Thank You Heartbreak with Chelsea Leigh Trescott

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After losing her brother and first child within ten days of each other, writer, encourager and believer Amy Debrucque was overwhelmed with the fear of death. At night, while the rest of the family was sleeping, she'd secretly spiral into anxiety. This went on for 15 years until she was diagnosed with a lifesaving diagnosis, Hodgkin's Lymphoma. For her, this was God’s way of asking whether she was ready to surrender her fears and enjoy her life. Joining Chelsea 14 minutes in, Amy opens up about the difficulty of letting down her boundaries completely during grief, why maintaining boundaries in adult friendships became essential, her commitment to modeling respect with her husband and owning her mistakes in front of her children, why it's better to be imperfect than too proud, and how, more important than finding a partner who is your everything, is having the people on the outside who can support you should you ever both be down. __To connect with Amy, visit her:Website: https://www.amydebrucque.comBlog: https://www.adebrucquelivingyourbestlife.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/amydebrucqueFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Personal-Blog/Amy-DebrucqueWriter-1272395836233907/__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]__THE NOW FACTOR!Join me for a complimentary online series, The NOW Factor: How to Quit Waiting for Everything to be Okay, Connect with Your Divine Gifts, and Create a Life of Boldness & Power, and get proven strategies and advice from more than 20 experts on life design (including me). The series is hosted by my friend, Kate Dorsey, a woman’s empowerment coach and if you’re ready to rebuild your life, then grab your FREE spot, here: thrivecoachinginc.com/chelsealeightrescott

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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When Beth Pauvlinch’s mother aka best friend in the whole entire world was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer, it took persuasion to convince her to seek treatment. But convince her, Beth did. What resulted was a second cancer diagnosis and a full blown fight—done with a healthy dose of humor—to not leave her daughter behind. Unfortunately, Beth’s mom did pass away. Joining Chelsea 9 minutes in, Beth talks about Two Women 1 Disease, the three year memoir she wrote with her mother as they struggled with life, love, letting go and laughing in the face of cancer. Additionally, she reflects on not seeking support during her grief (and what she chose to do instead), the challenge of being a rock, needing a rock and not wanting to ask for a rock when you are the caretaker, where she found love and purpose after losing her best friend, reconnecting with her estranged father, and being at the forefront of a whole new medium—customized cremation art—so your loved one can be both visible and in motion rather than contained within a urn.PS: Apologies for any audio glitches. This podcast is very human and prone to beauty and messiness. __To connect with Beth, visit her:Website: https://www.artbybeth.comPurchase Two Women 1 Disease: https://www.artbybeth.com/shopOn Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Two-Women-Disease-Caregiver-Daughter/dp/0999559001Ashes of Love Memorials: https://www.artbybeth.com/cremation-artInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/bethpauvlinch__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]__THE NOW FACTOR!Join me for a complimentary online series, The NOW Factor: How to Quit Waiting for Everything to be Okay, Connect with Your Divine Gifts, and Create a Life of Boldness & Power, and get proven strategies and advice from more than 20 experts on life design (including me). The series is hosted by my friend, Kate Dorsey, a woman’s empowerment coach and if you’re ready to rebuild your life, then grab your FREE spot, here: thrivecoachinginc.com/chelsealeightrescott

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Former sex furniture designer, Brianne McGuire is the podcast host of Sex Communication and the Founder of Graphic Paint, a utopian idea of a platform where people are encouraged to share and express everything about their sexuality without shame or judgment. This isn’t erotica either, this is a place for people to be super filthy. Joining Chelsea 10:30 minutes in, Brianne talks about what blazing this new trial looks and sounds like and how being so explicitly human in her work has created a rift being her mom and her and makes dating challenging. In addition to sex talk, Brianne gets real about the fearless self-awareness and humility that is encouraged in her sobriety, no longer running from the feeling she’s trying to get away from, how desire doesn’t trump depression because depression isn’t a matter of will, why the BDSM world requires more conversations and communication, boundaries and respect, and the healing power of sharing your story and listening to stories.__To connect with Brianne, visit her:Website: https://www.graphicpaint.comSend in your submission: https://www.graphicpaint.com/submissionsListen to the podcast: https://www.graphicpaint.com/sexpodcast__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]__THE NOW FACTOR! Join me for a complimentary online series, The NOW Factor: How to Quit Waiting for Everything to be Okay, Connect with Your Divine Gifts, and Create a Life of Boldness & Power, and get proven strategies and advice from more than 20 experts on life design (including me). The series is hosted by my friend, Kate Dorsey, a woman’s empowerment coach and if you’re ready to rebuild your life, then grab your FREE spot, here: https://thrivecoachinginc.com/chelsealeightrescott

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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For the first time ever, eHarmony looked at what singles want out of their dating lives and the qualities and even professions they desire most in potential partners. Joining Chelsea 4:30 minutes in, clinical psychologist, eHarmony writer and author of "Dr. Seth's Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve," Dr. Seth Meyers shares their findings for the “Singles & Desirability” study, highlighting that people know deep down what they need and what will make them happy and, yet, will betray their deepest intentions with today’s swiping culture behavior. Rather than lecture you on whether to swipe or toss yourself back out into the pool au naturel, this episode emphasizes how you should be showing up as a human being in the dating world, the most intimate, caring gesture you can extend on a date, how to make your single time work best for you, and the value of cultivating a life and developing yourself.—To connect with Dr. Seth Meyers, visit his:Website: http://www.drsethrelationshipexpert.comReel: http://www.drsethrelationshipexpert.com/demoreel.htmleHarmony Blog: https://www.eharmony.com/blog/author/smeyers/#.XQKG2C_MyqcPurchase Book: Dr. Seth's Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deservehttps://www.amazon.com/Dr-Seths-Love-Prescription-Relationship/dp/1440503699—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Illustrator Brianna Gilmartin gives the backstory on her autobiographical comics, particularly a recent comic which gained enormous attention and respect and dealt with no longer wanting to carry the weight of her father’s 15 year addiction by holding onto it as if it were her own secret. Joining Chelsea, she talks about the conflicting emotions of denial and guilt which she experienced as a child witnessing her father choose a substance over her every day and yet how she’s outgrown hope for change and cultivated an acceptance toward her life being what it is. With a quiet strength, she answers every pointed question and even indulges in Thank You Heartbreak’s first ever round of rapid fire Reflection Cards by Holstee. Gems to look out for:+ the comfort that comes with knowing others relate to your specific experience+ why your own sense of denial can make you resistant to joining support groups+ using humor to overcompensate for the heaviness of addiction+ what are parents do shape us+ her older siblings see their father as a superhero dad because they got a different version of their father+ not fantasizing about who your father could be because this is all you know+ finding acceptance when you understand you have no control over others+ humans are mostly compassionate people; we want to help each other so if something is going wrong, we try to see if we did something wrong to fix it+ it’s not that easy to see addiction as a disease because there is the choice to choose treatment+ the paralysis of too much choice+ not having the desire to date can turn you into an outlier in today’s dating culture+ looking for validation within relationships rather than validation from within can turn you into a serial monogamist + the nerves surrounding "what do I even do on my own, how can I excite myself?”+ the nice things about relationships that keep you coming back+ knowing you are more than alright on your own takes the fear out of being solo and the pressure of dating+ failing hurts less than not trying+ how experiencing her father’s addiction has given her a superpower strength and appreciation for real relationships + having compassion for someone doesn’t mean you have to have patience for their toxic behavior And so much more.__To connect with Brianna, visit her:Website: https://briannagilmartin.comComics mentioned within the episode:"I used to hide my dad’s addiction. Now I can talk about it, but I’m still learning how to cope." via The Lily: https://www.thelily.com/i-used-to-hide-my-dads-addiction-now-i-can-talk-about-it-but-im-still-learning-how-to-cope/"I have a hard time making decisions, but I realized taking the risk is better than losing out." via The Lily:https://www.thelily.com/i-have-a-hard-time-making-decisions-but-i-realized-taking-the-risk-is-better-than-losing-out/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/buhbuhbriannaTwitter: https://twitter.com/BuhBuhBriannaReflection Cards by Holstee: https://www.holstee.com/products/reflection-cards-conversation-questions__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Clinical and transpersonal psychologist, Dr. Sarah Neustader is the author of the newly released memoir, Love You Like the Sky: Surviving the Suicide of a Beloved. Joining Chelsea 13 minutes in, Sarah talks about navigating grief when you didn’t ask for it, let alone choose suicide yourself, and how she kept the conversation going with her boyfriend when he was now only in the spiritual realm. Ten years later, and no longer at the mercy of her boyfriend’s death, Sarah reflects on the many ways his suicide impacted not only her life but her will to live and credits his death and the blinding, debilitating trauma that is experienced by those left behind for helping her transcend her own suicidal ideations experienced both in her youth and in the wake of his passing. Gems to look out for:+ the hard existential dilemma of wanting to die but knowing you can’t—won’t—do it+ the spiritual side of suicide + dealing with the reality of a person’s suicide when you didn’t see it coming+ the world only gives us what we alone can handle+ how another person’s death can set your life onto a whole new trajectory + as a widower, the frustration of being launched, against one’s will, onto an unconventional path+ death is not the end; it is a doorway into something else+ the dangerous overprescription of pharmaceuticals + processing your regrets post-heartbreak+ people who are resolute about taking their own lives are those who don’t talk about it+ trusting life and another person after losing a loved one to suicide + opening yourself to the next big love+ how is the attachment harder to overcome if someone dies versus a breakup+ the tireless loop of “you’re not good enough, I’m not good enough, and what’s wrong with me”+ where a woman’s critical voice comes from+ how a man can best respond to a woman projecting her own unmet expectations onto him+ the not good enough wound that gets projected onto men by women+ grieving is a form of loving+ the shock of one day there’s a body and the next day there’s no body+ not being able to answer the question of “where are you?” breaks down any sense of security and attachment to the known world+ coping with death by leaning into extrasensory abilities+ sharing memories of a person who has passed is a way of collecting treasures + attachment styles and how to work on your attachment when you’re not in a romantic relationship + learning about your energy through Human Design and BodyGraphing (Sarah’s a projector; I’m a Manifesting Generator; find out what you are at www.jennazoe.com) __To connect with Dr. Sarah Neustadter, visit her:Website: https://sarahneustadter.comPurchase Love You Like the Sky: https://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Like-Sky-Surviving/dp/1943006881/Podcast: http://assholesofla.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahneustadterphdFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sarah-Neustadter-PhD-976946002497116/Twitter: https://twitter.com/neustadtersarah?lang=en__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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From the window of a conference room in Tokyo, Kelly Jones watched the petals fall from a cherry blossom tree and made a sudden promise to herself: I’m not going to be in this room next year. Joining Chelsea, Scent Sommelier and Founder of Kelly+Jones opens up about quitting the auto-industry, divorcing her college boyfriend after a 13 year heartless, mean marriage, and moving cross country to follow her nose and launch Kelly+Jones, a boutique fragrance brand featuring olfactive experiences inspired by the vineyard and beyond.Gems to look out for:+ a scent is like a time machine triggering the memory of another or a specific moment in our life+ peer pressure from friends to date, have sex, or be somewhere else romantically+ the healing nature of meeting someone and letting it be one chapter+ looking for proof of love and rather than being envious of it, being excited for it+ you’re part of someone when you have sex+ how with age and experience, sex became more sacred+ the transformation from the thrill of casual sex to the thrill of sacred sex+ in a society of over-connection and overstimulation, we are beginning to honor the partners we choose more+ the satisfaction of not forcing a relationship to be more than it is+ cultivating patience for yourself in today’s impatient dating culture+ sustainable relationships are the ones that aren't rushed, analyzed or necessarily defined off the bat+ sometimes you have to be okay with waiting+ the power of choosing your partner/the power of choice+ the distorted rationale that, even when you don’t want it, you’ll get sex over with and then you’ll “reset” after+ the serendipitous nature of cherry blossom season+ sometimes the signs are right in front of you, but you don't see them because you're so far up in your head+ you know the timing is right when you start making the connections + fragrance is really a love story+ how she became a sensual person+ collecting scents from the journeys through love and heartbreak+ stories happen when you are brave enough to make a connection+ the romance of platonic relationships, of simply being impacted and supported by a person+ how she died the day of her divorce+ why she was gravitating toward mean men and how she broke the cycle+ post-heartbreak, you’ve got to do you and nothing and no one else for at least 90 days+ traveling alone gifts you new sensory experiences and strength+ learning how to communicate and say what she needs+ identifying the difference between love and lust+ you break the pattern of not listening to yourself when you realize not listening is going to be a big mistakeAnd so much more.__To connect with Kelly+Jones, visit their:Website: www.kellyandjones.comBlog: www.kellyandjones.com/blogs/newsShop the perfume: www.kellyandjones.com/collectionsInstagram: www.instagram.com/kellyandjonesFacebook: www.facebook.com/Kelly-Jones-Eau-de-Parfum-141869272554679/?notif_id=1540434397575690¬if_t=page_fanTwitter: https://twitter.com/kellyandjones__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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After rising to the top and achieving her goal of becoming Head of Communications for a luxury ready-to-wear brand in NYC, Aisha Beau Johnson still felt like something was missing and that she wasn’t where she was meant to be. Her plan? To quit and bet on herself. After getting real on her beauty blog AishaBeau.com about the anxiety she’s suffered since childhood, her bet crystalized and today she’s a go-to guide in the self-care industry. Joining Chelsea, Aisha opens up about choosing the scary path over the dangerous path, both in her career and in her love. “Scary is taking a leap of faith, scary is going off and trying something new, but dangerous is staying in a situation or with a person that doesn’t value you. I decided to take scary over dangerous.” Realizing that danger shrinks you, Aisha also reflects on overcoming the debilitating nature of today’s comparison culture and her own destination addiction—that is, the fantasy that once we get there or have that, we will be a certain person who feels and lives a certain way—and shares her wisdom on the first, most important self-care step post-heartbreak and why the person you need to love the most is yourself, because that’s the person you have to live with forever.Gems to look out for:+ you can’t emit radiance if you don’t admit to the demons inside of yourself+ why having a name/term/diagnosis for what you’re experiencing can calm you+ freedom is directly correlated to peace of mind and peace of mind is directly correlated to a belief in yourself+ when you believe in yourself, your possibilities are endless+ the relationship between believing in yourself and betting on yourself+ how being in an environment that wasn’t fulfilling her purpose triggered anxiety+ how to live and work in an uncertain field as an anxious person+ the myth of “once I get there, I’ll be happy”+ how she alleviated the pressure on her performance and her fixation on the destination when she became a full-time blogger+ overcoming “I want this NOW”+ how throwing hobbies to the wayside to make herself readily available to a man ended her relationship + work on yourself but don’t stop working on yourself once you get into a great relationship+ living your dream and going out on a limb can inspire your partner to seek and reach for their own goal+ it takes maturity to be with someone who is propelling themselves forward+ the fear of successful, lasting relationships is vulnerability+ advice from her single mom: treat every relationship like it’s a fresh start and a new beginning and give it your all+ a successful relationship is dependent upon us always pushing ourself to be more of ourself+ first step in self-care is greeting your feelings without bringing judgment to them+ when you put things on paper, you cease to wrestle with things in your mind+ stop with the shoulding, everyone’s process is different__To connect with Aisha, visit her:Website: http://aishabeau.comYouTube: https://youtube.com/c/aishabeauInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aishabeauFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aishabeauTwitter: https://twitter.com/aishabeau__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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To connect with Effy, visit her:Website: https://effyblue.comCoaching Services: https://effyblue.com/coachingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/coacheffyblueFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachEffyBlueCurious Fox Events: https://effyblue.com/curiousfox__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Rabbi and marriage counselor Tod Jacobs and Positive Psychologist and marriage counselor Peter Lyn join Chelsea 9 minutes in to talk about their important new book, Not A Partnership: Why We Keep Getting Marriage Wrong & How We Can Get It RightPulling from data as well as their teachings at The David Robinson Institution, founded by both men in Jerusalem, Tod and Peter are invested in helping the man of today prepare for marriage by focusing both on developing a mature and idealistic vision of marriage as the primary vehicle to create wholeness, meaning, purpose and happiness in their lives, and on working to perfect the character issues that lie at the core of a successful spouse—giving, empathy, focus, staying power and a strong desire to help build the other.__To connect with Tod & Peter, visit their:Website: https://www.notapartnership.comPurchase Not A Partnership: Why We Keep Getting Marriage Wrong & How We Can Get It Right: https://www.amazon.com/Not-Partnership-Tod-Jacobs-MA/dp/0578448645/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=not+a+partnership&qid=1554931282&s=gateway&sr=8-1__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott