Talking ‘Bout My Evolution

I talk about a bunch of things, but what stands out is what minimum wage really should be.  Is $15/hr today worth $2/hr that minimum wage originally was?  In that case, I am making "minimum" wage, even though it's not the real minimum wage.  Then I have to think about how I am valuing myself and why I have accepted this low wage.  I have more clearing to do around work and self-worth.

I talk about how I was listening to my mentor Rebecca Davison's podcast and radio show, Find Your Bliss, the "11 Manifesting Tips" episode.  I discuss some of her top tips to manifesting and then talk about how listening to this episode sparked a lengthy forgiveness session in me that opened up a bunch of space and moved some big energy out.

I talk about Caroline Myss and a couple of her lectures I listened to that discussed archetypes: what they are and why they are important.  I talk about how I felt like a lightning bolt hit me when she started discussing the Wendy and Peter Pan archetypes and how knowing I am Wendy has given me sudden and deep awareness about my marriage.  

I talk about how angry I've been lately and how I didn't realize how angry I was until I listened to my past 5 podcasts.  I talk about how I need to release this anger and who/what I am angry with and/or frustrated by.  

I talk about how many people I had to talk to and some of what I had to say about how they are advising kids and how transcripts are interpreted and what the school could do to help resolve some of these issues.  I'm still angry, but I got Fran back in his college-class.

I talk about how my kid's school screwed up with the advising and scheduling and now wants to make my kid pay for their mistakes and I put my foot down and said no.  I realized I need to escalate the situation, so I talk about it for a while.

I talk about how different things are really triggering me about my job and it all dawned on me in a rush yesterday.  I feel like I'm in trouble all the time and I can't stand it.  I also am rubbing up against the fact that I am used to being the answer man, but in this job I don't know enough and have to constantly ask others for help.  I think all this button-pushing is actually good for me and is helping me recognize, work through and clear some long-buried stuff, but yesterday it really got me down.

I talk about having to give Fran his first testosterone shot at home and how anxiety-inducing and nerve-wracking an experience that was.  I also talk about how I was supposed to take part in a full-weekend online retreat and how I ultimately didn't feel like it and how the thought of the retreat and people trying to direct my time and tell me what to do produced anger and resistance in me.  I wanted to spend time over the weekend taking care of myself, but not in the same way that the retreat wanted me to.  

I talk about Mark Manson and his description of how rich people think and how poor and middle-class people think about money.  I try and figure out where my beliefs lie.

I talk about how the most recent house inspection went and how my house has a circulatory issue, which is really a power leak issue.  I have decided to buy the house anyway and I'm excited about moving forward.