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TODAY -- The season gets crowded. Capacity isn’t disloyalty—it’s logistics for a heart carrying a lot.

Journal prompt: “A boundary that made room for me was…”

Choose your pace before the week chooses it for you. Let a flicker of relief lead: make one clear decision today and notice your shoulders drop. Rebuild with a concrete move—opt out (“Not this year”), leave early (“I can stay 45 minutes”), or tap-in an ally (someone who runs interference or signals the exit). Then step it onto the calendar: add start/exit times or your ally’s name and plan in the event notes so Future-You doesn’t have to negotiate in the moment.

Choose-your-energy menu:

• Hollow (low): Remove one non-essential event this week.
• Healing (medium): Add an exit time to one commitment and text your ally.
• Becoming (higher): Add pacing notes to three upcoming events (opt out / leave early / ally + signal).

To end today:
Grief after suicide rarely fits the calendar the world hands you. Pacing isn’t selfish; it’s survival planning for a heart that’s still rebuilding. When you opt out, leave early, or bring an ally, you’re not disrespecting tradition—you’re refusing to sacrifice yourself to it. Your capacity will change week to week; let your plans change with it. The people who love you can handle clarity, and the ones who can’t are telling you something useful. There is no prize for white-knuckling through an event that costs you three days of recovery. Choose the version of participation that lets you wake up tomorrow with a little more breath than today. 

Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜

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