"Nah, that was DAMN REAL!" Today on The Cannon Cannon, The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) take on Cannon's 3D venture...in 2D. That's right, we're talkin' 1983(D)'s TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS! The Cannon Bros have to grade on a curve for this one since the movie CLEARLY makes use of the 3D gimmick and the only access at the moment is in 2D (until the Blu-ray gets bought for a future commentary episode). It's truly a head-scratching, slow-motion-loving early Cannon ride that the Cannon Bros can't help but be delighted by.

"I want you to taste what I taste!" *weird-looking dagger weasel pops out at you*

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"Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot ,Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot!"

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"State of the f#@%ing art, Alex!" Yes, the Cannon Bros are FINALLY covering it. By popular demand, it's 1992's NEMESIS ! The late Albert Pyun delivers some truly fun and WTF moments in this semi-sequel to Cyborg (Nemesis was first conceived as Albert Pyun's last film under a three-picture contract with Cannon drawn up in 1987). We consider this one both a COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON as well as a LOOSE CANNON.

Enjoy, ya Bio-Enhanced Gangsters!

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"But Seymour, there’s another verse." "Not this time, Ma.” Today on The Cannon Canon, The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are pleasantly surprised by the unassuming dark comedy, GRACE QUIGLEY! Katherine Hepburn, Nick Nolte and Kit Le Fever star in this charming off-beat dark comedy that's a mix of "Harold and Maude" and Dr. Jack Kevorkian's euthanasia. The cast is rounded out by some spectacular character actors (there's a Howard the Duck connection here) and a pace and tone that's just slightly off but works spectacularly when it hits. And of course, The Cannon Bros get existential as usual. Getting old and thinking about death is weird, y'all!

“Too slow, Mr. Flint. Too slow and too lonely." But this episode isn't too slow and you're never too lonely with The Cannon Canon!

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He's a Teen Wolf...Too! Today we cover a "Loose Cannon" (released by Cannon Screen Entertainment in the Netherlands), TEEN WOLF TOO! Part Teen Wolf, part Rocky and a dash of The Karate Kid.

Did you love the first movie? Get ready for most of the same beats but executed poorly! What's the parallel sport to high school basketball? COLLEGE BOXING, OF COURSE! Charmed by Michael J. Fox's Wolf? Jason Bateman's Wolf will have you muttering, "asshole". Add in a dash of Corey Feldman style choices, John Astin's charming and macabre scene-chewing, re-cast "returning" characters and a baffling song and dance number to "Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance)" and you've got Teen Wolf Too!

May all your montages be set to "Send Me An Angel". Awoooooooooo!!!

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It's "Murcan" Birthday Week, Plugots! What better way to celebrate our nation's birth than with Cannon's 1986's sci-fi apocalyptic "comedy", AMERICA 3000! Joining the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) at Cannon Bros Headquarters is returning guest, Adam "Macho" Bozarth ( Left Handed Radio, WLHR Fake Public Radio)!

We talk Desi Arnaz Jr connections, a Reagan/Bonzo/Aargh theory, missing strange discoveries via VHS and UHF and tips on how to run into Jon Hamm when you're in L.A.

Don't be cold woggos, be hot plastic Prezeedent!

*freeze frame on Aargh the Awful jumping in the air holding a boombox over his head*

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"It’s called Ice. It was big in Japan, but I haven’t seen it much here. It makes 'rock' look like decaf, babe." Today's "Could've Been A Cannon" is a true "WHAT IF?" What if Cannon had survived into the '90s? Golan and Globus DEFINITELY would've gotten a whiff of Showdown in Little Tokyo and touted it as "The movie that WILL beat Terminator 2!" while parading Brandon Lee and Dolph around Cannes. This is PURE non-Cannon Cannon!

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"Just the one pastrami then?" Today on The Cannon Canon the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) buddy up for this 1987 "buddy" cop flick, "NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET". A movie that forces the Cannon Bros to ponder "WHY must you make us yearn for Jim Belushi?!" Billy Dee Williams plays...Billy Dee Williams and Robert Carradine is... severely miscast.

On the surface, this movie feels like a Lethal Weapon rip-off, EXCEPT...It came out mere 2 MONTHS after Lethal Weapon! Was it parallel thinking? Or a case of Cannon seeing an early Lethal Weapon screening and scrambling to add LW elements to Num1B? WHO KNOWS?! It's as baffling as Robert Carradine's (who we love otherwise) casting in this.

To quote Number One With A Bullet, "Check's in the mail." Check's in the mail indeed.

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"A chemical reaction got him some action!" Cannon Canon Patreon member, Daniel Levitt, picked this month's COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON and oh, baby...this bizarre and sometimes off-putting "Sex Comedy" is quite the package. 1985's "The Party Animal" is an interesting entry ("hot beef injection"?) into the beloved 80's "sex comedy" genre.

The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) can't help but put their tweed leather-elbowed comedy professor blazers on to dissect what the hell is even going on with "The Party Animal". It's a movie with the most unlikeable protagonist and a surprisingly great punk soundtrack. At one point the movie turns into a proto-"Clerks"? And the main plot hits in its THIRD ACT?!

It's an episode that will have you saying “OoohWeee! Look at what the gods sent me!”

*farts* "Scusi."

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Murder She Wolf! Today the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) trek to grandmother’s house (in this case Golan & Globus' house of Cannon) to cover the 1985 surreal horror fantasy THE COMPANY OF WOLVES! Neil Jordan gets to Neil Jordan with this one. It's a "modern" somewhat anthology-like twist to Little Red Riding Hood...by way of Cannon and Neil Jordan of course.

We’re lycan this one! Just remember, “Never trust a man whose eyebrows meet.”

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