Static Radio

Bob gets caught in the act of relief, while Miles earns bonus points at the ER with his wife.

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Are you arranged now? I've got to check what condition my condition is in. What condition my condition is in. Ooh. Nah. Hey, everybody. You get nothing. Good day, sir. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. You stole fizzy lifting drink. It's in my cheeks. I just want to give a big thank you to Miles for cheering me up tonight. I was having a shit day, and then I get on with him, and he's doing stupid, goofy shit, and then I made fun of him, and I felt so much better. I ain't dressed in front of a camera for him. I wasn't going to mention that part. That was the negative aspect of things. He started to feel a lot better about himself when he's like, you know what, maybe I am not a loser after all. Yeah, I'm not such a loser. God damn. I will tell you, though, if you really want to force yourself to throw up, have Miles call you, FaceTime you,With his phone sitting on a table looking up at his naked body while a ceiling fan is spinning in the ceiling. It was my only fans. I was getting nauseous and then the fan made me dizzy. Oh, yeah. They do it in Apocalypse Valley. They're geniuses. If only I was in Vietnam and drunk on my ass. Quad cities. Yeah. Quad cities. I'm going to go up the Danang River. Bob keeps getting stronger and I keep getting weaker. Getting weaker. I'll go down to Mississippi. That's right. Go down to Mississippi. That gave me a mission. I'm heading down to New Orleans to get a beignet. Bob is working on his own accord. Oh, yeah. No one's going to claim us. We're off the map. This mission never exists, nor has it ever existed. So, I think you should start tonight because you sent me a doozy of a picture this week.You know what? I did. I sent you this picture because we were laughing because that's not even me. That's my wife's leg. Oh, my gosh. I didn't even notice. It's horribly bruised. She bruises very easily. What was funny was she had her foot tucked in under her leg, so her foot almost looks like a ball sack. I totally assumed that was your leg, to be honest. It looks like someone's had their ass cheeks whipped pretty well and like they're like on their stomach or something it's a weird it's a weird picture like ass cheeks to me but you're right that does look like a ball bag yeah it did i'm we're all laughing like god what the hell i'm looking at it right now but to be honest i thought that was your leg honestly no no no wow miles's leg i mean he always teases me for not having any hair but gosh yeah like it's suppleI didn't even realize it wasn't your leg. Well, there you go. Yeah. Cause it looks terrible. No, he's not. Okay. As he laughs maniacally. Well, we've almost filled up our punch card for the ER. Well, I think, I think they give you like a couple of free ones every year. Anyway. Yeah. It's not, you know, start of a year without the ER, you know, Mrs. Tidal, so good to see you. It's only the second week of January. We're like Elvis. We have our own room in there. What's going on? Did you push her off the patio or what the hell's going on? Luckily, I'm old and I was just kind of getting over that illness. I was dealing with that bad thing, cold or whatever. You were sick for about a month and a half.It seemed like it. And I actually had gone to bed before 10 o'clock that night. So I'm like, okay, all right. I can't sleep normally. Yeah. Well, I don't usually go to bed. I'm not old. You know, I don't go to bed that early. But anyway, so. You know, Netflix has got a lesbian channel. We're going to watch Wives, I guess, here. Okay. And so I'm asleep. And now all of a sudden. Oh, my gosh. I'm like, what? I'm like, all this crazy screaming. I'm like, what? And you're like, honey, I didn't even make it to REM yet, and you already brought the boyfriend in? Yeah, I know. I was getting a REM job. And no, I thought it was actually time to get up. I thought it was like 630 or something. I'm like, what? I look. It's like one o'clock. One o'clock in the morning.And then the screaming stopped, so I thought, well, maybe I'll just wait and see. Well, it was dark. I mean, I didn't want to get hurt. There's wild screaming in the house. You wake up, and then you're like, well, I mean, that could mean a lot of different things. I go, maybe if it quit, though, maybe it's not as bad as I thought. I think it's worth investigating. And I thought, what would Bob do? I thought, okay, I better get out of here. I better check this out. You know, God only knows he's cut off her finger again or whatever. She's in the dark. She's in the bathroom and she has decided she had to go to the bathroom. It's dark. She lost her footing and she fell and she tried to catch herself and she ended up fracturing, uh, her wrist. Oh my Lord.her wrist is even worse than her leg? Yes. Yes. But she bumped her leg too like she almost like fell into the into the uh tub yeah our tub is somewhat close to the, uh, we have a small bathroom so yeah well you didn't want to pay you wouldn't want to spend uh extra for the wide angle lens yeah i'm like yeah you know, I'll wait till bob gets here, and i'll get a nice camera. And I'm like, oh, shit. I'm like, are you okay? I was tired. I'm like, are you okay? I'm not okay. Don't you guys have a nightlight in there or anything? Well, no. No, we can't afford one now. We can't afford a nightlight. That trip for… to New Orleans clean me out, I'll be honest. Yeah, well, if you didn't go gambling and playing the slot machines all the time. Yeah. So I'm like, well, come on, I'm getting back in bed here. Come on, I'm going to shake it off. Come on. Shake it off. I think it's broken. You're so nice. Come on. I'm like, you know, I go, maybe we better go to the ER. No, no, I'll be tough. Don't worry. I go, I think you broke something. Let's go. All right. Oh, my gosh.well, you know, okay. And you go there and, uh, there's just about no one there. Like, well, this may be, this is good. You know, maybe the best time we've ever come here. Yeah. Yeah. Cause usually it's all everyone, you know, with the flu and shit, you know, little kids crying and old people that, you know, and, um, we actually have a whole thing like worked out. We've been there so many times. It's like, I know where to drop her off. She'll hobble in and then I'll go park and then I'll meet up with her. You don't even go get her the wheelchair or anything. She always, no, she refuses. She refuses. Every time I mentioned, no, no, no. I'm like, okay. So, uh, she goes in and I walk in and I, you know, like, sir, did you come in with that lady? I'm like, yes. Yeah.Did you come in with our star? Yeah. Yeah. She forgot her punch card. Could you go home and get it? I'm like, okay, hold on. Don't worry. I've got the app. Yeah. And so she's in the room, of course, or, you know, doing vitals and stuff like that. And, you know, of course I'm the keeper of the purse and the glasses and the drink and the, you know, whatever else. She broke her wrist and she still took her Stanley cup to the emergency room. Her Casey's cup. Jesus Christ. She's moving in. I know something's wrong because I can't pick up my 55 ounce cup. I can't go back to 16. I can't. Yeah, I got a bean bag and a lava lamp. I'm like, what the fuck is all this? Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Houseplant. Could you watch the fern? I'm like, Jesus. Talk nice to it. Not dirty. There's a cat in the bag, so watch out. I'm like, oh, my God. This is like two. Jesus Christ.My comfort snail. Yeah. All right. Yeah. No, we, we have this all sad. Cause we have like this whole thing. Like where's my, where's my, uh, you know, flight pillow. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, you know, like when people, you're not going to, you know, go into labor, they have the bag ready and they kind of get the whole, yeah. It's kind of like that at this point. I'm like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Bring that, bring that, bring it, you know, and, uh, I'll charge it. I've got a go bag for the ER. Yeah, bring the charger. Don't forget the phone charger. Like, yep, yep. And so she's getting taken care of, and, you know, doctor pops in. Really just excellent staff. Really nice people. Super nice. Like, hey, you know, you are 5.9% of my salary. Hey, I want to thank you, man, because I got a Q5, man. You know, if you stop coming here, there's going to be cuts. Yeah.I wouldn't want to slip on that stuff outside. You know what I'm saying? Can we make an appointment for, like, in another month and a half or something? Yeah, right. Yeah, well, the way it's going, yeah. So it's like, you know, well, you're going to have to have x-rays. You're going to have to wait for the x-ray person to show up. And I was like, okay. The x-ray person, yeah. I'll go, what's your name? What's your birthday? What's your name? You got like Gabby Hayes technician. All right. We'll be back. Go ahead. Smile. First boy, you can stay here. We'll be right back. Okay. You and the kitty cat there. We'll stay here. And I'm like, okay. And, uh, you know, she comes back after a while and, uh, you know, you, well, we got to wait for all the experts to read your,films and something oh yeah at this point, you know, very quiet in there. At this point, like, you kind of hear, like, some other family come in across the hall. And next thing, you know, you're sitting there also it's like, were you changing your clothes near a ceiling fan? Oh, no, no. That poor lady is, like, coughing and, like, blowing chunks at the same time oh jesus it would not stop. It would not stop chinese oh man oh god like she was full of spunk or something like oh yeah would not stop with this oh i i'm getting sick thinking about it. She would not quit with this puke i ate a bunch of cheese curds....

Jersey Devil

The Jersey Devil, a legendary cryptid from the Pine Barrens; Frank successfully completes a trivia quiz on the creature’s lore—including its origin as the 13th child of Mother Leeds—before sharing his personal theory that cryptids and UFOs are interdimensional beings slipping through "thin" spots in our reality. The duo concludes by discussing the limitations of human perception, suggesting that our brains may "photoshop" out strange phenomena that don't fit our standard three-dimensional understanding of the world.

The Overnightscape

https://youtube.com/live/FDUyZuOkit0

Transcript (AI transcription)

So Frank, how's New Jersey these days? Well, New Jersey is like Antarctica at this point. It's very frigid, a lot of ice and snow everywhere. Other than that, it's Jersey. There's nothing else like Jersey. It's one of the greatest places in the world and a very weird place as well. The garden state. Yes, absolutely. Welcome to Mondo Frico. How's everybody doing today? My guest is going to be Mr. Frank. Do we do Frank Edward Nora for your guest appearances as well? Yes. Frank Edward Nora. Yes. You all three of them. Okay. I wasn't sure. Frank Edward Nora. We're going to talk a little bit about the Jersey devil. Frank is a big proponent of the state of New Jersey, as you just heard at the intro. And so what if you had to say, what's your favorite thing about New Jersey?besides the Jersey devil, obviously, what would it be? Well, I mean, to people outside New Jersey, it has this horrible reputation and people think it's just this dirty smelling, like piece of crap place to live. But when you're here, you understand, first of all, it has pretty much everything. It's like, if you took the entire United States and sort of crushed it down into this tiny, tiny, tiny area, New Jersey is that. So we have weird, We have the mountain lands in the north with people who are hunters out west. Down south, we have these weird pine barrens, which we're going to talk about with these weird hillbilly-type people. We have cities. We have seashores. We have everything. And it is by far the most densely populated state in the United States. But beyond all that, so people that are here generally love New Jersey. Because you get to know all the roads and towns and areas.It's almost like driving through different dimensions. They're so distinct. Like I would take drives even down to where my parents used to live. And each of the different ways I could go had such a different feeling. And I don't think I've ever seen that in other places. But beyond all that, there is just this weird sense of strangeness and greatness that is very hard to pin down and put into words that exists here in New Jersey. And everyone knows about it. You know, there's that magazine Weird New Jersey that very much touches on all of that stuff. But it is something of a magical place. And the fact that everyone looks down on us just makes us more, you know, makes us love New Jersey all the more. In fact, there's the New Jersey Hall of Fame opened recently in the American Dream Mall. And they have a whole movie about that aspect. It's about New Jersey overall, but about how people in New Jersey, you know, take that as a mark of pride. And of course,As we're going to talk about, we have the best state monster of any state. We have the Jersey duck. The best state monster, of course. And it's certainly a different monster, I would say. Definitely. Well, if folks don't know, Frank has a show called The Overnightscape that's been going on now for 24 years. I couldn't remember. It was like 23 years. 23 years. 23 years. Okay. Yeah. And you can catch it at the overnight. I misspelled night there. Dang it. Overnightscape. I forgot the T. Yeah. Theovernightscape.com. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. That's more like it. That's it. Theovernightscape.com. And so you can, I've been listening to Frank for 23 years now. Yeah. Pretty much. I think I caught you really early on. So.Well, you were doing the, what was it called before that? You were doing a different show. Well, you were kind of doing a bunch of different things prior to the Overnightscape emerging. And I remember I listened to that stuff and contacted you way back when. What was it called? Bluffcosm.com. Yes, Bluffcosm.com was my first internet radio website. And then when podcasting started, I actually took your XML feed to make my XML feed. We both started real. We were some of the first podcasters, you and I. I know. Isn't that crazy to think about? I'm like, it's been, yeah. So we just entered our 27th year of doing the show, the Static Radio. And then I'm doing this thing here. It's goofiness here, Mondo Frico. That actually appears on Static Radio as well. But yeah, so it's been a long time going.going here? It's amazing. I'm trying to decide, you know uh if it's i like to think of it as something that's been really, really good and positive. But then i also think about oh gosh i've been doing this for 27 years. Is there something wrong with me you know you gotta ask yourself these things. I don't know. I ask myself that all the time, what, what is going on with this stuff? But, uh, you know, I have faith in the people of the future that they will discover our works and enjoy them on into the far future. Yes. Yeah. Let's just do that. Let's go with that. I mean, it's been an interesting ride and, and you and I've actually did a thing on another project called prior caster. We talk about all that stuff. So, but here on Mondo, you know, we talk about weird things and I think, uh, let's just go into the quiz, shall we? Yes.Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. All right. So we're going to go into the quiz on the Jersey Devil. I'm going to ask you five questions. They should get harder as we go along. So the earlier ones will be easier. The later ones should be harder. And it's multiple choice. So don't, you know, you wait for your choices in case. All right. First question. Where is the legendary home of the Jersey Devil? Is it A, the Pine Barrens, B, a slightly damp corner of the Newark Airport baggage claim, C, the Appalachian Mountains, or D, the Great Dismal Swamp? That would be A, the Pine Barrens. All right. You got it right. This is an easy one. You also mentioned the Pine Barrens already. Yes, already, yes.So as we move along here and get a little tougher, what is the most commonly cited number of children that Mother Leeds had before the birth of the devil, the Jersey Devil? Would it be A, 8, B, 10, C, 12, or D, 47, but 45 of them were just very enthusiastic squirrels? That would be C, 12. Oh, my gosh. It was the 13th child. Yes. It was the devil. Yes. All right. Two for two. Frank is killing it. All right. So let's move on here. Number three. The period of most intense sightings that brought the creature national and international attention occurred over a single week in what specific month and year? February 2012 when he lost his car keys near a Wawa. July 1890, January 1909, or December 1855? I'm going to have to guess the 1855. Going with D, 1855? Yeah.It was January 1909. You were very close. Okay. Very, very close, right? I mean, they're all old. I mean, the Wawa one was obviously out of the… It was not anywhere near it. So, okay, well, you're two for one now. Still going to win it, I think. So, in 1909, one of the most famous reported encounters involved a postmaster and his wife. In what specific town were they claimed to have been trapped in their house while the creatures circled outside? Was it A, Trenton, B, Gloucester City, or if I said that correctly, C, Atlantic City, D, Freehold, or E, inside a hollowed out artisanal cheese wheel? I would have to say Gloucester City. Oh, Gloucester City. You want to change your answer or you think that's it? Final answer. All right. Gloucester City. So I actually came close to saying it correctly. So that was right. All right. So you gotThree for one. You're doing fantastic. You're going to win now. This is inevitable. You're in the Super Bowl. Can we say that? We're not saying it about monsters. It's a big game. Yeah, it's a big game. The historical non-supernatural Leeds family in New Jersey was significant. Which of the following is true about Daniel Leeds, who founded the family's presence in the state and whose almanac printing business was may be related to the legend. Was it A, he was a famous Quaker abolitionist who fled the state. B, he was a prominent early New Jersey Almanac printer who was in a political and religious feud with the Burlington Quaker establishment. C, he invented the Taylor Ham versus pork roll debate just to annoy people. Or D, he was an explorer who first mapped the Pine Barren regions. That's a mouthful there. I think the answer is B.B, he was a prominent early New Jersey almanac printer who was in a political and religious feud with the Burlington Quaker establishment. Yes, final answer. That's right. Wow. Four correct, only one wrong, which was a year, which I always think those are the hardest questions, to be honest with you. Don't you? Yeah, it can be tough getting that actual year. Yeah, nailing down a year is just too much, I think. Well, congratulations, you won that. So you really, you know your devil lore. Let's take a quick break and then we're gonna come back and I'm gonna read a little story and then we're gonna talk about it. Here we go. Mondofrico. Mondofrico. Mondofrico. Mondofrico, that's what you're listening to and watching right now. So here's a quick story about the Jersey Devil, just to give you some background in case you didn't know.The Jersey Devil is a legendary cryptid said to inhabit the remote pine barrens of southern New Jersey. The most popular version of its origin story dates back to 1735 and revolves around a woman known as Mother Leeds, often identified as Deborah Leeds. Having already given birth to 12 children, the distraught Mother Leeds supposedly cursed her 13th unborn child

Miles can't stand the people in the other booth, while Bob hears his wife say something he never expected.

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Butthole. What's my butthole? What's your butthole? Oh my gosh. What are you talking about? I mean my button. My button. Not the buttons. Not the… Oh my gosh. Hold on a sec. I did a… I did a restart of… My balls. Balls. of my computer, and now everything's messed up, so I have to reset everything. Yeah. Okay. All right. So you got to give me a second. Bobby's an old man. I said give me a moment. Hey, Bob, why did the sperm cross the road? Did you get to the other side? No, because Bob put on the wrong pair of socks again. What are you talking about? Okay, now it's working. It's working. Now it's working. Yeah, that's lame. No, I heard it. I thought it was fine.Oh. prepare to be triggered hey everyone this is miles prepare is that your uh new merchandise my prepare to be triggered shirt yeah that's our new 2026 phrase here on static so prepare to be triggered. Yeah, okay. I'll go with it sure i don't know I thought of it just now. Sorry, I did an update on this computer and it knocked everything out of whack, so I had to keep fixing everything tonight. Sounds weird. I'm sorry. Whatever. Oh, my goodness. Are you okay over there? Are you drinking something? What are you doing? I'm drinking the plastic particles in this bottle here. That's something I'm glad you mentioned that. Get it out. Come on, stuttering Sam. Get it out. Never have we heard of microplastics until now, right? Yeah.It's like microplastics didn't exist and then now they exist all of a sudden. Everything's got microplastics in it. Microplastic, microplastic, microplastic. It's like they've been there the whole time if they've been there. Yeah. Now everybody's like all microplastic. Oh, drinking a bottle of water has got microplastics in it. It's like kids being allergic to nuts. I never heard that. Never heard that. It's not an epidemic. I'm like, what the hell? I never witnessed a child dying from eating peanuts. I mean, I'm sorry if your child has that. I'm sorry, but I'm just saying I've never heard that as a kid. And I was like, geez. Yeah, I think we just invent these things to keep everybody in line, on edge. Although there were some kids that disappeared now that I think about it growing up. Anyway. Because you lived in Gacy's neighborhood.close to it. There are a lot of kids disappeared mm-hmm oh my good well anyway let's change the micro plastic thing kind of set me up because all right. Yeah. I'm sorry. what you see triggered triggered say so something happened this weekend that I thought I would never witness Oh, boy. That's so many. Wow. I don't even know how to begin. My wife, she's talking to me. She's like, hey, I heard about this new pizza place. We should go. I'm like, yeah, we should go. I love pizza. We talked about it for weeks, I think. I can't remember now, but Anyway, she's like, well, we're going to go on Saturday. I'm like, great. We'll go on Saturday. Fantastic. I love it. So we get there. Yeah, we get there, and it's kind of a sports bar slash pizza place slash everything kind of place. Nudie bar. Nudie bar. Yeah. It's got everything. Slot machines. Darts. Darts. Axe throwing.Oh, that'd be awesome. No, it didn't have all that. Anyway, so we get a seat and we're close to the bar, the regular bar there. They had seating kind of in another area, but it was like windows, right? And it's really cold here now. Oh, yeah. We didn't want to be by the windows. And so we're sitting there and these… guys show up and they're standing at the bar, which is not that far away, right? So it was like, we're right in the table area, but close to the bar. And I couldn't believe it, but somebody was at the bar cussing so much that it upset my wife. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is made up. This is a made up story. This is afake story. I can no it's not it's true i it's why i couldn't believe it. Your wife talks so dirty. So dirty. Yeah. And the funny thing was, I think the last time i saw her, I think she said, suck my dick. You know i mean she's like she's dirty very dirty so uh we're sitting there and she's, you know, these guys are fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck You know, it was like talking to Clark and Green Hat. What was his name? Neon Green Hat guy. Oh, O'Connor. Yeah. O'Connor. Yeah. O'Connor. Crazy guys. Yeah. And so there's constantly and my wife is like, you know, making these faces like, oh, my gosh, you know, I'm like, I'm like, what? You know, I'm like, this is likedinner table talk i'm hearing over here, right? Didn't your wife curse out a bunch of tourists over in france or something? Didn't she kind of like Yeah, we were in Switzerland. You dumb bastards. Get out of the way my way. Oh, you're right. We were at versailles and then we were also in Switzerland. I can't see the Matterhorn. God damn it. That's right. Your wife says god damn it a lot yeah yeah so yeah so i was like, really? You know? I couldn't believe it. I was laughing and she was getting aggravated with me because I was thinking, this is so out of the realm, right? I really wish we didn't sit so close to the bar. Those guys were being rude. I'm like, you didn't sound any different than you.You're right. Yeah, you're right. I think you have not witnessed this. I was going to call you a liar, but you might be right. But the whole time we were eating, it was funny. And then we're eating, and she keeps looking over at him and kind of giving him kind of a dirty look. And I'm like, what prude is this that I'm having dinner with, is what I was thinking. Is it all religious or something? No, not at all. She still curses like crazy. Yeah. but I guess it was bothering her because she goes, and so then when we're, we left and I'm like, you know, I can't believe you got so upset with these people cursing at the bar, you know, these are your people. Yeah. You're related to these people, obviously. And she's like, no, it wasn't just the cursing. They were so goddamn loud. They're just fucking so loud. Yeah.Wait, was it the cursing or the volume then? It was the volume. Oh, okay. So everyone could hear F this, F you. It's like there were kids there. I wouldn't cuss in front of all those children. Oh, come on. It was so goddamn loud. I couldn't. I'm like, oh, okay. I was misinterpreting. I thought it was just the cursing. She's like, a little bit. i call bullshit. I call bullshit on this one. Like they were yelling, they're drunk and yelling. And she's like, and what fucking pisses me off even more as they left when we did, I wish i would have fucking left a half an hour before. Oh God. Nice. Yeah. I was like, anyway, I was just like wow really well we haven't uh we haven't had that experience in a while. Yeah. Right. honeyEver, as a matter of fact. Would you get all Karen'd up for there for a minute? I didn't know what was going on. See, triggered. Triggered. See, I called it. The Nostradamus called it. Are your teams still in the running for the Super Bowl? Oh, I mean, I'm sad that my team lost, but by the way, changing gears here, yes, the two top teams are still in it. Yeah. seahawks is one, right? Yeah, and Broncos. I said those two would go oh yeah i think i said the uh denver wins i think i had to look it up. I don't know i think so. So, in that in that sense i'm kind of glad i lost, but in a way, I'm sad, too. Yeah, I know. I just found out that the bears lost at dinner tonight because we were talking about it so oh okay yeah i didn't know. I had no idea. I was informed.I was actually asking about the pizza deals. I'm like, when is this Super Bowl happening? Because there's all these good pizza deals that maybe I can get on. We better get a fucking good pizza deal. That's all I can fucking think. But to finish up real quick, the guys annoyed her and then the pizza wasn't that great. So she heard it was really good and then it turned out to be just, it was okay. It wasn't great. Hey, welcome to Five Fucking Guys Pizza. Exactly. So she was a little disappointed with the food as well. I thought it was fine. She's like, yeah, but it wasn't. She's like, I hate going out to eat when it's just fine. I want to go out to eat and get something great. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I go, well, sorry, hon. Most poopy pants. Most poopy pants. Well, we have certain places that we go, Miles, that are very consistent and very good.Yes, your Russian tea room that you love where you check out the male waiters. Yes, you like going there. Didn't you have a story once you went somewhere like, I was admiring the pretty waiter we had. I'm sure that I said that at some point. Yes. I don't think we go there that often. Wasn't it some Russian place or some weird ethnic thing or something? Could have been. i don't recall off top of my head. The Serbian restaurant you love going to or something? I don't know serbs love the Serbs. You love this sir you love everybody. You don't care. I know. That's true. You're cursing people. You love them i well i wasn't i wasn't overly thrilled by it either, but i didn't, you know, I'm like, whatever. Yeah. If you're gonna go to a pizza bar, what are you gonna get you know yeahguess. So I'm triggered. Triggered. What's going on with you? Boy, now you say that, I was just remembering back something that just happened to me. Do I go with the restaurant story? Is this going to be about the male waiters? Yeah. Apparently, yeah. No, I don't know. He had the biggest bulge and his pants were so tight I'm going to give you a gentleman's choice here. We're going to go with either bald eagle day slash eating at a restaurant or yet another story about my wife. Well, let's go with the bald eagle. Let's leave your wife alone for a week. Yeah,...

This Week

In this episode of LeMent Tonight, host Bob welcomes Leanne Linsky, the founder and CEO of Plauzzable.com, a virtual comedy platform designed to provide comedians with a global stage and a simplified infrastructure for their business. During the interview, Linsky shares her background in comedy and her extensive history of volunteerism, which includes hosting TV shows for children at Kravis Children's Hospital and running improv workshops for various non-profits. She reflects on the "good comedy karma" that comes from giving back and explains how Plauzzable aims to foster community and help independent creators succeed.

The conversation also highlights a major upcoming update for Plausible, featuring a redesign that incorporates an event directory for both online and in-person comedy shows, improved comedian profiles, and a more equitable revenue model. To keep things light, Bob and Leanne play a trivia game called "Most Plausible," where Leanne successfully identifies clues about the late Richard Lewis. They wrap up with a round of "Ask Not," where Leanne offers hilariously disastrous dinner party advice involving costume-clad bosses, finger foods without utensils, and second-hand party favors.

Plauzzable.com

https://youtube.com/live/iGpnBXE8FBQ

Bad AI Transcript

Hey, everybody, it's LeMent Tonight. My guest tonight is Leanne Linsky. Leanne, how are you doing tonight? Hey, I am great. Thanks so much for having me on. I love that chair. Possibly because I have one just like it. Really? I got this chair to look younger. Oh, really? Yeah, it's a gamer chair. I'm trying to look younger. I have that exact same chair with the headrest. Actually, before we started recording here, I was sitting back. I leaned back. and was swiveling around and made a really weird noise, and I thought, uh-oh, I'm going to have to go find another chair. But I just bumped into some instructions for a printer that I had sitting out over here. So, but Leanne Linsky, the, what do you call yourself, CEO, Chieftain, Grand Poobah of Plausible? Yes, the one and only. That would be me. That would be, well, and you're here tonight, and so,Why don't you tell us, give us a little jokesters, a few jokes, these jokes here, and then we'll talk some more. How's that? Sure. Well, yeah, I mean, I will tell you. So, hey, everybody. People often ask, like, where am I from? All that. I'm originally from Waukegan, Illinois, and then I lived in Vegas for 16 years. And normally when I tell people that, they're like, oh, my were you doing in Vegas? I'm like, oh my God, what do you mean? Besides all the drinking, gambling and prostituting myself. Okay. So I didn't drink that much. And then I lived in New York for almost nine years. And when people hear that, they're like, oh my God, Leanne, what'd you do in New York? So I just ignore them and keep walking. Then I moved to Long Beach, California and no one gave a crap. SoHere I am now in Seattle. Yes, crickets. Exactly. I'm in Seattle, Washington now. Living life online. Yep. Because we moved here right at the end of the pandemic and things still weren't opened up. So I don't leave my house. And now when I do, I have to say it's fun, but it's also awkward because I keep forgetting to unmute myself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't want to dazzle you with the rest of my brilliance quite this early in the show. That wasn't a joke. That was just truth, everybody. Just truth. All right, Leanne, thank you very much. I was using the patented plausible reactions here. I appreciate that. I was also enjoying the swivel. Oh, yeah. I was trying out the swiveled a little bit. Yeah.It's good. It works. Yeah. So what's been happening in your world? Apparently you don't leave the house. So I'm hoping that it's not all just DoorDash and streaming services, but maybe it is. No, we do go to the grocery store regularly. We do. We do doctor's appointments, grocery store. I don't want to tell you the highlight of my week, but it's going to the grocery store. It is. It is navigating the parking lot at Trader Joe's. I also do volunteer service. So I volunteer for a couple of organizations locally. Oh, really? Like, what do you do for that? What are you doing? Like cleaning people's beards or what are you doing? Beards? No, I gave that up a while back. I actually volunteer at two thrift stores. One supports American Cancer Society and the other one supports a senior center. So.Yeah, and I volunteer once a week at each of those places and put new merchandise out and do the window displays and things like that. It's a blast. I love it. I had a terrible thought when you said that. I can't help but mention it. Maybe one of the services, like help people with dementia, basically just take stuff out of their closet and have them come in and pick it up at the store and then we take it back out of the closet. which is hilarious because that's just what I do. It's horrible. It's a horrible thought. You're basically just getting them out of their, you know, apartment or whatever. Yeah. It's like a cyclical thing. Oh, it is. You're so nice. I mean, you do, well, I would never do volunteer work. I'm not a volunteer. Well, yeah, maybe no. So when I lived in New York, I got into doing a lot of volunteer service because in New York, um,I volunteered at Kravis Children's Hospital at Mount Sinai. And they had a TV studio in the hospital, in the children's hospital. And it was run by a nonprofit. And I would go in there and host TV shows for all the children in the children's hospital. And they could watch up in their rooms. And we'd run game shows. And the kids could call in from their room phones. And then we'd do trivia games and all kinds of things where they could participate. by calling in and then after the shows were over, I'd go to the prize closet and I'd pick out prizes and go walk up there and say hello to everybody who participated during the half hour show. So that was really cool. And I also volunteered for an improv, a nonprofit that offered improv workshops and shows to other nonprofit organizations in New York area. So like Big Brothers Big Sisters,Or hospice, Ronald McDonald home, Ronald McDonald house, different hospitals, senior centers, you name it. If they needed people to come in and cheer people up and brighten things up, we would go in and do a workshop or show on a regular basis. Yeah, it was amazing. It was amazing. Yeah. That's interesting. So how many other TV shows were there on this thing? Oh, so those two are separate. So the one- Oh, those two are separate. Yeah, so the one we did improv classes and shows for, and that was all in person where we would go and do these things at the hospital or at the hospice or at Ronald McDonald House or different venues where they would need us. And then the Kravis Children's Hospital, that was separate. I actually met them because the improv group, we would do a TV show like once a month there, I think it was.And maybe weekly. I can't remember now. And then I got to know the producer and I was like, I'd like to do more of this if possible. And so I would go in a couple of times a week, sometimes three times a week and do, do shows, but they would do shows every day. Oh, really? Several times throughout the day for the kids. Yeah. Yeah. It was really cool. It was also very sad because not all kids were there short term. Some were there very long term and were, were, chronically ill or terminally ill, but it was, it was one of the really, it was a wonderful service that they offered so that kids didn't feel so isolated and alone. How'd you get to be so nice doing all this? I mean, most, most comics are cynical and, you know, hate the world. And I know, well, you're right. This is true. Right. And,I would say that I am that person a lot of time. Like I can be that person if I want to, but since what I really started realizing is like in comedy, especially when we're starting out and, and I, we probably do more of it when we're starting out, but I think that no matter where we are in our comedy journey, we're always, we're always doing something for free or for a cause or for, ourselves like working out jokes we go to open mics we're not paid to do that that's just part of the process and yet there might be audiences at these open mics or you know you might get a spot in a show that just so you can go warm up to do another show those kind of things and you're not paid for it people do it all the time celebrities do it right so but i think with comedy they were just bored right maybe uh maybe uh but i think there's there's an element ofIt's a gift because I get to do what I love, but I get to share it with other people who enjoy it or maybe not. But it depends on the set, you know, or the night. But but yeah, I think it's enjoyable or torture. Yeah, I think it's good comedy karma. But I don't you know, just why not? Why not share it with people who can't get to a good. That's a good thought. I mean, that's very positive thinking there. Yeah. And I mean, that's part of what I do with plausible, right? Is give back to the community. I mean, why not? I want other people to succeed. How can we bring more people in and give people a place and a stage? And that's a lot with plausible is if I'm having this problem, maybe other people are having this problem too. How can we bridge that gap? How can we help others as we help ourselves? Wow. Listen to all this.Right? Who knew? I'm thinking you should open up the phones for donations. Yes, please do. Operators are standing by. Right. And even Jerry Lewis is going to pop up. That's right. Let's go look at the top board. Good to Brian in his sound-canceling headphones. Yeah, that's right. Is he watching kickboxing? No. He's watching the phones ring off the phone right now. That's what he's supposed to be doing. That's so nice. And we've talked about this before, but I'm going to feign that I don't know....

Bob gets tough at the package return while Miles gets taught a lesson at the self-checkout.

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oh it's on it's on like donkey kong what the hell was that? I was trying to bring the the energy the you know the okay i was trying to bring the, you know, excitement into the show. Bring the noise. You know, I never in my life heard anybody say it's on like donkey kong whenever donkey kong was popular no Yeah, never ever. Did you ever hear that? Nah, we didn't have that. Yeah, I remember playing Donkey Kong when it was, you know, new. No one said it's on like Donkey Kong. We had just shadow puppetry. We were not very rich. Oh, you talk about you had a richer existence than I did back then. Yeah. So I remember when… When Pac-Man came out, at least in Decatur, when it got there, it took a while. And when Donkey Kong was there, because they were very popular. Yeah? At the replay video game place at the mall. Yeah, we didn't have none like that. Oh, replay. I'd go to littleplace called little italian and play some games. No, really? That was the only one italian or was it just yeah i know it's a pizza place? The pizza hut had like the tabletop guys, which is always fun sure always okay always fun always Yeah. Well, somebody listened to the Polish Nostradamus this week because they sent us a picture of themselves in an eggplant suit. Yeah, I saw that sexy picture. Wow. It was an AI thing, but that's fine. I'm not gay. Wow. Look at that man. Yeah, look at that man. Look at me now. michael just up as an eggplant in some kind of production and uh yeah i've won apparently so there we go. No, because that was faked. No, no, it doesn't come no way i would say the way michael please do not encourage him please no there's no production all right i don't know what he's up to yeah yeah it was very creative. I thought it was funny yeah that's funnyIt was funny. Yeah. I give him an A. A for funny. I give him an A for effort. I give him a big gong on that one. I give him an A for alpha. So, yeah. Polish Nostradamus last week, if you missed it, you can hear the 13 predictions that he made. And so far, they've held. I said Seahawks versus Broncos coming up. So, yeah. Are they? Both of them? Yeah. They're still in it. Maybe we'll check back in on that. Each week. Each week until it falls apart. I'm going to get it right one of these years. I'm going to call it. I think I looked it up. 2011. It's already been 25. That was the 25th year. Wow. was only the 15th. Oh, gosh. Only the 15th year. What's happened to my life? Oh, my God. Yeah, that's right. What are you doing with yourself? Yeah, well, I know that, but I mean, what am I? Okay. So tonight we agreed to talk about your, you're going to tell us all about your sexual fantasies. I think that was what we agreed upon. It's all part of myNo, that's not what we're going to talk about. We're telling stories I had a really nice, I know you don't do this and I don't mention it every time, but I had a really nice conversation with Alo. This woman in Nigeria has a show and I was on there talking and I talked about you. Yes. And I talked about whatever questions she asked me, but very nice. Very nice. Yeah. I don't think I've ever talked to anyone from Nigeria. So you have one. Yeah. Huh? I don't think so. I actually met it. That was online, but I've met in person several, I think Nigerians. Yeah. Uh, I met a gentleman from Sudan. Very nice gentleman. And his friends who hustled me in pool, which is not anything bad. I'm just saying hustler. You say, I just, it's not anything bad. I'm just saying, yes, they caught me. Yes. They caught me. Yes. No. And I got a, a guy, a friend at work who is, uh, I can't remember where he's from now. Dang. I'll have to ask him again, but anyway, he's like some, you know, distant royalty.Africa. Oh, no kidding. Yeah. I actually, we work at the same place. He made me put $10,000 in his bank account. He tried to reclaim the throne. Look, this money's got my picture on it. That's how royal I am. No, no, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He was telling me about it. Yeah, I got a title. Uh, when i go home, I have a title and he's like, I never, i'd never go home. So. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, well, that must be a letdown coming over here. Yeah. All right. He's like, no, not really. It's better here. my name's Herb. How are you doing yeah but uh no i just that was something that was interesting that happened recently. Yeah. But I wanted to tell you about, I've found a new sportSo, you know, there's these at some point, you know, points in time they would call them like yuppie activities or, you know, what do you call it? Like soccer moms activities and things like that. I found a new one. I think it's called drinking, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. The wine thing. Yeah. No, I don't know. Right. Right. I found a new one, and you're not going to believe it. Bring it. Maybe you will. Bring it on. What do you got? Now, I have been roped into this kind of new trend. Okay. And it's like a cyclical thing, and around here is rampant. And I'm onto it, and I don't like it. It's like pickleball, or what is this? Well, actually… pickleball is huge around here, but that's not it. Although I may play pickleball this summer. Who knows? I'd love to see that. I would love to see that. I win all my matches by default. So no, it's, it's,The purchasing of things on Amazon and returning them. So the deal is you go on Amazon, you purchase something. Right. It ships. It gets to your house. Right. You take a look at it. You're like, oh, that's not what I want. I'm returning it. Yeah. And you take it to the UPS store and return it for free. And you order something else and it comes and then you take it back. Literally, I swear to God. I have to go to UPS store at least twice a week. Oh, Jesus Christ. But the thing is, it's normal. It's not out of the norm. There are so many people doing the same thing. They purchase something on Amazon. They go to your house. They're like, that's not what I want. Holy cow.So the whole thing's jammed up now? The whole lobby's all… Yes. Oh, my gosh. So I had to get… I was telling you off the recording here about how everybody's an asshole or whatever. So I go to the UPS store. So a lot of times I don't have to go in, thank God. My wife will run it in because I didn't buy it. But anyway, I'm not going to get that argument here. But, um, and so then she'll, I'll park and then she'll go in and then, you know, we'll go on and do other errands or what have you go to the store. This guy, his, uh, his old bat of a wife, what took something back and apparently needed to pay for it. And she didn't have any money. So she came outside to get money from him and he pulls up behind me and she goes back in. Right. And I mean, you,There's so many people going in and out of this place. It's like they're giving away something for free. Wait, let me go. It's not the post office. It's the UPS store. No, it's the UPS store. Okay, I'm sorry. It's the UPS store. Okay, cool. Yeah, post office is bad enough. Yeah, right. Yeah, don't fuck that up. To be honest with you, the UPS store is worse. Yeah, right. With traffic, I mean. And so then the guy just sits behind me. And I'm like, oh, my God. This guy better move, right? So the issue is not so much that he's sitting behind me. It's that when my wife comes out and gets in the car and we can't back up. Oh, he's got you pinned in. Yeah, totally pinned in. Oh, great. And so when the wife shows up, then it's going to be.Tell the pay, right? Your wife ain't going to be having it, man. I know your wife. She's not having none of that. She's about it, man. I'm like, oh, and then I'm going to have to do something. Right. Because, yeah, that's how it works. Oh, man. Yeah. Those old guys got me pinned in. He's sitting there, sitting there, sitting there. His old wife goes in with like a wad of cash to pay for something. I don't know what that was just being for. Right. And my wife comes out, and I'm like, please move. Please move. No. Doesn't move. Oh, shit. I had to get out. Excuse me, sir. Could you please move your Monte Carlo? No, no. This is where the, you know, I told you I'm getting cranky or whatever. He can't see. He's looking for his wife. Right. His ass end is blocking me, so I cannot go anywhere.Right. He's got like a suv or some big long SUV. Yeah. And so he can't see me in the driver's seat because he's on the far side, right? Right. It's totally boogered up. He's like in the wrong lane, on the wrong side, doing everything wrong. Oh, geez. So I had to step out and then i give him the old, you know, hard point. I'm like, yeah you know, like move it or I'm breaking your window. You know what I mean? Right. And, uh, he, he skedaddled right out of there, but yeah. And the worst thing was I was, uh, yeah, we had been to the, uh, to the gym. And so we were coming from, the gym to drop this thing off, so i was all, like, disheveled. Wearing your shorts and your wet shirt you're all draggled and i'm like and man that guy took off. He's like, man, that broad is really angry, man. I better get going here. I was like i was really yeah i could i was like i hate that. I hate to do that.You're a tough guy, man. I didn't know that. Well, then I have to, you know, I'm like all, I'm like Sylvester Stallone telling the guy to get the hell out of there. And then I get in the car and I'm Woody Allen. Oh my gosh. I can't believe he was blacking us in. Oh, you know, and I have to go on and on about it for like 10 minutes. Your wife's probably like, what took you so long? Yeah, no. Well, I had a spot and so she knew I didn't move. So yeah, I didn't, She's just like, what was that guy doing? I go, oh, his old bad of a wife had to come get money....

Danny Johnson

Danny Johnson is a seasoned clean stand-up comedian with over 15 years of experience, known for his relatable material and performances at corporate events, clubs, and churches. His career took off with his successful Dry Bar Comedy special, The Chusky Life, and has continued to grow with his latest self-produced special on YouTube titled Everything Bothers Me. Originally from Long Island, New York, Danny developed his comedic voice within a large, loud family where humor was the key to getting attention. After a "decade of excellence" in college and a brief stint in corporate life, he fully committed to stand-up, eventually moving to Florida and working his way up through the comedy club circuit.

DannyJohnson.com

https://youtube.com/live/Ogsqjac2918

Bad AI Transcript

Hello, everybody, and welcome to a conversation with Danny Johnson. Go figure. Now, Danny, the Danny part sounds funny. The Johnson part, not so funny. Danny is a comedian, stand-up comedian. He is a clean stand-up. He likes to put that all over his webpage, just so you know. If he didn't have it on his webpage, there'd just be the F word, and everybody would know that he was a clean comedian, right? He does corporate events. clubs, churches, over 15 years. He had a dry bar comedy special called The Chesky Life, which I love that title. And you have a new thing coming out called, and I'm already blanking on it here. You can tell me, Danny. Everything bothers me. There you go. I knew I was going to get you to say it, and I would say it as well. Danny Johnson. You can go to his website. We'll just get this stuff out of the way. DannyJohnson.com.at Danny Johnson comedy. And we'll visit those throughout the talk here, but I like to put everything up front so people don't have to wait. Cause you know, they may get bored with this conversation. I really just want to know more about Danny. I don't really care to listen to this other guy. So we'll make sure everybody's happy. Right. Look at that. I like that plugs up front. So yeah, everybody. Yeah, exactly. We'll do that. I don't want to, you know, you make, everybody makes people wait, right? Like it's, Like they're doing them a favor when they're really not. Yeah. It's the worst to watch a video where… And then sometimes they don't get to the point ever and there's another part. Right. In part two, we'll finally tell you where to find these people. No, not for me. I'm done with you, buddy. Blocked. That's right. No more part twos. Right. So everything bothers me. I mean, this could be everybody's comedy special. Couldn't it be? Yeah. I think… And it's funny. The title of it was…created after we shot the special in Atlanta earlier this year. And it was really just a culmination of, I do actually mention that phrase in my special, but in just going through the material and the final cut, it was like, this was just a sort of a list of things that bother me that I was talking about. There you go. This is, your book's coming out called How to Write the Easiest Comedy Set. just things that bother you. Yeah. And so one of the producers was like, he goes, it seems like everything bothers you. And I go, that's a perfect name for. So let's, that's, that's what's happening now. Let's go back 15 years and say, you know, young Danny, younger Danny, in your case, probably what teenage Danny is, is,going to be a stand-up comedian. I mean, how did that all come about? As far back as I can remember, I've always been interested in comedy. I grew up in a really large family in Long Island, New York. And we're all loud. We're all poking fun at each other constantly. And if you want any attention whatsoever at any giant family function, then you better have some sort of talent or be funny. And I remember… I remember starting to do like imitations or impersonations of my relatives at family functions. And it was getting a laugh. And I realized how powerful that was. Even at a young age, I'm like, wow, I'm getting positive attention. Just making fun of my uncle or cousin or whoever, you know, just kind of impersonating them. And then I've stumbled in my teenage years across Saturday Night Live, which of course is not stand-up, but just fell in love with those characters. And that led, staying up late,on the weekend led me to staying up late during the week and watching, uh, the late night TV shows and, and, uh, catching standup, you know, uh, Robert Klein and Jerry Seinfeld and Carlin. And, um, they were just talking for five or six minutes into a microphone and getting laughs. And I was like, this is really appealing. Um, and it's baffling, you know, I didn't understand or necessarily crack up at a lot of the jokes, but, you know, I was younger, but, As I grew older, it led to my first stage performance at 18 at a small club in Long Island. And I only did well because we brought 63 of the 73 audience members to the show. So crowdsourcing was your friend basically at 18. You're like, hey, everybody. Yeah. If you want a false sense of hope, just stack the crowd with friends and family.That was Danny Johnson reads his Rolodex. I think that was your act back then. You're just, if you come, I will read your name on stage. Right. And then I finished up college in Long Island, my first two years of college. And I didn't do standups. And from the time I was 18, I didn't do standup until I finished my senior year of college. And by that time I'd moved to Florida and finished my college in Florida. And where I ended up residing in Florida wasn't, right down the road from one of the biggest comedy clubs or the biggest comedy club in Northeast Florida. And they had a workshop of like how to be an MC or a host of a show. And it was free. And the club was open Tuesday through Saturday. I joined that workshop, started, I guess, learning from some of the current hosts that were there and eventually became a regular. And two years later, I was, you know, working Tuesday through Saturday, a couple of times a month,sometimes at this club hosting shows. And then, you know, long, longer, long story, longer, um, other comedians that I worked for started to bring me on the road and open for them and bump me up to the middle act. And then, you know, once you get enough material, you can kind of pitch yourself to bookers as a feature actor, a headliner. So, uh, it was the, it was a really long journey to get to have, you know, start headlining venues and whatnot. but I'm glad, and this is, you know, I started pre-internet or pre-social media, I should say, maybe not pre-internet, but pre-social media popular, you know, being popular. So my website was huge. You know, that was a big deal to have a website. Like, wow, you have a URL? Which is why I have Danny Johnson. Yeah. There you go. Here it is. This is it today. Which is why I have the .com, DannyJohnson.com. It'sof rare to have a dot com and uh i've had people want to buy it, which is interesting. Really? How much you can offer for that? I've gotten upwards of upwards of four grand. Wow. But it's been, it's been a good decade since someone's tried to buy it. There's two, there's a semi-famous musician out of England. Um, and then there's, there's a few public speakers all with my name. So, um, like, uh, they're not comedians, but they are, well-known speakers. Well, I mean, with a name like Johnson. There's got to be several Dannys out there. It's funny you say that. I remember I had the hardest time getting with this one particular booker. And finally, I got a hold of them on the phone. And this is after years of emailing or just trying to get in with them. And I go, what? Did I do something? And they go, yeah, I booked you and you didn't show. And I said,I haven't worked for you ever. And they go, you're Danny Johnson out of whatever city they mentioned. I go, no, I'm in Northeast Florida. They're like, oh my gosh, there's another one of you. I was like, well, that's not me. Why didn't you at least meet with me and find out? So I ended up working for the Booker, but yeah, there was, there was like almost like a bizarro Danny Johnson. Now you just need to do the opposite and get more gigs based on this other Danny Johnson. Yeah, he needs to step up his career. Just answer. I had an email address where this person thought it was their email address, and they kept signing me up for everything. It was very aggravating. I mean, you could do the same thing for the other Danny Johnson. I do that too. I sign up people's email addresses for stuff.If they wrong me in life, they get on everything. That's your next special. Don't tell me your email. You'll get a bunch of crap. So you did this when you were younger. You went to college, which I'm assuming your mother said, finish your degree, please. Don't just run off and do comedy. What was your degree in? Business management. I went to two years at State University of New York at Farmingdale. And then I finished my bachelor's at University of South Florida in Tampa. And it took me so long. I jokingly refer to my college experience as the decade of excellence. That's very good. Yeah. So it did take you a whole decade or no? No, not… It probably took me… So two years for the Associates in New York and then probably…three years and a semester for my to finish. Okay. I remember my count because I was away from my parents for the first time. They were still in New York and I was in Florida having a time of my life at this giant college. And I remember finally at one point in my second senior year, the guidance counselor that I meet with each semester was like, look, you got to finish up. you're 47 years old. I don't know how old it was but i was it was like van Wilder. I don't know if you ever seen it. Yeah. Yeah. So I finished up just, she's like, she goes, you can major in like three different things. You've taken so much, so many classes. So you had to make a decision. You took enough, but not quite enough,...

Miles almost loses more than his fair share at the fruit machine while Bob tries to figure out the impossibilities of strong air currents.

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glad you could quench your thirst before we get started. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, everyone. Miles Tidal here with Static Radio Podcast 2026. Miles has got the suds, everybody. Yeah. I've got the suds. Oh, man. Just like SpongeBob, he's got the suds. I look like the last crap you just took, man. Holy shit. Well… Let's not. I mean, that'd be a lot of crap. I don't think that I can have that kind of output. Yeah. Well, it's a brand new year. Happy New Year, Miles. I'm sorry you're feeling bad, but you are soldiering on. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I'll be all right. Yeah. So anybody who wants to give us cards or send flowers, they can send them to Miles. Yeah, if I don't make it, just send them to Bob. No, I don't want them. Now, every new year since, I think, 2011, we've been doing this. Well, Miles has been doing it mostly. I just help facilitate. Yeah. The predictions for the year from the Polish Nostradamus.Some are funny, some are strange, some are wishful thinking, some are cryptic. I don't know. And then here lately, over the last maybe about 10 years, you've made a bet. So far, nobody's really had to pay out. Well, there was a time last year, I believe. What's that? You had to cough up some Chick-fil-A money for… I said Michael would be… Oh, you're right. Yeah, the Golden Girls. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, well, there you go. Close, but not quite close enough. That's why it was Chick-fil-A money instead of Twin Anchors money. Yeah. So you want me to run down last year's list before we go to this year's list? I'll give you a moment there to clear out your sinuses. It won't help. Go ahead. In no particular order, last year's predictions were, Miles always does a football prediction. Last year, he said the Kansas City Chiefs versus the Detroit Lions. Detroit would win. Neither of them were in the Super Bowl.Just so you know. Bob enters a contest to meet the Australian breakdancer and have a dance-off. He loses. I don't know if people remember the Australian breakdance lady from last year. Illinois passes a tax credit of $500 for pet ownership. Disaster results. Michael auditions for Ma on the stage show of Golden Girls, which there was kind of a close hit there. Pablo has a new show on Plausible called Pablo Tickle My Funny Bone, the panel show that did not come to pass, although Pablo is doing a live comedy out in California. Yeah. The Ding Dong Show or something, I think. Punch My Fart Box. Yeah. Smidge gets upstaged by Miles doing air guitar at one of his shows, and he's pissed. I don't think that ever came about. No, no.And then Miles always likes to talk about celebrity deaths, which many lately, I don't know who you're going to pick this year, but last year you picked Will Wheaton, Kathy Bates, and Simon Pegg. Thankfully, none of those people passed away. Many of the mailman turns out to be in the witness protection program and not actually a mailman. He's retired now, so he's not actually a mailman, but jury's still out on the witness protection program. Yeah. Bob refuses to give gas to Jenna Fisher when she runs out near his house. Jenna Fisher is from St. Louis. I actually was in close proximity to her sister at one point. Like in her underwear drawer? Jenna Fisher's sister. I can't go into the details. Those are court sealed. Okay.A Hawaiian game show called The Floor is Lava, which there is a game show called The Floor is Lava, but it's not a Hawaiian one. Trump outlaws planking but encourages parkour. That may have happened. I don't know. There's a lot of things happening right now. Yeah. Updated version of The Warriors with Danny Trejo, Ted McGinley, Antonio Fargus, and Joyce DeWitt. I don't think that ever got off the ground, but it should have. Yeah. A referee dies during a rope A robot woman's oil wrestling because of a short circuit. The referee was George Takei. Wow, that got dark. Yeah, that did not happen. And then we did settle up for the Golden Girls thing. Instead of 20 anchors, I gave you some Chick-fil-A money. Mine was…I refuse to give gas to Jenna Fisher. Miles was going to do all expense paid trip to the arcade of my choice. So yeah, that was last year's predictions. Uh, what, what have you got for us this year? No stro one. Are you going to be able to do this? I'm sorry. Miles is going to be dead by the time this doc holiday doc holiday. Uh, All right, let's just do it. Seahawks versus Denver Broncos. Broncos win. Seahawks versus Broncos. Broncos win. I'm typing these out, so Broncos win. Okay. I have no comment on that whatsoever. I never pick these right anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I would not bet on what Miles. Sports betting is legal in Missouri, but I would not bet on what his choices are.Yeah. Okay, that's one. I do 13 of these, by the way. You know, you've been swinging with a lot of older people. Yes. Which is very good. I'm glad you're getting healthy and living life. You've mentioned that you've been in the locker room with some nude dudes. Right, yes. There's going to be a mishap that stops you from going, and it's that you get hit in the face with a dong accidentally. Gets dong slapped in the locker room. I hope that doesn't come to pass. I don't know why. Even if they had an incredibly long dong, I don't think I'm that close to anybody. It doesn't have to be really long. Maybe the guy loses his balance. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.I love… I don't want these to happen. I love how you like to humiliate me in these predictions. Yeah, well, I'm not going to humiliate me. I mean, come on. All right, number three. Number three. I got to keep going here before I die here. Yeah, we got to get this done before you keel over. New… God, I can't even read tonight. I can't read my own writing. New Japanese game show called Beat the Goose. Beat the Goose. Mm-hmm. There might be something I already called that. Three middle-aged men go around a public area goosing like co-ed women. The one who gooses the most wins $200. They're dressed like geese. The other two that don't win, they are beaten with bamboo Buy the ladies that they've goosed. That's a lot there. To me, that's like some kind of fantasy of yours. I don't know where that came from. A lot of thought gone into that one. I've been sleeping a lot lately. There's a lot of sleeping nightmares in this. Yeah, I think that that was one of those ones where you woke up with a boner. And you're like, honey, it's a miracle.Yay, beat the goose. It's a miracle, a true little spectacle, a miracle come true. Get my goose uniform out of the closet, please. Honk, honk, honk, honk. All right, number four. Our friend, our mentioned before man in the mailman, takes a cruise and by some miracle is the only person on the boat who doesn't come down with explosive diarrhea. Yeah. And doesn't get… How do you spell diarrhea? D-I-A-R-R-A. Yeah. Miracle. Miracle. It's called the miracle on water. One, two, three, four. Okay. That's four. That's four. Number five. Five. You know, I like to do something political, you know, because everyone likes politics. The president announces he's building a landing pad for extraterrestrials. Oh, really? Yes. What is it called? Ah, what? It's called the Trump pad. Trump pad. Yeah, no, I didn't think that far ahead of that one. I'm sorry. Okay. Trump pad. We should get Siraj does the Indian Trump. He could do a thing about that. Or as I like to call him, which he hates, Siraj. Siraj, yeah. I know he hates that. Yeah.Trump announces a landing pad for E.T. Okay. Number six. You know, I just say, but a lot of the sub characters from Three's Company have died. I think Larry and Lana died. So not that I do not want this to happen, but let's keep going. Janet, Terry and Cindy. They're all going to die. So you think the remaining Three's Company stars, Janet, Terry, and Cindy will pass? Maybe while they're doing autographs or something? Well, I don't really put it out there how it's going to happen. I just say it's going to. Yeah. Have you seen them recently? I watched Joyce DeWitt, yeah. Yeah, poor Cindy. She got some bad some bad choice for Yeah, I know. I didn't want to be mean, but yeah. She had some bad something. Plastic surgery. She gotShe got some Bakelite surgery. Yeah. Thank you. Number seven. We have a guest. We have a fan CB. Yeah, so good old CB. And come to find out he has OCD. Really? Maybe that's the only reason he keeps listening. And he carries three dice in his pocket. Okay. And he says he'll get naked if he rolls all ones. Okay. Has it ever happened? I don't know. I didn't get that far into these. I just, you know, I wrote these down. Another one of your dreams where you woke up with a boner? I did, yeah. I'm like, hey, wouldn't that be funny if… It's the CB, I'm just saying, you know. That is an interesting… That's pretty specific, you know. Yeah, I know. Does he have other number combinations? If he rolls those, something happens? Box cars, I don't know. You see the brown starfish or something. I don't know. I just wonder if there's a chart we need to make. A chart. A chart. A Yachtsy chart. Yachtsy! Yachtsy! I didn't make it!It's Three Dice Yahtzee. We know a guy named Michael Gardner. And his thing, he does a lot of stuff. And he is like an extra, I guess, if you will. Yeah, he does extra work in the movies. And I don't know the particulars, but he's dressed up as an eggplant in one film. Okay. It's a giant eggplant. Uh-huh. With glasses and his dumb beard and mustache. Sticking out. In a movie? In a movie, yeah. He's a background guy. Okay. That's interesting. It's very specific. I don't know. I can't. I don't know. He's singing,...

Campbellton UFO

In November 1989, a notable UFO sighting occurred in Campbellton, New Brunswick, involving two sisters who witnessed an extraordinary display over Sugarloaf Mountain. While the sisters were on Van Horne Crescent, they observed three large, triangular crafts hovering silently in the night sky. The objects were described as having distinct lights and exhibited flight patterns that defied conventional physics, including the ability to move backward and then accelerate forward at incredible speeds before vanishing into the darkness.

Corcoran Entertainment Show

https://youtube.com/live/q76_OMqgdck

Transcript (AI transcription)

Hey, Frankie. How's it going tonight? I'm doing great, Bob. What's going on tonight? Happy New Year. Oh, it's true. Happy New Year. Did you see any lights in the sky? Do you believe it? We had a meteor go right over the St. Louis Arch on New Year's Eve. Oh, really? I was inside on New Year's Eve at a party. It was minus 20 outside on New Year's, so we stayed under the mini splits with with everything we needed. Didn't even look inside. It was so freaking cold. We're good. So let's just start it off. We'll talk to Frankie here and find out more about him, and then we'll go into our story for this week. Frankie, staying inside in negative 20 degrees, why? I mean, come on, you're Canadian. Oh, my God. Well, like, I'm not sure if you can see it real well, but my hands are so cracked. The cold weather just does not do my hands any good. So I just cover it in, like, before I went on, I just covered it in, what do you call it, the…What do you call it? The gel. I use it so much now I can't even remember what it's called. The cream, the cream. Anybody listening who can tell me what that cream is called? What do you want to call it? Utter butter? Have you ever used that stuff? Working cream. I think it's called like working hand cream or something like that. Something like that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's actually real. You guys can look that up on maybe like Amazon. I just get it from our local grocery store. Uh, but i normally pokes myself in that like God, uh, it's right now it's minus, uh, seven. I'm just checking my, uh, temperature there. Uh, minus seven out right now. I feel like, a a meteorologist right now with the microphone and I'm, what's it look like outside tonight frankie well right well bob right now it's cold. So I'm staying in and i'm calling in sick. it's 34 degrees here. Thank goodness.Plus on negative seven. Gosh. Oh, my God. No, it's unreal. I will trade with you right now. Well, everybody, Frankie runs Corcoran Entertainment. He is in Canada, specifically somewhere in New Brunswick. I can't remember exactly where, and I'm not going to tell you just in case he doesn't want me to. Anyway. What's that? Miramichi, New Brunswick. Miramichi? Yeah. I won't give you my exact address, but you got an idea of where that is. It sounds like a cherry, like Maraschino, Maraschino. Or people joke, they say Mayor McCheese. Mayor McCheese runs Mayor McCheese runs Maraschino. That's pretty good. Well, he's all the way on the east side of Canada. Yeah, I'm an east coaster. He's an east coaster. Yeah, so. It's all good, though. And so if you want to find out more about Frankie, you can go to at Corcoran Entertainment on the Instagram and Facebook.com slash Corcoran Entertainment. He and I have talked many, many times on his show, which is available on all platforms. And you should check it out. I'm in awe. Frankie gets the best people. I'm telling you. You have to go check it out. He's always got somebody good. AndI don't know how he does it, but he keeps it up. I'm surprised. Bob Lament. I always get Bob Lament on. I've had Bob on how many times? He's easy. Just recently, you added almost like a service on your website, which is need a guest? Call Bob, essentially. I love that. That's right. I've been pushing to be a guest. I'm like, you need somebody to talk? I'll come on. Someone's funny. as soon as I saw that, I said, you and I kind of joked about it the last time you were on my show last month. And so I saw that I said, Oh, he took what I said to her. I said, it was good advice. I was just joking. I made a joke. I was like, well, Bob, you're, you're always my go-to if I need someone. And then you're, and then after we stopped recording, you're like, you know, when you said that, you know, anytime you need someone, like, let me know. I said, and that's good. Bob will show up like whenever you need them. And it's,Scheduling-wise, for some people, it's always, okay, so when are you free? Oh, I'm free at this time, but not after this time. If you tell Bob, he's like, I'll make it work. So anybody listening who needs a guest, Bob is the man. He's always up for really anything. There's not even much preparation whenever I have you on my show. We just press record. whatever comes out goes, and it's gold. That's the way I like to work, too, without a net. I love to just go into it and see what happens. Were you kind of like that when you started Static Radio? Oh, yeah. We never prep. We never prep for anything. That's the good part and the terrible part because sometimes it's really good and sometimes it's, you know, maybe we should have prepped. Okay, because it's funny becauseWhen I started, I was kind of the opposite. I literally had like bulletin boards of like, almost like I was a homicide detective who's like, okay, so then how am I going to segue into this part here? And then now I'm just like, ah, just roll with it. You know what I mean? I said, you know, because half the time I would put in all the work trying to come up with different ways to segue into certain topics. And then eventually there was one point where I just ignored it and we just spoke from the heart, and I just said, yeah, just don't stress about it. When I started, I was kind of stressing too much about it. So it's just go with the flow. What happens, happens. If they hate you, then they don't have to come on again. But it is what it is, right? But clearly, Bob's been having a good time coming on the show because he keeps coming back, and I appreciate it.Oh, no, it's fantastic. I mean, a fantastic show. You're great to talk to. And we go through so many different topics. It's fun. It's fantastic. And tonight, this is a choice point for you. Because whenever we talked about doing this, I said, do you want to know or do you not want to know? And so this is another choice point. So I do a quiz each show about the topic. Now, I'll give you the choice to hear what the topic actually is, or you can go in cold and just take the quiz. Ah, let me see. Might be more entertaining to go in cold. Oh, I love that. That's what I would say. It matches my current environment where it's cold. So let's embrace it. All right, so we're gonna go right into the quiz. Here's some music.Quiz. All right, Frankie. So we've got five questions for you about the topic tonight, and they'll kind of reveal itself as we get into the quiz a little bit here. So it's multiple choice, so you don't have to work too hard. Thank God. I was going to say, I should have checked with that. I said it better be multiple choice because then I'm going to feel like an idiot. And hopefully there's a few things in the quiz that you should know probably anyway. More than likely. It starts out easy, gets harder as we go. Here's your first question. Are you ready? Ready. Okay. So this is in what year did the sisters witness the UFOs over Campbellton? And that is in New Brunswick, by the way. Right. Which you may be familiar with. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. About an hour or so away from me. Hour and a half. Yeah. Campbellton. Like, yeah. So A, 1979. 1979.B, 1989, C, 1999, or D, the year they finally finished construction on the Trans-Canada Highway? So never. Um… Never. Never? Never? Oh, Frankie, let's see. Hold on. The year was 1989. i shoot i was actually going back and forth between that and never. I'm like, something tells me no. That's all right. That's the first one. Don't feel bad and and you had totally cold. You didn't get any information that's good it's more it's more entertaining that way for people to just be like, why didn't he Or like, why did he go and call, you know? Because that would be kind of bland, folks. So question number two, over which specific landmark were the objects seen hovering? Here's your choices. A, Mount Carlton. B, the Rustigosh River. C, Sugarloaf Mountain. Or D, the world's largest axe in Nacowick.Sugarloaf. Oh, no, no, no. Mel Carlton. Oh. Don't tell me. So close. Sugarloaf Mountain. It was Sugarloaf. Son of a gun. I was like, I said it, and I said, no, I think Mel Carlton. Crap. I should have just trusted my gut. Yeah, exactly. You should have trusted your gut, and you would have had it. That's okay. There's no consequences here, so it's not like that's a big deal. Just the audience will look at me and go, that guy's dumb. No, they won't. They'll go say, hey, I got to listen over at Frankie on Corcoran Entertainment right there at Corcoran Entertainment. Hey, they're perfect. I like that. There you go. So question number three. What was the reported shape of the three crafts? Here's your choices. A, disc-shaped.B, cigar-shaped, C, triangular, or D, shaped like a giant denier with extra sauce? What was the first one again? Disc shape. Disc shape. I'm going to say that. Disc shape. Let's see if you got it. That's okay. That's okay, Frank. That was a good guess because those are all… flying saucer shapes. I was going to say, I said, I was like, which of all of them fits a flying saucer? And I was like, okay, I said, not a, not a donair for sure. So there's always a goofy one in here. So number four, question number four, which law enforcement agency officially logged the event as an unexplained sighting? Here's your choices. The RCMP, Royal Canadian Mounted Police....

Miles almost loses more than his fair share at the fruit machine while Bob tries to figure out the impossibilities of strong air currents.

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Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Ooh. Derdek. Hey, it's Miles. Hey, Miles. How are you doing tonight? Merry Christmas, Miles. Merry post-Christmas to you. Happy Boxing Day to you. I don't celebrate, but yes, happy to you, yes. I wonder why we don't celebrate Boxing Day. That's something that you think we would have adopted. I'm not even sure what that is. I may have heard of it, but I really don't even know what it is. There's all these sales after Christmas in the UK and Canada and Australia. Yeah. And Boxing Day, it's the day after Christmas. Oh, I guess. Actually, I didn't know. I thought it was Christmas. I thought it was about that Brad Pitt movie. I didn't know what it was. Yeah, you put heads in boxes. What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box?Yeah, we should, I would think it seems like all the British, uh, big british yeah countries do it, but we don't do it. So I guess that's probably, we're not gonna do the boxing goddamn brits lolita would you enjoy some boxing? I think you wouldn't, you would love to just say boxing day. You would like to keep asking people, um, what's in their box. You got a box. Can I see your box? What's in your box, mate? So did you have a good Christmas? I have a non-Christmas, but yeah. You're not celebrating anymore? You're Jehovah's Witness now? No, it just hasn't worked out yet. But eventually I will. Or not. Bum. Yeah. Whenever somebody gets up some gumption, they'll get it done. We had our Christmas early, actually. I guess two days ahead of Christmas we had Christmas. Because that's when everybody was available. Everyone's home.Everybody was home for a little bit. And, uh, so yeah, we did everything then. So big brother, Chuck Cunningham. Yeah. Everybody was there. You don't see him as much. No, you don't. Don't see me after the first season, honestly. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. But, uh, no, yeah, we, we had a pretty good one, I would say. Your brother-in-law, was he there? Oh, yeah. Did he pee in your house again? You mean outside? Well, hopefully outside, yeah, because you caught him on camera last year, I think. Yeah, that's right. That was a topic of conversation. But it was. Like, hey, man, Dave, I don't want to go into this, but man. No, I didn't even mention it. I think my son was like, hey, by the way. Uncle David?I saw your wiener. Dad's watching. No, we didn't see anything. His back was to the camera, so. Oh, more than two shakes. The funny thing was, though, his front was to the neighbors. Yeah, so. Yeah. Whatever that means. No, let's see. One of the big events was my brother-in-law took the kids to the casino and Ah, they went on an outing. I did not participate. It was weird. Cause your kids are only like five and six. It was a, a sweet pea situation. Popeye. He just left up in the lock car. Like I'll be back. Which, which, which, which you like in the fifth race. Uncle David will be back. Don't worry. No, they had a fun time. So yeah, I, I, I was forbidden from going, apparently. I said, maybe I'll go. No. My wife's like, you going? You would have ruined it. You're such a tight ass. She'd be like, well, just the dollar. Yeah, that's what she said. And once your dollar was gone, you'd be like, that's it. I'm going home. That's it. Yeah. Where's the free drinks? I'm just going to Uber myself back to University Heights. That's it. That's right. The…Yeah, they went and I think everybody won, but my future son-in-law, he did not win. But they only bet with their Christmas money, which I think sounds, I don't know, there's some kind of blasphemy in that if you ask me. Mr. Lament, I kind of lost my money. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, so it was… I want to picture this guy as like Christopher Lloyd from Taxi. That'd be funny. I'm going to marry your daughter. No, he's not Christopher Lloyd. Who would he be? If I had to give him a character… No, it'd be funny though, wouldn't it? If he was like… No! Yeah. Mr. Lament. I'm deeply in love with your daughter. Definitely not. Definitely not him. He'd be more of a Joe Pesci, I think. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Lamenti. Mr. Lamenti, say I'm funny. What do you mean I'm funny? How? Amuse you. How about a little bit more money for the casino there, tightwad? Oh, five. Yeah.but yeah, I, my, everybody, well, I guess my daughter must not have lost as well, but my son and my brother-in-law both won. So they were happy. Yeah. I see that guy being a shyster. Like you just stick with me, kid. I'm going to show you how to run this. It, you know, I don't, we don't hear about the losses, but my brother-in-law has won considerable amounts. Yeah. Yeah. on football and various other sporting events. Yeah. You know, he's not blinded by his, uh, fandom, uh, you know, where he just loses money because he has to vote for the, his favorite team. So I'm not sure you're getting that there partner, but, uh, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Hey, I'm not a whore, man. I stay with my team, man. I hear you. Well, you're not going to win any money. With that said, go Ravens! Yeah! No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. That's not my story, though. Actually, something happened just yesterday, and I am shocked thatI'm incredulous that I got this response. It just happened tonight. I got a new grill just ahead of Christmas, which I know you love to hear about that. You don't talk about grills as much, so I will listen to this one. I got a new grill and then I said, well, we have to get a grill cover. Well, sure. I got a new grill and I got a new grill cover and It was so windy last night because we went from like 73 degrees down to 13. Yeah. And the wind just came through like, you know, God knows what. So anyway, I had the new grill. I used it and then I covered it up. And then tonight I went to go use it again. And I'm like, where's the grill cover? Wow. It goes all around it. You know what I mean? Yeah.It forms to the grill, right? It's the shape of the grill. Form-fitting. Yeah. It's made for the grill. Right. It's like the skinny jeans of the grill. Exactly. Exactly. And so I'm like standing out there. I get it going. I'm cooking some chicken fajitas, which I know you love. I love. Yes. And you make really good chicken fajitas, by the way, everybody. Well, I don't. My wife does. If you ever get invited over to Miles' house, have the chicken fajitas. You can't go wrong. Sure. And so then I'm making my chicken fajitas and I'm thinking, I'm like, where could this grill cover have gotten off to? Because it's literally under a porch. Three words. St. Louis County is where it's at. And the wind was coming towards it. So the wind would have blew it into the house, not away from the house. Right.because we were facing west. And so I'm like standing out there and I'm like, wait a minute. So I noticed something while I was nodding off this afternoon out in the backyard on the back patio that looked like there's other, we have other things on the back patio that are covered for the winter. And I thought, well, that's weird. This thing looks like it's not in where it should be. So I go around to the back patio and lo and behold, there's the grill cover. Oh, okay. On the back patio near the door to get out there. Oh, okay. Also underneath an awning. Right. So I'm like, somehow the wind was able to, strip the grill of its cover, take this cover out of this, you know, kind of, it's on three sides. It's closed. There's only one open side and that's where the wind was coming from. Take it out of there, put it over the house and then deposit it underneath another area. Yeah.And I was telling my wife, and I'm like, this is amazing. I can't believe it. Normally, everything ends up in the woods, right? A box comes out of the garbage, it's in the woods. And depending on how far in the woods it goes, whether I go get it or not, if I can't hardly see it, it just stays in the woods. It'll all be green in the spring, who cares? Right, right. This somehow gets out from underneath this enclosed space over the house or around the house, I don't know. Magically. Into another slightly enclosed space. Like the magic bullet theory or something. I know. And I tell her, I'm like, this is amazing. She's like, eh, it could happen. I'm like, no, you don't understand. I was explaining to her, look, you don't understand. The wind is coming.It's pushing it into the house. There's no way. There's nothing else missing up there. Just this. Well, those covers, they just blow around. Are you not understanding what the fuck I'm talking about? I'm like, no, no, you don't. This can't happen. Everything that blows around goes into the woods. It's impossible. This thing should be in a tree somewhere. This is like your own Bigfoot sighting or something. You're like, it couldn't happen. It's possible. Yeah. And here it is on the back patio nestled up almost against the house. Better call Neil Degrassi or whatever the hell his name is. Whatever the hell his name is. I don't know. Neil Degrassi Tyson? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Him too. I don't know what his name is. I don't know. Neil Degrassi. Yeah.I don't know. So, yeah, I was just so aggravated. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it could happen. It could happen. Like, no, it can never happen. This is never. Nothing has ever left this porch and ended up on that patio. Nothing. It's a Christmas miracle. Come here, Mary. Bert and Ernie, come here. Look, look. I'm still aggravated by it. Your own version of it's a wonderful life or something, man. She's like, I'm sure one of the cameras caught it. No, no camera caught it. Jesus Christ....

Bob almost loses his popcorn, while Miles has a nervous breakdown instead of a hot dog.

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And that's what she said. Oh, my God. There we go. Oh, this is King Moonstar. Welcome to Static Radio. King Moonstar, how are you tonight? I'm great. I'm flying around the island. Which island would that be? Well, you know what island that would be. That would be the island of Misfit Tours. Of course, I should have known. With a Charlie in the box. That's right. Charlie in a box. Nobody wants an elephant who can't trumpet or something like that. Something like that, yes. I come from the imagination of Rankin and Bass. And my storyline was cut out. Yeah, I think so. Budgetary. Time constraints, Bob. Time constraints. This holiday special has been trimmed for time and I think he got caught you know, like playing with the dolls. No toy is truly loved unless a child loves it or something. I thought you were going to say Epstein Island for a minute. Yeah. That'd been funny. Okay, edit that in. I'm Captain… I'm King Moonstar from Epstein's Island. Oh, well. Go figure. I don't know. So, yeah, it's holiday…Yeah. Special time of year. It's going to be Christmas pretty soon. Christmas 2025. 2025, exactly. Mm-hmm. So what did you wish for, little boy? I wish that you would be a huge dickhead tonight. Oh, well, your wish can be granted. All right. Hold on. Let me play a little music here. Oh, fuck. Your wish is granted. Exactly. Aren't you glad? I know you've been waiting for this. Yeah, I know. Everyone is an asshole at the holiday season. I'm talking to one right now. Yeah. So I was out. I had to go out. I don't think I want to do this very much anymore. I think I'm just going to stay in. Yeah. I don't want to go out. I just want to stay in. All right, David Bowie. Yeah. Okay. Things don't really change. Oh, I try.I went out to pick up. I didn't even go into the store. I just was there to pick up. Young boys. No, groceries and stuff. I didn't even have to go inside. So I get to the pickup and it's just assholes and elbows, right? It's all wall-to-wall people. Didn't you have an elf help you last time you did a story like this? Like there was some little… Yeah, the person was dressed as an elf, yes. A homunculus or something? A homunculus. So there's only one spot to pick up in this particular place. And I have a smaller car, you know, no big deal. I can pull in there. So I pull in next to two trucks, a truck on either side. Mm-hmm. And normally, I'm very bad at parking. I wouldn't say it. Let me put it a different way. I don't care how I park most of the time. Okay. All right. I live in the Midwest. We have plenty of parking. Mm-hmm. There's always parking available. You just have to walk a little bit. Don't care. Mm-hmm.But I pulled into this parking spot and I tried to pull right in the center because these two big trucks were on either side. Sure. So I got in there and then I usually pop the back of the hatchback and that way they can just put stuff in. And I asked them to shut it and I'm on my merry way. Sure. So I'm getting out of the… but I can only open my door just barely. And I'm not, you know, I'm not a yogi or anything. I don't do any yoga or anything. So me, I'm also big. And so getting out of a car with very little room is not very conducive to my body type. Robert Conrad. Google that. If you don't know who that is, Google it. And so I open my door as far as I can.Louis Armstrong. Louis Armstrong. Okay. I see babies. I see babies. The wrong one. The wrong one. Okay. And so I opened my door as far as I can and I touch the mirror of this giant truck with these giant mirrors. And so, but I squeezed out. I mean, I didn't bang into it. I gently put my doors wide as I could and then I had to slide my fat self out. I open and I start coming back and the window's rolling down on the truck. Yeah. It's this lady and her daughter and she's like, you hit my truck. I go, I don't think I hit it. I go, yeah, we're kind of close here. I go, plus you're over the line, which she was. I just got in the car and I ignored her.because she was, she had this giant truck with these giant mirrors. It's, it was like, she's going to the store for fuck's sake. And she's driving this work truck kind of thing. This giant, like, you know three-quarter ton truck with these mirrors that stick out like a foot and a half. Got a dually and yeah exactly and I'm just like, Hey, I needed to pop the thing. I'm sorry about that. And then I slid in and shut the door and I was done. she didn't like it too much, but apparently she got over it. I don't know. She didn't say anything else to me. Yeah. Uh, and I didn't really do anything. I did. I did touch her car. I touched the mirror, but to be honest, my little car could not do anything to hurt her little car. Right. Like a Sherman. Yeah. I could have kicked that mirror and it wouldn't even have budged, you know? Right. Right. And if I could get my leg that high and then, um,So then I sit there, you know, and she gets her stuff before me, and then she leaves. And then the person comes out, and they're pushing two carts. And it's raining, by the way. Oh, no. And so she's pushing two carts, and, like, the cart that's trailing is, like, full of my stuff. I can tell because I know what was ordered, right? Mm-hmm. I'm like I thought that's mine. I'm like, where are they going? And so then they took it all the way down on the other side and dropped off the first cart and then they came around to bring mine. And at this point, this person is angry. It's raining. You know, they have to work. It's very busy. And so then they'reThey come to me and then they're just chucking shit in the back of the car. Like, yeah, you know, it's like everything's the whole car's rocking, you know? Oh, geez. And I'm like, and you know, I'm sitting there, you know, waiting for my thing. I'll say, thank you. Gone. Left the thing open. You know, no thank you. No, you know, I'm done. Wait, you let the hatch open? Yeah, yeah. Everything just took off. Oh, wow. I was reading an email or something. I look up. She's gone. Yeah. And then I look in the parking lot across the way, and there's a bag of my popcorn laying in the parking lot getting rained on. And I go, and then she's gone. I had to get out. I had to go get my popcorn like, you know, an idiot in the middle of the parking lot before it got run over. And he's pigeon toed. So it looked really funny. Yeah. So I'm already like, I messed myself up getting out with the door so close. Yeah. And then I throw my popcorn on top of my wet pile of groceries andAnd I shut my hatchback and I'm out of there. I'm like, these fucking people. Yeah. I'm never fucking going to the grocery store. Never again. Everyone is such an ass at the holidays. I'm just like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Just strewing my shit all through the parking lot. I've never seen that. I've gotten plenty of those pickups, but I've never seen that kind of attitude. Total attitude. My chips are all getting crushed. It's a whole thing. I thought you were losing weight. I still eat chips. And popcorn? Jeez. You should put that soda in first. On top of everything. Yeah. Put the heavy stuff in first. No. So that was my experience. I've got people hassling me. They're over the line. They're blaming me. Mr. Tough guy. Merry fucking Christmas to everybody. Just threw my shit all over. I paid for it. It's already paid for. Who gives a shit if your popcorn gets run over? It's already paid for. It's probably those ladies in the truck. They're like, I will give you 20 bucks. No, they never interacted with my person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.I was just like, oh my gosh, these people. It's raining. I know they don't want to do this. I mean, they don't want to do it, right? I don't want to do it. That's why I was there. I was there to pick up. I don't want to get out in the rain. You're not getting nine bucks an hour for nothing. Now you get out there and you… I don't know what the… No, they get more than that now. I'm joking. It was a joke. Oh, okay. Sorry. I'm sure they get more than nine bucks an hour when I get out here. They don't make the same as you. No, I get 10. So I can brag. I got a raise. Yeah. So I was just like, I'm like, never again. I'm never going to get groceries in my whole life. I'm just going to, I'm going to become a farmer. Make your wife go. Yeah. Well, I go, yeah, I go because she, I, I have gone to get the groceries as long as I can remember.

She doesn't like to go, and so I'm like, yeah, I'll go. Yeah, you see why? Do you see why? Yeah, no kidding. Bunch of jagoffs. No, we go. We bring dogs with. I mean, we go. Yeah, I'm sure you do. You're sitting on the parking lot, you know, eating a pizza. We're going to go grocery shopping. I like it because my dog just eyeballs these people up because they don't really know how to react like, Shit, is this dog going to attack or what the hell? Well, because it's got the coogly eyes. It's all crazy. That's why. It's like, oh, shit. So, yeah. So, Merry Christmas, everybody. Season, you know, peace on Earth. Goodwill towards men. Wow. Yeah. Since then, I have not left the house.That's almost a true statement as well. Wow. No, I believe you. Yeah. Wow. Really? I've never gone that bad before. That's weird. Oh, I know. Normally I get the guy, I get the people are nice and they chat with me and they're, you know, I know when it's raining, it's horrible to drag out all that stuff, but I'm like, you know, it was, it was super busy. Yeah. Normally I don't go during super busy times. I usually try to avoid that, but not anymore. No. Yeah. It didn't work. Yeah. Yeah. Not nice. Didn't want to be there. Hated their job. I don't know. Whatever. Probably sucks. Can you go outside?...