Presented by Julie Busteed

How do you introduce yourself? What’s the first thing you tell others about yourself when meeting someone new?

The Apostle John writes:

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him (1 John 3:1).

I’m in awe that the Father has lavished his great love on me. God almighty is extravagantly generous with his great love toward his children. It is his heart.

To know your identity is a child of God and that he loves you, should give you such peace and rest and confidence and security.

But, what if you’re not “feeling” loved right now. How do you continue to rest and walk in God’s love? Let’s look at how the Bible defines love. The Apostle John continues:

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us (1 John 3:16).

And Paul in Romans tells us:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

Not only does God lavish his love on us, but he’s the one who sent his son to die for us to save us and to reconcile us to himself. We don’t have to earn his love. It is a free gift.

If you’re in a hard place right now—uncertain about the future of your job, in a difficult season in a relationship, or struggling with your health—it can be difficult to feel like God is with you and loves you. But you especially need to preach this truth to yourself during these times. Keep reminding yourself he does love you. Your feelings are not always to be relied on! When you consistently read God’s word, meditate on it in your heart and mind, study, and even memorize it, you will be able to recall his truth when you are in a difficult place.

My prayer for us echoes Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians:

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:17-19).

Presented by Julie Busteed

Do you know you are a child of the King? Do you live in that reality? Years ago, I remember my Aunt Fran sending me a paper gold crown in the mail with a note that said, “You are a princess. You are a child of the King.”

At the time, I laughed and shook my head and said that’s Aunt Franny for you—sending and doing these crazy things. But as I reflect on it—and she did get her point across because I remember it all these years later—it was a great reminder of my true identity. Because I know Christ and am his, he is my King. That makes me royalty.

We have so many titles for ourselves. We have our job titles and roles. We are also wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. We also identify ourselves by where we live or where we were born. There’s so much talk about which generation we belong to—a Boomer, Gen X, Millennial, Gen Z, Alpha. Maybe you identify yourself by how many followers or likes you have on social media. There are so many ways to identify ourselves. But what is your true identity?

What you think about yourself—what you say to yourself—has an incredible impact on how you behave and live out your life.

If you are a Christ follower, the most important thing is to find out what God’s Word has to say. We’ll talk about five ways God sees us, and in turn how we should rightly view ourselves.

Starting at the beginning in Genesis we learn we are made in his image.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:26-27).

When you stop and mediate on this truth, it’s astounding. The creator of this world created us in his own image. He gifted us with unique talents, skills, emotions, and minds. Psalm 139 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Our self-value or worth is not in what we think about ourselves, our bodies, or our lives. We have value because we are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.

If you’ve ever found yourself suddenly out of a job, for whatever reason, you know the trauma that can bring into your life. How should a Christian respond when you’re in job hunting mode through no fault of your own? I, Mary Lowman, have a friend who will share her story with you and I believe you will be encouraged. So, please join us.

I’d like you to think of someone you know who you consider to be a truly godly, mature Christian. What is the major characteristic you admire about that person? I doubt you would say, “They have very high self-esteem.” And yet we often hear you must have high self-esteem in order to be successful.

In his booklet, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Tim Keller talks about gospel-humility, which he defines as not needing to think about yourself. That is a lesson God has been teaching me for years—that self is not my solution, it’s my problem. The more I can forget myself, the better off I am. When you don’t need to think about yourself, it means you have a very good understanding of who you are in Christ, and that’s all you need to know.

Tim writes, “True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself.” It’s not something we try to do; it’s something that happens as we more and more know our true identity in Christ.

A truly gospel-humble person doesn’t hate herself; she just doesn’t think about herself. This self-forgetful person would never be terribly hurt by criticism because she doesn’t put much value on what other people think about her, any more than what she thinks about herself.

Not long ago someone was very upset with me, due mainly to miscommunication, and she let me know it. Although her response didn’t make me happy, I was amazed to see it did not devastate me. I’m slowly getting to the place where my self-worth depends less and less on what other people think about me—even on what I think about myself. Criticism or praise from others is not what my identity is built on any longer—at least not like it has been in the past. And my friends, this is wonderful freedom.

There is true freedom in self-forgetfulness. You get to that place by immersing yourself in the truth of God’s Word, making loving God and loving others your highest priority, and then you discover gradually you are thinking less and less about yourself, about your hurt feelings, about how you compare to others or what others think about you. It is marvelous freedom, and every Christian should know and live in this freedom.

If you were asked to name the greatest Christian in all of history, who would you name? The Apostle Paul would be high on most of our lists—maybe top. What a great man of God who did so much to birth the early church. With his track record, he should have had very high self-esteem, don’t you think?

Listen to what he wrote about himself well into his years of ministry:

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst (1 Timothy 1:15).

He didn’t say he was the worst sinner, but he said: “I am the worst sinner.” As Tim Keller points out in his booklet, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, this is incomprehensible to our modern western ears. “We are not used to someone who has incredible confidence volunteering the opinion that they are one of the worst people. We are not used to someone who is totally honest and totally aware of all sorts of moral flaws—yet has incredible poise and confidence.”

Paul understood fully he was a sinner, but he did not allow his sins to become his identity. Tim writes: “He does not see a sin and let it destroy his sense of identity.” In the same way, he does not connect his accomplishments with his identity.

Think of how differently we think. If I see myself as a bad person, then I assume I can’t do anything worthwhile, and I have no confidence. But not the Apostle Paul. As Tim writes: “Paul has reached the place where he is not thinking about himself anymore. When he does something wrong or something good, he does not connect it to himself anymore.”

That doesn’t mean he is no longer accountable, but it simply means his identity is based on what Christ has done for him and what Christ has declared to be true—that he is a new creation, and he is counted righteous because he has been given the righteousness of Christ. The more you get that, the less you have to think about yourself, and the less you think about yourself, the more you become like Christ. It is our self-absorption, our self-centeredness that drives us to despair and keeps us in bondage. Incredible freedom is ours as we more and more don’t think about ourselves.

I’m sharing some thoughts from Tim Keller’s booklet, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.

Tim writes: “If someone has a problem with low self-esteem, we, in our modern world, seem to have only one way of dealing with it. That is remedying it with high self-esteem. We tell someone that they need to see that they are a great person, they need to see how wonderful they are.”

Do you like people to tell you things like that? I sure do—who doesn’t? But guess what: No matter how many times people tell you that you are a great person, it doesn’t change who you are, does it? The only way you and I can truly be changed into a person of worth is when we allow God to do it in us. And that happens when we are born into God’s family through faith in Jesus Christ, and then the Holy Spirit takes up residence in us and begins transforming us into the likeness of Jesus Christ, with ever increasing glory, as we read in 2 Corinthians 3:18.

One clear proof you are no longer trapped in this false belief about the need for high self-esteem is you truly forget yourself. You are not the first person you think of in the morning—at least not every morning! You don’t compare yourself to others and feel either superior or inferior, because you just don’t think about comparing yourself to others. That happens when you are learning to be content with who you are, the way God created you, and how God has gifted you.

As Tim writes: “Boosting our self-esteem by living up to our own standards or someone else’s sounds like a great solution. But it does not deliver. It cannot deliver.” If you’re missing the freedom that is rightfully yours as a daughter or son of God through faith in Jesus Christ, if you’re trapped in a pursuit of good self-esteem, I invite you to find real freedom by learning what it means to live in the joy of self-forgetfulness. This is not to degrade yourself or deny your gifting. Rather it is coming to a place where you are not always plagued with trying to be what others want you to be or trying to make yourself look good. You’re just not very concerned with what others think about you, because you are just not thinking about yourself that much.

Have you ever said or thought: “My problem is I have low self-esteem”? I think most of us have had those feelings at some time. After all, that’s the message we’ve been fed from many sources: If you could just get rid of that low self-esteem, you would feel good about yourself, and you could put all your problems behind you.

I’m sharing from Tim Keller’s booklet: The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, and he points out that up until the twentieth century, almost all cultures believed and taught that having too high a view of yourself was the root cause of all the evil in the world. Human pride, selfishness, greed, and evil were presented as the cause for all bad behavior.

But in our modern western culture, we have developed a completely opposite idea. Now our educational systems, our counseling curriculums, our treatment of prisoners, and much of our legislation starts with the viewpoint that all we need is feel good about ourselves. Think of some evil in our world today—such as abuse of children. This philosophy would have us believe this evil would go away if those who abused children didn’t have such low self-esteem.

Even secular psychologists have come to see the error of this belief system. Some have reported there is no evidence that low self-esteem is a big problem in society, but rather people with high self-esteem pose a greater threat to those around them. But this is hard for people to accept. As Tim writes, “The thing about the low self-esteem theory of misbehavior is that it is very attractive. You do not have to make any moral judgments in order to deal with society’s problems.”

If you’ve been trapped in this belief that you just needed some better self-esteem, I urge you to let it go and come to God’s truth as given in his Word. Feeling good about yourself can only be achieved as a by-product of knowing who you are in Christ and then forgetting yourself as you live your life to love God and love others. There is great freedom in self-forgetfulness, and if you’re struggling with this issue, I highly recommend this booklet by Tim Keller, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.

Since 1984 we’ve been broadcasting the good news that God’s Word is relevant to all areas of our lives, and most definitely to our jobs and careers. Very early on in this ministry, God began to show me the error of the self-esteem teaching that seemed to be sweeping the country.

The general theme of this teaching was the troubles that plague our society—crime and addictions and failed marriages and abuse—all of it is attributable to low self-esteem. It was thought and taught that if we could just help people think about themselves in more positive ways, then they wouldn’t do these things, and our societal problems would go away.

As I looked at myself and others, God made it clear to me that self is not my solution; self is my problem! And looking back at the topics I covered early in this ministry, I see that early on I was trying to communicate this truth. Trying to get people to feel good about themselves will not reach into the depths of their souls and bring healing. And that’s because each of us was born in sin, we commit sin willfully, and we simply have a sin problem. The Bible says there is nothing good in our selves—that all the righteous things we try to do are like filthy rags to God.

That doesn’t exactly fit with the good self-esteem message, does it? Recently I found a booklet by Tim Keller entitled The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness[1]. Tim did such a good job of explaining how this idea that low self-esteem is society’s big problem is just not true.

I want share some of Tim’s thoughts, which are echoes of what I’ve tried to say for many years on this topic of self-esteem. The title gives you a clue to where he’s going: The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. When you and I can come to a place where life is not all about us, we begin to walk in the freedom Jesus came to give us. Believe me when I tell you: Self is your problem, not your solution, and when you grasp the incredible freedom of forgetting about yourself, you are going to love it.

---

[1] Keller, T. J. (2014). The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness: The path to true Christian joy. 10Publishing.

In part one I introduced you to the story of Jehoshaphat, one of the kings of Judah. It is found in 2 Chronicles 20 and is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I encourage you to read it for yourself; if you have time now, open your Bible to the 20th chapter of 2 Chronicles and follow along with me. Judah was the smallest of the two Israeli nations, with only two tribes. They were headquartered in Jerusalem, but they were small and not really equipped to fight a large enemy army.

Yet, in this chapter we learn that all of a sudden three enemy armies are headed their way with the full intent to destroy all of them and take over their land. We saw how Jehoshaphat responded when he heard this frightening news. He was alarmed, as you would expect, but his first move was to inquire of the Lord. Then, from his prayer, we are gleaning seven R’s that tell us what we should do when we don’t know what to do. Truly Jehoshaphat had no plan of how they could ever defeat this great army coming against them. But instead of feeling sorry for himself or running away or giving up, he inquired of the Lord.

First, he recited who God was, so he and his people would be God-centered instead of problem-focused. Then he remembered how God had been faithful to them in times past—he remembered how God had always been with them. So, the first two R’s are:

Recite who God is.

Remember what God has done for you in the past.

Now, we begin with the third R:

#3: Recall God's promises.

That’s what Jehoshaphat does next. He says:

If calamity comes upon us...we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us (2 Chronicles 20:9).

God had given them the promise that if they would stand in his presence before the temple and cry out to God, he would hear and save them. Jehoshaphat was claiming that promise. He didn’t need to remind God of his promise; he needed to recall it himself and the people of Judah needed to remember how God had promised to take care of them.

The Bible has promises there just for you, did you know that? Have you learned to turn to God's Word and ask for a promise when you face an impossible situation?

I remember when I first started this ministry in 1984 on one station in Chicago. That's all I ever figured it would be, and I was thrilled that God had given me that opportunity. Then shortly after, opportunities began to open, and it dawned on me that this ministry could grow and become much larger than I'd ever imagined. And I was frightened; I knew how inadequate I was for such an assignment. I knew how inexperienced I was. And I really wanted to back out. But I couldn't deny that God had opened the doors in a miraculous way.

So, I sat down with my Bible and prayed, "Lord, if this is a ministry you have for me, then please, give me a promise to hang on to as I embark upon it, because I know there will be days and times when I will want to quit.”  Well, my reading that day included Isaiah 50, and right there in that wonderful chapter is God's promise for me. Let me share it with you:

The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. . .  Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore I have set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame (Isaiah 50: 4-7).

I knew that was God’s promise to me. Those verses are now framed in my office, and I can't tell you how many times I've gone back to them when I've been discouraged, when I've been tired, when I've been wearied of the responsibility. And that promise has sustained me and strengthened me to set my face like flint and claim the promise that I would not be put to shame.

Do you need a promise from God right now? Go to his Word and ask for it; God will give one to you, too.

#4: Restate the problem to God.

Now, after Jehoshaphat has recited who God is,

I’m examining how we can fight our way out of discouragement and find victory over that common struggle.

Find someone whose faith is strong

Paul wrote to the Romans: I long to see you…that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith (Romans 1:11-12). Here's another biblical principle for defeating discouragement: Spend some time with a person whose faith is strong. Let them share their faith with you.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:25).

We need to get together more often, even in the midst of our busy lives, because we need each other to stay encouraged. If you've been trying to go it on your own, without fellowship with other believers, you will find discouragement lurking at your door.

Stay in the Word

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope (Romans 15:4).

Make yourself get into the Word of God. Even if it seems dry and lifeless to you, keep reading. It was written for our encouragement, and if you keep reading, it will encourage you.

Focus on Jesus' return

In 1 Thessalonians, we are told of the return of Jesus, and Paul writes to encourage each other. When you think you can't take this old world anymore, when it looks like there is no hope on the horizon, when you're just fed up with everything, start talking about Jesus' coming again. How often do you say, "Even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus!"? How often do you think, "It may be today!"? The more we think about his second coming, the more we will be encouraged.

Don't fight - show up!

In 2 Chronicles 20 the prophet, Jahaziel said: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's...Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.

You're never going to win your battle on your own. But the good news is, it's not your battle. It's the Lord's. You don't have to fight; just show up. God's victories are waiting for you to claim, but he's waiting to see you exercise faith even before you see the victory.

"Take heart," Jesus said. We have hope; we have a future; we have his presence and power. We are not alone or desolate. Take heart. I pray you will be able to defeat discouragement in your life.