The AMPire Diaries

The AMPire Diaries Episode 22: “The Sun Also Rises” | “As I Lay Dying”

AMPies, it’s here: It’s the Season 2 finale of The Vampire Diaries (and The AMPire Diaries… duh). Yes, we are moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, with “The Sun Also Rises” (Season 2, Episode 21) and “As I Lay Dying” (Season 2, Episode 22). Tears for years, y’all. But also some patented AMPie Queen stupidity.

So, what are we talking this week?

- The cancelation of one Miss Lea Michele. Sort of.

- Klaus’ old coffin trick.

- Morgan calls Jeremy and Bonnie "lovers."

- The return of Vicki's vest.

- How Morgan has broken LaToya's brain by doing this podcast.

- Quarries… They have rocks, right?

- "There all is aching."

- How this is a pro-drinking podcast.

- Matt's very cool jacket... and less cool home life.

- What Jill thinks Klaus and Elijah's siblings are like.

- Boys punching walls.

- John Gilbert, possibly being good.

- The Originals as a sitcom.

- Good boys talking about being good boys.

- Greta Martin, Cool Girl.

- Klaus saying “goddesses.”

- Bonnie saying “phesmatos, bitch.”

- Jill talking to Past Jill.

- BIRDY, BABY.

- The best friendship of Tyler and Elena.

- Gone With The Wind and if we should do a commentary episode where we watch all 1,000 hours of Gone With The Wind.

- don't_cry_out_loud.mp3

- Us drinking more.

- tHE gILberT cHaRm.

- Jill’s wishes for Season 3 of The Vampire Diaries.

- And our crushes for the entire season.

“THE SACRIFICE RITUAL BEGINS” (“The Sun Also Rises”)

“THE BOND BETWEEN BROTHERS” (“As I Lay Dying”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Come on: You totally read “THE SACRIFICE RITUAL BEGINS” in Klaus’ accent. Sounds AMPED to me.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “The Sun Also Rises”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce6W5Gr9_X8

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Sun Also Rises”: The ritual to break the Sun and the Moon Curse.

The Official CW Promo for “As I Lay Dying”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGq9JHA0_Qw

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “As I Lay Dying”: Gone With The Wind, because this is the South.

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts. The first 10 episodes (including the introduction episode) of The AMPire Diaries are also still available to stream over on the podcast feed for LaToya’s TV podcast with Maura Kate Elliott, The Televoid.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

BONUS: The White Male Canon (Episode 21 Bonus Clip)

With no boy around to rein us in, your AMPie Queens become misandrists during this particular bonus clip. Don’t worry, though: It all ends up circling back to The Vampire Diaries, which is actually impressive for a bonus clip. Especially one that comes for Citizen Kane the way that this one does.

BONUS: Teenage Bounty Hunters: The Game Show (Episode 21 Bonus Clip)

Well, we recorded this clip during a glorious time when Netflix hadn’t yet canceled Teenage Bounty Hunters, which is why you can hear joy in our voices during this. You (and Jill) should definitely still watch the show though. And Morgan’s going to tell you why!

SPOILER WARNING: We do a little spoilage for the series once it comes to Morgan’s ace in the hole. So, you’ve been warned.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 21: “Klaus” | “The Last Day”

After celebrating Morgan’s birth, we are finally moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, AMPies, with “Klaus” (Season 2, Episode 19) and “The Last Day” (Season 2, Episode 20). Klaus is finally, truly here, and in the past, we thought he would overtake Tyler as Jill’s “guy!” We were wrong… and you can hear that here!

But what else are we talking this week?

- Has Jill turned a corner on flashbacks? (No.)

- Morgan and LaToya’s Andie Star love.

- The Originals, the series.

- More about what Morgan spoiled last week.

- Morgan's Ric/Damo fanfic.

- The Sun and the Moon curse… being the ultimate Prank Sinatra.

- A Series of Unfortunate Events.

- Pivoting to becoming a "flashbacks and Jeremy" podcast.

- The "many" emotions of Klaus.

- The possibility that the Martins totally played themselves.

- Elijah’s war on books.

- Should Elena have rights?

- Much like Ben, Trevino is back! (This is a play on words based on the 2018 film Ben Is Back.)

- What Jill used to think about Tyler Lockwood.

- Morgan's thoughts on the great outdoors.

- Damon's time management skills.

- And even hybrids!

“KNOW THY ENEMY” (“Klaus”)

“NEVER IS A VERY LONG TIME” (“The Last Day”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Well, since the logline for “Klaus” is literally just the title of an episode that just happened (“Know Thy Enemy,” Season 2, Episode 17), it’s automatically out of the running. “The Last Day” wins this round by default.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Klaus”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTv5CfD4KDo

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Klaus”: Flashbacks to 1492

The Official CW Promo for “The Last Day”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbGP-6XVAWw

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Last Day”: Um… Well… Elena’s last day as an alive person

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts. The first 10 episodes (including the introduction episode) of The AMPire Diaries are also still available to stream over on the podcast feed for LaToya’s TV podcast with Maura Kate Elliott, The Televoid.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

BONUS: Jeremy (But Not The One You're Thinking Of) (Episode 20 Bonus Clip)

AMPies, if you have listened to this week’s AMPire Diaries episode, then you know that Morgan had to cut out her rant about the band Pearl Jam. But don’t worry: That rant is now here, in b-b-b-bonus clip form. So please listen as Morgan takes a firm stance against Pearl Jam, Eddie Vedder, and the song “Jeremy”... while defending The Vampire Diaries’ Jeremy in the process?!? Also, listen as Morgan makes LaToya start crying over said firm stance.

As for Jill? Well, come on: Do you really think Jill would have strong feelings about Pearl Jam either way?

The AMPire Diaries Episode 20: “Know Thy Enemy” | “The Last Dance”

🎵Oh, where oh where can my baby be?🎵

AMPies! It is time to move along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, so this week, we’re talking “Know Thy Enemy” (Season 2, Episode 17) and “The Last Dance” (Season 2, Episode 18). Which means we’ve finally met Klaus. Sort of. It’s a whole thing. As is the big mistake—HUGE—Morgan makes during this episode.

What are we talking this week? Let’s see:

- A little bit of Pearl Jam, as a treat. (For the whole meal, listen to this week’s b-b-b-bonus clip.)

- Alaric!Klaus, aka the aforementioned “a whole thing.”

- Jill’s current frustrations at this point in Season 2—and it’s not the flashbacks and lack of Tyler.

- The need for a Jenna/Matt support group.

- John Gilbert: Cuck.

- Our transparent attempt to court fans of The L-Word.

- FINALLY, THE MOONSTONE IN THE SOAP DISH

- The rising supremacy of Team Caroline/Stefan (in LaToya’s mind).

Maddox, the show’s first white witch.

- Nina Dobrev's sneaky Canadian accent.

- Carol Lockwood and Liz Forbes’ worst town cover-up ever yet.

- Old. Witch. House.

- The Fast & Furious franchise.

- The long-awaited reveal of "The Gilbert Charm."

- A new podcast game called "The Klaus I Know."

- The Dana (and Chad!) Diaries.

- AMC original series.

- The feature film Jackie. (Justice for Jackie!)

- That time Stefan slapped Jeremy.

- TOUT.

“HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT” (“Know Thy Enemy”)

“DANCING WITH DANGER” (“The Last Dance”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Much like the episode itself, gotta say, the logline for “The Last Dance” is far more AMPED than the one for “Know Thy Enemy.” Plus: puns!

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Know Thy Enemy”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t7lep_6VCM

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Know Thy Enemy”: The Mystic Falls Historical Society/Miranda Sommers-Gilbert Scholarship Fund… thing

The Official CW Promo for “The Last Dance”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7OusEb7Teg

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Last Dance”: Mystic Falls High’s ‘60s Decade Dance

The “Lawnmower Scene” from Mad Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI2A8bQv2xA

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts as well as wherever you get your podcasts. The first 10 episodes (including the introduction episode) of The AMPire Diaries are also still available to stream over on the podcast feed for LaToya’s TV podcast with Maura Kate Elliott, The Televoid.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

BONUS: Vibe Check (Episode 19 Bonus Clip)

Just when you thought you couldn’t get enough of The AMPire Diaries, The AMPire Diaries decided to give you another b-b-b-bonus clip! And this time, we’re doing a vibe check.

Specifically, a vibe check on how Jill is feeling about the show so far, but we also talk about how Morgan and LaToya are currently feeling at this point in their rewatch. Because here’s the thing: While we’re reaching the end of The Vampire Diaries Season 2 in our release schedule, we’ve just started Season 4 in our viewing schedule. Don’t worry, no spoilers—just vibes, baby.

We also address the Jeremy thing, because yes, we know we’ve been mean.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 19: “The Dinner Party” | “The House Guest” (feat. Michael Chasin)

Hey yo, AMPies! As we move along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking “The Dinner Party” (Season 2, Episode 15—LaToya’s favorite episode) and “The House Guest” (Season 2, Episode 16). And we’re doing it… with a boy. That’s right, friend of the show and resident boy Michael Chasin (@MichaelChasin) is back. (Which, of course, means “Boy Corner” is back.)

This week, we’re talking:

- Jill v. Flashbacks: Dawn of Meanness.

- They were really building up that anticipation for Klaus, weren’t they?

- Morgan and LaToya are really dumb.

- Boy stuff.

- Which TVD character is "the most goth bitch on the planet.”

- The one thing girls want.

- Things to jot down in our own vampire diaries. AND: What exactly was in Honoria Fell's diary?

- Elijah v. Books: Dawn of Oldness.

- The humanity switch as a depression metaphor, an actually serious conversation.

- TVD’s affinity for flamethrowers.

- Mystic Falls High School’s likability rankings.

- AT&T tablets… we want them.

- Which TVD characters we're most similar to.

- Who was less wrong: Doc Martin or the wolves? (Just kidding. Of course it was Doc Martin.)

- The Mystic Grill's money problems.

- The intricacies of Nina Dobrev playing Elena and Nina Dobrev playing Katherine playing Elena.

- What dat vamp blood taste like, baby?

“STEFAN TELLS ELENA ABOUT HIS DARKEST DAYS” (“The Dinner Party”)

“A NIGHT OF CONFESSIONS” (“The House Guest”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Hey, it’s true, “The House Guest” really is “A NIGHT OF CONFESSIONS”... and more AMPED.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “The Dinner Party”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKee0khiar0

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Dinner Party”: The titular dinner party

The Official CW Promo for “The House Guest”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5QvJ2PXqR4

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The House Guest”: Live music at The Bronze… er… Mystic Grill

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher, as well as wherever you get your podcasts. The first 10 episodes (including the introduction episode) of The AMPire Diaries are also still available to stream over on the podcast feed for LaToya’s TV podcast with Maura Kate Elliott, The Televoid.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

BONUS: The VirtNet Diaries (Episode 18 Bonus Clip)

Just when you thought you couldn’t get enough of The AMPire Diaries, The AMPire Diaries decided to give you a b-b-b-bonus clip! Because Episode 18 (covering “Daddy Issues” and “Crying Wolf”) just wasn’t long enough.

In that episode, Morgan brought up a book series from James Dashner, author of the Maze Runner book series. Well, in this bonus clip, Morgan does a deep dive into these books, while LaToya and Jill… well, they just listen. We know, we know: You didn’t ask for this. (Unless you’ve listened to Episode 18 already. Then you get the joke we just made there.)

The AMPire Diaries Episode 18: “Daddy Issues” | “Crying Wolf”

AMPies! Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “Daddy Issues” (Season 2, Episode 13) and “Crying Wolf” (Season 2, Episode 14).

And when we say we’re talking, we mean we’re talking a lot about:

- Does Jules… um… Does Jules wanna get wolfy with Tyler?

- “Bad Plan Steve.”

- Television's Stephen Amell (AKA “Mr. Arrow”).

- Morgan's stance on seeing people make out.

- Jill gets real about Jeremy.

- Actually, we all get kind of real about Jeremy.

- Team Stefan/Caroline finally gets a little love on the podcast.

- We’re sorry for being so mean about Jeremy.

- The Vampire Diaries prequel ideas.

- The similarities between Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec’s The Vampire Diaries and Donald Glover’s Atlanta.

- Jill takes on Stelena.

- Elena’s new role as Prank Sinatra.

- Elijah's pen name, which actually segues into this episode’s BONUS clip.

- And last but certainly not least, Action News’ Andie Star.

“CHOOSING SIDES” (“Daddy Issues”)

“SECRETS AND LIES” (“Crying Wolf”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Somehow, “SECRETS AND LIES” hadn’t been used before, but regardless, it’s not all that AMPED. “Daddy Issues” it is.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Daddy Issues”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ5H-JE-1_E

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Daddy Issues”: Kidnapping and torturing Caroline Forbes :(

The Official CW Promo for “Crying Wolf”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PDxmLBRNGI

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Crying Wolf”: HIGH TEA

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher, as well as wherever you get your podcasts. The first 10 episodes (including the introduction episode) of The AMPire Diaries are also still available to stream over on the podcast feed for LaToya’s TV podcast with Maura Kate Elliott, The Televoid.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.