Tell Me About Your Mother

Evan, Melissa, and Eli process Evan's recent experience being harassed by the police. Topics also include:

• Profiling
• Crime and punishment ideology
• Life-long record keeping 
• Escalation before de-escalation
• Cop incompetence

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Evan and Eli meet in video form for the first time-- available on Youtube! They use this hour to explore themes of:

• Conversion Therapy
• Emotional Residue from clients
• Counter-transferrence 

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• Parentified child impact in romantic relationships 
• Cultural differences fueling assumptions in friendship 
• DOS OS 
• How the dating sphere has changed with technology 
• You watched too many Disney movies 
• Culture of immediacy impeded on natural romantic development 
• The romantic spark is bullshit
• Dopamine dating 
• Are we marketing authenticity?
• Compatibility is found through mutual authentic marketing 
• Caretaking others reflects fear of rejection as opposed to caring for others 
• Evan’s soapbox grow up stop attaching previous  relationship experiences 
• Dating isn’t easy for men either
• New generation perceived pursuit as predatory 
• Evan shares his hinge profile with Eli and Melissa

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Evan and Eli join for another episode to explore how therapists can unintentionally assume understanding of clients' stories based on personal bias. They then explore the evolution of porn and its possible future implications on sexuality, dating, and identity.

• Only fans 
• AI becoming a sexual sphere 
• Sex dolls
• Specifically identifying the core 
• When we feel stuck 
• Men being “too nice” ripple of toxic masculinity 

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Evan, Meliisa, and Eli explore the a case that Melissa is processing. 

• A great resource from Dr. Nicole LePera helps us get started
• Parentified child case study 
• How are crises adaptive systemically?
• Reenactment between parent, peers, and therapist
• Caretaking to avoid self care
• Emphasizing choice with client archetypes that exhibit signs of learned helplessness
• "Mom anchors"-- a client's unintentional confession

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Evan, Melissa, and Eli discuss the intention of the podcast and ways to become more intentional in our discussions. 

• Melissa is our podcast mommy
• Incorporating the interpersonal supervision model into our conversations
• Chasing trends creates pop psychology and misinformation 
• The power of Free Association

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Evan and Eli practice behaving without Melissa being present for this episode. 

• What’s worth investigating with a client?
• Salem witch trials 
• Eli wants to try Ayahuasca  
• Being attracted to clients 
• Therapeutic flow state is healing 
• Ego blockading energy connections with nature and people 
• Spirituality in nature 
• Eli shares his "firecracker puppy" metaphor

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• Politically correct culture influencing dialogue in therapy
• Questions can evoke shame
• Moving with clients’ awareness
• When self-disclosure is therapeutic 
• Where are his balls?
• Treating infidelity
• Story revisions
• Fear memories have more salient reinforcements
• Having therapeutic relationships that span years 

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Melissa rejoins Evan and Eli. They quickly realize that Melissa is the mother of the group and helps "police" the episode content. This realization prompted Evan and Eli to explore the origins of foreskin shots.

• What are foreskin shots?
• Clients exposed to clinical media and come to therapy with inaccurate self-diagnoses 
• Incels on dating apps 
• Men, stop taking people to pound town all the time 
• Being sexualized on dating apps
• Is the first time with a partner a good litmus test?
• Performance anxiety 
• Porn addiction
• Purity culture
• Cults

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Evan and Eli are one-on-one for this episode. Within minutes they realize that Melissa represents a shadow mother figure in the podcast dynamic and that her absence allows for more dick jokes. Discussing the phallic qualities of their mic stands provides a bridge to a slightly more serious conversation: 

• “Sounding gay”
• Southern sayings 
• Family therapy 
• Intervening in a family system 
• Garden gnome drunk
• Love pats instead of spankings 
• Fast routes to treating core elements of clients
• Saying unconventional things to clients to diffuse and restructure conversations
• Old men becoming softer
• I’d be a bad father if I was warm and loving 
• Our questions are often a projection of ourselves 
• Revictimization of trauma experiences in institutions that are needing data to funding and reimbursements
• Evan tells a kid to punch a hole in the wall

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