Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

In this episode, Winter and Lee reflect on how they navigate the grief and loss of their sweet baby boy, Brannan. They share an update on their healing journey, how they honored Brannan's sixth birthday, and discuss how they continue to heal while keeping his memory alive.

Lee also reads an essay he wrote about the forces that turn dangerous broken glass into something beautiful.

Some highlights from this episode with Winter and Lee:

• Celebrating Brannan's sixth birthday

• Reflecting on the different phases of grief

• Comparing grief to sea glass and the beauty that can come from pain

• Finding solace in remembering their sweet baby boy on his birthday

• How honoring their baby boy brings peace and a deeper sense of family

While the reminder of the loss of a child can be painful, it's possible to find comfort in celebrating their life. How do you remember your child on their birthday? We'd love to hear your stories.

"It was nice and we didn't go over the top. [And nobody] I don't think we felt like we were guilting anybody to celebrate with us. And it was very well incorporated into what a birthday for a six year old would be like in our family." – Lee and Winter (2:02)

"This year was my son Brannan's sixth birthday, and maybe for the first time, it was a very peaceful, calm day for me. It wasn't filled with hectic scheduling, trying to figure out how to get fundraising, or do service projects. It was a day of remembrance and a day of family." – Lee (8:21)

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

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Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

After a decade has passed, the pain of losing a child never fades. Today's guest, Jennifer, shares the challenges she's faced since that routine checkup when she discovered her son, Nicholas, no longer had a heartbeat.

In this episode, Jennifer and Winter talk about the years following Nicholas's passing, the sweet help she received from her family (especially from the family dog), and the meaningful ways she remembers her son to build a legacy for him.

Some highlights from this episode with Jennifer:

• The importance of emotional support that doesn't try to "fix" grief

• The struggle of packing away Nicholas's belongings after his passing

• Dealing with insensitive comments and advice from others

• Emotions that come up on Father's Day

• Finding solace in honoring Nicholas's legacy

Jennifer's story is one of strength. Through honoring Nicholas's memory, she has been able to find both comfort and purpose. How do you keep the memory of your little one alive?

"I know he's in the best place he can be. But like, in my mom-heart, like, he needs to be here with his mom." – Jennifer (13:39)

"My amazing maternal fetal medicine doctor, when I was getting moved to the rooms, gave me a hug. And she said, 'You'll never get over this, but you will get through this' and that stuck with me every day." – Jennifer (20:46)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/telling-his-story-after-11-years-a-mothers-stillbirth-story/id1473594556?i=1000662864599

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Little baby Nicholas was diagnosed with multicystic dysplastic kidney syndrome after an anatomy scan. Doctors advised that they would just keep an eye on it, assuring Jennifer that he should be a normal functioning baby. Tragically, Nicholas had blood clots in his umbilical cord and was stillborn at 33 weeks.

In this episode, Jennifer shares her journey, including her move to Florida, discovering she was pregnant, and finding new care for herself and her baby. She talks about choosing the name Nicholas after learning she was pregnant in December. Jennifer also reflects on the heartbreaking moment when she was told that her son no longer had a heartbeat.

Some highlights from this episode with Jennifer:

• A difficult delivery experience and the trauma following her baby's death

• Confusion and frustration with medical staff during a stressful hospital visit

• Memories of Nicholas, including a memory box given to them at the hospital

• Events during the funeral planning and service and dealing with the loss of a child due to

• Losing Nicholas at birth due to an umbilical cord complication

While the pain of losing Nicholas may never fade, Jennifer continues to honor his memory in meaningful ways, finding healing and purpose along the journey.

"My baby shower was supposed to be the weekend that he passed away. So that was kind of hard to call people and say, 'Hey, you know, please don't show up at my house.'" – Jennifer (16:34)

"I cremated him because I wanted him to come home in some sense." – Jennifer (48:34)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ive-learned-how-to-be-fine-after-11-years-advice-from/id1473594556?i=1000663560485

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Stacy's sweet little son, Carson, was stillborn at 34 weeks due to unknown reasons. Stacy opens up about the support that helped her navigate her grief and shares advice for others who are experiencing similar pain.

In this episode, Stacy talks with Winter about the support that helped her after the stillbirth of Carson. Stacy also talks about her wonderful family and friends that reached out and helped, as well as the great support group that she has been able to be involved with.

Highlights from this episode with Stacy:

• The challenges of finding support and managing grief after a stillbirth

• Accepting different grieving styles

• Finding joy in memories of her son, Carson

• Navigating well-meaning, but sometimes unhelpful, comments

• The importance of open communication permission to talk about your baby

Stacy also shares a deeply emotional letter to Carson, honoring his memory and the impact he continues to have on her life. Stacy's story is a powerful reminder of the importance of community, communication, and allowing oneself the grace to grieve and heal.

"I think we just started grieving differently as the months went on and I had to learn to, you know, not judge his grief based on my grief." – Stacy (9:47)

"And I think as time goes on, there's days that I'm sad, there's days that I'm okay, but it's nice that, you know––I'm probably never going to be the same as I was, but at least I can find joy in life still." – Stacy (13:13)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-was-such-a-smiley-baby-a-stillbirth-mothers-story/id1473594556?i=1000661421771

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Stacy's conversation with Winter is a powerful one. She opens up about how she found comfort during the most heartbreaking time of her life––the loss of her son, Carson, who was stillborn at 34 weeks due to unknown reasons.

In this episode, Stacy and Winter talk about getting 4D and 3D ultrasounds and seeing Carson's smiley face and happy demeanor. Stacy talks about being pregnant with baby Carson and what led to going into the hospital to check on him.

Some highlights from this episode with Stacy include:

• Pregnancy after miscarriage, early ultrasounds, and OBGYN appointments

• Regret around not tracking baby's movements and the importance of counting kicks

• Her decision not to undergo an autopsy

• The difficult moment of handing over their stillborn baby to funeral home staff

• Finding a special spot for Carson in the cemetery and feeling comforted by the presence of other children buried nearby

Stacy's story is a reminder of the importance of cherishing every moment and fidning healing through connection and reflection, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

"I wanted to be alone––so that's just what I preferred. I sat in that room. I remember there was a clock right in front of me and I just was watching it tick. I felt like I was just having a bad dream or something." – Stacy (29:12)

"But it was like I was holding a baby. like, because I was just––he just wasn't crying. He wasn't breathing, but he was there. And that moment will forever be so special because, again, it was peaceful. It was sad, but he was perfect." – Stacy (46:28)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-was-such-a-smiley-baby-a-stillbirth-mothers-story/id1473594556?i=1000661421771

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Today's guest, Claire, shares her experience of losing her daughter, Paulie, during childbirth due to shoulder dystocia. She opens up about how she found ways to navigate her grief.

In this episode, Claire talks with Winter about the journey she's faced since the tragic loss of her daughter, Paulie. She reflects on the comfort of a meal train organized by supportive friends, which took the burden of cooking off her family's shoulders. Claire also discusses her return to work as a step toward finding a sense of normalcy and as a way to help distract herself from the immense pain.

Some highlights from this episode with Claire:

• Claire shares Paulie's birth story, including the tragic accident during delivery

• The physical and emotional toll of losing her daughter

• Returning to work as a way to ease back into everyday life

• How staying active supported her emotional and mental healing

• The importance of acknowledging grief and practical ways to support someone after a loss

Claire's story is a reminder of the power of community, the importance of recognizing grief, and the small, meaningful steps toward healing after loss.

"The day before the funeral I had went for an ultrasound early in the morning because I had an infection in the uterus–it really felt like the world is kicking you when I was down. That's really what it felt like." – Claire (13:31)

"I definitely think to ignore and talk about other things is worse for me than bringing it up and saying––not, 'are you okay?' But like, you know, really saying like, 'I loved your pregnant belly,' like, 'I wish Paulie was here with us. I wish she was able to experience how amazing you are' or whatever." – Claire (26:28)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/one-moment-we-were-so-happy-and-then-it-all-changed/id1473594556?i=1000659933271

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

While pregnancy is often filled with joy and anticipation, sometimes things take a devastating turn that no one should ever have to face. In this episode, Claire shares the story of her sweet daughter, Paulie, who was born at 41 weeks but tragically passed away during the birthing process.

Claire talks about the early stages of labor at the birthing center, where everything seemed to be going smoothly, until complications when Paulie became stuck in the birth canal and needed to be rushed to the hospital.

Some highlights from this episode with Claire:

• Getting pregnant, a previous miscarriage, and its emotional toll

• A positive pregnancy experience and enjoying the journey

• An emergency c-section and the medical team's efforts to save Paulie

• The grief of losing Paulie and the support Claire received from loved ones

• The importance of getting photographs taken by the hospital's photography team

We hope this episode helps you find gratitude for the brief, but precious, time spent with your little ones who have passed. We also hope you can find comfort in those cherished memories, despite the heartache.

"I was, like, getting ready to cry and feel all the feelings. The head was out and immediately the midwife looked panicked and said, 'call the ambulance right now.'" – Claire (52:23)

"It was just not the way we had planned 12 minutes ago––not what we thought was going to happen 12 minutes ago, as we were literally laughing. To go from that to, like, a huge tragedy was just horrible." – Claire (1:08:25)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-can-i-do-to-help-a-mother-after-their-child/id1473594556?i=1000660674141

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Seeking out community support and recognizing that grief is a normal, ongoing process are key steps in healing.

In this episode, Ari opens up to Winter about the loss of her sweet baby boy, Kai, who was stillborn at 30 weeks. They discuss the importance of finding community and seeking professional help when needed. Ari looks back on the support she received from family and friends who all played a crucial role in her healing journey.

Some highlights from our conversation with Ari include:

• Attending support groups and therapy for emotional healing

• Remembering to take breaks from sadness and rediscovering yourself outside of parenthood

• The experience of pregnancy and anxiety after the loss of a child

• Sharing memories of her son Kai with loved ones

• Finding comfort in acknowledging her grief

We hope this episode brings comfort and serves as a reminder that seeking joy and taking time for yourself are crucial steps in the healing process.

"And so being pregnant after losing Kai was hard, I lost a lot of that kind of joy. Because I knew very well, like, the statistics of baby loss and had experienced it myself. So at every turn I was just constantly worried and had come prepared for every like appointment with lots of questions.'" – Ari (13:51)

"It's really, really heavy in the beginning––it's incredibly heavy, and it will continue to be on certain days. But I think over time, generally speaking, like, although the grief stays with me, you just kind of wear it differently. It's a little bit lighter, it's a little bit easier to carry. And, yeah, you're not alone, so seek out community." – Ari (26:09)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-was-born-in-the-golden-hour-a-mothers-stillbirth-story/id1473594556?i=1000658305902

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

After struggling with infertility for 18 months and finally conceiving naturally, Ari talks about the "sweet and tender moment" of their first prenatal appointment. Everything seemed to be progressing well until sadly, their son, Kai, was stillborn at 30 weeks.

In this episode, Ari and Winter reflect on the process of grief, the support from loved ones, and how Ari navigated their heartbreaking loss.

Some highlights from our conversation with Ari include:

• The emotional experience of delivering Kai naturally and trying to remain present during a tragic moment

• Cherishing the moments spent with Kai after his death

• The gentle guidance provided by supportive professionals and a social worker during a difficult time

• The grieving process and how to cope with such a profound loss

• Exploring options for post-mortem care, including cremation and burial

Ari's journey through the loss of her son, Kai, is a powerful reminder of the importance of honoring the memory of our loved ones. We hope this episode offers comfort and guidance as you navigate life after loss, find support, and take the time to grieve, heal, and cherish the moments we have.

"My heart just sunk. And it was just like, such disbelief. And immediately I was just beating myself up for not having gone in earlier and just flooded with questions of like, 'How long ago did he pass?' And then also, just feeling like, you have disbelief that like, no, like, this can't be real." – Ari (47:44)

"Regardless of, you know, the outcome of this pregnancy and this baby's death, like, he's a part of our family––we're always gonna love him.'" – Ari (1:06:35)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-finding-community-helped-me-heal-in-my-grief-advice/id1473594556?i=1000659149776

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

At 28 weeks, placental issues led to emergency C-section where Elif gave birth to twins. Tragically, she lost her daughter two hours after birth and her son three days later.

In this episode, Elif and Winter talk about the grief process, cultural practices, and how to memorialize and cope with such profound loss.

Some highlights from our conversation with Elif include:

• Losing her daughter two hours after birth and her son three days later

• Seeking help through couples therapy to navigate grief

• Grief journeys and the importance of not judging others' experiences

• The need for better parental leave support in the United States

• The fear of children being forgotten

We hope that Elif's belief in a light at the end of the tunnel and the hope for a better outcome from suffering is encouraging to anyone who's listening. If you or someone you know is going through a similar journey, we encourage you to reach out for support and know that you are not alone.

"I felt sad, then I felt angry, then I felt devastated. And now I am slowly starting to feel more positive about the whole experience. You know, I am so proud to be their mother." – Elif (2:25)

"We shouldn't judge anybody's grief journey. We can just see someone looking so strong over the whole process and deep inside they can be devastated so we shouldn't be judgmental." – Elif (4:33)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-little-swallows-are-flying-in-paradise-a-mothers/id1473594556?i=1000656777622

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support!

YOUTUBE:

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.