Sweet Feathery Jesus!

Featuring: Beardo, Booze, Chuck Turtleman

Whaaaaat's up, my honkies? The boys are back in town, and one of them has managed to convince someone to marry him. Spoiler alert: it's neither Chuck nor Beardo. Also, this is our very special halloween special, but somehow, no-one remembered to include any halloweeny content, or mention halloween in any way, shape or form. Instead, Chuck and Booze reminisce fondly about Booze's sham of a wedding, and the first time that they have ever locked (bog)eyes in real life. The gentlemen compete as to their proficiency on wind instruments (that's not a euphemism), and also discuss some Pants News (because "pants seldom let you down when you need 'em"). What else? Oh, just psychotic China Leaders, smoking monkeys & some Idiots of Social Networking. You know. The usual.

So don't be a massive "silly billy"*. Stop complaining, you dirty little fart-sniffer. It's SFJ, and it's back, bitches.

So turn all the lights off, pull the curtains, and eat all the fun-sized Mars bars yourself while you stick us in your ears. Happy Halloween, my honkies!

*Beardo wrote 'cunt' here, but Booze changed it to 'silly billy'.

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Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman, Beardo

Whaaaaat's up, my honkies?! This week we have conspired to bring you a very, very special episode of SFJ… it's our Season 2 finale (some say finalé)!

This episode is all about conspiracies, or, in the words of Winston Churchill, "a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, inside a monkey".

As we all know, 9/11 was an inside job, and we get the inside scoop on how it was (probably) all planned out. Chuck is curious about children's clothing, Beardo brings us an episode from his critically acclaimed Beardo's True Conspiracies from Australian History, and Booze surprises us with a secret quiz!

So stick us in your mystery holes, my honkies, and enjoy this very special Sweet Feathery Jesus Podcast!

Post scriptum:

We're taking a brief hiatus over the summer. But don't worry, Professor Chuck Turtleman will soon be launching a brand new (and very special) Idiots of Facebook Podcast, which will begin by featuring the best of our favourite Idiots, such as Duct Tape Lisa and Friend Zone Frank (yaaaay!). Post Post scriptum:

Keep up with all the Summer fun by joining the Sweet Feathery Jesus gang in the very special secret closed Facebook (letters FB) group. Our dedicated team of archivists post all the action from our favourite Idiots, plus all the monkey and Chinese Chinapeople stories that cross the news wires. Befriend Beardo Bearington, send him a message, and he'll let you enter his portal.

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Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman, Beardo

Whaaaat's up, my honkies?

In this moderately special episode of the Sweet Feathery Jesus podcast, we finally hire a young Chinese China Engineer kid off of Craiglist (some say Creggslist) to sort out Chuck Turtleman's sound. He couldn't get rid of the hiss, but blimey, he works cheap.

Booze is horrified by his old school's new motto, Beardo speaks some posh Latin, and Chuck uses his famous felon judging skills on the exciting new gameshow… What Did The Naughty Man Do?

All this, some Chinese Chinapeople getting scammed by fake jellyfish, some 1950's French people getting punk'd by the CIA, and Frank leaving his apartment to visit the big city. Which does not go well.

So stick us in your ear, my special little snowflake.

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Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman, Beardo

Whaaaat's up, my honkies?

Long time listeners will know that a certain member of the Sweet Feathery Jesus cast has always had a fraught relationship with technology. Won't say which, but his name rhymes with "Buck Burtleman".

Long story short, something went wrong with the recording on "Buck"'s end, meaning that we had to use our back­up Skype recording. Thanks to Skype being a bit rubbish, Booze sounded like he was shouting through a megaphone, Beardo seemed to be whispering from the West Wing of his mansion, & Turtleman was obscured by a wall of hiss (no change there, then.)

We had to remix it with brute force just so we were all audible, meaning it ended up sounding like it'd been dredged up after 40 years on the bottom of the ocean, transferred onto a wax cylinder, smashed into a thousand pieces, sellotaped back together, then played back through a pair of Beats headphones.

Never mind, though. On this very special, very terrible sounding SFJ podcast, you will (sort of) hear us go head to head (to head) to find out who can do the most perfect Italian accent, meet a Tiger Whisperer who should've spoken up a bit, and discover which country has the worst Netflix choices in the whole world. And no toilet paper.

Also, our favourite Idiot of Facebook, Friendzone Frank, finally gets his big break in Hollywood! But can't be bothered to turn up.

So stick us in your ear, my nipples. Just pretend it's a bootleg or something.

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Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman, Beardo

Beware the moon, my honkies!

On this really rather special episode of the SFJ podcast, we travel to deepest darkest Worcestershire in search of the mythical badly drawn werepanther / bin bag that stalks the land and haunts the dreams of children. And also because we really want to hear Chuck Turtleman try to pronounce "Worcestershire".

Beardo is back from getting married (sorry, ladies and hunky beefcakes), and we find out all about the poshest Australian wedding of the century in a very very in-depth SFJ Special Report. Concentrating mainly on his trousers.

We also make a record breaking attempt to decipher the badly spelled, chemical enhanced status updates of not one, not two, but THREE Idiots of Facebook on one podcast. They said it couldn't be done!

All this, and Booze doing a Scotch accent that will, quite frankly, knock your socks off and make them fly across the room. Eat your heart out, Mel Gibbons.

So stick us in your ear, stick to the roads, and keep off the moors.

*This podcast is not available in the North Carolina branch of iTunes

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Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman

Whaaaat's up, my honkies?

On this extremely special episode of the SFJ podcast, Chuck Turtleman brings us his exciting new segment… Pants News!

Now, calm down, non-American ladies and hunky beefcakes. Chuck is talking about trousers, not knickers. And also,what he actually brings us is facts about pants, not news. So this segment, and this entire podcast, should really be called Pants Facts! But he's made a jingle now.

Meanwhile, Idiot of Facebook Frank is earning his title by loudly proclaiming that he's trimming his Friends list. Oh no! Will SFJ make the cut? Frank has also joined some (free) dating websites. It would be a shame if some unscrupulous person who may or may not be a Sweet Feathery Jesus listener found his dating profile.

Oh, and Frank is definitely NOT gay. Got it?

All this, and an answer to the big questions. Is dumpy despot Kim Jong-Il Jr really DTF in the Grand Poonyang Hotel? And do you still have to dismantle your white male privilege if you were one of those kids born without a nose?

So stick us in your ear and don't forget to hit us up on Yik-Yak, Friend-O or Squiddly Diddly.

#1969not1836

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Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman

Whaaaat's up, my honkies?

On this very special episode of the SFJ podcast, we catch up with Idiot of Facebook Lisa Br(BEEEP)do. Lisa claims to be the daughter of famous Godfather actor Marlon Br(BEEEP)do, and has taken his surname, but to protect her anonymity, we never reveal it on the podcast.

Lisa is now an artist, creating wonderful works in many mediums, most of which seem to appear when you do a reverse DuckDuckGo image search, for some reason. Now Lisa has been approached by a VERY famous auction house and is selling some of her pieces. It's all very exciting. Especially for her boyfriend Billy, who sure does love her, according to his Facebook account. Which may or may not be maintained exclusively by Lisa. (It is).

We investigate whether badly-spelled pop star Zayn Malik's crippling pickled egg addiction was the real reason for his split from The One Direction, wonder how many Chinese China strippers we'd need to hire to get anyone to turn up to our funerals, and try to locate Kim Jong Il Jr's missing submarine before nanny gives him his bath.

All this, and an SFJ Special Report into whether the monkeys of the Republic of the Republic of Guinea really believe in God, & why they'd think he's such a fan of rudimentary masonry work.

So run yourself a nice deep bath, have a loved one bring you a big plate of chicken wings but DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT stick us in your ear. Please make sure your podcast delivery device of choice is placed a safe distance away from the bathtub. You don't want to tempt fate.

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Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman, Beardo

Whaaaat's up, my honkies?

On this extra-special episode of the SFJ podcast, we see a new side of our favourite Idiot of Facebook, Frank. And, as we've seen his penis, we didn't think there were many new sides left to see. Frank reveals a love letter he received about a decade ago, from a lady who may or may not have been a mermaid. With a very low megapixel cameraphone.

Oh, & our other favourite Idiot Lisa sings us a beautiful song, after which all her celebrity friends line up to tell her how great it was.

Beardo is back to tell us what happened on his in-no-way-highly-suspicious-not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that-anyway all-male super fun weekend. Are these tame anecdotes REALLY the best things that happened in the whole 72 hours? Or does what happened in the YMCA, STAY in the YMCA?

All this, tougher sentences for children, a fish that STILL isn't biting gentlemens' bits and bobs, and in-depth coverage of one of Jennifer Lopez's testicles.

So pull on your internet wetsuit, spit in your mask and stick us in your snorkel.

Dive! Dive! Dive!

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