fanny pack that you put across your chest. Will it not fit around your fanny? I don't know. I was told to wear it like that. Who told you to wear it like that? I do it like Indiana Jones style. I think you're thinking of a different… type of indiana jones movie when you're saying that i think yeah i'm a little disappointed you didn't mention the nasty gross gray sweatpants well that's a given i don't understand how you can't like actually put regular clothes on anymore i mean have you totally outgrown you haven't there's no way you could have outgrown your pants because your legs haven't grown since you're yeahYou're like a preteen. You got like these preteen legs sitting on top of this middle-aged body. I made you a promise. I said, every time we meet now, I want to be wearing these gray ass. Well, you can, I'm happy for you to break that promise. All right. Well, maybe I will. Maybe you need to, you need to invest in some pants. And I had my holy underwear on, too, that I was talking about. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's constantly like, my sweatpants are falling down. I was like, it was like special day there at the arcade. Come on, Miles. Oh, my sweatpants are falling down. Woo. I'm like, buddy. Yeah. Get a drawstring. Come on. Yeah. Then he goes into the bathroom at the arcade and proceeds to light it up. So he lit up the bathroom. It's like stink is just going everywhere. It's his fucker with a lavender shirt. He got in there before I did. Oh, yeah, sure.Hey, I'm like, I listen, I'm an old diabetic now, man. I got to take a whiz, you know, I'm waiting and waiting and waiting. I'm like, Oh, this guy, I hope he's playing with and that shit. No, he comes out, you know, like sheepishly like, Oh fuck. I'm like, okay, I'm going. I can tell you right now in a lineup, no one would pick the guy in the lavender shirt to blow up that bathroom. They'd pick you. They're like, They're like, look, this guy's wearing old sweatpants that are all stained. I look like Schwarzenegger on Mars in a little recall. When they run out of all the oxygen, they're all like. Right. Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God. I don't know what this guy ate, but it was lethal. Oh, my God. It was terrible. I was smelling it outside of the bathroom. I give him an A plus for blowing up the bathroom. Holy cow. Yeah. Well, I thought it was you.Cause I didn't notice until after you went in there and I'm like, Oh my God, of course I had to go. We, we, of course we're going to have to, we're going to have to leave now. No, I don't care. I don't care. A bunch of parents with little kids anyway. I mean, who am I trying to impress anyway? I'm like, fuck it. I don't care. Well, with those sweatpants, nobody, nobody, nobody. That's right. Yeah. Your goal was to make the homeless feel better about themselves, and you accomplished it. Yeah. Everyone stayed away, so yeah. When you wear stuff like that, people are less likely to ask you for money and stuff. I did notice that whenever I asked you to pony up your $5, it was like pulling it out of the jaws of life.That's my new wallet that I also got for New Orleans. It's not my typical wallet I typically use. I got a new wallet. You get a new wallet, but you don't get new sweatpants? Is this what the deal is? I thought it'd be a funny ongoing joke if I kept wearing the same nasty sweatpants every time we met. We haven't seen each other for two years. I know. That's how long I've had them for at least that. At least wash them in between. Come on. I know. It was like some cancer patient. My niece knew, and she got me these cancer pants. Cancer pants? No, he was. Some dude. I hope he didn't have testicular cancer. I don't remember if he made it or not, but yeah, she ended up getting some of his clothes. Judging from the look of those pants, probably not. Probably not.They're comfortable. I think he passed on while wearing those pants. Yeah. It was nasty. Nasty, nasty. It was like MC Hammer pants, but they weren't supposed to be that loose. If he had to hold them up while he was dancing, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How much did you spend? Did you put $5 in as well? Or how much did you put in? I got $10 worth of quarters before you arrived. Yeah. And we spent it all. Oh, I didn't think we did. Yeah, we spent it all. Yeah, I think I played a couple of things before you got there, a couple of games of pinball. And then I walked outside. And then you just kept reaching in my pocket. Yep. Daddy. Elephant with peanuts or something. I am sad that I did lose at air hockey. Very sad. Yeah,...

Miles' chances fate at the neighborhood Walmart, while Bob continues a journey of firsts in his life.

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Hey, my workstation. This is Bob. Oh, you started recording that. You jerk. Frickin' jerk, man, for recording that, man. That's some bullshit, man. Oh, my gosh. That is some bullshit. That's some bullshit. That's some bullshit. All right, let's edit that out, man. I want people to know. Editor. We'll fix that in post. We'll fix it in post. Yeah, thanks. Fix it in post. I'm on top again. Yeah? Yeah. Well, I know you have some ego problems, so. Well, no. I have some problems. Oh, my God. You were like on one tonight. You were on a tear. I got one less problem without you. Mm-hmm. You know that? Yeah, you're trouble tonight. Walmart for Christ's sake. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you'd already went. I already went. Yeah. Every time you go Walmart, when you're in one of these snits, you get yourself in trouble. I know. I just went there to get a story. I'm like, man, I need something like weirdos to do some weird stuff. If I walk around the store long enough, my, uh, uh,my sweatpants who don't have a drawstring will fall down and that'll be a funny story. You know, that is not too far from the truth, actually. That's the funny part. The soiled shirt I've been wearing all week. You know, say something about it. I would hope that wouldn't happen tonight because I'm wearing like these old Chicago bear, like boxer underwears and they're full of holes. I refuse to throw it away. And my wife is like, please, please throw those away. And I go, no, I will not until they win the Superbowl again. I will not throw these away. This is like the flag. You don't throw it away. You burn it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, these are like the nastiest, holiest things, you know. I mean, if I leave my drawers, people are going to see like a lot of stuff dangling and stuff because it's just the way it is. Because I got pendulous butt cheeks.i don't even know what that means my nickname in high school was clackers yeah Oh, nice. They call me metronome. Oh, there was a kid in high school that had a lot of back acne and they used to call him pizza ass. How did you get through that? It wasn't me. It wasn't me, dude. All right. Yeah, unfortunately, he had a hearing problem. He kept saying, boy, everybody says I'm a piece of ass. Which is weird, the boys' locker room. Yeah, you're right. Well, hey, you take it where you can get it. Yeah, I try not to spend a lot of time in the boys' locker room. Even as an adult. I hope you don't spend time. Coach Tidal, what are you doing staring at us? You're a weirdo, man. You've got some weird stuff going on. I'm doing jock check, son. Just a jock check. It's a swimming class. Oh. Always be prepared. Safety first.You never know when an errant kick gets you right in the jimmies, you know? Although, I know I've told you this before, but my dad went to Chicago school and they said they had to swim naked all the time. Right. We're playing shirts and skins and water polo, kids. That's weird, man. If they would have said, okay, you're all going to swim naked, I'd be like, I'm taking the zero right now. I'm taking the zero. It was normal back then. I mean, people just ran around naked. No, come on. That's weird, man. No, it was all part of the culture. Okay. Hey, you swim naked? Yeah, I swim naked. You swim naked? Yeah, I swim naked. I swim naked. Hell, we went to class naked. It's all naked. That guy. We called the nudie school. I said, you go to nudie school? Yeah, I went to nudie school. I don't think my dad went to nudie school, jerk. You freaking jerk. I'm pretty sure he did. Nah, come on. My dad went to Waller High School. Screw you, man.Hey, he's a baller from Waller, the nudie school. Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. Well, you remember last week, I told you there was two things last week that happened that I've never, ever encountered before. Do you recall this at all? Let me think. Okay, so last week. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, man. Don't be like that, man. Come on, now. No, you went to like water aerobics with your wife and a bunch of old people and the old people were like better than you. And then you were like, like you were feeling bad because you wore like your shirt in the pool. Cause you didn't want. No, I didn't. You were the one who was accusing me of wearing this shirt in the pool. I didn't wear my shirt in the pool. I bet you wore the shirt in the pool. Cause you're like, I don't want these old people to see my. I didn't. I think you did. Well, you can think that, but it's not true. You probably have on your Judas priest.t-shirt or something. It's just like your dad went to nudie school. My dad didn't go to nudie school. Screw you, man. My dad didn't go to no nudie school. Screw you. Frickin' jerk. So the other thing that happened last week, first for me, well, there was actually more than one, there was actually more than two, but the second thing led to another first. So I don't necessarily count it. So you were the first time I've ever taken a laxative. I never in my life had taken a laxative for any reason. You're changing the whole dynamic of the show. You know this. I mean, you're swimming with old people last week. This week, you're taking laxatives. Well, the reason is I got conned into getting a colonoscopy. Oh, you've never had one. I've never had one. I had to take a laxative.How did you wait? How did this happen? Cause I've always like, you should get your prostate, you know, and stuff. I didn't do the prostate. I just got your phone looked at. Yeah. How'd that go? I'll tell you. Okay. Wait, I got video. Hold on a second. I will. I'm I I'm off the show, man. If this pulls that up, I'm not watching it. As you see, this is where we're entering. Yeah. Pizza ass. Yeah. Uh-oh. Yeah. So, no, I had, like, months ago, I had to go to the doctor for, like, an ear infection. Right. And, you know, they have you at their mercy because I needed an antibiotic. And nowadays, they hold on to those things like, you know, They're life-saving, you know what I'm saying? So I was like, no, you can't. You have to come in. Oh, wait a minute. We got to look at it. You said ear? We thought you said rear. We thought you had a rear infection. And so I had to go in, and then I got the nth degree from the nurse practitioner. Wow, yeah.And so I ended up – it was like I went to the garage and they're like, well, you know, Bob, you could use four new tires, oil change, and transmission. And I'm like – and they're like, you know, you got to do it all. I'm like, what? I've lived my whole life not doing anything. Why all of a sudden do I have to – Do you really want to die now? You know, children fatherless at this stage in their life. Yeah. It gave me the nth degree. So that's called a Polish brain surgery. So I gave in, I said, sure. Okay. I guess it's been, I guess it's been, you know, I turned into Christopher Lalkin. Sure. Okay. I guess it's been long enough.And, um, so they're like, okay, here you call this place and you go, you know, get yourself set up for a colonoscopy you're gonna come back in a couple weeks we're gonna draw blood right you know we're gonna do all this stuff in the meantime, quit eating like a fucking 10 year old and walk around every once in a while. Those were my instructions. You didn't whip out your step counter that you're always bragging about? I did talk about that. Oh, I bet you did. Yeah, bullshit. Yeah. She just said bullshit to me. Yeah, you are a bullshitter. And then the other thing was she's like, what did you have for lunch yesterday? I go, well, leftover pizza. She's like, you think that was a good choice? I'm like,Well, yeah, because we had leftover pizza. Yeah, there was a lot of it. It was leftover. Casey's Pizza? Yeah, me. That wasn't Casey's. So I really got kind of the verbal pummeling when I went to the doctor. So I said, okay, this is just like the other thing. I'm like, okay, I'll do it. Sign me up. Mm-hmm. So they're like, no, you've got to sign yourself up. This is the worst part. They don't even do it for you. They make you do it. You know what I mean? I mean, one thing if I just said, yeah, okay, you know, sign up. No. Okay, here's the number. You call them. You go through all the menus. You set. No. Oh, my God. My doctor's place, they check all that stuff out before you leave. Like, okay, you're going in Wednesday. No, no. I had to do it all on my own. So.So then I put it off for a couple of weeks. I finally go. And then the stupid colonoscopy guys like, well, I'm not just going to see, you know, we're just not going to do that. You got to come in. I'm like, fuck. Consultation. Consultation. 400 bucks. So I go in to the consultation and I get this nice young lady who comes in and asks me a bazillion questions about my health. And, and she's like, you know, You don't take any medication. I'm like, no, nothing, nothing. Yeah. And she's like, do you feel all right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, okay. All right. Well, it looks like we can, we can get you. And how about, you know, and then she starts scheduling me up or whatever. And I'm like, all right, whatever. I'll do it. Yeah. You know, you don't want to die.Everybody says that. You don't want to die. Ma'am, you don't even know me. Yeah. You don't even know me, ma'am. Don't want to die. I'm like, you know, I can't be honest in these meetings. Totally. I'm like, lady, for the last like 40 plus years, I shit at the same time every day. Wow. That's pretty regulated. I'm regular as fuck. I've never taken a laxative in my life. I've never been backed up. Right. Nothing. This is a machine right here. It's the pooping machine that I've got going on right here. Yeah. I swear to God, everybody's like, oh, there's so much red meat....