Dr James Kirby is the co-director of the Compassionate Mind Research Group at the University of Queensland. He studies the effectiveness of Compassion Focused Therapy interventions in helping with the self-criticism and shame that underpin many depression and anxiety disorders. James also works as a clinical psychologist in private practice. This is his first book.

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session

CHOOSE COMPASSION

If you would like a copy of James's book, you can find it at your favourite local or online bookstore, or here:

https://www.amazon.com/Choose-Compassion-Why-matters-works-ebook/dp/B0BCN23FYK

THE GIFTS OF COMPASSION

My book is also available here:

https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

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Compassion, self-compassion, suffering, compassion focused therapy, cft, compassionate mind training, cmt, paul gilbert, james kirby, choose compassion

I recently had a revelation! Our blocks to self-compassion are often outside of our awareness. This might sound obvious to you, but it gave me food for thought. When someone is considering self-compassion, maybe for the first time, but something difficult to identify keeps getting in the way…what is that something? Can we bring it to awareness? Can we work it through and unblock that self-compassionate motivation?

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt

LINKS:

Miller and Rollnick (2013). Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change. https://www.amazon.com.au/Motivational-Interviewing-Third-Helping-People/dp/1609182278

Miller (2022). On Second Thought: How Ambivalence Shapes Your Life. https://www.amazon.com/Second-Thought-Ambivalence-Shapes-Your/dp/1462547508

Steindl et al (2018). The Origins of Fears of Compassion: Shame and Lack of Safeness Memories, Fears of Compassion and Psychopathology. https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Early-shame-and-safeness-memories%2C-and-later-and-of-Steindl-Matos/cfdc0a432d5dbd4e80bb6e499748c0ffef165bbb

Matos et al (2017). The Origins of Fears of Compassion: Shame and Lack of Safeness Memories, Fears of Compassion and Psychopathology. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00223980.2017.1393380

If you would like to know more about compassion and self-compassion, compassion focused therapy or compassionate mind training, you may wish to check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion, available at your favourite online bookstore, such as: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

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https://youtu.be/Y9Mnglyoxo8

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Compassion, self-compassion, fears, blocks, resistances, motivation, conscious, unconscious, Freud, Jung, Paul Gilbert, compassion focused therapy, CFT, compassionate mind training, CMT

A few weeks ago I made a video about affirming strengths as part of compassion. You can see the video here. To be more accurate, that video was emphasising affirming one’s own strengths as part of self-compassion!

Last week I made video about compassionate assertiveness. You can see that video here. And I realised that a part of compassionate assertiveness is acknowledging, affirming and appreciating the other person, the person with whom you are trying to be assertive.

So, in today’s video, I wanted to explore that idea a little more. The role of appreciation in compassionate assertiveness, setting boundaries, and having effective conversations.

[I am in Chicago at the moment, so apologies for the slightly poorer quality this week.]

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt

LINKS:

If you would like to know more about compassion and self-compassion, compassion focused therapy or compassionate mind training, you may wish to check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion, available at your favourite online bookstore, such as: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

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YouTube Video URL:

https://youtu.be/143aV7nm3VY

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Compassion, self-compassion, appreciation, assertiveness,

Hello Compassionistas! I’m diving deep at the moment into all sorts of ways to practice self-compassion. And one of the best? Compassionate assertiveness!

Assertiveness training has a long tradition, but when we come at it from a compassionate motivation, then it is a great way to practice self-compassion AND compassion in one friendly yet clear and honest conversation.

It's a win/win in the most compassionate of ways!

We listen well to understand the wants and needs of the other party. And we listen to ourselves and understand our own wants and needs. And we work out clear boundaries and express them in a way that ACTUALLY IMPROVES RELATIONSHIPS!

But practicing compassionate assertiveness is tricky, so here are some helpful tips, and example and a little exercise to get you started!

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt

LINKS:

If you would like to know more about compassion and self-compassion, compassion focused therapy or compassionate mind training, you may wish to check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion, available at your favourite online bookstore, such as: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

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YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/DaAlVfYVg6o

*Affiliate Disclaimer:

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Compassion, self-compassion, assertiveness, assertiveness training, boundaries, boundary setting, healthy relationships, submissiveness, aggressiveness

Here, I interview Jamie Woodhouse from Sentientism.info and the Sentientism Podcast. From his website:

"Sentientism is a philosophy or worldview – a way of thinking about what’s real and what matters. Sentientists use evidence and reason to work out what to believe in, so don’t hold supernatural beliefs. Sentientists also have compassion for every sentient being – any being capable of experiencing, particularly experiencing suffering or flourishing. Roughly speaking, that’s human and non-human animals, but other types of being could conceivably be sentient too."

My big takeaway from this conversation with Jamie:

Compassion's bottom line: To not needlessly cause suffering. All sentient beings can suffer, & so, at a minimum, compassion requires that we include them in our moral scope & not cause them to suffer.

Let me know what you think!

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session

LINKS:

Find out about Sentientism here: https://sentientism.info/

Find the Sentientism Podcast here: https://sentientism.info/what-is-sentientism/podcasts

Join the conversation about sentientism on Reddit here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Sentientism/

If you would like to know more about compassion and self-compassion, compassion focused therapy or compassionate mind training, you may wish to check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion, available at your favourite online bookstore, such as: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

Say hi on social:

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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/K4Y0I7OUg7g

*Affiliate Disclaimer:

Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

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Compassion, animals, sentient, sentientism, suffering

I'm, always looking or new ways to practice self-compassion. And here's another! I've just discovered you can actually text yourself, so why not send yourself some self-compassionate texts. Here are a few I tried today! Give it a try...and let me know what you think.

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt

LINKS:

If you would like to know more about compassion and self-compassion, compassion focused therapy or compassionate mind training, you may wish to check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion, available at your favourite online bookstore, such as: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

TWEET THIS VIDEO: [ INSERT CLICK TO TWEET LINK ]

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https://youtu.be/QkkKHATUDfM

*Affiliate Disclaimer:

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Compassion, Self-Compassion, Compassion Focused Therapy, CFT, Compassionate Mind Training, CMT

Today we will be exploring a daily self-compassion practice known as self-compassion in the mirror! It’s an interesting one, and a powerful one.

It can also come along with certain reservations for people. But as we work through those reservations, this daily practice can really make a difference.

So, in two steps, we can practice self-compassion in the mirror!

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a t-shirt

LINKS:

Petrocchi et al. (2016). Compassion at the mirror: Exposure to a mirror increases the efficacy of a self-compassion manipulation in enhancing soothing positive affect and heart rate variability. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2016.1209544?journalCode=rpos20

If you'd like to learn more, check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion, available at your favourite online bookstore, including: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

Say hi on social:

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YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/xd63CADbrhk

*Affiliate Disclaimer:

Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

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Compassion, self-compassion, compassion focused therapy, compassionate mind training, cft, cmt, loving-kindness

The Gifts of Compassion...and Making Them Count.

This is my Keynote Address at this year's UQ Compassion Symposium, 16 September 2022. We had a wonderful lively audience, a moving Welcome to Country, and I was introduced by my daughter Freya.

Then I discussed:

11.38 What is compassion?

17.27 Definition and qualities

23.13 Life lessons across three flows

35.10 Fears, blocks and resistances

40.49 Let's talk about self-compassion

48.11 Inhibitors and facilitators

49.57 Enhancing motivation

53.40 Making a commitment

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt

LINKS:

If you are interested in learning more, check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion, available at your favourite online bookstore, including:

https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL:

https://youtu.be/YYnCgpG_JEs

*Affiliate Disclaimer:

Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

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Compassion, self-compassion, compassion focused therapy, cft, compassionate mind training, cmt, Paul Gilbert, Mindful Self-Compassion, Chris Germer

Tone is so important in conveying both feeling and meaning. Often, the tone of our self-talk can be harsh, hostile, critical or condemning. We can attack ourselves, dig the boot in, cut ourselves no slack what-so-ever. We think this’ll motivate us, keep us on track, stop us from being lazy, self-indulgent or lax, stop us from making mistakes. But a harsh, critical voice tone actually, mostly, doesn’t achieve any of that. It just makes us feel worse. Less motivated, more off track, more likely to give up or…make mistakes. So here is a bit about the importance of the sound of our inner voice, including five steps for developing your compassionate voice tones.

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt

LINKS:

The interview with Angus Young for Guitar World

https://www.guitarworld.com/artists/let-there-be-rock-acdc-lead-guitarist-angus-young-picking-hard

The Star Wars opening crawl:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXDnFYu91vY

If you would like to learn more about compassion, you can find my book, The Gifts of Compassion, at your favourite online bookstore:

https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

Or you can find out more about my Compassionate Mind Training (CMT) here:

https://www.stansteindl.com/about-1

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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL:

https://youtu.be/quVGmCDj04s

*Affiliate Disclaimer:

Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

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Compassion, self-compassion, self-criticism, voice tone

Life isn't easy. There can be difficulties and demands that can keep us up at night! So what to do? You can try writing a compassionate letter. But sometimes people ask me, "But what do I say? What do I write?" So, in this video, I will show you five compassionate letters that I wrote to myself over the last week. They're not perfect, they're not meant to be! I'm just hoping they give you a bit of an idea of what a compassionate letter to yourself might sound like. Hope they help!

TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK:

Compassion in a T-Shirt

LINKS:

Check out my book, The Gifts of Compassion. There's a section on compassionate letter writing on page 151. https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480

Say hi on social:

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YouTube Video URL:

https://youtu.be/pqjFytM7yFw

*Affiliate Disclaimer:

Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

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compassion, self-compassion, compassion focused therapy, compassionate mind training, compassionate letter, therapeutic writing