That Was Disappointing...

Episode 091 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

“Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Art having a kid. Mass hysteria!”

Today’s Theme: Fatherhood. Specifically, the trials and tribulations our friend has to look forward to. What do you mean babies can’t just use the litter box?

While he doesn’t have the same smarts or sex appeal as Danny Tanner (R.I.P. Bob Saget), Art decided to give this whole parenting thing a try. Wait — between Lex and Producer Kenny, who’s the Uncle Jesse of the group? And why will they fight each other to the death to save them from the distinction of being Uncle Joey?

Listen in wonder/embarrassment as the two other hopeless causes try to impart some wisdom on this topic. Hey, at least Art cleaned his first few diapers like a champ. Now if only he could take care of his own. Hiyoooo!

TWD Tip of the Week: The largest number of babies born to a single woman was 69. That’s absolutely true, BTW. It was a Russian peasant in the 18th century. We feel like this podcast was born just to being this knowledge to you.

Episode 090 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Getting back to themed episodes. It’s like we have a plan or some shit.

Today’s Theme: Space. Yeah, we’re double dipping with this topic but a) new format ya mooks b) there’s a lot of shit currently going on above the Karman line and c) Twi’lek sex. That last point might not be covered but it’s still perfectly valid.

The good news: Friend-of-the-show Kelly joins us to talk about some of the big things happening in E.T.’s backyard. The even better news: Art’s away for the week (more on that next week). Everything’s coming up Milhouse!

We’d mention how much smoother the show ran without 20+ drops a minute, but that would be uncouth. Just like talking about the size or Lex’s penis or Producer Kenny’s hemorrhoids… or did I have that backwards?

TWD Tip of the Week: Yo Mama is so fat she could hula hoop with Saturn’s rings.

Episode 089 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We didn’t give up on our new format after one week. Huzzah!

Today’s Theme: Errr… I guess the topic is Ben? We’re still feeling out this new format too, ya jerks.

Double the laughs in half the time. That’s what we’re telling ourselves at least. Hell, this episode is worth it alone for the perplexed looks we receive from one of our (least) favorite returning panelists, the always lovely, Ben.

Don’t worry, we actually have a topic prepared for next week. And better yet, it’ll be our first time without Art, so no sound drops of “dropping loads,” “pog champ,” etc. It’ll be the most blissful 30 minutes of audio ever recorded. And depending on how many downloads the episode receives, it may convince us to kick his ass to the curb once and for all.

TWD Tip of the Week: Moderation is key. Wang Chung didn’t have fun every night.

Episode 088 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

“Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, Turn and face the strange…” R.I.P. David Bowie (AKA: Thin White Duke). This episode isn’t about you (and you’ve been dead for 5+ years) but you’re forever in our hearts.

Today’s Theme: Out with the old, in with the new. We’re revamping things for the apocalypse. Huzzah!

There’s lots of things happening with the podcast. Art’s having a baby. Lex is running off to train “BBJ” with the Garcia’s in Brazil (doesn’t he mean Gracie’s… ?) and Producer Kenny is doing something or other. Well, so he says anyway.

Anyway, it’s as good a time as any to reboot your most/least favorite podcast. We’re striving to give you twice the laughs in half the time. And hey, if it doesn’t workout, just think of us at the Dallas season finale that retconned the death of Patrick Duffy’s character. The only difference being we’ll drop the soap in the shower…

Episode 087 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

If the choice were listening to this podcast or getting eaten by a grizzly… well, take all the time you need.

Today’s Theme: Camping. You know, the thing we’ll all be doing more of (w/ our caravans) after the bombs start to fall in… 3… 2…

Our first topic is a special from one of our dim-witted hosts: Why? Lex has never been camping, so he doesn’t allure the rest of us weirdos have about it. Of course, he’s also led a sheltered life, so he hasn’t done a lot of things like jump out of an airplane, go zip lining, wipe his own ass, etc.

Our second topic is your fave spot to camp. Kelly isn’t picky over the location provided there’s ample opportunity to Glamp. Just kidding! That’s Producer Kenny. He isn’t going anywhere without the comfort and luxuries of his humble abode. Like his Discman Portable CD Player.

Our third topic is your culinary skills around the fire. Specifically, do you keep your food preparation simple or go all-out with a gourmet feast. Art’s knowledge would make the execs at Stouffer’s and Bamquet blush. Next step on his journey? Knocking those jerkoffs at Kid Cuisine down a peg.

Our final topic is the best camping story from your childhood. All the feels but with less repellent. Ryan’s involved the many (doomed) friends he met at Camp Crystal Lake. Which begs the question, how did Ryan escape from this location with his life? Unless… ki ki ki, ma ma ma…

Episode 086 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

As Winston Churchill once said, “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” Pffft! What does that jerkoff know?

Today’s Theme: Topic Grab Bag. Totally taking a trip down memory lane with this one. Definitely NOT doing this because something went awry with the scheduling. No sirree, Bob!

Our first topic is a meditation on the delicate art of ball/bush shaving. Yeah, it hurts but it’s not the 70’s anymore… hippie. Art went the extreme route and waxed his taint too. Why he felt the need to share this (let alone complete this task) is anyone’s guess, although we appreciate his candor. 

Our second topic is what you wanted to be when you were growing up. You know, when we still had dreams and weren’t chained to a cubicle. Kelly wanted to be a) involved with NASA and b) President of the moon, so she made it halfway to her goal. Better than Producer Kenny, who merely wanted to explore the waxed area around Art’s uranus.

Our third topic is the popularity of Episode 18. The episode that’s blown every other episode out of the water in downloads, and none of us have the faintest idea why. Two boring guests, an in-depth discussion of Marxist theory and Lex failed to mention “BBJ” once. WHY IS THIS POPULAR!?

Our final topic is your craziest coworker story. Because we all have one, and if you don’t, it’s because you’re that crazy coworker. Like Robert, who worked with a guy that participated in the January 6th attempted insurrection. Or maybe it’s Tyler Durden and that was him. Dun dun DUUUN!

Episode 085 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Or when the Love Boat meets the iceberg.

Today’s Theme: Love is in the air, fools. Or maybe that’s nuclear fallout. Anything is bound to happen in this day and age…

Happy Valentine’s Day lovers/haters! Regardless of your relationship status, Hallmark is still gonna make some serious bank today. Which just goes to show you, creating a holiday from scratch can have it works. That’s why henceforth the 69th day of every year (screw you, February!) will be known as That Was Disappointing Day. *shriveled up eggplant emoji*

Join Art, Lex and Producer Kenny, as their far better halfs (Ashley, Alyson and Kerrianne, respectively) shoot the shit on their relationships and make you feel infinitely better about yours. ❤️

Episode 084 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We’re the Madden Curse of podcasts.

Today’s Theme: Super Bowl. We recorded this episode prior to the Championship games, so you can probably guess how well our predictions turned out…

Our first topic is the ultimate Super Bowl commercial. Difficulty: you have to create it. Listen as Art musters all of the creative talent in his pores only to muster one wet fart of an idea. The fact that he’s discussed Michael Bay on back to-back episodes is extremely telling.

Our second topic is your first memories of the big game. Apparently, Justin didn’t get enough punishment last week as he’s back to take another licking. Hopefully, Producer Kenny’s a little easier on his younger bro now than in their youth. His purple nurples are said to be legendary.

Our third topic is your pick this year. So the big game is between the Cincinnati Bengals and Los Angeles Rams… pretty sure none of our panelists picked that matchup. Mazel tov, Lex! Now, just think how dumb you’re going to look if a certain country isn’t invaded in a few weeks.

Our final topic is the three people (dead or alive), you’d like to see share the stage at the halftime show. Chris must’ve used part of his sabbatical to brainstorm decent topics (for a change). The fact so many of us picked dead artists speaks to the current state of the music industry, eh?

Episode 083 of That Was Disappointing is Live. We’re the Curling of podcasts. We still haven’t made it to the podium yet. :-(

Today’s Theme: Winter Olympics.

How many gold medals do you think Michael Phelps will win this go round?

Our first topic is whether there should even be an Olympics this year. Lex thinks the pandemic, charges of ethnic cleansing against the host country, etc., could put a damper on things. Pffft! We don’t pay him to think. In fact, we don’t pay him at all and he’s still overpaid.

Our second topic is what sport you’d like to see switch from the Summer to Winter games and/or vice versa. Ryan thinks it’d be fun to watch the guys/gals swim in a frozen lake. Sounds like this would be something more for the Squid Games, but what’s life without the chance of flatlining, right?

Our third topic is one for the ages: How would you plan a kickass Michael Bay halftime show? Art moved out to Hollywood to live the movie star life. Sadly, this is as close as he’ll get to that dream. Then again, maybe the Baymeister will do a vanity search on his name, discover Arthur and this will be his big break. Stranger things have happened. Or not. *shrugs*

Our final topic is the sport you’d like to see “invented” that you’d be able to earn a gold medal in. Producer Kenny’s bother, Not-Producer Justin, is bringing this topic to the table. We’d say he nailed it, but… well, let’s just say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the family orchard.

Episode 082 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We’re the Hechinger of podcasts. Google it!

Today’s Theme: Home Improvements. What was Wilson doing behind that fence all the time? And was there a glory hole… ?

Our first topic is the home improvement that you completely ducked up. *quack* Art’s gotta face the fact that he’s more Red Green than Bob Vila. That’s a shoutout for our Canadien listeners. There might only be 3 of you, but we’re all aboot your love.

Our second topic is the renovation you’d have done right now with a $5K budget. Guess that in-ground pool is gonna have to wait, eh Kat? To be fair, there’s a lot you can do with that amount of money in today’s economy. Like get an estimate!

Our third topic is your Trading Spaces fantasy/nightmare. Yep, Lex wants to know what neighbor you’d trade homes with and what area of the house you’d like then to refurbish. Just don’t mess with his sex dungeon. His dom would only punish him more. :-(

Our final topic is smart home innovations we’d like to see in the future. To the surprise of us all, Ryan’s vote wasn’t for a smart bidet. His heart is still set on that three seashell method from Demolition Man. Producer Kenny could tell you how it works but it’s gonna cost you (your wang).