The Cannon Canon

The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are transported to 7th Heaven with this "COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON"! We're talkin' Berry Gordy's THE LAST DRAGON! A movie that The Cannon Bros have an undeniable nostalgic "glow" for.

Once again, we swoon over the late great Vanity, praise the badassery of Sho'nuff and excuse the timidness of Leroy (he's definitely in a form of arrested development...right?). This movie hammer fists all our 80's nostalgic sweet spots. With its bop of a soundtrack, Bruce Lee obsession and classic over-the-top white slimeball villain, it's SHOCKING it's NOT a Cannon.

Turn it up the DeBarge and "Kiss my converse" because when you got the glow, your body's gold!

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We’re fudging the rules and diving back into the HBO/Cannon video releases and today we cover a horror classic the Cannon Bros know and love, Sam Raimi’s THE EVIL DEAD (1981)! Find out which Cannon Bro is team The Evil Dead and which is team Evil Dead II!

"For god's sake, what happened to her eyes!!!" but those ears are still good, so put down that fleshy old book of the dead and play this episode like it's Raymond Knowby's tape recorder, ya Deadite!

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The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) check in to let everyone know about the Cannon Canon release schedule moving forward.

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”Barbecue, huh?! How do you like your ribs?!"

It's another COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON and today we're talkin' 1988's ACTION JACKSON! A movie that lives in the Tango & Cash realm of irreverent joke at the time but actually better than it got credit for.

It's got Vanity, Coach and pretty much every stunt guy from Die Hard. Enjoy!

“I expected a standing ovation.” “You’re getting one.”

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"TO ALL MY FRIENDS!" The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) stagger down to the local L.A. dive and cheers to 1987's BARFLY! A semi-autobiographical screenplay written by Charles Bukowski and directed by Barbet Schroeder. This critically acclaimed Cannon flick has Mickey Rourke taking some big drunken swings (literally AND with his acting), Faye Dunaway gives a fantastic performance (as do her legs) and Frank Stallone shows he can be more than a classic Norm Macdonald punchline. Barfly maybe hits a little too close for comfort for the Cannon Bros, but that doesn't stop them from raising a glass to this prestige Cannon film.

Pour another and turn this episode up louder than Henry's classical music because "endurance is more important than truth."

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"That's my momma!" It's our second week of covering the comedic stylings of Dreyfuss & Landsberg! This week we discuss 1987's DUTCH TREAT! A movie that literally came out MONTHS after Detective School Dropouts. 

Cannon had conceived a vehicle for Dutch "girl band" the Dolly Dots in 1983 and they made good on that promise...4 years later...by combining their movie with a Dreyfus & Landsberg comedy. That's our Cannon!

It's a movie SO loud and unrelenting in its attempt at madcap chaos comedy that it gave one of the Cannon Bros a migraine. It also has the honor of possibly having the most attempted murders or actual deaths than most of the Cannon action films The Cannon Canon has covered! 

We discover that the Dolly Dots are a great 80's pop-rock band ala The Go-Go's and The Bangles, Dead Meat sounds better at 1.5 speed and that the TRUE star of this film...is the boom mic (which is present in almost every single shot). Should have received top billing, really. 

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“They don’t make Munks like they used to!” Abbott & Costello, Martin & Lewis, Cheech & Chong...Dreyfuss & Landsberg. That's right, for the next two weeks, The Cannon Canon will be covering the Cannon comedic stylings of Lorin Dreyfuss & David Landsberg! First up, 1986's Detective School Dropouts! A mixed-bag, madcap comedic romp that leaves the Cannon Bros a little lukewarm on the film itself but respecting the hell out of the story behind getting their two movies made to begin with! 

In this episode we discuss: The hustle and dream of sketch comedians landing a 2 picture deal with a movie studio, Benny Hill speed-ups, middle-aged men in flimsy tear-away clothing, a plane that shows Ninja III: The Domination as its inflight movie and composer George S. Clinton takes on the Euro-Discoteque nom de plume GEO for this score.

After all, "God knows what they put on their pizza in California!"

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“I can get an interview with a Times Square pimp!” It's Oscar season, so it's time to get prestigious here on The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Bros are dressed in their tuxes and sitting down to dissect the serious cinema of the Cannon Oscar swing, STREET SMART! Ever wanted to see a sociopathic Clark Kent? Then Street Smart is your movie! Christopher Reeve was able to make this passion project by agreeing to do Superman IV for Cannon. But of course, you know it came with some Golan & Globus stipulations. 

Morgan Freeman turns in an incredible performance that earned him an Oscar nom, Kathy Baker and Mimi Rogers get to show off their powerhouse acting chops and Christopher Reeve does his best to shake the Superman blues (and red cape briefs). 

Sip a Yoo-Hoo, get wild with the scissors and stay Street Smart, Cannon-heads!

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“I’m gonna rip out your heart and suck your blood!” Patreon member Joaquim Dantas steps up to the Cannon Canon plate and knocks it out of the park with this COULD'VE Been A Cannon pick! 1987's ENEMY TERRITORY! 

Before Full Moon Productions, Charles Band ran Empire Pictures and released this gem that hits ALL the Cannon staples. It's a movie described as Die Hard meets The Warriors and...it's pretty spot on! Add a dash (pun not intended) of some Fox News fearmonger porn and a surprisingly excellent soundtrack and you got yourself one perfect COULD'VE Been A Cannon! 

Starring Tony "Candyman" Todd, Ray "Ghostbusters Theme" Parker Jr., Stacey "Clueless" Dash, Jan-Michael "Airwolf" Vincent, Gary "Family" Franks and a brief appearance from Kadeem "A Different World" Hardison.

The film caters to Frank and Geoff even more with its Halloween theme sampled end-credit song!

Take a listen, ya dime store Darwins!

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"Hay is for horses!" It's the unofficial sequel to Breakin' that barely has anything to do with Breakin'! That's right, today we're covering the 1985 Cannon finger on the pulse film "RAPPIN'"! 

Where Krush Groove successfully showcased the early rap scene, Rappin'...has rapping sequences of Mario Van Peebles awkwardly re-voiced by Ice-T and Master Gee. Everyone gets a chance to rap (even if they shouldn't)! 

Despite its flaws, it's still fun to watch Rappin' Hood and his merry men mix it up the only way Cannon can! You'll be itchin' for a scratch, Cannon-heads!

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