After a holiday toast from the aged-out gasbag to his favorite creatures of the internet, we end the year with the important questions: Are phones too loud? Is listening on 1.5x speed insane? Should people post more ugly pictures of themselves? Can scammers really fake it ’til they make it? And are teenagers running the New York Jets? Plus: poetry-reading, grief-eating, the murder era of content, the quantum of dishonesty and the inevitable destruction that comes with inflated ego.

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