The Ascertainers

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"We've been letting people down for 99 episodes!"
     --Jim

"It's all ball bearings these days"
     --The guy from Ajax (a/k/a Gordon Liddy, a/k/a Irwin M. "Fletch" Fletcher)

• International sensation.  G'day Mate!
• MyShirt (it took us 2 years to develop...)
• Our origin story
• What you need to do your very own podcast
• Angel Heart sidebar
• You can't go wrong with Think Drink Disney
• Just Do It
• Big thanks to Newt's
• Michael Keaton
• Radio Game
• Old errors & omissions
• Should have studied
• With apologies to Scandinavia and all of Europe

#Newt's
#ThinkDrinkDisney

Comments or whatever: [email protected]

80's Ads: Formby's Furniture Re-finisher 1986

Podcasting USB Mixer with Bluetooth Review Pyle PMXU83BT

Angel Heart | Official Trailer 4K Restoration | Starring Mickey Rourke and Robert De Niro

The Subterfuge Won't Last

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This one is another where we recorded two episodes in one night.  Since this is the second of the night, the language gets a little rough (earmuffs for sure).  Sorry, Mom.  Also, thanks for listening!

• Post-middle age
• AI proof
• Powered by Newt's home of the best burger in Apple Valley, MN
• Stand-up comedy trauma
• Do comedian's think they're funny?
• SNL current cast review
• Fridays
• Radio Game
• Pro Bowl blows
• Soccer / Rugby / Formula 1
• Super Bowl predictions

#Newts
#SwearJar

Feedback:  [email protected]

Mark at a stand-up show at the 2:55 mark:  Nick The Lounge Singer Sings Star Wars Theme - SNL

Bob Newhart Telephone Scene from the 1962 Film "Hell is for Heroes"

Yes - Leave It (Official Music Video)

Austin Powers Steamroller

MADtv - Stuart: Tee-Ball - YouTube

Bonus: Because Will Sasso was in the Stuart sketch above and he does my favorite Jesse Ventura imitation:  The Fighter and The Kid - Will Sasso as Jesse Ventura - YouTube

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Today's effort begins with a heavily edited story about Jim's rodent exploits.  It goes downhill from there.

• Powered by Newt's
• Kayla and Bob
• Shoutout Jenson Creative for our kick ass shirts
• Perfume ads and other lady stuff
• Errors and Omissions
• Radio Game
• "He really grew into his looks"
• The world's worst guess on who sang I Can See Clearly Now
• Merle Haggard
• Bad at math

What's on your mind? [email protected]

#Newt's
#SorryForTheSwears

Ask for Donny and tell him we sent you:  JENSON CREATIVE

The First Edition : Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)

Hothouse Flowers, "Don't Go," on Letterman, February 28, 1989 - YouTube

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Big week for The Ascertainers.  Your boys hit the town to attend a Bee Gee's tribute show and looked fabulous!  We also got our t-shirts in, so we feel more official.

Not much of an update this week, other than (for a change) we both thought this was a pretty good episode--some laughs, some good-natured ribbing (phrasing), and of course, we break down our favorite Bee Gee's songs.  They have a more impressive catalog than you might think.

With the time I saved on this write up, it will allow us to get to Newt's faster.  Totally worth it in my humble opinion.  After missing out on Newt's last week, we're extra-ready to get back.

Thanks for listening.  Check us out on Facebook!

[email protected]

#Newt's
#NightsOnBroadway

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Feeling a tad overconfident from our last couple of episodes, we leave home without a map, compass, or a clue as to where we're going.  And you get to listen to it.  ENJOY!

• What's another word for Thesaurus?
• Mouse alert
• Newt's--Lovely Burgers!
• Earth Wind and Fire--Seriously??
• Errors & Omissions
• 3.2 beer explained
• Debbie Downer
• Political theory
• R.I.P Bob Uecker
• Radio Game
• Classical influences in rock
• Gordon's and Curt's
• Ascertainer's shirt update

In case of emergency:  [email protected]

#Newt's
#GordieHoweHattrick

Bob Uecker Shares a Funny Story About Football

Letterman Norm MacDonald s Bob Uecker Story

Bob Uecker Funny Scenes in Major League #comedy #funny #funnyvideo #funnyshorts

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Recorded on New Year's Eve.  A masterclass in distraction.

• Newt's--Come for the Toast Points
• The Evil Knievel of Fish Tacos
• Pitcher Night
• Errors and Omissions
• Radio Game
• Beer Stories

Reach us at [email protected]

#Newt's

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So, we were planning on saving this one for Episode 100, but let's face it--there's a pretty good chance we don't make it that far....  

We welcome half of big-time rock band feegee--the ones who do our theme song--Alex and Paul.  They did a great job, but somehow, Jim found the need to talk way too much.  

• The Ascertainers theme, live and unplugged
• Awkward Intros
• Top-notch Kids In The Hall Reference
• Newt's--Lovely Burgers
• Friendship Forensics
• Musical Roots
• Radio Game
• Summerfest
• Ca$ual
• Outro

Contact us:  [email protected]

#Newt's
#WelcomeToTheTwinCities
#feegee
#TVForDogs
#Ca$ual
#Pierre
#Bungtrack

VOICEMAIL - FEEGEE | MUSIC VIDEO  (our guests, Alex on guitar, Paul on bass

Molly's Worst Enemy- "Incubus" Live at Little Elephant (Paul on drums, Alex on bass

Casual - Solidtude / Already Down / Spent / Come Around (Live From Garth's Living Room)  (Paul on drums)

Pierre - "Mortified" (Alex on steering wheel)

Bungtrack - Killing in the Name (RATM Cover) @ Benderz Bar (Alex on bass, Paul sharing vocals)

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We kick off 2025's first episode with an array of sighs.  Seems about right.

• Daylight Savings Time: The days aren't the only thing getting longer--amiright?
• Pull tab blues
• Newt's--It's the place to be!
• Pat K shoutout
• SpaceX vs NASA
• Time Zones
• Radio Game
• Yacht Rock Documentary on MAX
• Christopher Cross
• Michael McDonald / Jimmy Fallon experiment
• Toto
• Session Man
• That's not Yacht Rock?
• Yacht Rock Web Series see link below.

#Newt's
#HappyNewYear

Let us know what you think:  [email protected]

Session Man Session Man - Showtime - 1991

Check this out!  Yacht Rock Episode 1  From the 2005 web series.

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This one comes in a little hot at the start.  Possibly the grind of 92 weeks or so of Friday night recording sessions is taking its toll?  Nah, we got back on track quickly enough.  Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah and has a Happy New Year!  Thanks for listening!

• Typhoid Mike
• Dave Foley Cameo  (check out link below)
• Errors and Omissions
• Newt's--Smash Burger Fans Unite!
• Mercury riff
• RIP Jim Fixx
• Radio Game
• Christmas Movies:  Christmas Vacation, Elf, Scrooged, Home Alone, A Christmas Carol, Jingle all the Way, Bad Santa, The Christmas Chronicles, Any Hallmark Movie, The Santa Clause
• Trans-Siberian Orchestra controversy?
• Shout out to Think Drink Disney!  Give them a listen if you like anything Disney!
• The Minnesota Goodbye

#Newt's

A message from Mr. Dave Foley:   https://www.cameo.com/recipient/674d2d53bea47fd96e2a52bc

The original Kids in the Hall sketch, featuring Mr. Dave Foley
Kids in the Hall - S03E08 - Freedom of Speech ("You use the word 'ascertain' too much.")

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This one was recorded in a matinee session the day after Thanksgiving.  Hangovers were in play for two of the three involved.  Jim's brother, Jeff is our guest.

• Canned cranberry
• Scurvy
• Almost a sports podcast
• Shoutout Bill S
• Newt's has a new Burger called the Power Trip Morning Show Burger--go eat it!
• Radio Game
• After school stuff as kids
  • Gilligan's Island
  • Snacks
  • Cartoons
• MN Vikings Love Boat Incident
• Taco talk
• High School hi-jinx
• Station wagons

Tell us what you think-really:  [email protected]

#Newt's
#Velma