The Beak » Breakfast with the Beak

Flash mobs! Zombie walks! Out-of-control young people fucking up your commute! What does it all mean? We don’t know, but it’s this week’s topic, so we’re going to find something to say about it. Plus a bit of zombie history, a bit of convenience store robbery, and a lengthy discussion of Max Planck’s internet-meme potential. […]

How many superheroes should Ryan Reynolds get to play? I don’t know, because I am deathly ill and stoned out of my mind on flu medicine. So enjoy that, audience. I’m sure I did, even though I can’t remember recording most of this episode. Apparently, I came up with a better way to remake Footloose. […]

This week, we head back into space in search of white holes, where alternate universes may or may not be born. We intend to solve this mystery, even if we have to name-drop Neil DeGrasse Tyson several hundred times. Because seriously, how great is he? Somehow, we also end up talking about Waffle Nazis without […]

On the tenth anniversary of 9/11, we try to find something funny to talk about by going back to a simpler time: 1997! When Homer Simpson could talk shit about New York, and jokes about the World Trade Center were effectively meaningless! Eventually even that proves to be too much of a bummer, though, so […]

Well, we survived the hurricane, and to celebrate, we’re talking about all things Takei, and specifically why George Takei is awesome. And really the whole classic Trek cast. But mostly George Takei, a man who can make the word “douchebag” sound like a velvet sunrise in your ears. We also talk about YouTube a lot, […]

Hurricane Irene is bearing down on New York City, but we’re podcasting anyway. Why? Because the hurricane is just a distraction from the true threat: Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers, or CHUDs to the layman. When the subway tunnels flood, they’ll turn their attention to the world of the surface-dwellers, and our soft, pink, surface-dwelling skins […]

This week, Breakfast with the Beak is taking on the topic of famous puppets. So don’t worry. You-know-who isn’t famous yet, and does not appear in this episode. So join us as we burn off all the Tim Pawlenty jokes that we won’t get to use in the primaries, and maybe talk about some puppets […]

This week, we ask whether ghosts are real or imaginary. And we come up with an answer: we need our own TV show. Also, we consider the warlock-to-civilian ratio in America’s cities and the uselessness of crime-fighting cartoon dogs, and we remember the life of Bob the Buffalo Hunter. Subscribe via RSS Subscribe via iTunes […]

The public wanted to know our opinions on colors with weird names, so we got out our big box of crayons and scribbled a new chapter in the Book of Grievances. Should kids be allowed to vote on color names? Did scientists make up indigo just so they’d have a better mnemonic device? Will painting […]

Have you ever driven in a rainstorm that was so bad that you had to pull over? That’s the question we’re trying to answer this week, and that fact that neither of us drives won’t stop us. We’re doing important work here, whether that means revolutionizing the way we teach physical education, or just reviewing […]