That Was Disappointing...

Episode 071 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Finally something we’re experts in. No, not masturbating. We’re saving that episode for after the holiday season.

Today’s Theme: Podcasting. Ooo… how meta!

Our first topic is if the popularity of podcasts is sustainable. Hey, we’re still going strong more than a year out, right? Right!? Still, perhaps Lex is right when he says we’ll fade into obscurity ala Pete Best of The Beatles. Or would that make Producer Kenny our Ringo?

Our second topic is what would be the alternate theme for your podcast. Robert asks if we were barred from being “disappointing,” what route we’d have gone instead. Easy, we’d be playing video games. As in, actually playing video games, not doing a podcast about the f-ing topic. 

Our third topic is throwing you all a bone: what’s a million $$$ podcast idea that no one’s come up with yet? Don’t say we’ve never done anything for our listeners as we struck gold in them thar hills with this topic. Hell, Art is already living in Aruba off his newfound fame… or is that Skid Row?

Our final topic is whether or not the deluge of podcasts is a good thing. Well, I suppose no one’s ripped off our name and/or premise yet, so that’s probably a good thing. Still, Dan wonders if there can be too much of a good thing. The answer is “yes,” unless we’re talking about lube.

Episode 070 of That Was Disappointing is Live. In the words of our prophet:

“Me mind on fire

Me soul on fire, feeling hot, hot, hot

Party people

All around me feeling hot, hot, hot

What to do on a night like this

Music sweet, I can't resist

We need a party song

A fundamental jam

So we go rum-bum-bum-bum

Yeah, we rum-bum-bum-bum

Feeling hot, hot, hot

Feeling hot, hot, hot, oh, Lord”

~ Buster Poindexter

Today’s Theme: Hot Sauce 2. AKA: The Sphincter Strikes Back. AKA: The Temple of Poo. AKA: The Toilet Bowl of Secrets.

“Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it” is a fitting adage for this episode. Our intestines are still talking to us a few days after the fact, thanks in no small part to Producer Kenny’s decision to have us eat a hot sauce derived from the Carolina Reaper (and Trinidad Scorpion) during the episode. Thanks again for that, asshat. Join Art, Lex, and their homies Devon and Ryan as they suffer for your listening pleasure. And be sure to catch our Facebook Live replay on our Facebook page. You know that we have a Facebook page, right?

Episode 069 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Such a sexy number for such a spooooooky episode.

Today’s Theme: Halloween. What’s scarier than a ghost? Your Mom. Bonus points awarded if she’s already dead.

Our first topic is your favorite costume from year’s past. Lex was going to do something with Alec Baldwin this year, so we’ve immediately enrolled him in sensitivity training. Meanwhile, Producer Kenny is going as Lady Godiva, gentlemen/ladies…

Our second topic is the crappiest “treat” you got while trick-or-treating. Do people really get religious pamphlets? Fortunately, that never happened to Ben as everyone already knew where he was going. “One of us, one of us!”

Our third topic is your best Halloween shindig ever. Is anyone else surprised that Art’s best Halloween party didn’t turn into an orgy? I know it’s hard to believe, but he was quite the stud muffin in his youth. Now he just has a muffin top. Hiyo!

Our final topic is when (if ever) it’s too early to decorate for Halloween. We still have our Christmas tree up from last year. Why the hell are you asking us? Seriously though, it’s never too early, Al. Don’t forget to bring the Home Depot 12-foot Skelton up from your sex dungeon first.

Episode 068 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

That’s one spicy meatball, Chef Boyardee.

Today’s Theme: Flashback Time! Breathing fire from our mouth and expelling it from our ass.

Yep, we mailed it in and decided to share a Facebook Live episode recorded earlier this year, where our (prior) producer supplied us with hot sauce to douse wings in. The results were… disappointing, but we’ve decided to make up for it by recording a Hot Sauce Part Deux! On Friday, October 29th at 10:30pm EST/7:30pm PST, also on Facebook Live. This time Producer Kenny is really bringing the heat , supplying us with nuclear-style sauces and detailed instructions for how to douse our wings. God help us…

Episode 067 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

To boldly go to infinity and beyond. Wait — what?

Today’s Theme: Star Trek. Picard is better than Kirk. Don’t @ us.

Our first topic is the Prime Directive: Necessary or Horseshit? Lex has had it up to here with the hypocrisy of Starfleet Command. Not to mention the douchebaggery of the jerk in My Octopus Teacher. How does it tie in? Do you care? Please like and subscribe regardless.

Our second topic is the worst episode of Star Trek. Wasn’t there an episode where Kirk became a shitty lawyer for a Boston firm? Seriously though, Kelly loves both her Trek and Tribbles, meaning there’s at least one episode that was spared her wrath. ❤️

Our third topic is the Star Trek character you’d like to have dinner with. Of course, some sexual hijinks/kinks were discussed during this conversation. Would you expect any less from something from the mind of Art? Fortunately, all we have to worry about in Producer Kenny’s head is a hamster in a running wheel…

Our final topic is whether Star Trek will ever be able to do a series that doesn’t require time travel. “Sir this is an Arby’s!” For what it’s worth, Ken will scream about this trope to everyone he meets on the street. What can we say? He really has a hard-on for Quantum Leap.

Episode 066 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

What if… we named our podcast That Was NOT Disappointing?

Today’s Theme: Marvel Comics. You know, the studio (w/ an assist from Disney) behind the comic book films that people actually like.

Our first topic is the obscure character you’d like to see get their own intellectual property. Art tried to cheat (surprise!) and name someone who was featured on 2-3 pages of a single issue storyline. At least he was keeping with the concept of the podcast. Keep reaching for the gold, homie.

Our second topic is the Marvel film you’d like to see get the Warner Brothers/DC treatment. This is why we can’t have nice things, Kevin. You shouldn’t wish that fate upon your worst enemy. I mean, maybe Producer Kenny, but to be fair, he knows what he did…

Our third topic is the character you’d be happy if Thanos were to snap out of existence. Lex was trying to be all M. Night Shyamalan and say that Thanos should snap himself out of existence. Lame! We’re thankful he doesn’t snap any of our panelists, because it’d be hard to find others dumb enough to do this show.

Our final topic is the character you feel has inexplicable popularity. For his premiere with the show, Big Ben Kennedy (!) chose Deez Nuts, which technically isn’t a Marvel property. After he’s done our show a few times, we’ll have squashed his spirit enough that he falls in line. ❤️

Episode 065 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Do you know what Friends is without the laugh track? This podcast! No, that’s not a compliment!!!

Today’s Theme: The 1990’s Part Deux Electric Boogaloo

Our first topic is the best/worst year of the decade. 1993 is right up there (as far as the shits go) for Lex. Who knew kids could be so cruel? Well, Producer Kenny did, but he was also one of the punks giving him swirlies. All is forgiven though. Revenge is best served cold…

Our second topic is the do-over you’d like to see from the decade. I guess Ben isn’t worried about the butterfly effect. But then again, could things really be any worse? However, he might lose out on that trip he won to Aruba on Let’s Make a Deal, so I guess there’s that.

Our third topic is your favorite funny/embarrassing story from the decade. Art’s involved shitting his pants in class. Or maybe it didn’t. Wouldn’t that make for a better story though? I mean, for those who know him, would it make you bat an eye if that was his revelation? I thought so.

Our final topic is your hangout spot from the decade. Robert used to hang out at the mall. How original! I bet he loved Jolt Cola and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers too. If this topic taught us anything, it’s that none of us had lives. The more things change…

Episode 064 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We put the “boobs” in boob tube.

Today’s Theme: TV. Otherwise known as ye olde idiot box. I mean, we turned out fine, right? *sobs*

Our first topic is the popular show you felt was just the absolute shits. Reality TV, come on down! Speaking of which, we’re kind of surprised Art’s choice wasn’t Maury, given the amount of paternity suits he had against him now. Zing!

Our second topic is reminiscent of our show… it’s garbage. As in, what is your go to trash TV? Sean couldn’t live without the Travel Channel, given his penchant for paranormal programming. Guess that explains his affinity for being ghosted. Hiyo!

Our third topic is the decade of TV you feel was the best. Surprisingly, every panelist had a different decade. Lex’s was the 1840’s, but we still gave him an E for effort. Meanwhile, Producer Kenny chose the 1980’s due to his affinity for Mrs. Garrett. “Girls, girls, girls!”

Our final topic is the show that started great, only to end disastrously. So many choices, so little time. I mean, the industry is just one giant cesspool. Hell, the only show Ben likes is Let’s Make a Deal, and that’s because he was able to con a free trip to Aruba out of Wayne Brady.

Episode 063 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Why is no one interested in this f-ing topic!?

Today’s Theme: Guilty Pleasures. We all have them, but only one panelist wants to talk about them. Go figure!

Our first topic is the disgustingly delicious thing you eat after a shit-filled day. What do Lex and Andrew Zimmern both have in common? They’ve both ate insects. That’s not what the former has after a stinker of a day, but we’re not above humiliating him. Love/hate ya, Sexy Lexi!

Our second topic is the guilty pleasure that helps you pass the time. Dan didn’t say masturbation. Huzzah! I mean, the rest of us said masturbation, but we’re glad the cream (pun intended) of the crop of guest panelists rose to the occasion (ditto).

Our third topic is the stigma around guilty pleasures. That is, why should we be ashamed of something that makes us feel so good? Art certainly isn’t; he loves the smell of napalm in the morning. Are we talking cinema or homemade explosives? Well, you’ll just have to listen and find out… grasshopper.

Our final topic is the YouTube video that pulls you from the doldrums. Done in one: YATTA. Okay, maybe Producer Kenny (and honorary panelist for this episode) chose something different, but can we just admit he’s wrong and move on. “It’s so easy… happy-go-lucky…”

Be sure to check out Art's other podcast Subversive Cinema. He needs all the help he can get.

Episode 062 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We’re the Thursday Night Football of podcasts.

Today’s Theme: The NFL. Go Dallas Renegades!

Our first topic goes straight for the jugular: what team will win it all this year? Art doesn’t know anything about American Fussball, but that hasn’t stopped him from talking out of his arse before. See Episodes #1-#61 of your most (un)favorite broadcast.

Our second topic is the position you’d play/fill for your team. Yes, by “fill” we’re even counting positions like the waterboy. Yes, Kevin would be happy to be the tight end for his beloved Dallas Cowboys. And no, we’re not going to touch that one with a 10-foot pole.

Our third topic is what new rule should the league institute. Penetrating the tight end is not allowed, Lex. Nice try though. As for Producer Kenny’s suggestion of land mines being randomly buried around the gridiron, can’t we wait until it’s a couple of cellar dwellers playing… or the Steelers?

Our final topic is player safety come post-career. Nothing funny about that, but we will end with a joke. Jeff has been racking his brain trying to remember what the American sitcom set in a bar was called. Any help would be appreciated. Cheers! Okay, we’ll sure ourselves out.