That Was Disappointing...

Episode 081 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We’re all still white belts at this thing we call “life.” *gongs*

Today’s Theme: Martial Arts. Something we’re all experts at. Hell, I’ve seen Kung Fu Panda at least 3x.

Our first topic is the martial art you’d want to master. Believe it or not, Lex did not select “BBJ,” proving once more he’s an embarrassment both on-and-off the podcast. Producer Kenny chose Spank The Monkey form and we’re not entirely sure if he meant Drunken Monkey…

Our second topic is the martial arts film that began your journey. Ben actually chose Three Ninjas, which is hysterical as a) he’s a black belt in karate and b) those kids could still whip his ass. Meanwhile, will Surf Ninjas ever get the respect it deserves?

Our third topic is the best martial art PERIOD. A lot of dick measuring here, which is ironic as Art has next to no training in any form. Seriously, he’s half-Brazilian and the only way he’s honored his ancestors is by getting a bikini wax… on his head. Hiyo!

Our final topic is how our martial arts backgrounds have served us in street combat. Trust us, you’re not going to be impressed. It sounds like Al has the most street cred, which should help everyone sleep more soundly at night. *sobs*

Episode 080 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Sit, Ubu, Sit. No, don’t shit on the floor!

Today’s Theme: Pets. Our cuddly (unless they’re amphibians or arachnids) critters that get oodles of pampering. Talk about the high life!

Our first topic is how many pets are too many. Lex has rescued more than his fair share of kittie cats, but he’s happy to say his house hasn’t appeared in a commercial (w/ background vocals from Sarah McLaughlin) yet. Fortunately, the only stench of feces comes from his very own commode.

Our second topic is the grossest thing our furry friends do. They eat turds and vomit (sometimes not even their own), so you’d think this would be done in one, but Cassy took us down an even darker path. Just don’t ask Producer Kenny pooch about the jar of chunky peanut butter in his house.

Our third topic is the topic of taxidermy: thoughtful or WTF? Because he’s a fan of the macabre and/or just a terrible person, Art wants to know how we feel about getting Man’s best friend stuffed in death. Suddenly, the peanut butter story in the last entry seems saccharin.

Our final topic is the funny quirks our furballs have. All jokes aside, we love our little jerks and consider them family. Especially Kelly, who dresses her cats in baby clothes and feeds them from a bottle. Remember folks, she’s not stuck in there with them… they’re stuck in there with her…

Episode 079 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Oh, the halcyon days of yore when masturbation was of utmost importance… why hasn’t anything changed!?

Today’s Theme: Follies of Youth. Did you know at least one member of our staff (name rhymes with Bart Small) has outstanding warrants in at least 4 states?

Our first topic is the dumbest thing you did/biggest lesson you learned in your early life. The mistakes Art has made could fill a book, we’re talking War and Peace. Did anyone ever actually read that, BTW? Considering it’s lack of pop-ups, we’re going to venture a guess we didn’t miss much.

Our second topic is really lighthearted: should you be dead by now? Kevin says “yes” rather enthusiastically, so either he has a guardian angel on his shoulder or someone has a sick sense of humor. We’re gonna guess he’s still here for a reason though, even if it is just to prattle on about pro wrestling.

Our third topic is the biggest misconception you had about the birds and the bees. You’ll be surprised that Lex had an embarrassing story to share… said no one ever. Meanwhile, Producer Kenny is still disappointed that interspecies erotica doesn’t exist between our avian and apiary friends.

Our final topic is the mistake that haunted you for years. We’d say it’s the fact Ben gave up his martial arts training, but we’ve also seen him in a Gi. #Yikes At least he didn’t do anything to further tarnish his reputation. You know, like be a semi-regular on a shitty podcast.

Episode 078 of That Was Disappointing is Live. 2022 has got to be better, right? Right!?

Today’s Theme: Year in Review.

From the storming of the Capitol to Tiger King 2, we’re now dealing with back-to-back years that have been the shits.

Join Art, Lex, and Producer Kenny as they chat about the “best” of 2021. How they were able to stay (somewhat) sober for the entire episode is anyone’s guess. Truth be told, as long as you download/subscribe, they’ll tell you anything you want to hear. No, that dress doesn’t make you look fat. Yes, your dick is bigger than theirs. Yes, they’d be happy to run a train on your mom. Hiyoooo! Seriously though, please let the new year bring better viewership. ❤️

Episode 077 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Shitter was full, ya filthy animals. Yippie-Ki-Yay, Movie House!

Today’s Theme: It’s our Awkward Office Holiday Party. Come for the hot chocolate, stay for the heavy petting.

It’s that time of the year again, boys and girls. When St. Nick sticks his merry old fat-ass down the chimney and gifts the lot of us a bevy of sweet swag like new socks and unstained undies. Hey, maybe he’ll actually bring us something good this year… like a 2022 that doesn’t suck. Nevermind. He just looked at our internet search history and put us on the naughty list for the remainder of the decade. *sad trombone*

Episode 076 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

“Who's the leader of the club

That's made for you and me

E-A-T M-Y A-S-S-H-O-L-E”

Today’s Theme: Disney.

In other news, Art will be looking for a new job by the end of this episode.

Our first topic is a fight, believe it or not, between Lex (w/ his “BBJ” skills) and any Disney character of your choosing. I mean, if we’re going live action too, there’s a bevy of characters that can hand him his ass from Uncle Remus to Hayley Mills, amirite?

Our second topic is from Ashley (Art’s better half) and asks us to name our favorite theme park and why. I mean, Animal Kingdom has to be the winner… unless you have a zoo in your area… or you don’t give a flying f*ck about Avatar.

Our third topic is from Art (Ashley’s not-so better half) and asks what cherished Disney film is really the shits. If we’re counting Pixar, it has to be one of those films that tugs at the old strings. We go to the movies to gorge and clog our arteries, not to feel.

Our final topic is Kerrianne (Producer Kenny’s sugar mama) and asks what is the first magical Disney moment you remember.

And if you didn’t have one before now, it’s have to be this podcast, right? We’re known for putting the fun into funerals.

Episode 075 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

The North Remembers… just how much this series blew.

Today’s Theme: Game of Thrones. We’re nothing if not timely. The sinking of the Lusitania is on our docket for next week.

Put up your dukes! Seriously, this is a hot button issue for some of our hosts/panelists (Lex, show us on a doll where D & D touched you), but it does teach the rest of us a valuable lesson… just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. If your bartender doesn’t cut you off, it might not be the best idea to get behind the wheel. Similarly, just because there’s a lot of blow in the writer’s room, doesn’t mean you need to snort it all. The More You Know!

Episode 074 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

We’re so homely, even serial killers aren’t interested in us.

Today’s Theme: True Crime. The opposite of petty larceny. But let’s be honest, we stole your heart from Episode 001.

Our first topic is the serial killers that terrified you the most. Yeah, they’re all skeevy POS, but some have modus operandi that would make even us potential victims. Well, everyone but Lex. Hell, even Typhoid Mary would reject him.

Our second topic is the unsolved crime you’d like to see, er… solved. Think Magic Eye meets Where’s Waldo, but on steroids. Kat’s still trying to figure out the mystery of how we talked her into doing this show again. We’d say it’s our puppy dog eyes, but she has a newborn at home (congrats!)

Our third topic is your choice for best/worst crime series. Oh, like that channel that shows nothing but reenactments of spouses trying to bump each other off? As an expectant father, Art’s wife already got what she needed. Nice knowing you, homie.

Our final topic is why we all like this disturbing garbage so much. Hell, even Producer Kenny stops masturbating to watch the latest episode of Unsolved Mysteries… or was that Tiger King? He doesn’t really stop, does he?

Episode 073 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

The green bean casserole of podcasts. No, that’s not a compliment.

Today’s Theme: Thanksgiving. Not gonna mean a lot to our foreign listeners, but it’s another excuse for us Americans to gorge our fat asses. U-S-A! U-S-A!

There’s a lot we have to be thankful for this year. COVID, insurrections, genital warts — wait, this year sucked! Fortunately, we still have each other and what better way to celebrate Turkey Day than to shoot the shit with a bunch of our friends. Hey, if you think this is wild, just wait until you hear our Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus episode in a few weeks. We already know someone’s going to spike the eggnog (Producer Kenny) and someone’s going to get naked (Art). And yes, there’s little doubt someone’s going to mention “BBJ” (Lex).

OMG, we’re the Uncle Eddie of our families.

Episode 072 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

This episode is the shits. Seriously!

Today’s Theme: Toys. If we were talking about sex toys, it would somehow be less offensive to the ears than this travesty.

So, gonna keep it real with y’all. This show is called That was Disappointing, but it’s usually pretty damn good. Subscribers are going up and we have a CRAZY amount of downloads (hello India!) right now. That said, there are some times where things don’t live up to our “standards” and this episode is a shining example. As we’re not perfect, we thought we would give our fans a peek behind the curtain and show them what a steaming turd looks like. Watch this be our most downloaded episode yet…

Please, don’t hold this episode against us. 🙏🏼