That Husband Podcast

 Visit www.thathusband.com for merch, event tickets and other resources

We are privileged to be joined by Kgabo Legora, who takes us into the world of a husband and father who bravely faces the realities of depression.

After experiencing a significant family event that triggered his mental health struggles, he discovered that his family lacked the language to process what was happening. Despite trying therapy in his teens and having a terrible experience, meeting Jesus at 18 became a pivotal moment that reshaped his life. This episode explores how his faith, coupled with the support of his close-knit community, has played a vital role in his journey to not just survive, but thrive as a husband, father, and business owner.

We’ll hear about the challenges he’s faced, from the toll depression and anti-depressants took on his body image to the burnout cycles and multiple attempts to overcome his lowest points. Through his lens as a freelance photographer, we explore how creativity has become a healing outlet, allowing him to express and fight against the darkness. In a marriage spanning a decade, he’s learned that to be healthy for his wife and kids, he needs consistency in life, not just in his relationship.

We hope you will walk away inspired by his determination to live a full life. He dreams of being emptied out by the time he leaves this earth, giving all he can, not only to his family but also to the world. Despite his unconventional story and ongoing battles, this episode celebrates the grace and resilience that have carried him through—and the profound hope he holds for his four children.

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In this episode, we delve into the complex journey of Koketso Molaolwe the leader behind Mmuso Worship and Mmuso Church, who transitioned from being a club DJ and A-type leader to a husband and pastor.

Raised in a turbulent environment where his father was never married to his mother, the scars of rejection and the aftermath of an affair shaped his early life. He shares how these experiences led him to stop relying on people at some point in his life, and how he eventually found himself grappling with the realisation that he might wake up being more of a narcissist than he ever wanted to admit.

As a husband, he had to confront the harsh reality that his wife, who takes no nonsense, wasn’t going to be impressed by his façade. He feared waking up one day with the realization that she had married a man more in love with his image than with her. The episode explores his struggle to balance the demands of ministry and marriage, highlighting moments where his family needed him to be a better husband than a better pastor.

He shares candidly about the challenges of moving in with his in-laws and the tough decision to prioritize his family over ministry. Through it all, he reflects on the lesson that while our wives don’t need to be overly excited, they do need to feel valued and present. This episode is a raw and honest look at the dangers of not knowing one's own weaknesses, and the importance of striving for health and authenticity in all areas of life.

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[S1] EPISODE 25: IS THERE A FUTURE FOR HUSBANDHOOD

In this episode, we explore why more and more young men are becoming skeptical about marriage. We dive into the real-life reasons behind this shift, from the pressures of today’s economy to changing relationship dynamics that have made marriage feel less appealing.

Through personal stories, the two young men, Michael-John and Lethu we sit with help us get to the heart of why marriage isn’t what it used to be for many of their peers. We also touch on the role of sex and the impact of "hook-up" culture on young men's views toward marriage. With casual encounters becoming more normalized, many men are finding it easier to fulfill their physical needs without the commitment that marriage traditionally entails. This shift in how sex is approached has left some men questioning whether marriage is necessary or even desirable, given the immediate gratification that the hook-up culture offers.

Additionally, we explore how online dating has reshaped the landscape of relationships, making it both easier to meet people and harder to settle down. With endless options just a swipe away, many young men feel less urgency to commit to one person for life.

This constant access to potential partners has contributed to a mindset where marriage feels less like a necessity and more like just one of many options in a sea of possibilities.

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EPISODE 24: GENTLE MASCULINITY

In today’s episode, Justice Mukheli reflects on his transformative journey from a rough upbringing to becoming a man who values authenticity and emotional vulnerability. Growing up in a Soweto he learned the importance of avoiding bad financial decisions while staying true to his roots and future goals. Finding his wife was a turning point, teaching him the value of showing up as his true self, without relying on material possessions or role-playing to fit into a mold.

Unlike many relationships the COVID-19 pandemic deepened his bond with his partner, leading to them being married. He shares how a positive outlook can shape a marriage unexpectedly, helping him transition from a hardcore kasi guy to embracing his gentle side.

There’s also so much emphasis on expressing love and honesty as acts of courage that define true masculinity in this episode. Lastly, he helps us reframe what we think of generational wealth, that it isn’t just about money but the legacy of love, honesty, and authenticity left behind.

Through his story, we explore how these values have strengthened his marriage and redefined what it means to be a man today.

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S1] EPISODE 23: THE HUSBAND IS A DYING BREED

For a long time, pastors have been these untouchable figures, with their marriages only visible from the church stage. Rarely, if ever, did we get to see them in everyday life with their wives and children. This lack of access made it hard for many of us to connect with their advice, leading us to follow anyone willing to expose their lifestyle—often, unfortunately, one that wasn't worth emulating.

That’s why we need to give a huge shout-out to Israel Phiri for being open about his first ministry—his role as a husband. He’s got some incredible insights on relationships and, with a strong online presence, he’s inspiring many husbands to step up and take their roles seriously.

You don't want to miss this one! It's full of deep reflections, laughter, and honest takes. 

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Every generation has a figure who transcends culture, politics, sports, or religion to serve as a father figure and a symbolic "husband of the nation." Muzi Mthabela appears to be one of those influential voices in our time. His impact on men is profound, challenging apathy and inspiring a higher vision of masculinity.

Married for 17 years, his journey is both eye-opening and deeply human. His story serves as a beacon of hope for those striving to improve their own marriages, filling a void for many husbands who lacked role models growing up.

What sets his approach apart is his unique balance: he offers genuine care while pushing you to rise to your potential, urging you to step up, show up, and man up. This episode is packed with insights that will inspire and help you grow.

Enjoy and be transformed!

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JUST HUSBANDS NOT SUPERHEROES

The title of this episode perfectly captures the essence of our conversation with Nat, a genuine, down-to-earth, and sober-minded husband who is refreshingly honest about his feelings and thoughts.

Over the past 12 years, Nat’s humility has not only contributed significantly to the success of his marriage but has also been shaped and refined by it. Ego trips are all too common among husbands, leading to immense strain on marriages due to unchecked or bruised egos. While it's certainly not easy to manage pride, it's crucial for the well-being of our wives and families. We must regularly keep our egos in check to avoid causing emotional harm to those we love.

This episode invites you to pause and rethink how you approach your marriage, offering insights on how humility and self-awareness can pave the way for a thriving, harmonious relationship.

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(We apologise for the sound issues at the beginning of this episode. Please bare with us)

THE DARK SIDE OF MARRIAGE

In this episode, we delve into the distressing realities of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) and Domestic Violence, exploring their profound impact on victims and the relationships they find themselves in. Kathy who is the CEO of Mohau Counselling Centre defines these forms of violence, shedding light on their prevalence, and breaks down for us what deep scars they leave behind.

Our discussion then shifts focus to the perpetrators of these violent acts. We aim to uncover patterns and triggers, challenging all of us to consider the complexities behind these heinous acts while emphasising the importance of accountability and change.

Finally, Kathy helps us with such a brilliant illustration that points to the complexities of the human heart in both perpetuating and healing from violence. Through this sit down, we hope to encourage you to engage in proactive efforts to combat GBV and Domestic Violence, nurturing a world where every person can thrive in safety and love.

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This conversation started in the comment section many episodes ago, so I decided to bring Torch on the pod to dive deeper into the lasting impact our country’s history has on us as husbands.

Torch Everblazing has such a rich family history, offering us a window into our own family lives and legacies. His earnestness inspired me to approach my own history with my parents with more empathy and understanding.

This episode is a perspective-shifting journey into the black family experience in South Africa. So, brew some coffee, grab your favourite tennis biscuits, cozy up by the heater, and get ready to have a heartfelt call with your parents and kids afterward.

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RIDE TILL THE WHEELS FALL OFF

I've recently been deeply focused on exploring what true oneness looks like in marriage. After all, marriage is fundamentally about becoming one with your spouse. As a husband, you make a daily choice to grow and solidify this oneness with your wife. Pulling in different directions is a sure way to create distance and potentially end the relationship.

In this episode, we are thrilled to have Loyiso Bala join us to define and share how he and his wife have cultivated oneness and developed a healthy partnership in their marriage.

Loyiso and his wife have also worked professionally together practically their whole marriage, so, how have they managed to keep everything together and achieve such remarkable growth in both their family and business.

This conversation also delves into the themes of legacy, fatherhood, and faith. It was an absolute pleasure to have this legend sit across the table with us, offering his insights and experiences.