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S1] EPISODE 23: THE HUSBAND IS A DYING BREED

For a long time, pastors have been these untouchable figures, with their marriages only visible from the church stage. Rarely, if ever, did we get to see them in everyday life with their wives and children. This lack of access made it hard for many of us to connect with their advice, leading us to follow anyone willing to expose their lifestyle—often, unfortunately, one that wasn't worth emulating.

That’s why we need to give a huge shout-out to Israel Phiri for being open about his first ministry—his role as a husband. He’s got some incredible insights on relationships and, with a strong online presence, he’s inspiring many husbands to step up and take their roles seriously.

You don't want to miss this one! It's full of deep reflections, laughter, and honest takes. 

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Every generation has a figure who transcends culture, politics, sports, or religion to serve as a father figure and a symbolic "husband of the nation." Muzi Mthabela appears to be one of those influential voices in our time. His impact on men is profound, challenging apathy and inspiring a higher vision of masculinity.

Married for 17 years, his journey is both eye-opening and deeply human. His story serves as a beacon of hope for those striving to improve their own marriages, filling a void for many husbands who lacked role models growing up.

What sets his approach apart is his unique balance: he offers genuine care while pushing you to rise to your potential, urging you to step up, show up, and man up. This episode is packed with insights that will inspire and help you grow.

Enjoy and be transformed!

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JUST HUSBANDS NOT SUPERHEROES

The title of this episode perfectly captures the essence of our conversation with Nat, a genuine, down-to-earth, and sober-minded husband who is refreshingly honest about his feelings and thoughts.

Over the past 12 years, Nat’s humility has not only contributed significantly to the success of his marriage but has also been shaped and refined by it. Ego trips are all too common among husbands, leading to immense strain on marriages due to unchecked or bruised egos. While it's certainly not easy to manage pride, it's crucial for the well-being of our wives and families. We must regularly keep our egos in check to avoid causing emotional harm to those we love.

This episode invites you to pause and rethink how you approach your marriage, offering insights on how humility and self-awareness can pave the way for a thriving, harmonious relationship.

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(We apologise for the sound issues at the beginning of this episode. Please bare with us)

THE DARK SIDE OF MARRIAGE

In this episode, we delve into the distressing realities of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) and Domestic Violence, exploring their profound impact on victims and the relationships they find themselves in. Kathy who is the CEO of Mohau Counselling Centre defines these forms of violence, shedding light on their prevalence, and breaks down for us what deep scars they leave behind.

Our discussion then shifts focus to the perpetrators of these violent acts. We aim to uncover patterns and triggers, challenging all of us to consider the complexities behind these heinous acts while emphasising the importance of accountability and change.

Finally, Kathy helps us with such a brilliant illustration that points to the complexities of the human heart in both perpetuating and healing from violence. Through this sit down, we hope to encourage you to engage in proactive efforts to combat GBV and Domestic Violence, nurturing a world where every person can thrive in safety and love.

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This conversation started in the comment section many episodes ago, so I decided to bring Torch on the pod to dive deeper into the lasting impact our country’s history has on us as husbands.

Torch Everblazing has such a rich family history, offering us a window into our own family lives and legacies. His earnestness inspired me to approach my own history with my parents with more empathy and understanding.

This episode is a perspective-shifting journey into the black family experience in South Africa. So, brew some coffee, grab your favourite tennis biscuits, cozy up by the heater, and get ready to have a heartfelt call with your parents and kids afterward.

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RIDE TILL THE WHEELS FALL OFF

I've recently been deeply focused on exploring what true oneness looks like in marriage. After all, marriage is fundamentally about becoming one with your spouse. As a husband, you make a daily choice to grow and solidify this oneness with your wife. Pulling in different directions is a sure way to create distance and potentially end the relationship.

In this episode, we are thrilled to have Loyiso Bala join us to define and share how he and his wife have cultivated oneness and developed a healthy partnership in their marriage.

Loyiso and his wife have also worked professionally together practically their whole marriage, so, how have they managed to keep everything together and achieve such remarkable growth in both their family and business.

This conversation also delves into the themes of legacy, fatherhood, and faith. It was an absolute pleasure to have this legend sit across the table with us, offering his insights and experiences. 

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We had the pleasure of engaging in a conversation with Dr. Marilyn C. Saunders, a significant voice on marriage within the South African context.

Dr. Saunders sheds light on significant topics that might seem straightforward but prove challenging in practice. One such topic is respect for the husband. This often contentious issue needs thorough and honest exploration, as addressing it can yield significant benefits in marriage.

Additionally, we discuss how husbands can be more conscious, curious, and courageous in their marriages. This segment is essential viewing—don't miss it!

Lastly, we delve into the concept of partnership in marriage and how husbands can navigate the dynamics with extended family members who often have opinions about their wife and marriage. Remember to like, comment, and subscribe for more insightful content

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If you're seriously considering marriage, LISTEN TO THIS!

ALREADY MARRIED? This episode will be a sobering refresher on some things you might (and probably have) dropped the ball on.

We want to inspire more men to not only consider marriage but to actually take the plunge. It was an absolute privilege to sit down with a future husband who asks all the questions we often only realize after we're already married. Think of this episode as your "I'm asking for a friend" moment, where you can be completely open and transparent about your inquiries.

That's exactly what Bigstar Johnson does here. He has an incredibly curious mind and loves to dig deeper into matters, making this episode a joy to produce. Sit back, listen in, and take it all in. Don't miss out on this invaluable conversation about marriage.

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In this episode , we explore the critical role marriage plays in safeguarding and enhancing your sex life. A healthy sexual relationship within a marriage goes beyond physical satisfaction; it's about fostering deep emotional connections, building trust, and ensuring mutual respect.

As a Public Health Specialist, Themba brings to light the harsh realities of men's sexual health, emphasizing the urgent need for a conscious approach to how we treat this gift of sex, both before and especially within marriage. He challenges us to rethink our attitudes and behaviours towards sex, advocating for marriages of high quality as essential safe spaces where true intimacy can thrive.

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For those who are regulars here, you know that part of my biggest motivation for creating this content is my own broken relationship with my father. In this episode, the relevancy of a father in a son's life who becomes a husband later is highlighted so clearly. Fathers are extremely important in the life of a boy, and this importance is seen so much when this boy becomes a man, especially when he becomes a husband and father himself.

Themba is such a dynamic dude, and his storytelling ability really brings the heart of this episode to the foreground. As he takes us through his life with his father, I found myself holding back lumps in my throat. We delve into the state of fatherlessness in South Africa, the need for a father’s voice in a man’s life, and the confidence a father’s presence builds in a son who becomes a husband.

Reflecting on my own experience, I realize how deeply a father's influence—or the lack thereof—can shape our paths as men, husbands, and fathers. This episode resonates with me on a personal level, as it underscores the vital role fathers play in nurturing and guiding their sons into confident, capable men.