Do you WANT to grow old with your husband?
Lost Sight of Intentions: Beth's Marriage Advice
Beth had a heart-to-heart talk, where she shared her belief
that many marriages end due to losing sight of the original intentions. Beth
emphasized that couples often forget their initial dream of growing old
together, sharing life experiences, and the promise to stay together till
death. She noted that when conflicts arise, instead of focusing on the
positive aspects of the partnership, people tend to subconsciously look for
reasons to leave, which can lead to ruining the marriage. Beth encouraged her
audience to be mindful of their initial intentions and to look for reasons to
stay together rather than reasons to leave.
Focusing on Partner's Positives
Beth emphasized the importance of focusing on the positive
aspects of our partner and not just highlighting their flaws. She encouraged
to acknowledge the reasons why we chose them in the first place and to
remember that they are different from us, which is often one of the reasons
we are attracted to them. Beth also reminded that this applies to our
children as well, who are a mix of both parents, and this diversity is what
makes them whole and beautiful.
Dangers of Relationship Exit Focus
Beth warned against focusing on reasons to end a relationship,
emphasizing that doing so can manifest conflict and unhappiness. She noted
that even if one isn't explicitly expressing negative feelings, the other
party will still pick up on them, potentially leading to a self-fulfilling
prophecy of conflict and disconnection. Beth emphasized the importance of
striving for peacefulness, safety, and happiness, and the potential dangers
of seeking reasons to leave.
Relationship Ending Discussion
Beth had a discussion about ending a relationship and its
implications. She warned about the dangers of looking for negative aspects of
a person, which could lead to seeing those traits more clearly. Beth also
mentioned the need for a person to be present with their children. She ended
the discussion by noting that she was done and wanted the other parties to
Intentions: Shaping Our Experiences
Beth explained how powerful intentions can be in shaping our
experiences. She used examples from hiking, vacations, and dining out to
illustrate how setting an intention to enjoy or find the good in a situation
can change our perspective and experience. Beth emphasized that when we set
intentions, we can direct our experiences and find growth opportunities,
rather than focusing on what's wrong.
Intentional Marriage: Staying Power
Beth emphasized the power of intention in marriages. She
highlighted that without a conscious intention to stay together, a marriage
will inevitably fail. Beth cited the example of a person named Jason Duncan
who gained fame after saying in a podcast interview that he and his wife
refuse to consider divorce as it is not in their vocabulary, due to their
commitment to stay together forever. Beth challenged those present to
consider whether they want to stay on the "struggle bus" or the
"drama triangle" or choose to adopt the intention of staying
Positive Growth and Proactive Mindset
Beth emphasized the importance of focusing on the positive,
personal growth, and being proactive in creating good outcomes. She
encouraged others to adopt a teacher's mindset, grounded in what they want
and how they can make it happen.
