Thank You Heartbreak with Chelsea Leigh Trescott

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097: Nothing's A Mistake, Nobody's An Accident by Chelsea Leigh Trescott

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

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Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

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Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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"We now get another opportunity to start a new chapter in life and the chapter can be anything you want it to be. It can be as big as you can dream. And as big as you can dream, that’s what your next chapter can be.” Divorce and Family Law Attorney, Mediator, Arbitrator and Litigator Chaim Steinberger lives and dies with his clients. As a result of his own nasty divorce, he knew there had to be a better way and now practices that better way as he protects, defends and shepherds people through the terror of divorce so they can come out on the other side without having destroyed everything they loved. In thanks to Chaim’s eccentric personality, this is by no means a dry episode. Instead, you’ll hear Chaim’s professionalism and romanticism in all its glory when he joins Chelsea 13 minutes in to talk about the luxury of divorce and the five things to do to save yourself from playing the short game and hurting yourself in the long run: principled negotiation rather than positional bargaining, utilizing reflective and active listening, never making accusations, leading with I-statements, and knowing the answer to, “what makes my signifiant other feel loved and what makes me feel loved?"Other gems to look out for:+ what men fear they will lose in the process of divorce versus what women fear they will lose+ how men and women define themselves differently + for the first time in human history, who you’re married to can be more important than just being married+ why you must listen to the post-um answer+ what we think we want is often different than what we really want + what we really want all goes back to the childhood wound+ the saddest couple dynamic to witness when walking into a restaurant + 98% of all people are in barely tolerable jobs and tolerable relationships + when does it stop being compromise and starts becoming settling+ prenups plant the seed for what you don’t want+ when people are in the throes of anger, they can’t accept an apology, it’s only once they feel understood that they can begin to come down+ the longer the battle and the nastier the battle, the more permanent and the deeper the injury to the children—To connect with Chaim, visit his:Website: https://thenewyorkdivorcelawyers.com—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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To work with Liza, visit:The Moss—Tucker Group: https://www.mosstucker.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMossTuckerGroup/Liza's Thank You Heartbreak Spotlight: https://onmogul.com/stories/thank-you-heartbreak-spotlighting-creatives-16—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Creator of the Positive Separation Method™ and author of Happy Again: The Art of Positive Separation Eveline Jurry shares her 5 tried and true steps for navigating the challenging, often overwhelming, process of separating from a loved one.—To connect with Eveline, visit:Positive Separation: www.positiveseparation.comJoin the tribe, #ShareHappyAgain: https://sharehappyagain.comDownload your free Quick Start Guide to your Happy Future: https://sharehappyagain.com/quickstart Purchase Happy Again: The Art of Positive Separation: https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Again-Art-Positive-Separation/dp/168350917XInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sharehappyagain—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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093: Talking Not From The Wound But The Scar with Lodro Rinzler by Chelsea Leigh Trescott

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Cancer Survivor, Mindfulness and Holistic Lifestyle Coach, and Pilates Instructor Wade Brill is also Thank You Heartbreak’s first guest to talk about heartbreak outside the scope of romantic love. 13 minutes in, Wade joins Chelsea and reveals in stunning detail her layered story of love, grief and marriage. From losing her mom to Leukemia in the midst of her very own treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, to following her heart, moving back to Buenos Aires, her happy place where she had first discovered the swollen lymph nodes on her neck and, then, went on to meet her now husband six weeks later, Wade’s story speaks volumes to how the impact of loss can forever influence how and why we must come alive because, as she says, “we don’t know that we have tomorrow."—To connect with Wade, visit her:Website: www.wadebrill.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/onewadeFacebook: www.facebook.com/wadebrillcoachingCentered in the City Podcast: http://www.wadebrill.com/centered-in-the-city-podcast/—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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For the past 5 years, Co-founder and Chief Wellness Officer of Wise & Well Academy Dr. Kara Fasone PhD hasn’t felt the need to define any one relationship, create specific expectations with a person or make a possessive label out of them. This choice has left many men baffled—am I not masculine enough? why wouldn’t you want to be exclusive? etc, etc.—whereas, it’s left Kara feeling light, fun and free. Also, brand new. Joining Chelsea 7 minutes in, Kara opens up about her past life as a people pleaser, what single life looks like for her, leveraging the opportunity of a breakup to reflect, reassess and sometimes pivot, shifting away from the shoulds and towards the wants, the value of making decisions overtime and from a place of logic rather than emotion, and how each person, relationship and interaction draws forth a lesson, bringing us closer to ourself and the one that we will leap for.Gems to listen out for:+ most successful relationships hinge on finding someone with the same values + why we lead with interests versus values when dating+ how the rush of timelines—“I’m not moving fast enough”—makes it so we don’t sit and ask the important questions+ we place a lot of importance on how other’s perceive us but we often make incorrect assumptions+ take time to understand how others might feel versus how we think others might feel+ life is a series of stereotypes+ the need to be self-focused at some point in your life+ prioritizing long-term impact versus short-term satisfaction+ the need to be upfront about what you’re looking for—or not looking for—in the Tinder Age. + the sooner you realize you’re in control, the sooner you can bounce back+ looking at relationships not as a responsibility to keep and please the other but as a fun activity to experience meaningfully—To connect with Kara, visit:Wise & Well Academy: wellwisefree.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/wise_and_well_academyFacebook: www.facebook.com/WiseAndWellAcademy—Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Question of the day: There's no such thing as a failed relationship. If you still think yours was, pretend you are a great debater and you're convincing your audience that even though you're no longer together, your relationship was, ultimately, a success story. Give it to me. Where did you win out? What did you gain? Write your speech down and, remember, you're a world renown debater! Be convincing.Quotes of the day: "When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don't go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending—to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends." — Brené Brown* Apologies for the construction going on and the baby crying. I lost the remote that mutes the city noise aka the rest of the world going about their lives.

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Question of the day starts at minute 10: How could you respond to setbacks more powerfully so your spirit isn't reduced by them? If you responded more powerfully to setbacks, how do you imagine you'd feel about them and their influence on your life? If a setback didn't hold such a negative connotation, what other word would you use to describe it?Quote of the day: "If you don't like being a doormat, then get off the floor." — Al-AnonSong that's giving me LIFE right now: Parra For Cuva — Paspatouhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcFSjMUxMrg&feature=share&fbclid=IwAR1tWQpfx3bX_ZKsPhoL1TpJsDFqgftgEWv1Ms87viEMeVJV_9GTldhoeSo

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Question of the day starts at minute 7: You've heard the saying, "When one door closes, another will soon open." If this breakup is an example of that one door closing, which door do you hope will open next? Describe what's behind that door. Try to be as vivid as possible.Quote of the day: "Out with the old, in with the true." — Jeff Brown

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott