Matt and Erin are back with returning guest Maisie Soetantyo for a deeper, wider conversation about what happens after diagnosis—inside families, across cultures, and over a lifetime. This episode shifts from systems to home, from protocol to relationship, and from “fixing” kids to protecting connection.We talk about parenting autistic kids without shame, why reward systems and compliance fall apart in real life, and how culture, gender, and family expectations shape autistic identity in ways the system rarely acknowledges.

Episode highlights:

• How early masking is taught at school and reinforced at home—and why it sticks for life
• Parenting neurodivergent kids without reward charts, coercion, or constant outsourcing
• The quiet harm of being labeled “easy,” “good,” or “low maintenance” as an autistic child
• Cultural shame, disability myths, and why many autistic people in Asian communities stay hidden
• What actually helps autistic kids grow into regulated adults: safety, interest-based lives, and a home that feels like refuge

This is a grounded, human conversation about raising autistic people—not to perform adulthood, but to survive it with dignity. Real talk, lived experience, and tools you can actually use.

Matt and Erin are joined this week by longtime colleague and friend of the show, Maisie Soetantyo—an openly autistic, multiply neurodivergent advocate with decades inside the autism service system. This episode is a slow, honest unpacking of what it means to start inside ABA, believe you’re helping, and then realize the system itself is doing harm.

We talk about visible “progress,” invisible trauma, and the moment when following the protocol stops making sense—especially when you’re autistic yourself and keep asking why. This one ends on a cliffhanger, because it has to.

Highlights from this episode:

• Maisie’s early work in ABA at UCLA, why it looked effective at first, and what those “successes” missed

• What happens when compliance replaces connection—and why masking is demanded from both autistic kids and therapists

• The long-term impact of training kids to be invisible, including burnout, shutdowns, and after-school collapse

• Moral injury, burnout, and why so many well-intentioned providers eventually walk away

• Parenting autistic kids after leaving ABA, including sensory-specific eating, regulation, and respecting a real “no”

We stop here on purpose.
Part two is about what comes after—what actually supports autistic people across a lifespan, and how unlearning the system is sometimes the most important work.

This week, Matt and Erin are joined by Arielle Juliette—autistic creator, studio owner, and justice-sensitive human living very online in a very loud world. We talk about trauma, visibility, and what it actually costs autistic people to speak up right now.

This is a wide-ranging, honest conversation about justice sensitivity, burnout, online harassment, and why “keeping the peace” so often means silencing ourselves.

Highlights from the episode:

• Autistic justice sensitivity, trauma exposure, and why the current social and political climate hits so hard

• What it’s like to be an autistic, queer content creator navigating hostility, trolls, and pronoun panic online

• Burnout, body signals, flow states, and why autistic people tend to shine hard—and crash fast

• Why “politeness over truth” protects systems, not people

• Finding (or building) your own herd when institutions and hierarchies were never built for you

• Using privilege strategically to speak up—and why your voice matters even without a huge platform

Side note: there are tangents. Superman vs. Superman. Advent calendars eaten incorrectly. Aliens. Keeping the peace at Thanksgiving. Also, a lot of real talk about fear, safety, and why speaking up can still be worth it—even when it’s hard. Exactly. Exactly.

Matt and Erin are back this week with returning guest Arielle of Dance Life Studio and Fitness, and the conversation goes exactly where Autistic conversations tend to go: movement, joy, systems that don’t fit us, and what actually helps people thrive.We talk about belly dance, autistic nervous systems, and why building a life that works for your body isn’t indulgent—it’s survival.In this episode, we cover:

• *Growing up with an autism-affirming secure base, masking as a survival skill (not a moral failure), and why the problem was never the kid
• Belly dance as stimming, regulation, and community—movement hunger, finishing the stress cycle, and why joy matters as much as recovery
• Accommodations, cinnamon metaphors, and how “the world won’t accommodate you” is usually just unexamined trauma talking
• Teaching and moving in ways that work for autistic bodies, including hypermobility, EDS, chronic pain, and seated adaptations
• Culture, colonization, and why understanding the roots of art—and not selling orientalist fantasy—actually deepens connection

Also: finger cymbals, butthole jokes as a legitimate teaching tool, autistic euphoria, “this is the cutest day of my life” energy, and a reminder that if you can move any part of your skeleton, you can dance.Everyone in the Autistic community is welcome here.

Matt and Erin sit in that strange in-between space after Christmas and before New Year’s, where everyone’s supposed to feel hopeful but most of us are just tired. This episode is a grounded, funny, very Autistic conversation about why New Year’s expectations don’t work the way people think they do—and what actually does help.

Highlights from the episode:

• Why New Year’s resolutions rely on dopamine, not sustainability—and why that backfires for autistic nervous systems

• Systems over habits: menus instead of time-blocking, meds placement, and designing life around how your brain actually works

• Process complexity, perfectionism, and needing to see the whole plan before starting anything

• Preparation as regulation: go bags, multi-tools, and why being ready reduces anxiety about the unknown

• Letting go of “fresh start” pressure and focusing on survival, scaffolding, and realistic support

There are also clocks (a lot of clocks), Daylight Saving Time joy, lightsabers that must be perfectly level, Batman toasts “to survival,” barking dogs, cat food reminders, and a reminder that you don’t need a new personality in January—you need systems that meet you where you are.

You made it here. That counts.

We’ll see you in the new year.

Matt and Erin are back just before Christmas, talking honestly about why the holidays are often overwhelming instead of joyful for Autistic people. This episode names the stress, the sensory overload, and the impossible expectations—and offers realistic ways to get through it.Highlights of the episode:-Why the holidays are a perfect storm of sensory overload, social pressure, and emotional burnout-Food expectations, texture aversions, and why chicken nuggets, fries, and safe foods count as real holiday meals-PDA, demand overload, and why traditions don’t get easier just because they’re “traditions”-Navigating toxic, racist, or unsafe family dynamics—and when not going is the healthiest option-Practical survival strategies: leaving early, doing dishes to escape conversation, and creating sensory retreat spaces-What to do if you’re alone during the holidays, including online connection, pets, comfort media, and making the day your ownAlong the way: Charlie Brown as autistic canon, green bean casserole slander, potatoes as a reliable food group, Bluetooth meat thermometers, and a reminder that you’re not imagining how hard this season can be. There’s no right way to do the holidays—only what actually works for you.

Matt and Erin are back this week, and we’re taking on the zombie myth that refuses to stay dead: the claim that vaccines cause autism. It’s blunt, it’s necessary, and yeah—we’re not being cute about it. This episode breaks down where the lie came from, why it keeps resurfacing politically, and how it harms autistic people, public trust, and actual human lives.

We cover:

• Where the vaccines-cause-autism myth actually started (Andrew Wakefield, 1998, 13 kids, bad science, revoked license)
• The difference between misinformation and disinformation—and why intent matters
• Why vaccine injury ≠ autism, and how increased distress gets mislabeled as “more autistic”
• How this narrative quietly frames autism as worse than death or disability—and why that’s dangerous
• Why science revises itself, how retractions work, and why that’s a feature, not a flaw
• How to find reliable public health information right now, including why Your Local Epidemiologist is worth your time

Also: dry sarcasm disclaimers, Mexican Coke as the unofficial sponsor, bleach enemas being an absolute hell no, Bob from Tulsa (we love you), and practical ammo for surviving holiday dinners with Uncle Ted and his Facebook medical degree.

This one’s direct on purpose. No euphemisms. No soft edges. Vaccines don’t cause autism—and autistic lives are worth defending without apology.

• Your Local Epidemiologist: Vaccines don’t cause autism. So what does?https://yourlocalepidemiologist.substack.com/

Content note: This episode is heavier and much longer than usual. It runs about an hour and a half, and it covers medical trauma, chronic illness, and the grief that follows years of being dismissed. If you don’t have the spoons for that right now, it’s completely OK to skip it entirely or come back when you have more capacity.
Matt and Erin are here this week — and we start out thinking ahead toward Christmas traditions and Krampus, but then everything drops into the reality of bodies that are breaking down while everyone else thinks we’re fine.
We stay with the medical gaslighting, the fear, and the kind of pain you can’t perform loudly enough for anyone to take seriously.
We don’t tidy it up; we tell the stark truth because too many Autistic people are carrying this alone.
We get into:

• Invisible disability as a daily negotiation that no one notices until you collapse
• Medical dismissal that turns “take some Advil” into decades of preventable harm
• Estrogen, histamines, MCAS, POTS, and the weird constellation of symptoms no doctor connects
• The difference between “bad cramps” and organs bound together by scar tissue
• How pain that looks calm from the outside gets treated as imaginary
• The emotional damage of managing crises alone while coordinating your own care
• The quiet grief of losing years of functioning before anyone believes you

We’re steadier now because we pushed, insisted, and found the few people who could actually hear us. If you’re going through anything like this, we hope the episode helps you feel less alone while you fight to be believed.

Resources Mentioned:

Autistic Connections: The community Facebook group associated with this podcast, offering autistic-led support and connection.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/619732285448185
Buoy: Electrolyte hydration drops that offer a lifetime chronic illness discount.
https://justaddbuoy.com/pages/chronic-illness-support
UCSF Endometriosis Center: The specialty clinic where Erin received expert surgical care.
https://www.ucsfhealth.org/clinics/endometriosis-center
Nancy’s Nook Endometriosis Education: A Facebook-based learning library with medically vetted information and surgeon listings (not a support group).
https://www.facebook.com/groups/NancysNookEndoEd/
Disney Disability Access Service (DAS): The accommodation system discussed in the episode and its recent policy changes.
https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/disability-access-service/

Matt and Erin are back this week with a Thanksgiving episode that’s… honestly, a lot. Food sensitivities, MCAS, sensory overload, historical truth-telling, and why beige food is basically an autistic love language. We also get into the real history behind the holiday, the weirdness of family gatherings, and how to make eating day actually work for your nervous system.

We cover:

• Why Thanksgiving foods can be a sensory minefield (taste, texture, histamines, executive functioning)
• Family chaos: noise, politics, racist Uncle Bob, and the pressure to “just suffer through it”
• Autistic food stories: McNugget platters, stuffing experimentation, bread-only buffets, and the rise of the Soft Taco Era
• MCAS, histamine responses, estrogen shifts, and why your throat might randomly decide “nope”
• Environmental overwhelm: hardwood floors, too many people, wrong-size spoons, and bringing your own silverware

Also: Snoopy’s questionable turkey ethics, preschool plays involving the USS Enterprise, Samwise running through a field of potatoes, Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathons, friendly dogs, biker ninjas (allegedly), and Matt almost getting run over by his own car.

Take what you need this eating day. Skip what you can’t. And if all you manage is bread and cookies, you’re doing fine. This is the way.

Matt and Erin come in hot this week after a 30-minute derailment caused by YouTube’s brand-account labyrinth. Which, of course, turns into a very on-brand deep dive into autistic executive dysfunction, bottom-up processing, and why chaotic systems wreck us more than most people realize.We cover:

• What executive functions actually are, and why autistic brains struggle when systems make no sense
• Signposting, scaffolding, and why clear structure helps reduce overwhelm
• The Google/YouTube “brand manager” disaster as a real-time case study in autistic frustration
• PDA (persistent drive for autonomy), emotional regulation, and the gremlin-with-an-air-horn analogy
• Invisible disabilities, judgment around “messiness,” and why demand avoidance is not defiance
• When executive dysfunction shows up in daily life: emails, cooking, home tasks, and shutdowns

Also: Godzilla as a non-mouse, ketchup as a sensory buffer, Lego bag numbering, microwave dinners, and Matt’s kid using “Oh, people!” as the ultimate curse word.