The Beak » Breakfast with the Beak

Our apartment has been hot as fuck this week, but we’ve got a topic to beat the proverbial heat! Can we unlock the mysteries of brain freeze? Are we one frozen beverage away from being able to carry on a civil conversation? Do Japanese girl bands really sing about banana chips? Is Tim Pawlenty an […]

The world is full of douchebags, and we’re going to find out why. How are we going to do that? The same way we always do: by asking a lot of questions, then getting distracted. What do we mean when we call someone a douchebag? What does Sarah Palin have in common with Viserys Targaryen? […]

It’s July 10, and that means it’s the birthday of history’s most badass inventor: Nikola Tesla. Whether he was perfecting his crow-hunting technique or soaring above the clouds in a flying machine that he conveniently forgot to take any picture of, Tesla set an example we should all follow, except for the part where Edison […]

Things get off to a rough start this week, thanks to some… confusion regarding my sidekick. Eventually we got it all worked out and really tried to talk about Qatar, but then someone mentioned penguins and it all sort of went to hell from there. Dude. Have you seen a penguin? They’re great! Subscribe via […]

This week, we present a public service announcement on the dangers of grad school. Will you find enlightenment and intellectual stimulation, or will you just divide your time between asking your parents for money and asking your professors for money? We’re still not sure, because we got distracted by the blinding blandness of Tim Pawlenty. […]

Yes, you read that right! Thanks to the trickery of an exceedingly clever fan, we’re executing the legendary 2x Topic Combo, and you good folks get to witness it. And why stop at the official topics? Let’s talk about sandworms! Or Mr. Belding! Or crazy Schroedinger time machines, which I swear will make sense in […]

This week, we’ve been called upon to discuss the fine art of graffiti. And we’re ready, whether that means drawing a mustache on a national landmark or accepting an Oscar in a gorilla mask. Also, we somehow get on the subject of bad music. I don’t know. Just listen to it. There’s a puppet show. […]

You asked us to talk about television. As in, all of it. And damn it, we tried. We also talked about Mrs. Butterworth, robot doppelgangers, and all the reasons Jeff Goldblum needs to get a houseboat and start solving mysteries. And why the hell not? Most of that stuff would totally work as a show. […]

Oh, that’s right. A topic so terrifying, we needed two colons in the title. Have we stumbled upon the greatest conspiracy of our age, or does it only exist in the fevered imagination of the listener who suggested this topic? We unravel the mysteries of exploding trees, rodent hallucinogens, and the finest, most exclusive cashews […]

No sense waiting for breakfast this week, because there may not be a world to eat breakfast in. We’re counting down to the Rapture, and you’re invited to listen in. Will the righteous be swept up to heaven? Will we be able to survive in the post-apocalyptic hellscape which surely awaits us? Will the cats […]