If you learn nothing else from Jason, please check your pizzas before you leave for home!

Working in retail adds +5 to your empathy to those who would do similar customer service jobs! You should try it!

Jason loves watching people work in a kitchen! It might be creepy!

A large commercial fridge is a good place to let our your frustrations! Turns out, Hollywood doesn't lie about everything!

Jason forgoes his Santa/Jesus points for providing a generous tip, but it would still be nice if someone would take notice.

Little Caesar's stands out for both getting a bad rap and being generally bad pizza!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's CAVE STORY TIME!

When it comes to crevasses, Steve wants you to be curious! The depth! The size! The breadth! It's full of potential!

Jason's son thinks it would be cool to spelunk and see something cool, but Jason knows that it would NOT be cool!

Jason wants his son to know that he could be bad at something, so he shouldn't try in the first place! He'll go far in life!

Steve learned the wrong lessons from the Zelda series and now goes searching local caves for old men with weapons for him!

When Steve is duped by AI with an improbable, crudely-amusing doo-wop ditty, Jason calls for an end to their podcasting relationship!

Jason and his wife enjoyed a trip back to the 80's on a recent car trip and were jamming until an obviously AI-generated, soulless rock anthem snapped them from their huge-haired trance and made them kick their inept also-ran to the curb!

Steve guarantees Jason that David Archuleta has an orifice for defecating and if THAT'S not a case against AI, we don't know what is!

Steve can't rid of the filth like his wife can, probably because she has more time to devote to such a disgusting chore!

Jason can't leave a mess behind him anywhere and it upsets his family!

Steve's son assumes the water leak on the bathroom floor is his dad's pee and Steve reckons the same about his son!

Steve wants to finally have Jason over for dinner but Jason knows better!

Steve is putting together a home gym and already thinks he's a shoe-in for the World Warrior tournament!

Hanging his own heavy bag nearly cost Steve a nipple!

Jason has experienced... chafing, which is kinda the exact same thing!

Steve thinks his purely aesthetic nipples are less urgent an issue than more functional ones from females!

Jason's worst scar was so insignificant that it appears to be completely healed, like it was never there in the first place!

Jason takes advantage of their video call to showcase his third nipple for Steve! It's probably actually a birthmark!

Steve and Jason think they should be more popular for their lack of shame!

Steve laughs hysterically at conversations he and Jason might, but never have, had! Oh man, that could have been hilarious!

Steve ruins egg drop soup for Jason! And maybe the ocean as well!

The guys want to convince the manosphere that it's cool and alpha to jerk off in the ocean! Here's hoping Charles Barkley can help with the effort!

Time to add to the Jason Lore again! This time, we decide, once and for all, if Jason is, or has ever been, cucked!

In response to denying temptation while in a relationship with Jason, fortune may smile upon you!

Jason has celebrated his wife getting home from travel abroad multiple times since she returned, and he doesn't even care if guilt factors in!

The guys try to define the word cuck but find themselves lacking in cuckness to do so!

Steve recently learned that not all internet conspiracies are reliable! Yay growth!

Steve might have been in the gifted program that actually trained assassins, but he was too dim to realize it!

Celebrities are not capable of actual friendship because they're robots. That's a bold claim that neither guy can back up! And since they determine they truly are friends, they're officially not celebrities!

Was your friend group like The Goonies? Probably not, but you want to think so, don't you?

Steve traveled to a region that has things like goatsitting and porch goats!

Ever try to catch a runaway goat? Steve has tips to make your hunt a successful one!

The guys believe that goats just want to be free... to stick their heads in random things!

As a youth, Steve utilized strained puns to wow potential dates. Did you know that "goat" rhymes with "go"? It's very helpful!

Jason avoided dances and soirees, instead opting for buds and games. It's worked out so far!

Both Steve and Jason are still men who are convinced their pop culture-focused T-shirts are great conversation starters!

Steve thinks dodging his way through a throng of old, naked men builds character!

Jason was scared away from the gym thanks to a poorly-directed tour that led him through a veritable forest of man meat!

Jason assumes, if he's naked, even if the door is locked and the blinds are shut, someone can see everything he's got!