The Beer Engine

Everyone's favorite time of the day / week / month / year! It's time for a new Beer Engine Pod! Today, Tony hunts for JFK Jr. in the outback, Griff drinks stout and eats candy, and the fellas finish their much loved "Ultimate Six-Pack to Send To Your Friend So They Have Something to Drink While They Watch Old Seasons of Love Island UK ™" segment." Also, a review of Griff's Tavour highlights and a real life gag gets too real when Griff points Ulysses S. Grant toward 375 ml of stout. Mamma Mia, it's a-wonderful show-a!

This again. Blech, what are we doing? Oh yeah it’s a podcast! And it’s mostly about beer, I think? Well today’s episode is feeling a little special because it’s “Griff’s Day Out!” The man with the fake heart gets asked about his fake rod and narrowly avoids death by magnets. Then, the guys talk exploding gloop cans and single hop pale ales - wow am I reading these notes I took right? Those seem like total opposites. The range of these guys huh? Give it up for the fellas, come on everyone. *applause* Also the guys add two more beers to their “ultimate six-pack for a friend to take home and enjoy on their couch while watching Cupcake Wars ™.” Finally, Tony gets excited about Kveik yeast, Griff pronounces it 4 different ways and still doesn’t like it. OK cool, have fun!

Oh no! Another Beer Engine! And with Tony oh God the vengeance is at hand! Repent! Repent! Well I hope you're repented enough because it's time to move on to the show notes. Tony rejoins the fun after a couple weeks away doing a little "fascist-smooching" as they call it in some colloquial Australian dialects. Griff puts Tony through his paces though, with a fresh new game called "This, that or the other thing." Tony racks his brain to determine beers from Trump tweets and the boys rescue some orphans. Then they talk about how they would scam their friends into investing in their fake brewery. Why aren't we doing this already?? Oh right, that thing. 

Wow, it's another one of these? Does the pain never end? NO! Tony is away so Griff steps up to the plate to ensure that no one forgets about us. I'm sure it sounds great and normal! Griff reviews some beers he had this week and takes us into the Untappd netherworld to see what the rest of the world thinks. Then Griff revs up the "BRUX Capacitor" to take us to the Best Beers of 2010 and give us his very worthwhile opinions of some of the best beers in the world. Geez, I hope Tony still likes me after this: he's just so beautiful and we need him back right gang?!

Oh, well hello. Didn't expect to see you around these parts again, what with, you know, the "unpleasantness" (aka the previous 13 hours of talking). Here, have some more! Today, the guys briefly talk about failed NY politicians before rolling into the good stuff: beer! We introduce a new segment, tentatively (permanently) called "Ultimate 6-pack!" The guys guess ratings on each other's classics and they nail a couple of them I think! Then, Griff goes on what might have been a 20 minute tirade about "Worst Cooks in America" that already received feedback in his house for being "a lot of yelling."

Untappd was an application created by a guy named Greg about 10 years ago, and Griff has been on it for the entire time. Damn that's crazy! Today the boys (your favorite boys, the best and nicest boys) discuss their rating rubric! Yes, rubrics! I love those. Also, someone drinks some blue beer, someone goes full pastry on a cream ale, and 50 beers "fall off the back of a truck" and into someone's garage. Who is "someone?" Take a guess! What? Hey, it could happen to you!

Welll, well, well. Look who's come crawling back? That's what I imagine you are saying when your feed updates and yet another hour of our crap shows up. Hey it's not crap! And be nice because we have a guest, you jerk! Now you are beating me up for that and I'm crying and screaming! Anyways we do have a guest as Kelly joins the show. She talks about her life growing up on the fringes of the beer world. Then, the crew heats up the Pastrybot with some candy combos to see if they are real. Finally, Kelly is subjected to the world's worst beer names (real ones!) in another round of "Two Brews and a Lie."

Who's that knocking at my door? Oh man, it's the disembodied voices of Griff and Tony, my favorite podcast hosts! This week, Griff can't get drunk anymore, Tony continues living a normal life, and the guys compare notes on one of the worst foods ever. Then, another new segment - it's "what's in Griff's Tavour box?!" Is it IPA? Is it koolaid? Only time will tell!

Hi. Wow everything is going terribly! Good news, the fellas take a brief respite from the daily atrocities to talk to their friend and podcast legend, Brian Mollica. Brian breaks down life as a Knicks fan in the age of The Last Dance and Griff compares his favorite Bulls to his favorite sandwiches. Later, the guys take a trip into the underbelly of Untappd to understand the perspective of some beer drinking children. One banger in the mouth please! I hate myself!

Wow, has it been a week already? I guess each day really is a smaller % of your life. Kind of a wild thing to think about that I think I heard on a sitcom. This week, the show starts with a big announcement (hint: "Call Her Tony"). The guys do their first and probably last "Old News" segment about some thicc pizza, and then Griff talks about the world's first AI-generated brewery. Finally, the content we all wanted - 20 minutes with Griff about the differences between Lambic and "gloop."