Susan, your host, welcomes Geri Reid Suster to today’s episode. Geri has 30 years of experience in business and management, specializing in acquisitions and creating operational excellence. This experience was gained by starting in an entry-level position at a directory publishing company and working her way up to Chief Operating Officer in the same field during a period of great consolidation in the industry. Known for building an outstanding work culture, Geri now consults with business owners seeking to do the same.

Personally, Geri has been living a nomad lifestyle since 2017, first in a 33' RV named Wallace and more recently, in a self-converted Sprinter Van dubbed Wufgang. She is the proud mom of two adult sons and spends much of her time in the Pacific Northwest among the trees. Geri is the author of Graceful Exits: Making the Case for Getting Good at Goodbye, where she explores a variety of exits, both personal and professional, from her own life and others to reveal what methods fail us and what methods allow us to flourish.

Key Takeaways:

• Geri shares her grief story by speaking about the loss of her parents, one sudden and the other anticipated.

• Geri talks about how to increase your chances of having a graceful exit.

• When accompanying a grieving person, you really just need to open up and hold space for his/her suffering.

• You can lead and show up however you want, but you can’t control what others do.

• To protect the last precious moments of someone’s life, boundaries need to be set with some family members. This is a beautiful way of honoring the person that is leaving.

• Geri dives deep into the concept of boundary-setting.

• You don’t have to enact “Performative grief.”

• How do you show up to a widow? Don’t ask them how they are doing (that’s an impossible question, if they are having a good day, they feel guilty about it, and if they have a bad day, they might not want to go through that) Try: “I am thinking about you”, “I have this memory that I wanted to share with you.”

• Ask yourself, “What would he/she tell?” when you need that special someone who is no longer there with you.

• You can do whatever you want, as long as it is authentic and comes from the right reasons.

• Remember: Grief is personal, and no one grieves the same way. There are resources, you don’t have to do it alone. There is so much beauty in going through the experience of passing from living to dying.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Geri Reid Suster

Graceful Exits: Making the Case for Getting Good at Goodbye

Visit Graceful Life

Follow Geri on Instagram 

Email Geri at [email protected]

Susan, your host, welcomes Michelle Ann Collins to today’s episode. Michelle is the founder of Inhabit Joy, where she partners with individuals who have suffered grief, injury, or other types of loss as they recover, reclaim their wholeness, and build resilience for life’s inevitable challenges.

After a series of losses, including the death of her mother, her husband’s suicide, and continued estrangements from primary family members, Michelle combined the tools she had collected as a yoga therapist and wellness coach and studies in positive psychology, neuroscience, meditation and mindfulness, and spirituality to turn post-traumatic stress disorder into post-traumatic growth and resilience. With the addition of a certification in grief education and several bestselling books in which she shares her story, Michelle is helping others transform from barely surviving to joyful thriving.

Key Takeaways:

• Michelle shares her grief story when the love of her life died by suicide.

• Losing someone to suicide is a completely different grief.

• Guilt is involved in every death, even more in one that resulted from suicide.

• Thinking “If only” gives you absolutely nothing, you can’t change what happened.

• Suffering happens in the space between where you are and where you want to be.

• Demystifying through the obituary, starting to talk openly about suicide.

• There are parts of society that believe that suicide is a sin.

• Change the term “committed” suicide to died by suicide.

• Let’s talk about death more, we need to be better educated about it.

• Let go of the why.

• Michelle talks about her books and her mission as a Joy Spreader.

• Train for grief so that when you are faced with it, you will be ready.

• Michelle advises: You don’t have to do everything all at once. Take care of yourself, and be your best friend. Get help!

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Michelle Ann Collins

Visit Inhabit Joy

Surviving Spouse or Partner Suicide Loss: A Mindful Guide for Your Journey Through Grief, by Michelle Ann Collins

Supporting a Survivor of Spouse or Partner Suicide Loss: A Mindful Guide for Co-journeying Through Grief, by Michelle Ann Collins

Susan, your host, welcomes Kevin O’Connor to today’s episode. Kevin published Two Floors Above Grief in 2022; his prior writings include personal letters, dissertations, articles, and anthologies, and he provides training at universities and professional settings. Kevin resides in Fort Lauderdale with his husband, Leon, and their family includes five sons and seven granddaughters.

Key Takeaways:

• Kevin shares his grief story, which started when he lost his father.

• Kevin’s family worked as an undertaker at a funeral home, but that didn’t make it any easier to process his father’s death (even in some way might have made it harder).

• Kevin shares the last conversation he had with his father.

• People often have conversations with those who have passed.

• You figure out your life without the one you lost; it’s like losing a limb in an accident, you will never forget about it, and you will learn to live differently.

• There is always a choice (even when it feels there isn’t any).

• Kevin advises embracing each feeling and making space for the following.

• Kevin shares what motivated him to write Two Floors Above Grief.

• The value of communication today is certainly different from 50 years ago.

• Life and death go on simultaneously.

• Share your stories, there are treasures in them; you don’t have to be an author to transmit them.

• Remember that sometimes what seems like the end is also a beginning.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet

Two Floors Above Grief: A Memoir of Two Families in the Unique Place We Called Home, by Kevin O’Connor

Visit Kevin’s Website

Check Kevin’s more recent newsletter

Marv Weidner lives in the beautiful, mountainous Gunnison Valley of Western Colorado and volunteers with Living Journeys, a local not-for-profit organization providing services and support to cancer patients and their families and caregivers. He is a proud father and grandfather to his and Marty’s children.

Marv’s book, When the Rocks Sing, places the voice of a man who lost his beloved wife to cancer side-by-side with the perspective of the grief counselor who walked the road of rebuilding and resiliency with him. It addresses a variety of topics, such as harnessing resiliency, facing grief head-on, embracing loss as an integral part of life, staying present in the midst of trauma, listening in healthy ways, reaffirming or discovering a new sense of purpose, and much more.

Key Takeaways:

• Marv shares his grief story that began when he lost his beloved wife.

• Susan and Marv talk about how much they took advantage of the time they had with their partners before they passed away, their relationships got deeper and more intimate as a result of sharing this final stage of life on Earth.

• Ask yourself: Who do you want to be when you get to the other side of grief?

• Resilience: The ability to come back after a hard strike from life.

• Marv’s purpose in life is to live with an open heart.

• Marv allows the feelings of sadness to show since he realized that when he tries to suppress the emotion, this sadness stayed longer with him.

• Remember, you always have a choice (even when it doesn’t look like it).

• Marv realized he needed to get back into the world, he decided to travel, and he called this trip his “Resiliency Tour.”

• Our loved ones are part of us at a cellular level, which is why it is not uncommon to feel pain at a physical level when we lose those we love the most.

• Marv talks about his book: When Rocks Sing.

• Marv wishes that grieving people can benefit from his story, feeling that they are not alone and receiving a different way of thinking about resiliency as a main aspect of grieving.

• Prepare your Grievers toolbox, including as many things that make you feel better and propel you forward in any possible way (even if it is small).

• Believe in yourself! You can repurpose and redefine your life.

• Marv realizes he became a better human being after being loved by his wife and also as a result of grieving her.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Marv Weidner

You can find When the Rocks Sing at Ballast Books and Barnes and Noble

Susan, your host, is joined by Barbara Kenyon in today’s episode. Barbara knows what it is like to be widowed twice. The first time was after nine years of marriage when her firstborn child was only two months old, Barbara’s beautiful husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and he died eight weeks later. Barbara’s world came crashing down. She had to face the fact that her new life together with her husband and her son would never come to be, Through counseling and with the support of family, friends, and other widows, Barbara learned how to navigate the enormous challenges of widowhood, she learned how to take really good care of herself, she gained great clarity about what she wanted for her life, ultimately she courageously took the leap into dating again, and five years later she married Allan Kenyon, who at that time was the love of her life. For the following 30 years, with a solid background and counseling and coaching, Barbara had been helping widows, and widowers find joy and purpose in their lives. Suddenly and unexpectedly, her sweet Allan passed away in July, and Barbara was widowed once more. This time, she faced widowhood with the experience and maturity she didn’t have the first time. In today’s episode, Barbara shares some of her best tips for navigating widowhood and living your best life and references the motivational book Barbara and Allan wrote together, Fire Up Your Life Now: 25 Secrets for Creating the Life You Really Want.

Key Takeaways:

• Susan shares an important message for listeners.

• Barbara shares her grief story.

• Dating as a widow is fundamentally different from dating at another moment.

• Barbara talks about how common it is for widows to place their spouses who passed on a high pedestal; if they don’t accept them as they were, grieving and dating again will be tougher.

• Step 1 when you are dating, proceed with caution with any divorced man, make sure he has found peace with that relationship.

• Three aspects can shift your dating energy: Be authentically you, know what you are open to, and ask for what you need.

• Barbara tells the story of how she met Allan.

• Susan talks about her dating experience and how she recently met someone special.

• Barbara describes the seven-step process for widows to start dating again and find what they want.

• Barbara talks about the biggest challenges that widows and widowers have entering the dating world.

• It takes perseverance to find the right person.

• Don’t settle for anything; if you sense something is wrong, listen to your intuition. The little things now become the big ones later.

• When a relationship is right, it is easy!

• Barbara shares the reason why she is dedicated to helping widows and widowers date again.

• Barbara emphasizes the importance of focusing on the present moment.

• You grieve the way you live.

• Trust your gut and remember you can become the best version of yourself.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Barabara Kenyon

Fire Up Your Life Now: 25 Secrets for Creating the Life You Really Want, by Allan and Barbara Kenyon

After Widowhood: The Secret to Finding True Love Again, by Barbara Kenyon 

Widows Dating Coach

Susan, your host, is joined by Kara Bowman in today’s episode. Kara is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has advanced certifications in Grief Counseling, Trauma Therapy, and Thanatology, which is the study of death and dying. She also volunteers with Hospice of Santa Cruz County and trains others to work with those in grief. She has written a book called Heartbreak to Hope: Poems of Support for Grief and Loss.

Key Takeaways:

• Kara shares her grief story.

• We need to honor each loss differently.

• We live in a culture that encourages people to hide negative emotions and overvalues positive feelings.

• People don’t like to see us grieving.

• Kara shares a short poem she wrote: 

Love

Take good care of your precious pain 

Wrap your strong arms around it

hold it against your warm chest

Rock it gently, telling it softly that it is loved,

it is needed, it is important,

it makes perfect sense, 

and love it, just as it is, in all of its agonizing beauty.

• Intensity creates posttraumatic growth.

• Grief never goes away, it just shifts shapes.

• Kara talks about her role as a counselor.

• Susan lost her father when she was a child, and grief was never addressed.

• Kara talks about how developmental trauma unfolds.

• You can ask a grieving person: What is it like for you right now?

• Kara talks about her inspiration to write her book of poems.

Your Life

What are you going to do with your house?

Now that the foundation has crumbled

Are you going to let it decay while time and weather carry it toward the grave?

or are you going to rebuild more magnificently a palace that wouldn't have been possible without the footprint of the one that came before?

• There is nothing wrong about grieving, nothing to fix; it is another aspect of love. Just sit there with grief.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Kara Bowman

Hope: Poems of Support for Grief and Loss, Kara Bowman.

Grief Poetry griefpoetry.com

Learn more about Kara

Susan, your host, welcomes Sarah Miller to today’s episode. Sarah is a Royal Air Force veteran, turned Physical Therapist Assistant, turned Well-being Coach. She is currently in the process of setting up her own business, specifically coaching people who have unexpectedly lost a loved one and have been part of a traumatic experience. With a fierce passion, she states that her mission is to help people transform alongside adversity.

Through her own experience and interaction with many others in support groups, Sarah has seen first-hand the devastating effect adversity has on a person’s way of being, including their health. Whether during the initial crisis or many years beyond, she has repeatedly heard stories from people 10, 20, and 30 years beyond their adversity who continue to live in the shadow of their heart-breaking circumstances. This motivated Sarah to help them through their grief journey.

Key Takeaways:

• Sarah shares her grief story that began when her daughter drowned.

• One day you wake up living your everyday life and end your day in a nightmare, we really don’t know what comes next, there is no balance or “justice” that is granted.

• Making peace with your grief is the only effective way to move forward.

• Sarah shares how it was to live with self-blame and guilt.

• Sarah highlights the value of recognizing suffering and accepting that vulnerability is part of the human experience.

• Grief redefines your identity.

• Sarah talks about how her coaching role developed and became what it is today.

• Grief impacts all your body systems. It is so easy to neglect yourself when you are grieving.

• Stop and ask yourself: What do I need right now?

• Follow four criteria to give feedback: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? (and the fourth: is it kind?)

• Being authentic with yourself is the first step to honoring your needs and accepting your grieving and all the feelings involved in the process.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are, by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell 

Meet Sarah Miller

Well Shine Coaching

Susan, your host, is accompanied by Francine Ivey in today’s episode. Francine’s heart and mission are to inspire and encourage the church, to bring those far from God into a passionate walk with Him, and to show the world through her testimony that Jesus is real and has a purpose and plan for each life. She desires for people to know that we can live beyond our circumstances, withstand the storms that come our way, and conquer the giants that taunt us! Many struggle with questions like, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” And “How can a loving God allow so much pain?” Francine tackles these questions while using her own heartbreak in a real and down-to-earth conversation.

Key Takeaways:

• Francine shares her grief story that started on what looked like a really good day.

• Everything changed after receiving the notice that her husband was dead. Time split for her into before and after that moment in time.

• There is a belief system about God favoring good people, which is why people always wonder why bad things happen to good people.

• “Why” and ‘“What ifs” are questions that stayed on repeat in Francine’s mind.

• As a religious person, it was odd for Francine to respond to grief as she did.

• Reframe your “What ifs” into positive possibilities for the future: “What if I am going to be OK on the other side of this?” “What if I find my purpose and was able to go out and help people?”

• Francine and her children dislike the idea of “moving on” and prefer better “What now?” Finding a new purpose doesn’t mean forgetting her husband and the father of her children.

• Susan shares how she resented God since she and her husband had built a lovely family. They have worked for it and were so grateful for it; it was just not fair for Paul to die when he did.

• Francine talks about her frustration seeing everyone living normally when her whole life was torn apart.

• Francine talks about her work helping people on their grief journeys.

• Francine shares a special moment where she realized there was no way to replace her husband, that God was the one that had sent him to her life, and His love was always there.

• Many people will feel uncomfortable with your grief but remember: It is OK not to feel OK.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Francine Ivey

Visit Consumed by the Call

Follow Francine on Facebook

Susan, your host, welcomes Jen Thomas, Intuitive Business Coach, and Healer, to today’s episode.

Jen is a leader and advocate of working with emotions in business. She was invited to give her TEDx talk, “Putting Emotion Back in Business,” inspiring others to lead with love, kindness, and compassion. Jen is an intuitive coach and spiritual mentor who helps business owners to access their inner wisdom by working with their emotions to clear blocks and create crystal-clear strategies for success.

After receiving guidance in 2019 to take her business online, Jen took the leap of faith required and tripled her business in 2020.

Key Takeaways:

• Jen shares her grief story.
• Jen experienced a whole level of grief she did not know existed.
• Grieving her father gave Jen a different perspective on herself as a person, how she valued her self-worth, and who she truly was (and even her place in the world).
• No one prepares us for grief.
• When we are ready, going through grief can be an enlightening experience.
• Susan shares the darkest part of her grief and the beginning of her healing once she imposed on herself the task of writing a gratitude journal (that only made her angrier when she started).
• Jen confesses she wasn’t expecting to grieve all over again years later.
• Jen talks about the healing power of nature and how it helps us to be more present.
• Jen’s core value in her business and world is love.
• Susan and Jen discuss the recurrent question: “What is the purpose?” 
• Jen advises practicing conscious breathing, being in your body, and feeling that breath of life.
• Connect with nature, stay outside, and slow down; nature will find you.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Jen Thomas

Work with Jen: Free group for soul-led business people on Facebook, Instagram.

Nature's Wisdom: The Story of the River & the Rock on Never Giving Up, by Jen Thomas

Listen to Jen’s TEDx Talk: “Putting Emotions Back in Business”

Ruth is the mother of the late Dan Markel, a noted law professor who was murdered in Tallahassee, Florida, in 2014.

Ruth is the author of The Unveiling: A Mother’s Reflection on Murder, Grief, and Trial Life, where she describes her experiences since the day of Dan’s death from several distinct perspectives. 

As a devastated mother with the unique human perspective of becoming a homicide survivor and victim. As a woman whose attempts to achieve normalcy and live a healthy life are continually interrupted by painful reminders, a rollercoaster of hearings, frequently changing trial dates, verdicts, and appeals. As an engaged citizen, using what she has learned to help other victims of homicide and violent crimes recover from trauma and begin an optimistic outlook on life. As an insider who shows how our collective network of family, friends, and experts — including a murder coach — have helped her family remain involved, motivated, and hopeful. As a grandmother who had not been allowed to see her grandchildren in many years, she used advocacy to inspire the Florida State Legislature to pass a grandparent visitation bill. And as an experienced author of nine books using the written word to address the shift from grief to promise effectively.

Key Takeaways:

• Ruth shares her grief story.
• Ruth explains the concept of the Unveiling that finds its roots in Jewish tradition.
• Ruth talks about their grief experience, one that is never going to end.
• Susan talks about the “sneaky pockets of grief.”
• Ruth talks about the characteristics of going through complicated grief.
• Ruth speaks of her book The Unveiling: A Mother's Reflection on Murder, Grief, and Trial Life.
• Ruth talks about the motive for her son’s murder.
• Ruth talks about her suffering as a grandmother who wasn’t allowed to see her grandchildren.
• You have to pay attention to the gifts you receive in life.
• Ruth shares how she advocated for grandparents’ visitation right and reached “The Markel Act.”
• Ruth advises those who have lost someone due to a traumatic death: What is going on in your inner mind has to be edited sometimes.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Ruth Markel

The murder of Dan Markel has attracted a great deal of media coverage — 20/20 and Dateline have covered the story and Wondery’s podcast on the case Over My Dead Body, had over 10 million downloads.