The Craft Ladies are back! And they've got all kinds of tips for crafts you can work on without having to leave the house! Like pouring mud for the insane, or wienering a troll, or an oyster holding a sign that says "I'm not anything." You need all of that right now!

Well, it's that time of year again. Time for two things. Time to buy your fireworks, like a Soup Betrayer, or a Mild Hawk Surprises You With Explosions. And it's time for the big Hal Embry Ford July 4th Sales Event! Bring a sick swordfish, and we'll nurse it back to health! Enjoy!

Well, it looks like we've hit an important milestone (our 250th episode!) just when Miss Issatalia is turning 250. It's time to celebrate! If your neck is so wide that you have to drink solids, or if you're hungry for a meatball that wind's Neil Diamond's watch with its peepee, you know just what we mean. Listen now, and we can all play "trim the baby oil off the chandelier"!

It's time to spend the night with the heroes of the emergency room. It's always busy during the Wave to Your Mom Convention, so we could be in for a rough night. And it's brought to you by a product that's only available if you bicycle to Guam. If you've ever been out all night classifying vermin, this one's for you!

You know what would be perfect right now? A master class in self-improvement. Or in ripening things before they're ready! Just head on down to the school that's next door to Uncle Angry's HearseMobile, which is a giant car that houses a hearse. And remember, the wrong indecision can kill!

Adventure! Excitement! A drawing of dim sum on the edge of the world! It's the jungle adventure you've been waiting for! It's got everything. Glossy lipgloss, church gerbils, and a statue in honor of numchucks. Enjoy it up to the level of your nougat dispenser, which is pretty high.

Hey kids, it's that time again for story time! If you feel like you are a phone, then call yourself on you, and if you feel grandma-ish, put on this grandma mask! Hose each other off with glad powder, and definitely don't sheep someone who isn't looking. And always remember, Drugs Are No!

Sometimes the angels and the demons have to get together to work out some of their problems. Like, if one time you skied under a Burger King, for example. Or maybe if you require some rhubarb furniture. The important thing to remember is, don't join a racist circus. And enjoy!

Well, you know how sometimes you gotta take little TreeDog's sister to the vet after her voodoo doll was trampled on by a road warrior? You know, when they give you a nice commemorative "What Pies Mean To Me" jacket? When your little pet is caught in a Moses Loop? Well, this episode is a lot like that.

This week, we take you back to the early days of this nation, where people believed in witches, or "Operators of the dark" which is definitely not how you say that. Back when your dad was a clam server at a clam restaurant, and when reading a hosiery package in an evil way could get you tried for witchcraft. Enjoy it at Gordon's Happy House: For When Your Steam is Lonely.