Tentpole Trauma

Coming off of the 2007 remake of Halloween, hopes were high that auteur director and rocker Rob Zombie would deliver another pumpkin-smashing hit. But few were keen on the radical re-invention of iconic slasher Michael Myers, the proliferation of white trash hysterics and the addition of bizarre symbolic imagery. That said, could there be an artistic method to this blood-drenched madness? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they get down and dirty in the sleaze, brutality and gonzo pretentiousness of Rob Zombie’s Halloween II.

John Carpenter’s low budget smash Halloween set the pace for early 80s horror, and after a successful sequel audiences were primed for more of lead slasher Michael Myers. So it came as an unwelcome shock when the Myers-less Halloween III Season of the Witch took a different and decidedly bizarre sci fi approach, one roundly rejected by critics and fans. But is this a mean-spirited trick or a misunderstood treat? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy as they kick off the festival of Samhain by carving into this bugnuts cult classic.

Riding the sci fi wave started by Star Wars and Alien, the success of Saturn 3 seemed written in the stars. But despite the presence of 1980’s hottest pinup Farrah Fawcett and screen legend Kirk Douglas, Stanley Donen’s take on space horror crashed and burned with critics and  audiences. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and screenwriter Marc Gottlieb as they disassemble this celestial Frankenstein’s monster to see if there are parts worth salvaging.

A fantasy film helmed by Muppets maestro Jim Henson, starring and featuring music by rock sensation David Bowie, produced by Star Wars creator George Lucas, should have been a box office smash. Yet when the cinematic fruit of this collaborative powerhouse debuted in the summer of 1986, the puppet-heavy affair had all the audience appeal of a poison apple. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they get lost in the Labyrinth and ponder the riddle as to why this now beloved filmic fairy tale failed.

Expectations were high for the big budget adaptation of the blockbuster Ubisoft video game, and with Michael Fassbender in the starring role, Assassin’s Creed was poised to kill at the box office. But despite some thrilling visuals audiences and critics did not take to the confounding plot and mythology, and the Creed met with resounding defeat. Join Sebastian, Steve and Rodney as they take the leap of faith to determine what went wrong with this strangely fascinating 2016 misfire.

The Batman film franchise was operating at peak bat-power following  director Joel Schumacher’s smash hit Batman Forever, and with new caped  crusader George Clooney in the cowl and superstar Arnold Schwarzenegger chillin’ like a villain as Mr. Freeze, Batman & Robin was poised for world domination. But the film’s over-the-top camp proved too much for fans, critics and general audiences, a frosty reception that changed the course of the franchise and the approach to comic book films forever. Join Sebatman, Steve and Jennifer as they thaw out one of cinema’s most notorious disasters to see if there’s anything in this garish Gotham worth saving.

The prospect of geek idol Edgar Wright tackling an adaptation of Brian Lee O’Malley’s hit indie comic had nerds salivating in the late oughts and hoping for a franchise. But despite strong critical notices and a stacked cast of up-and-comers that included Michael Cera at the peak of his fame, the gonzo video game/anime/indie rock mashup was KO’d at the box office. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they take on seven evil exes to determine why Scott Pilgrim vs The World bob-ombed.

Despite the talents of Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford and visionary director Denis Villeneuve, the long-planned sequel to Ridley Scott’s dystopian classic crashed and burned when it landed at the box office in 2017. Critics lauded the great performances and dazzling visuals, so where did it all go wrong? Join Sebastian, Chris and Troy as they get back to baseline and ponder the perplexing failure of Blade Runner 2049.

Despite its massive cultural footprint and influence over the look of modern blockbuster cinema, Ridley Scott’s sci fi neo-noir epic Blade Runner was not a smash hit when it landed in 1982. The film boasted top notch special effects, jaw-dropping production design and the presence of newly minted superstar Harrison Ford, so why were audiences not initially dazzled? Join more human than human hosts Sebastian, Chris and Troy as they put this now celebrated masterpiece to the empathy test.