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Taking a rare break from music (pause for laughter) to bring you a universally popular topic--Pizza.  Of course, we get to it and then distract ourselves a time or three.  During Errors and Omissions, we get very close to passing out while laughing.  

• Sci Fi philosophy
• Jim's gets his podcast review from Mark
• Jay Mohr
• Brokeback denial
• Newt's promo--we again get sidetracked, but maybe it's working?
• Errors and omissions--Donkey talk that gets out of hand
• Radio Game--MARK WINS*
• Fleet Farm explained
• Pizza talk
• A few left and right turns while talking pizza, but we tried to stay on track

*Mark won with Led Zeppelin, but left the money in the pot so a guest can win it.  Also, next week Jim will be the guest.

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Norm McDonald Brokeback bit (NSFW!) Bing Videos

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This one is a tad spicy and faster paced.  Makes up for when we usually mail it in.

• Early shot at Noah Lyles
• Convention synopsis
• Jim's playing hurt
• Todd O shoutout
• Mark's fashion mastery
• White socks--in or out
• Newt's--New bartender Beth is legit
• Radio Game
• Errors & Omissions
• Word game in last write up (answers in the hashtags below)
• Offensive Commercials
  • Armour Hot Dogs
  • Johnson Outboard Motors
  • Camel Cigarettes
  • Ball Zack
  • Foldgers Crystals
  • Wonder Boner
  • Calgon
  • Herbal Essence
• Sorry Mike L, but a guarantee is a guarantee

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#AndTheWinnersAre
#Should'veKnownBetter
#TouchAndGo
#DontLookBack

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We went into this episode with the best intentions of talking about singers with average-to-bad voices that worked perfectly for their band, but then Jim made a life choice at dinner.  He ordered a big salad and somehow that decision--and its aftermath--took up a healthy portion of the episode. Should've known better.

• Touch and Go
• Bert Convey reference
• Does Jim correct Mark too often?
• Grandpa Joe creeps Mark out
• Newt's--When you want a big salad too
• Lost ball penalty explained
• Snarky
• Radio Game--new and improved
• RIP Greg Kihn and Jack Russell
• Bad singers who made it work
• Just look old!
• Kool Aid.  Let's make it year-round.

There are at least three song titles in this write up.  If you spot them, let us know what they are at [email protected].  Let us know if you want a shout out or if you prefer to remain anonymous (we wish we could too).

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#DontLookBack
#GoodDaySir

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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee, and nobody doesn't like Little River Band.  It had to be said.  Join us as we rip on each other for a solid 45 minutes (but in a good way).

• Your non-political oasis
• Radio Game enhancement $$
• More on Mark's giant watch
• Golf controversy (and bonus Goldmember reference)
• Shoutout potential new listener LeeAnn (D.O.B. 1990)
• Noah Lyles--the Ram Jam of American sprinters
• Newt's--exclusive sponsors of YOUR Ascertainers!
• Radio Game 2.0 
• Brief special guest Sara!
• Go!
• Investment tips
• Little River Band
• Air Supply + Journey
• Mark's professional sign off

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#@SaraLegelTattoos
#LonesomeLosers

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When you hit rock bottom, you've got nowhere else to go but up!  Our daubers were down after last episode, but we rallied and this one is just about as good/bad as the average.  Some laughs, some interesting trivia, and (spoiler alert), nobody wins the radio game.

• Davenport
• Sears--what happened?
• Newt's--New Bartender--possibly named Beth
• A rare Audrey sighting
• Errors and Omissions
• Combined songs revisited
• The Big Ben watch
• Radio Game
• Misheard Song Lyrics

Is it true that the shorter the write up, the better the episode?  You can tell us at [email protected]

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Due to scheduling issues and a bout with Covid, we had a 3-week hiatus from recording.  You might think we'd be rejuvenated and ready to deliver some mind-blowing stuff, but we both agreed that this episode might be one of our most low-key yet.  Maybe you like that sort of thing, but we are working on bouncing back with some more upbeat stuff for our next couple.

Now you have to ask yourself--how bad could it be?  Maybe this is one of The Ascertainer's amazing head fakes where it's way better than they're advertising.  I guess you'll have to listen and find out!

• Feegee shoutout
• Deep voice vibes
• Shoutout Mark's neighbor for the cool plaque
• Newt's--got Cory laughing
• Mark's Covid barrier
• Pan O Prog Car Show
• Jim's worried about The News
• Radio Game
• Canterbury Park highlights
• Can't go for what??
• Little blue pill
• Rock songs on commercials
• Noah Lyles, the Jimmy Fallon of sprinters
• Snoop legend

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#Newts
#Funner

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Super-guest Steve (Mark's friend, not Jim's brother--who is no slouch) is on for our first ever successful 3rd recording in one session.  We really wanted to talk about 1981 music, but what do you know?  We talked mostly about cars of that era.

• Around the world with Steve
• Guest Newt's spokesman
• Radio Game
• Water beds
• Aaand we're talking cars again
• Pre cup holder
• El Dordo
• How I met your mother
• Hi FI Kenny
• Pulled over for being cool
• Radio Game part II--we have a winner!
• Farewell Steve.  Nice job!

Topic suggestions:  The [email protected]

#DrunkenFins
#Newt's
#YourCarIsSliding Away

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This is part two of our recording session with Mark's HS buddy, Steve.  So much natural conversation that we dang near blew through without an introduction and even omitted the Radio Game.  You're welcome.

• Bob Dylan fading
• Bruce Springsteen still gives it
• That time Ted Nugent babysat Steve
• Oregon Trail
• Newt's:  Because we asked nicely
• Life lessons from Charlie Daniels Band concert
• Underage drinking haunts
• Shoutout Lamont Cranston
• Duck Hunt
• Seeing your teacher at the bar
• Cutting class
• We made the paper!
• Station wagons
• Early cop encounters
• Gracious dads
• Neighbor's bush
• Met Center stories

Suggestion Box:  [email protected]

#Newt's
#Mannings
#WhatDent?

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Today we are joined by Mark's best friend from High School, Steve (not to be confused with Jim's brother Steve).  If you judge someone's character by the company they keep, Mark must be a good dude.

• RIP Saxophonists
• Newt's--New Burger of the Month and we're not even mad
• Even more disorganized live
• Shoutout Jim's car guy, Griffin
• Mark's hidden accomplishments
• Check out the big brain on Steve!
• King Mark
• Shoutout to all the Ruth's out there--and Dr Ruth
• Obligatory Meatloaf reference
• Errors and Omissions
• RIP Martin Mull
• Radio Game
• 1980's:  The beginning of the end of the classic rock band
• Shoutout Tugboat a/k/a Tugger
• Cleanish breaks
• Dazed and Confused
• Muscle Cars

#ToBeContinued
#Newt's
#TheValentines

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We dial it down in terms of tone and volume from last episode with Jim's family.  Throwing another music one at you --seeing as we are supposed to be a music podcast and all.

• Public corrections
• Newt's and Mark's bacon
• Shoutout Feegee (creators of our theme music)
• Mark's championship editing skills
• Free Tootsie Pops, er no?
• Unfrosted
• Radio Game
• Very partially true The Office fun fact 
• AC/DC
• RIP Bon Scott
• International release
• The Young Brothers
• Top 5's
• Liner notes
• Homemade cottage cheese

Submit your recipes: [email protected]

#DirtyDeedsDoneDirtCheap
#Newts