Talking ‘Bout My Evolution

I talk about how I am still waiting for the divorce to get finalized before I feel like my life can take off.  I am frustrated with how long this process has been taking and how in limbo I am.  I look forward to my court date in July and hope that the divorce can be settled then and there.

I talk about more information I'm learning in my Actualize OS course by Ken Wilbur.  I do my best to discuss Ken's description of Shadow Work and what happens when you move through the levels imperfectly and leave pieces of your energy in the earlier structures/levels/rungs.  I liken this energetic leaking to all the physical objects I have out in the world right now waiting for me to either let them go for good or reintegrate them into my life (Dad's things at my mom's and my cousins, things at the old house, things in the basement, etc.)  I look forward to bringing everything together and finally being able to make an informed decision about all the objects in my life.

I talk about the horror of the George Floyd murder and all the civil unrest, demonstrating and protesting that is going on in Milwaukee and around the country.  

I talk about how challenging remote learning has been and how the end of the school year has a real slog.   Both kids experienced have a lack of motivation that was really difficult to work around and navigate through.  I'm grateful for the teachers who kept reaching out and trying to engage them.  I'm happy the kids handed in final projects that reflected their talents and abilities.  And I'm thrilled school is over.

I talk about how I have been listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer on the Hay House Audio App and how much I am learning from him.  I revisited his Excuses Be Gone! book and was delighted to discover that he doesn't read from the book, but rather, Hay House used and Excuses Be Gone! weekend workshop as the audio.  It is far more comprehensive, informative and entertaining than I had planned on hearing.  I've learned a lot about the act of contemplating and more about excuses, how they show up in our minds, bodies and actions and how to eradicate them.  It's really important stuff.

I talk about Ken Wilbur's Actualize OS course that I'm taking  and I try to piece together what I've learned up until this point.  Right now I'm learning about Ken's definition of "Shadow Work" and how someone can develop either allergies or addictions in response to moving up a level, but leaving some portion of the previous level unfinished/unresolved.  I found this discovery most illuminating and helpful for understanding some things about myself and things about other people I know.  I also briefly mention his "3-2-1" exercise that he uses to reclaim these missing pieces of our development and resolve the attendant issues that accompany them.

I talk about the difference between masculine and feminine energies and how they might show up in a woman.  I discuss how I have spent the better part of the last year increasing my feminine energy in my body and how that has affected me.  I also discuss how feminine energy is maligned and looked down upon as the inferior way of being in our phallocentric world.

I talk about having this podcast and how nobody really listens to it.  I talk about whether or not it's really worth it to me to keep creating this podcast and decide that it is.  Basically, this podcast is recording in real time the advances I am making during one of the most challenging times in my life.  I am grateful for this record.  Previously, I have recorded my evolution in journals and on calendars, but here you can actually hear the energy and tone of my voice change as I become happier and more aligned with my purpose and the vibration of love.

I talk about my Knowledge Business Blueprint Accelerator Club (KBBAC) training in which I volunteered to be the moderator of a small group.  At first I was nervous and wondered why I spoke up, but as time went by, I realized that I was confident and capable of being fair, friendly and upbeat in this role.  I felt good about myself and the job I did, which, in turn, allowed me to deliver my presentation effectively and with minimal nerves.  After the call, I immediately did my KBBAC homework, which was to post another video to the FB page of me teaching my tool in under 5 minutes.  I had to record it twice, but I was able to get my time down.  I felt good about my work and posted very soon after the class ended.

I talk about how thinking through what makes the most sense for ME in MY life is key.  I can follow other coaches' and mentors' advice, but ultimately it's my decision how and what I implement.  By adopting my mentors' visions I am potentially relinquishing my own, which could result in something really wonderful remaining uncreated in the world.