When you hear the phrase after stroke recovery, what comes to mind? For some, it means the early days in hospital learning to walk again. For others, it’s the first year at home trying to rebuild daily routines. But for Terry Gilstead, recovery didn’t end after a year, five years, or even ten. More than three decades later, she’s still finding new ways to heal, adapt, and live with strength.

Terry’s story reminds us that recovery is not a finish line. It’s a lifelong journey of resilience, patience, and unexpected transformation.

At just 37 years old, Terry was six and a half months pregnant when she suffered a stroke caused by antiphospholipid syndrome — a condition that thickens the blood. She had been active, full of energy, and working toward her master’s degree in administration. Then, everything changed.

Her stroke left her with paralysis on her right side and aphasia, making it nearly impossible to speak. In the midst of ICU stays, near-death experiences, and even early labor scares, she had to navigate the unthinkable — protecting her unborn son while fighting for her own life.

Despite the odds, Terry delivered a healthy baby boy in December 1991. But she returned to rehab without him, facing weeks of separation, pain, and the reality of life with new deficits.

Like many survivors, Terry battled depression. She felt trapped in a body that no longer worked as before. Speech was painfully slow, and movement on her right side seemed impossible.

She even admitted to God that she was ready to die. Yet, her family — her husband, daughters, and newborn son — became powerful reasons to keep going.

“Every time someone told me I couldn’t do something, I said, ‘Watch me.’”

This defiant spirit became a turning point.

Just eight months after her stroke, Terry returned to her classroom. She relied on scripts, lesson notes, and creative teaching strategies. She integrated her rehab into her teaching — having students move their arms, practice cross-body activities, and engage with material in new ways.

Though her voice often gave out by midday, her persistence inspired both students and colleagues. She proved that after stroke recovery isn’t just about regaining what you lost — it’s about creating new ways to thrive.

Before her stroke, Terry described herself as spiritual — more Zen than religious, open to many traditions. Afterward, she struggled with anger toward God. For seven years, she couldn’t reconcile why she had survived only to live with deficits.

But with time, her perspective shifted. Recovery softened her outlook, allowing her to reconnect with faith and gratitude. That spiritual healing became as important as the physical therapy.

Today, more than 32 years later, Terry is still in recovery. Balance issues have returned as she nears 70, but instead of giving up, she goes back to rehab. She uses exercise balls, resistance bands, and stair training to stay strong.

Her story underscores a vital truth: recovery doesn’t end. Progress is possible at every stage — even decades later.

“Don’t ever think you won’t get something back. Recovery continues — you just have to find your way to it.” – Terry Gilstead

After stroke recovery isn’t a destination. It’s a lifelong process of growth, healing, and adaptation. Terry Gilstead’s story shows us that no matter how much time has passed, there’s always room for progress.

If you’re on this journey, remember: you’re not alone, and it’s never too late to reclaim something new.

For more stories of resilience, check out my book The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan.

After stroke recovery never really ends. Terry Gilstead’s journey proves that patience and resilience can transform life after a stroke.

Support The Recovery After Stroke Podcast on Patreon

Highlights:

00:00 Terri Gilstad’s Introduction and Background
04:44 Out-of-Body to 27 Years On: Terri’s Long Stroke Journey
10:38 Near-Death: Terri’s ICU Revelation
18:40 The Stroke and Initial Hospitalization
22:39 Returning to Normalcy and Teaching
38:50 Long-Term Recovery and Personal Growth
44:36 Impact and Purpose of Sharing Her Story

Transcript:

Bill Gasiamis 0:00
Hi, it’s Bill from Recovery After Stroke. Before we get into today’s episode, I wanted to thank everyone who’s been supporting the show. To those of you on Patreon. Your contributions help me cover the cost of producing this podcast after more than 10 years of doing it on my own. If you’re able to support the show in this way too, you can go to patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke to find out more.

Bill Gasiamis 0:23
Thanks also to the people leaving reviews on Apple podcasts and Spotify the YouTube commenters who keep the conversation alive, and everyone who has bought my book The unexpected way that a stroke became the best thing that happened, even those who stick with the ads you’re helping keep this show going for other survivors who need hope. Today’s guest is Terri Gilstad.

Bill Gasiamis 0:45
At just 37 and six months pregnant, she had a stroke that left her paralyzed on her right side and unable to speak. What followed was not only the birth of her son, but also decades of continuous recovery, a story of patience, persistence and her unforgettable watch me spirit and before we dive in, a big thank you to Banksia tech for supporting this episode. They’re the proud distributors of the Hanson rehab glove.

Bill Gasiamis 1:11
So Rebo, this glove is designed to help stroke survivors improve hand function at home, whether you’re early in recovery or years down the road, you’ll hear more about it later in the episode. Terri Gilstad, welcome to the podcast.

Terri Gilstad 1:25
Thank you very much. I’m glad to be here.

Bill Gasiamis 1:28
Tell me, what was life like before stroke for you?

Terri Gilstad 1:33
Okay, I don’t know if you can see it, but this page that I’m showing you is it’s a page of pictures that was of me before the stroke, and I was just in a new relationship with my current husband, and I was really big at skiing and doing things with my daughters. I was really good. As far as I had real big drive. I was type A personality. I really felt that I was ready to get into my masters.

Bill Gasiamis 2:17
So you wanted to get your Masters in what field?

Terri Gilstad 2:20
I was going to get my masters in administration, and liked to I was a person that liked to do really different things, and I was the first person in my school that was working with cooperative groups, and I had all My cooperative groups set up in my classroom, and it was working out really, really well. So I went home and was feeling like I had had a headache, a migraine headache all day long.

Terri Gilstad 2:54
And I was sitting there thinking, Okay, this is the time that I get to get my daughters down, everything will be fine, or whatever, and then I would go to bed and wake up in the morning with the headache gone. And it kind of didn’t work out like.

Bill Gasiamis 3:12
So what was causing the headache?

Terri Gilstad 3:15
The headache was caused by my blood thickening up. I have anti phospholipid syndrome, which I never knew anything about until after the stroke and the the the way it worked, was something that it always gave me a migraine headache, and probably a lot of just my I had really blurry vision and had like wavy lines in front of my vision or whatever.

Bill Gasiamis 3:51
So how little were the children you were 37 how little were the children.

Terri Gilstad 3:56
The children in my class were eight, eight years old? What about your children? My children, my oldest was almost, I think she was nine, and my middle daughter was, I think eight. They’re 14 and a half months apart, so, but that was the ages of my children. So then I woke up in the middle of the night thinking, you know, something’s not right about, you know, all this stuff. And I said, you know, and I woke up my husband, and I said, Would you please call my doctor and also call an ambulance? Because I think I better go in with this.

Bill Gasiamis 4:44
It has been 27 years, yes, and you’re still kind of living with the effects, the impact, the deficits that stroke created. Mm, hmm. On the day of the stroke, what were your first thoughts when you were diagnosed as having had a stroke? Did you go through that process in your mind?

Terri Gilstad 5:10
I did not know that I had a stroke. I just I was I remember going to the emergency room, being taken over to a CAT scan, having a CAT scan done, nothing was unusual about it, because I was, you know, behaving like everybody else would behave, I guess. And then they took me back into the emergency room, and my doctor was there, and he said, you know, he talked with the other people that were there and reading the scan. And they said it doesn’t appear that she’s gone through anything, which I know I was one of those people that never thought about a stroke or whatever.

Terri Gilstad 5:50
So I didn’t realize that it would probably take a few hours for that to start showing up on the prints or whatever. So I was there. I was talking to a lady there in the room who was one of the mothers of one of my students at the time, and she was like, how are you? And I’m just like, you don’t, don’t know what’s going on. And and I asked her if I could go to the bathroom, and she said, why don’t we give you a catheter first. And I was like, okay, whatever. That is, whatever. And I remember saying, I really feel tired. I just, I think, I’m just going to go to sleep.

Terri Gilstad 6:32
And everybody was like, Fine, go to sleep. And when I woke up the next morning, my I was in the ICU, and my husband was beside no not yet, not at the time I woke up and I was in ICU, at the hospital that I was at in Royal Palm Beach, and they were calling my husband from Shands. My husband had been in touch with my sister and her husband, who were up at Shands hospital, the teaching hospital there, and they decided that they were going to fly me up there. So we were waiting for the plane to land, and then I was going to be taken out.

Terri Gilstad 7:13
But I realized at that point in time, though I couldn’t talk to my husband, and my entire right side of my body was completely paralyzed. I mean, I could feel, I feel if somebody touched me, but I couldn’t lift my arm up. I couldn’t lift my leg up. My face was quite just very, very desperately, yes, very much. And so it was like, but nobody had told me at that time that I had had a stroke, so they flew me up to Shands, took me up and put me in the ICU at Shands.

Terri Gilstad 7:52
And it was like, I didn’t really notice that, you know, I was like, what’s going on or whatever, but I couldn’t say, you know, somebody tell me what’s going on, because I couldn’t get any words out. But it was a really interesting time, because during that time, I kept on going out, and that was when I would go out of my body and look down and see my body on this table. And I was sitting there thinking, you know, this is strange, but, you know, this must be the time that I’m supposed to be going or whatever.

Terri Gilstad 8:30
But, you know, I’ve got a baby. I didn’t tell everybody, but I was six and a half months pregnant at the time, and I was sitting there saying, what’s going on with this, you know, just what’s happening. And they kept, you know, just then I was like, all of a sudden, I felt the calm this. I felt the most unbelievable calm moment. I can’t even describe it. It’s just so incredible. I’m not afraid to die, I’m afraid of death. I’m not afraid of death, but I am afraid to die. So I was sitting there and I was thinking, you know, I was the whole time this was happening.

Terri Gilstad 9:14
I had my complete thinking ability. And I was sitting there thinking, you know what’s going on. And I think I, you know, I’m supposed to be going up to God or whatever. I’m going to be doing there, whatever I was like, doing some Zen with my sister. My other sister was a Zen practitioner, and I thought, you know, I don’t think I want to be here, and I don’t want to leave my husband just having to be with a woman that is just, I mean, it was like I was a half a person I and so I was sitting there thinking, Okay, God, you know you’re, you’re going to be able to take me.

Terri Gilstad 9:55
And then my sister, the doctor, came into the room, and she said, I. Have you she said that she was holding a picture. It was a sonogram of my child. And I was like, there was a baby in there that was waving his hand. It was like, Is this baby saying hello to me. This is wonderful. So I was sitting there saying, this is okay. It’s going to be me and I’m going to be okay. And my son wasn’t about to be born until January. He wasn’t scheduled to be due until January, and this is, like, October 31 and I was like, you know, I think that he’ll be okay.

Terri Gilstad 10:38
If I, you know, have to pass away, or whatever they can deliver him, they’ll take care of him. Everything will be fine. And then I would go out, and I’d go back through this thing, and I was out of my body that I was feeling like I was a part of an entire group. And I never thought about I, I always thought about we. And it was like, you know, they, they say that when you die, you you go out, you become one with the whole group of whatever we are, we the beings that were up there, and he or Maya thing was, I was sitting there saying, okay, it’s okay.

Terri Gilstad 11:23
I’m going to die or whatever, but it’s going to be alright because my husband’s going to be there. Well, my parents both came. My sister came down. My other sister was there at the time, and I was just like, I was ready. I was going to go. I was and then my sister said, you can’t go right now. And I said, like, and she said, You we have to stay and keep you here longer, because the the baby is not going to make it or whatever, and so we have to make you stay here.

Terri Gilstad 11:54
And so I thought, okay, maybe that’s why God isn’t taking me. I’m having to stay wait until it’s time to have the baby or whatever, and then I can die.

Bill Gasiamis 12:06
We’ll be back with more of Terri’s remarkable story in just a moment. I wanted to take a second to thank Banksia tech, who are supporting this episode. They bring stroke survivors The Hanson rehab glove by saribo, a soft robotic glove that helps you retrain hand movement at home. It also helps retrain grip and flexibility. It’s practical, it’s effective, and it can make a real difference no matter where you are in your recovery.

Bill Gasiamis 12:32
And the best part, you can order it right here in Australia and Banksia tech can ship it internationally too. I love being able to share tools like this with my listeners, because they solve real problems that survivors face every day. Now let’s get back to Terri’s journey, including what it was like to return to the classroom with Aphasia just months after her stroke.

Terri Gilstad 12:53
And I was like, I cut completely, like I really felt that I was going to be okay or whatever. And so I, like, I was in the ICU for three weeks, and they said, you know, whatever you feel like doing, just go ahead and do it. And I thought, well, I wanted to die, but and so then I thought, Okay, I’m not gonna die. I’m gonna have this baby or whatever. And they said, you have three weeks that you’re gonna stay here a chance.

Terri Gilstad 13:29
And I thought, okay, and I knew I couldn’t talk, so I thought that’s one week for me to get that my power up speech, because I was known as the mouth of the south and they arranged to have me move down here to St Mary’s Hospital. That was the only hospital that they had down here at the time that had a pediatric neon neonatologist. Wow. And they said, you know, it was okay, because I could be with her, or whatever, that she would be around. Whatever started happen. It all started taking place. But so I, we got moved down, and I was put in a room with another woman.

Terri Gilstad 14:15
And the lady, I don’t know she, she had something different going on with her, but it was like, and I was sitting there, you know, just crying the whole time. I couldn’t control my emotions at all. I was just crying, crying, crying, crying. And so they decided to put me into a room by myself. And so I went into the room by myself, and I was just, you know, lying in the bed, and just, you know, wondering what was going to happen. And they brought me a book, and it was one of those books, like a, not a harlequin, but it’s some type of a book that I would just be reading, or whatever.

Terri Gilstad 14:53
And I could read it. I could read it to myself, but then I couldn’t remember. Were what I had read. So it was like, I always had to start over again, and I’d be able to read those pages faster, and then go a few more pages and get tired. And, you know, it was a very and I don’t remember what the book was.

Bill Gasiamis 15:14
So, yeah, wow.

Terri Gilstad 15:19
It was interesting.

Bill Gasiamis 15:20
You’re in, ICU, you’re six months pregnant, and then you eventually came out of ICU. How long did it take? Yes, I did come out of ICU.

Terri Gilstad 15:30
They kept me in ICU, up in at Shands for a week, and then they put me in, Oops, excuse me. They put me in a room by myself, that it was like I was there was not a regular hospital room, but it was a room where they had like a step up from that they would know that I was in there and I wasn’t a person who could speak to them. So people came in and spoke with me a lot.

Terri Gilstad 15:59
So it was really strange, you know, they were trying to get me to talk, and I was getting a little bit better, but it was still like, you know, it’s very strange to be a person who is used to be such a very fast talker or whatever, to have to sit there and think, Okay, I’m going to answer this question that They just put to me or whatever, but I have to figure out how to get the words out of my mouth and and my vocal cords and all were I’m halfway paralyzed or whatever. So that was a little bit more difficult.

Terri Gilstad 16:35
But at the same time, it was like was sitting there and I was trying to do physical therapy, trying to do the occupational therapy, having a wonderful time. You know, I do everything with my right side, and they tell me, okay, now with my left side, left side, then my right side, I couldn’t do anything. It was like an they had me standing up. I’d stand up and they have me throwing this basketball, and then they wanted me to throw it with my right arm. And I was like, that’s not going to work, or whatever. So they had decided to monitor me.

Terri Gilstad 17:15
And so I guess it was probably, it was probably maybe the middle of November that I had gotten back down there, or whatever. And so they were monitoring me with a thing. And I thought, you’re not going to put group you stuff on, you know, anything. It was a sonogram. And she said, Are you feeling strange? And I was like, no. And she said, because you’re like having contractions every four minutes. And they said, so I got to be discharged from the rehab, taken down. Had to be admitted to the maternity ward.

Terri Gilstad 18:00
They took me in, gave me enough medicine that I couldn’t see straight, much less try to talk or whatever. But it took them about 24 hours to get the labor stopped. And then they said, okay, you’re okay. And I was like, yeah, okay. So I had to get just discharged from the maternity, take him back up to the rehab, admitted to the rehab, and it was like, brother, then I was okay for a while, and then it was like, I think it was probably the beginning of December.

Terri Gilstad 18:33
And I was really not making progress, like I could start rolling myself around using just my left side and my left foot to roll around the floor up there in a wheelchair. But they always would say, Okay, it’s time to check you again. And everything was fine, until one day it wasn’t, and the girl goes, you’re in labor again. You’re having contractions again every couple of minutes or whatever. And I thought this is ridiculous, so had to go back down, had to come back up. It was all crazy.

Bill Gasiamis 19:07
So were you in early in early labor? At some stage, did you go into early labor?

Terri Gilstad 19:17
I was in early labor, but I think I wasn’t dilated or whatever check down there, but I was, I was dilating to about two centimeters, but I had, I couldn’t get to like 10 or whatever, and they didn’t want me to go to 10.

Bill Gasiamis 19:36
So then that pause the for a little while. Yes, and then you went back up to the rehab Ward, continued your rehab and then you went into labor again. Yes, okay. And so when you went into labor and finally had the baby, was it was induced, natural birth C section.

Terri Gilstad 19:59
My doctor said they that I would not be able to have a natural birth as far as the feeling it all and pushing the baby out and things like that. I’d had two all natural births with the first two kids I had. And then it was, I guess they were asking me it was in the early weeks of December, and they said that they could tell that my baby was going to be probably eight pounds or so right then. And it was like, I haven’t ever had one that large or whatever. And they said they were going to induce me.

Terri Gilstad 20:40
So it had to be discharged from the rehab unit, readmitted to the ward again for the the baby, and then I guess I went down there about 10 o’clock, they started the Pitocin drips, everything else. And my husband was there, and my doctor was there. But then he was like, no matter what happens when you feel like you’ve got to push, don’t push, and you just have to let us know somehow that you you’ve gotta push, or whatever. So by that afternoon, about four o’clock, my son was ready to be born. It was so funny, he wanted to stay in the womb while he was like, it wasn’t his time.

Terri Gilstad 21:28
Like, I mean, he wasn’t coming out or whatever. And I was like, come on, you’ve been there so many times before, anyway, but then, then he was able to be born by forceps delivery. And it was gorgeous. My doctor delivered beautiful, beautiful baby boy or whatever. And I was just like, this is great. And then he it was like, there was this real a bunch of stuff going on. And my mother came in, and my mother in law came in, and my daughters came in, and everybody was looking at this baby or whatever, and but I was watching them do all this stuff.

Terri Gilstad 22:08
And I hadn’t given up my my thoughts, and I thought, Now I can die. Now I can die. And because I didn’t feel like I was any thing. I mean, it was just like I had been a whole type A personality. I had so much stuff going on or whatever. Now it was like, I’ve done my duty here. I’ve had the baby, so I’m going to be able to go ahead and die. And it was like, I was not spoiler.

Bill Gasiamis 22:39
Spoiler alert. You didn’t die. So the baby’s born, you didn’t die. You guys eventually, eventually went home. And you’re definitely got used to understanding that being a mother, the previous two times you were fit and well, full body, bodily functions. Everything worked well, and then you went home, I imagine at some stage with a baby, and also half of your body not able to work properly and move properly. So what was it like to go home under those conditions with a brand new baby after the deficits that stroke left you with.

Terri Gilstad 23:24
Yes, I believe that it was okay for me to go home that way because I already had two babies that I’d had all my faculties about me or whatever, and I had my husband and my nine year old and my eight year old daughter, and I thought, this is okay. This is alright. You know, I didn’t have to pick him up, or I didn’t have to change the diapers, or I didn’t have to do this, and my husband had moved all their stuff downstairs. We were in an upstairs downstairs house at the time, part of it was, yeah, go back rehab. I know you will.

Terri Gilstad 24:10
My husband just wanted me to let you know that I was in there and I had the baby with me for a week, and I they’d bring him to me, and I could, like, hold him in my arm, even though I wasn’t able to, like, do anything with my arm. And then I could feed him with my with the bottle or whatever. And then after a week, he was discharged, he was able to go home, and I had to stay there for another month.

Bill Gasiamis 24:38
Wow, so, babies at home, babies at home, you’re in rehab for another month. Are you still thinking I should be dying now, or I need to die? Or did you still go? Did you go back to I need to get home.

Terri Gilstad 24:54
I got, I was, I was hurting the whole time after I had. Had the baby, or whatever, I had a hematoma inside of me that was the size of a grapefruit, related to large. And just having the baby or whatever, I was on Heparin, which is the blood thinning medication, yeah. So I was doing everything. Everything was all right, or whatever. And then it was like, you know, I couldn’t stand this. I couldn’t stand just the thought of having to just go through my life with this whole all this pain and stuff.

Bill Gasiamis 25:36
Is that the non acceptance part, you didn’t accept the stroke that had happened to you, the condition you were in.

Terri Gilstad 25:43
Exactly, and I was so upset about it, and all I wanted to do was die, and I thought, you know.

Bill Gasiamis 25:53
About your condition. Were you upset about that? It happened to you? What were you upset about?

Terri Gilstad 25:58
I was upset about my condition because I couldn’t talk to people. I could not, you know, do the things that I wanted to do with the baby, but I was just like, it’s going to be alright, or whatever. Well, the doctor came in and said, we’ll get you in the surgery for another day or so. And I said, Why not today? And I was in the room to do it within the hour, so that that was when they found out I had the hematoma inside me, or whatever, and they got it all taken care of, and we’re fixing all this stuff.

Bill Gasiamis 26:40
And I was like, what was the hardest part to accept, though, was it the fact that you couldn’t be with your baby? Was it that you couldn’t speak? Was it that you couldn’t move your body? Which was the hardest part?

Terri Gilstad 26:52
Yes, yeah, I think the hardest part was not being able to move my body and not being able to speak at the same time. And then when I came out of the surgery, and I felt better, then I realized that God was not ready for me yet. It was like, for some reason, he was just saying, This is not your time. And I was very, very upset, and I think I did not communicate the way I would communicate with God, usually for about seven years.

Bill Gasiamis 27:29
And you were very upset with God, very upset, very upset for having put you in this situation.

Terri Gilstad 27:37
Yes, so or, or for for not taking me. I was like, Why did you leave Why did you leave me down here? Okay, so. But then I knew that I was going to have to go back to school for the next school year, whatever. So I had from, I think I got out January 20, which was Bill Clinton’s Inauguration Day or whatever. And I was I went home, and it was like was going around, and I was very depressed. And at the time, I didn’t know that it’s supposed to be depression is a very, very common thing that most stroke survivors have a lot of.

Terri Gilstad 28:20
And at the time, it was like, I just can’t be around here. I just can’t do all this stuff or whatever. But then my husband and my mother in law, who was also my assistant principal at school, said that, you know, I had to go and walk every morning, and I had a Hemi Walker and then a cane. And then when I was back at school, I was able to start walking pretty much with my leg.

Bill Gasiamis 28:48
Let’s go back, a little bit. You’re an amazing guest, by the way. I love that information that you have, and it’s probably my, my responsibility, to get it out of you at the right moment. So okay, so it’s all good. Now I want to go back to that part. You’re upset with God. God didn’t take you. Your relationship with God for seven years was not the same as it was before. Now, what was your relationship like before you had that experience with God, did did you have? Were you going to church? Were you religious? What? What kind of a relationship did you have?

Terri Gilstad 29:29
I had more of a it’s more Zen than Buddhist or Christian or whatever. I mean, I knew that everybody was supposed to be celebrating their own gods in their own way, that we all have one God. I mean, it’s like, you know, because whoever My God is can be, you know, your God is in another religion.

Bill Gasiamis 29:57
They might have a different name they might look at. Different on pictures, but we all are one. We all kind of have one God, so to speak. And your connection was more like a spiritual connection than a yes, it was directly religious type of connection.

Terri Gilstad 30:15
Exactly, It’s like I had read the Bible. I had gone through a lot of books about Buddhism or whatever, and everything that I was touching spoke to me that it was like, I’m not any of those. I’m just me.

Bill Gasiamis 30:33
Okay, so what, what happened in the next seven years? How did you like, did you actually remain mad? Like, did you have conversations like, how could you have done this to me and all that type of stuff? How did you express that anger or madness at God.

Terri Gilstad 30:50
The very first, probably months after I got out and was doing my thing walking around the neighborhood with my cane or whatever. It would be like me telling him, why have you done this? You know, why did you do this to me? And then I thought, well, I know you didn’t do it to me, but you had a way of keeping me better than the way I am, or whatever, a very positive, upbeat person. And so having the depression was just like, like, it was just way down on me.

Bill Gasiamis 31:27
And I was going to say, like, and did you were you feeling sorry for yourself, like, were you doing, like, the pity party type thing?

Terri Gilstad 31:40
I was like, you know, how am I doing this? And then I would sit there and say, I’m not doing this. I’m just absolutely not doing things. I went back to school the following, the following August, and when I got back in school, or whatever. It was like, I’ve gotta talk. I have to do this. I am an elementary school teacher, and there have to be seven points of the day that I’m doing math and science and reading and dinner.

Terri Gilstad 32:15
And it was like, Okay, I went back to my thinking, and I thought, you know, I was so upset with myself for being so upset about God or whatever. And I thought, well, I can’t, I can’t be that way.

Bill Gasiamis 32:30
So not only were you upset at God, you were upset at yourself for being upset at God. That’s a lot of upset going on there.

Terri Gilstad 32:38
Here it was. It was a lot. But then I thought, well, I’m going back to school in August, so I thought, I’m going to make sure I get back to school and I’m going to have everything that I have to say for the entire day right now. And I realized I couldn’t type on my computer anymore, not with two hands, but with one hand. I did it like it was okay. So every day I would get prepared to go to this room. First of all, I went to the in second grade. This was my third year teaching second grade, or not second but third grade. And I was like, you know, this is just strange.

Terri Gilstad 33:25
And they said, Well, we’re starting something in the school called inclusion, inclusive education or whatever. And I thought, Alright, I can, I can do inclusion. And they let me go with a girl that I knew, or whatever, another teacher who was a special ed teacher, and it was going to be wonderful, because I would have really smart kids for half of my class, and then the other half of my class were the kids that were SLD specific Learning Disabilities.

Terri Gilstad 34:00
But they could have all sorts of information like they’re they were not able to get their speech out properly, or they weren’t able to write things down or whatever. And so I had to learn all the different ways that they would be learning. And thought I have to teach from their visual, their auditory and their kinesthetic what they would do so much. And so I would sit there and write down my lesson for spelling and my lesson for and each day, it was like, I would stand up there and having books in my hands or whatever, was pretty much normal that it was like, Okay, this is my script.

Terri Gilstad 34:39
And if I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to say, I just got to let look at my script again. And so I had been doing the stuff that would help me talk very much. And also, my husband would take my son and my daughters out, and I would be the only one left in the house. And I. Would scream at the top of my lungs. Just scream to help strengthen my lungs. And so it was really so.

Bill Gasiamis 35:11
So that is how long after you came back from hospital and you were at home.

Terri Gilstad 35:18
Let’s see, I came back from the hospital in January and the following August.

Bill Gasiamis 35:25
So, eight months after everything that you went through, you went back to work. Yes, I did. And you taught at a school, even though you were dealing with aphasia.

Terri Gilstad 35:38
And I had my notes there, and I knew that I would be able to talk like, you know, I put information on the board, and I could talk about that information, and I’d have what they’d be talking about. We’re going to do spelling for something. And I’d had everybody stand up in the class, and they would have to raise their arm up, yeah, out cross and then, and so I was still bringing my therapies that I was having in the hospital.

Bill Gasiamis 36:12
Into your classroom.

Terri Gilstad 36:14
It was exactly right.

Bill Gasiamis 36:17
So did that help you? So what role did going back to school play in your recovery? How did did that? Not, not I understand, like what you did and how you did it, and all that kind of stuff. But what happened with the I don’t want to be here anymore. Did that go away when you were back at school? How did that change that?

Terri Gilstad 36:39
That went away. It had probably gone away back when I went home, probably by March or April. It was like, Okay, I’m gonna be here for a long time. I’m definitely not gonna be going back into the La, La Land that I went into. But it was like, you know, I was not ready to give up, but I was able to teach, like, from my notes or whatever, for about half a day in the beginning. And then by by 1111, 30 each day, my voice would start going out or whatever. And that’s when Linda would take over, my friend.

Bill Gasiamis 37:21
Okay, so your assistant was there to take over and support you with your recovery? Well, that’s very, very useful and helpful to help transition somebody back into work. Was there a particular person that supported you more than anybody? Kind of somebody that was your your mentor, your guide, who was it that sort of stepped up that you didn’t expect, that really impacted you in a positive way?

Terri Gilstad 37:50
My husband, my husband was probably the most supportive and the most positive thing that was around me at the time, my sister, my doctor’s sister from Gainesville or whatever, called me one morning, and she was talking, and I said something about, I think I’m going to be trying to go back to work in August. And she was like, Well, you know, you probably are going to say that, but you’re probably not going to be able to make it back.

Terri Gilstad 38:24
And I was in there going, excuse me, it was like, every time somebody said something to me, like, you’re not going to get this if you don’t have it back by the time six months have passed, just don’t expect to get it back. And I was like, tell me, and I will get that just so it was like that was the point where it was her, her having to say that.

Bill Gasiamis 38:50
That was your turning point. Was that your exactly, big, exactly. So your biggest frustration was having something to say and then forgetting or not being able to say it and get it.

Terri Gilstad 39:01
Not being able to get it out. Yeah, that was, it was horrible, but I had to admit, it made me a better listener. Yeah. I mean, I was, I was a good talker, but I was not as good a listener as I had to become.

Bill Gasiamis 39:19
When did the shift happened with God, like what happened? And you kind of felt okay with God.

Terri Gilstad 39:28
I think it was about seven years till I finally somebody could say something to me, and I was able to respond, but slowly, and it took me probably about that entire first seven years for me to be able to initiate a conversation, and I thought, and it was just such a relief that I was the person that was able to say hello before somebody else said hello to me.

Bill Gasiamis 39:57
So, it took seven years for you to. Get to that stage. Love continuous recovery, things improving, things changing, difficulties, deficits, problems, all sorts of stuff that you’re going through and yet they’re still experiencing recovery. After seven years, you’re still, we’re getting better and better and better.

Terri Gilstad 40:20
And I’m still, I’m still experiencing recovery after 32 years, it’ll be 33 years by this.

Bill Gasiamis 40:32
And looking back, how have you changed? What? What strengths have you discovered in yourself that you didn’t know you had for example.

Terri Gilstad 40:41
I discovered that I have a lot of patience, which I didn’t think I would ever be able to say that, but I realized that when I was taken out of the talking world for a while, it gave me enough time to think and to relate to all the people that were around me and to my children and their friends or whatever. And I thought I had to learn patience, I think, as one of my really good skills.

Terri Gilstad 41:16
And I still, I was really disappointed, because everybody was doing certain things where you could take these tests and it would be, you know, like 100 question test or whatever, and had to put all the answers down. I couldn’t take tests like that anymore because I could not remember things that I would study for the night before, I wouldn’t be able to do anything. My thing was to sit back and fake it till you make it type. I was able to write down all the words that I would say, and then I had the scripts every day.

Bill Gasiamis 42:02
After that, find another way of getting through things.

Terri Gilstad 42:06
Exactly.

Bill Gasiamis 42:08
Did you have to like, adapt.

Terri Gilstad 42:13
Yes, had to adapt in a lot of ways, yeah, a lot of ways, yeah.

Bill Gasiamis 42:20
So what’s life like now, 32 years later, daily living. Did you mention something about some deficits having got worse recently, or something?

Terri Gilstad 42:34
As I got closer to 70, I started feeling like I was going off balance physically, and I have been told that I should be using my cane much more than I was using my cane. And I have been using my cane.

Bill Gasiamis 42:53
Have you been, have you been told you should go back to rehab and do some.

Terri Gilstad 42:58
I’ve been, I have been, that is one of the things that I could tell any of your listeners, or whatever.

Bill Gasiamis 43:04
So you so, so you have gone back to rehab. You still do realization. You still follow all of that stuff, trying to make sure that you stay on top of the balances, etc. Yes. And does it improve? Did you find improvement?

Terri Gilstad 43:19
It does. Yeah, it definitely improves. I usually get it for about six weeks at a time, and I will learn all the exercises. I use the exercise falls, I use the exercise bands. I use the stairs so they walk up, and then you turn them walk down, and just everything that they could put me through, I would have to go back do them again, and then each time I get strong enough, and when I go out, I’d have to be able to come home and do them again. But I decided that it’s probably going back to the rehab place that I went to the last time is probably a good place to be just to help me get my step back.

Bill Gasiamis 44:06
Good move. Good move. So your this is probably more about me than you like I would have expected. I would have expected that by the time I got to 32 years post stroke, I’m done talking about it. I’m done rehabilitating. I’m done all of that. It’s just like because I’m only 14 years post stroke, so by then I get, by the time I get to 32 years you know who needs to talk about it? However, you still found my podcast.

Bill Gasiamis 44:36
Somehow. You still reached out. You still felt that there was important for you to join the podcast and share your story. Why is that? What is the why is it necessary to still, after all these years, reach out to the community and share your story?

Terri Gilstad 44:56
Because I realized that I. I went from being very able to being very disabled, and it happened like overnight, and I was having such a difficult time getting it back. I was so mad at God. I was like, No, how could he have done this to me? Did it? And then when I changed my attitude, when I changed my attitude, and I was ready to say, Okay, I’m going to do this. And they’d say, Well, you’re not going to be able to do that. And I was like, watch me. Watch my epic cat. Hello. Say hello. Hello. Yes, I was always there, though.

Terri Gilstad 45:44
It’s like somebody would say to me, you’re not going to be able to do that ever. And I said, Watch me. Just watch me. And at 70, I am still getting things back. It’s just It amazes me, and don’t ever, ever ever think that you will not get something back. I may not be able to play kickball, but I can watch the kids play and let everybody know you’re out. Yeah, but I just had to adapt to ways that I could do it. I could be a part of what everybody was doing, but in my own special way.

Bill Gasiamis 46:26
So what a lovely conversation. Thank you so much for reaching out overcoming all the challenges you needed to overcome to get on the podcast. I know we had a few technical problems, Zoom issues and all that kind of stuff. So I really appreciate your persistence and your perseverance. It’s lovely to meet you. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Terri Gilstad 46:51
You’re welcome. Thank you so much for having me on.

Bill Gasiamis 46:54
That was Terri Gilstad, and what an inspiring conversation. Her story is proof that after stroke, recovery never really ends. That even decades later, there’s still progress to be made. If you found hope in Terri story, remember to Subscribe on YouTube or your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss future episodes. And of course, you can pick up my book. The Unexpected Way That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened, at recoveryafterstroke.com/book.

Bill Gasiamis 47:21
a final thank you to Banksia tech for supporting this episode and for making the Hanson rehab glove by so Rebo available to stroke survivors in Australia and internationally. Most importantly, thank you for being here by listening, commenting and sharing, you’re helping build a community where survivors don’t feel alone. Remember to keep moving forward. Recovery is a journey, and you’re not walking it alone.

Intro 47:45
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Intro 48:15
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Intro 48:39
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Intro 49:06
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The post Terry Gilstead: 32 Years of Recovery, Motherhood, and the ‘Watch Me’ Spirit appeared first on Recovery After Stroke.