The Autistic VOICE Project

Matt and Erin are wrapping up Season 1 of The Autistic VOICE Project this week — and after 48 episodes, they’re talking honestly about burnout, sustainability, community, and what it takes to keep showing up as Autistic people doing work they care about.

We cover:

• Why we're taking a summer break and what autistic burnout actually looks like in real life
• Energy accounting, reducing barriers, and finding ways to make daily life more sustainable
• The difference between stopping completely and intentionally cutting back before burnout gets worse
• Why asking for help can be part of healthy community care
• Building a podcast without burning ourselves out financially, emotionally, or physically
• Ideas for Patreon, merch, sponsors, and ways listeners can help support the future of the show
• Upcoming plans for Season 2, including new guests from the Autistic community, artists, and creators

Also: leaking foundation walls, Prius appreciation, shampoo-bodywash-conditioner "all-in-one goo," PBS pledge drive energy, dethroning Joe Rogan, Dan Aykroyd's elusive guest appearance, Star Wars memes, Godzilla sponsorship dreams, and Bob from Topeka.

We're taking the summer to rest, regroup, and build something more sustainable behind the scenes. Thank you for listening, sharing, and being part of this community.

We'll see you in August.

Matt, Erin, and friend of the show Hunter Hammersen are here this week talking about something a whole lot of Autistic people want and struggle with at the same time: friendship. Specifically, how do you make local, in-person friends when leaving the house already feels exhausting?

Hunter shares her deeply Autistic, surprisingly effective friendship protocol involving spreadsheets, rules, recurring events, and finding “friend-shaped people” in places like libraries, rock shops, yarn stores, and grocery stores. The conversation digs into rejection sensitivity, masking, awkwardness, and why being “one sentence weirder” in public can actually help you find your people.

We cover:• Why Autistic people aren’t actually “bad at people”• Going to events three times before deciding you hate them• “Autism sparkle” and signaling safely to other weirdos in public• Different levels of friendship and why acquaintances matter too• Building community through low-pressure invitations and shared activities• The difference between authentic connection and performing neurotypical social rules

Also: Joanne Fabrics grief, silent book clubs, purple grocery store masks, Mary Poppins crack dealer energy, fabric scissors as weapons, and Matt describing himself as Gollum in public.

Matt and Erin are back for another mailbag episode — and this one gets deeply personal. From losing an “anchor person” to navigating autistic grief, relationships, PDA parenting, and co-regulation, this episode explores what happens when the people who help hold our world together are suddenly gone or overwhelmed. It’s vulnerable, funny, heartbreaking, and very, very autistic.

We cover:

• Why autistic grief can feel like losing your “internal compass” — not just a loved one

• How partners, friends, and safe people often function as essential disability supports

• The fear, disorientation, and loneliness that can come after losing an “anchor person”

• Matt and Erin’s personal experiences with divorce, loss, burnout, and rebuilding stability

• PDA parenting, “dueling gremlins,” and how co-regulation creates room for flexibility

• Why autistic love is often rooted in safety, routine, and nervous system relief

• Transformers, Doctor Who, fountains, art galaxies, chicken nuggets, and the sacred role of biscuits and gravy

Also: the loneliest whale in the ocean, emotional support toast, “people…” as a replacement swear word, and Matt casually admitting he’d probably make a good spicy audiobook narrator.

Matt, Erin, and guest Nyck Walsh are here this week — and this episode turns into a really good conversation about somatic therapy, autistic processing, nervous systems, sensory joy, and why neutrality can feel radical when your body has spent years stuck in survival mode.

We talk about:

• Rocks, Nintendo buttons, foodgasms, hypervigilance, and the very real experience of trying to exist in a world that keeps demanding “normal”
• Nyck explains “VAST” (Variable Attention Stimulus Trait) as a more affirming alternative to ADHD language
• Why a lot of somatic therapy can accidentally become ableist when interoception differences aren’t considered
• The autistic processing pause: looking away, slowing down, and needing time to actually build an accurate response
• Using rocks, pets, blankets, textures, fidgets, and sensory anchors to ground in the present moment
• The difference between sympathetic overdrive and parasympathetic rest — and why many autistic people rarely get to experience neutrality
• How pleasure, sensory joy, and “stopping to smell the roses” can become survival tools instead of luxuries
• Cats, Caprese omelets, NES controller fidgets, and the very important concept of the food dance
• Nyck’s new book Neurodivergent Somatics and Therapy and the upcoming audiobook narrated by Nyck themself

Also: Erin accidentally inventing “somagic,” Tuck the adventure cat making emotional drive-bys, and a surprisingly deep discussion about how touching a really good rock can help keep your nervous system online. This is a ride. We’re glad you’re here.

This episode gets into perimenopause through an autistic lens—what it actually feels like, why it hits differently in autistic bodies, and how little real guidance exists. Matt, Erin, and Eleda talk through the biology, the lived experience, and the frustration of trying to make sense of something that affects so many people but still isn’t well understood—especially when you add autism into the mix.

We cover:

• How sensory differences can amplify menopause symptoms (hot flashes, sweat, fatigue, migraines) into something much more intense
• The overlap between hormones, histamines, and autoimmune conditions—and why everything can spike at once
• The lack of research, missed diagnoses, and why so many autistic people are left figuring this out on their own
• Real, often overlooked symptoms (phantom smells, joint pain, anxiety surges) and what it’s like not knowing what’s happening to your body
• What it takes to advocate for care, find informed providers, and experiment with supports like HRT

There’s no clean roadmap here. Just real talk, shared experience, and a starting point for conversations we should’ve been having a long time ago.

Matt, Erin, and Eleda get into special interests, collections, and what it means to have a space where Autistic joy isn’t hidden—it’s the whole point. This one’s about building community through the things we love, and why that matters more than most people realize.

We cover:

• Turning a business into a place where people come to connect—not just buy things

• Why collections matter (and what happens to them when we’re gone)

• The shame people are taught to feel about joy—and why we reject that

• Autistic joy, special interests, and being “too much” for other people

• Finding your people—whether that’s a shop, a hobby group, or this podcast

Also: unicorn collections, tiny horse economies, estate herds, and the real work of building (and protecting) a personal museum of the things you love.

Matt and Erin are joined by Eleda Towle, an Autistic store owner whose lifelong focus on model horses turned into a business—and a gathering place for other Autistic people. This one moves the way Autistic conversations often do: tangents, deep dives, and a lot of “wait, that connects to this.”

It’s about discovery, community, and what happens when people finally find their thing—and their people.

We cover:

• Eleda’s late autism discovery at 52—and the moment everything started to make sense

• Building a business around monotropic focus (yes, plastic horses) and accidentally creating Autistic community space

• Why Autistic conversations “maze” instead of staying linear—and why that’s not a problem to fix

• The deep (and very real) Autistic roots of toy culture—from model horses to My Little Pony lore

• Intrinsic motivation, PDA, and why “just try harder” doesn’t work for Autistic people

• Self-directed learning, reward systems, and a nonprofit using play to support neurodivergent kids

Side note: yes, we go from horses → Ninja Turtles → Brainspotting → electric towers → taxes → government frustration… and it all makes sense if you’re following the thread. That’s the point.

This is what it sounds like when autistic people talk to each other. A little chaotic. Very real. And honestly, kind of the best way to understand how our brains actually work.

Matt, Erin, and Jamie Roberts are here this week—and we get into identity development for autistic teens, the pressure to turn yourself into something “useful,” and what it actually looks like to figure out who you are when the world keeps handing you scripts that don’t fit. It’s real, a little chaotic, and very recognizable.

We cover:
• Why identity gets tangled up with productivity, money, and “what are you going to do with that?”—and how to separate who you are from what you earn
• The role of interests (yes, even YouTube, gaming, makeup, or “too much time online”) as actual data—not distractions—and how adults can either shut that down or build from it
• Using “experiments” instead of pressure—trying things, gathering information, adjusting, and trying again without making it a pass/fail identity crisis
• The difference between “this is hard because it’s new” and “this is hard because it doesn’t fit me”—and why that distinction matters
• Representation, visibility, and why seeing someone like you (purple hair, special interests, all of it) can shift what feels possible
• Jamie’s book Neurodiversity for Teen Girls and the six “gem” archetypes—how different autistic teens navigate identity, masking, relationships, and self-advocacy

Also: Lord of the Rings name drops, musical theater brain tangents, Lego reward systems for finishing a book (yes, really), and a solid reminder that “sucking at something” is part of learning—not a sign to quit.

Side note:
This one stays with the same core message we keep coming back to—there’s no clean, linear way to figure out who you are. It’s messy. It’s iterative. It’s a lot of “try this, nope, not that.” And yeah, that’s frustrating.

But it’s also how identity actually forms.

This is the way.

Matt, Erin, and guest Jamie Roberts sit down to talk about autistic teen girls—the ones who get missed, mislabeled, and pushed through systems that don’t fit. This is about what’s actually happening underneath the behaviors adults dismiss.

Highlights:

• Why teen girls are overlooked in diagnosis—especially when they’re labeled with anxiety, depression, or “typical teen behavior” instead of being understood as neurodivergent
• Harm reduction as a real, non-shaming approach to self-harm—what it is, why it works, and how teens use pain to regulate overwhelming or absent emotions
• The pressure to conform during adolescence—and how masking, school systems, and social expectations create impossible standards for autistic teens

We also get into sensory needs, emotional regulation, and why “just deal with it” isn’t a skill—it’s a setup. Plus: tangents on capitalism, school systems, and the quiet ways autonomy gets denied to teens (especially girls).

This week, we’re talking about chaos—the real kind. The kind that shows up in your body, your routines, your relationships, and your nervous system. Matt and Erin break down what it actually means to be a bottom-up processor in a world that expects you to “just wing it,” and why autistic people aren’t overreacting to unpredictability—we’re responding to a lack of usable data.

Highlights:

• Bottom-up vs. top-down processing—and why autistic brains need more data, not fewer expectations

• How chaos shows up in real life (inventory week, disrupted routines, missed plans) and why it hits so hard

• The cost of constant calculation—burnout, illness, exhaustion, and why it’s not a personal failure

• Flow state, interruptions, and transitions—why being “pulled out” can feel like something breaking

• Predictability, consistency, and safety—from daily routines to why sameness (yes, even food) matters

Also: Batman as a chaos-fighting autistic icon, why “winging it” is not a neutral skill, and what it means to build systems that actually support autistic lives. This is a grounded, honest look at why chaos isn’t just inconvenient—it’s a full-body experience.