The Curated Chapter with Sam Youmans

R.A. Scanzillo has spent a lifetime watching, listening, and taking notes. In UNSOLICITED: Short Words & Random Chapters from a Latent Boomer, she turns those observations into poems and stories about relationships, aging, faith, addiction, humor, heartbreak, and the unexpected moments that make up a life. Scanzillo calls her poems “kernels of emotional experience”—sometimes funny, sometimes dark, but always drawn from the world around her. Hear her read several poems from the book and explain how growing up in a strict religious household shaped her life as an observer, why she considers herself a “people’s poet,” and what she hopes readers recognize in her words.

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Global finance executive JP Ferrando shares the leadership lessons he learned far beyond the numbers. From trust and consistency to mentorship and lifelong learning, Ledgers & Legacy: A Leadership Journey Beyond the Numbers by JP Ferrndo is a reminder that people, not reports, are the true measure of success. 

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What if understanding Scripture is less about finding quick answers and more about asking better questions? This episode explores “Snapshots of Time and Eternity: A Three-Dimensional Christian Worldview” by Eckehart Augustiny. Drawing on decades of study, Augustiny shares how curiosity, thoughtful reflection, and a fresh perspective on familiar passages shaped his Christian worldview and inspired him to write the book.

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Discover the story behind Revelation Signs as author Alan Gattis shares why he believes God called him to write this thought-provoking book about Revelation, biblical prophecy, and the end times.

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Gattis (Wife) My wife kept telling me I needed to write a book, and I was like, ‘Me write a book? Nah.’ But eventually God had me do just that.

Sam: Some books begin with an idea. Others begin with years of research. Alan Gattis believes his book, Revelation Signs, began more than twenty-five years before he ever wrote the first page.

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Sam: Today on The Curated Chapter, we are going to look at the book Revelation Signs: Astrology Condemned and Discovering What God Says. By Alan Gattis. He says, years of studying Scripture eventually convinced him that God was preparing him to write a book about one of the Bible’s most mysterious—and often debated—books: Revelation.

Gattis (25 years) God had me write it. Over the last 25 years, he’s been giving me bits and pieces of information regarding the book of Revelation. My wife kept telling me I needed to write a book, and I was like, me write a book? Nah, but eventually God had me do just that. It took a year and a half to do it, but it’s got 25 years worth of stuff in it.

Sam: Now, Gattis has combined those twenty-five years of study into a book that he believes reveals a deeper understanding of the book of Revelation.

At the heart of Revelation Signs is Gattis’s belief that biblical prophecy, symbolism, and even the constellations point to God’s plan of salvation and offer insight into what he sees as the signs of the end times.

Gattis (End Times) Well, it’s about the fact that we are in the end times. God told Daniel to seal up the book that he was given until the end time, when many people were rushed here and there, and there would be an explosion of knowledge. That’s Daniel 12.4. And high-speed trains and ships and jets make global travel an everyday thing now. And we live in the information age. Anything you want to know, it’s at your fingertips for Google. And then Paul wrote in 2 Thessalonians about the great falling away. Some versions say the apostasy, some say the great rebellion, but we are experiencing this right now.

Sam:  According to Gattis, that wasn’t about hiding Scripture forever. He believes the book of Revelation was sealed until the time when people would be able to understand its symbolism, imagery, and prophecy more completely.

He also argues that the world described in Daniel—a time of rapid travel, unprecedented knowledge, and spiritual change—is the very world we’re living in today. And if that’s true, he believes Revelation can now be understood in ways that weren’t possible before.

That’s also what he says sets Revelation Signs apart from other books on the subject.

Gattis (Why it’s different) But there are many books that are written about the book of Revelation. But what separates this book from all the others is this is the Holy Spirit’s interpretation, not mine. I just wrote what he gave me. 2 Peter 1 verse 20 says the Holy Spirit gave the prophets all the prophecies. It requires the Holy Spirit to interpret those prophecies for us. But God had me write this book to share it with all believers in the end times.

Sam:  One of the most surprising ideas in Revelation Signs is Gattis’s invitation to reconsider the Zodiac—something many Christians have been taught to avoid altogether. But he’s not talking about astrology. He’s talking about the constellations. 

Gattis (Southern Cross) Absolutely. God put what he was going to do through Christ in the stars, in the constellations, in the night sky. A lot of people don’t know, in the Northern Hemisphere particularly, that the Southern Cross constellation exists because they can’t see it from the Northern Hemisphere. The only way you can see it is if you’re around the equator or below it. It’s kind of close to the South Pole. People use it for navigation, North Star for navigation here. Well, one of the stars in the Southern Cross constellation, they use it for navigation in the Southern Hemisphere. But most people in the Northern Hemisphere don’t even know it exists. But if you go back to the 80s, the musical group Crosby, Fields, and Nash had a hit song called the Southern Cross. They were singing about sailing the South Pacific and seeing the Southern Cross constellation in the night sky.

Sam:  This wasn’t an idea Gattis says he came up with on his own. He traces his interest in the constellations back to a sermon by the late Dr. D. James Kennedy and Kennedy’s book, The Real Meaning of the Zodiac. From there, he began reading other Christian authors who explored similar ideas.

Gattis (Blown away)  I had read the book and when I was reading Revelation 12 again, it absolutely blew my mind when the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to this. For five or ten minutes, I’m not sure how long, all I could do was walk around the house from room to room to room to room. My hair was standing up because I was so blown away.

Sam:  Gattis says that realization became a turning point in his understanding of Revelation. According to Gattis, the constellations weren’t created to predict anyone’s future. They were created to tell God’s story.

Gattis (Prophecy) They are God’s message to the world from the week of creation because he put them there in the night sky during the week of creation to prophecy about what he was going to do through his son, Jesus Christ.

Sam: Gattis argues that many Christians have misunderstood the word “Zodiac.” 

Gattis  (Zodiac) The word Zodiac is God’s word. That’s His name for the constellations. It’s what He calls them. We were taught the signs of the Zodiac were all about astrology and witchcraft, but they don’t have anything to do with what month you were born, how the stars, sun and moon influence our lives and the horoscopes they write. That’s the demonic deception and witchcraft of the astrologers. Evil can’t create anything, only God can.

Sam: Gattis says these ideas didn’t come all at once. While writing the book, he says there were times he reached passages he didn’t fully understand. Rather than relying on his own conclusions, he says he stopped and prayed for guidance

Gattis (Process) It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, what you know, what you don’t know. When God has something for you to do, he will provide you with what you need to fulfill that task. And that’s a testimony I have for that. I didn’t know everything in the book of Revelation. There were moments when I was working on it that I had to stop and ask the Holy Spirit, what does this mean? Because I didn’t have any idea. He’d given me a lot of information, but he hadn’t given me all of it. And it was so wonderful. All I had to do was ask. And he gave me the interpretations as I was writing. And that required a very close and intimate relationship with him in order to do that. And I still miss that time. And it’s not to say he’s finished with me, because he’s not. But it was an awesome time for me.

Sam:  Whether you agree with his conclusions or merely find his perspective intriguing, one of my take-a-ways is the Revelation Signs invites all of us to look at some of the familiar bible passages through a very different lens.

Over more than twenty-five years of Bible study, Alan Gattis became convinced that God was preparing him to write this book. Along the way, he developed a perspective on Revelation, biblical prophecy, and the constellations that challenges many of our traditional assumptions and because of that he encourages readers to look at the Scriptures and decide for themselves.

Gattis (Awesome) The information that the Holy Spirit gave me is not just more information. This is mind blowing information that you can’t just sit down and do it in one reading. You read bits and pieces of it and then you have to lay it down and kind of chew on it for a little while and then you can go back and pick it up.

Sam:  The full title of the book is Revelation Signs: Astrology Condemned and Discovering What God Says.

I’m Sam Youmans, and this has been The Curated Chapter from Webtalkradio.com. Thanks for listening.

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What began as one man’s search for answers became a trilogy about the journey of the human soul. Along the way, Sergiy Adamenko discovered that the story he was writing was changing him, too.

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SERGIY  – “Since my childhood, I’ve been asking for answers to questions about life, destiny, human nature, the meaning of our existence.”

SAM – Some books entertain us. Others teach us something new. And then there are books that simply invite us to stop… and think.

Author Sergiy Adamenko has spent much of his life asking some of humanity’s oldest questions. Questions about life, destiny, and the choices that shape who we become. Those questions inspired his latest novel, The Step of the Wolf.

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Part historical novel and part spiritual journey, The Step of the Wolf is the final book in a trilogy following one soul through many different lives. Every lifetime presents another challenge. Every challenge teaches another lesson. Together, those lives explore love, sacrifice, faith, destiny, and the choices that shape who we become.

SERGIY – My motivation for writing this book was deeply personal. Since my childhood, I’ve been asking for answers to questions about life, destiny, human nature, the meaning of our existence. Writing became a way for me to explore these questions, not only for myself, but also together with my readers. In the story, I wanted to travel into the past, better understand the present, and perhaps inspire people to think more carefully about the future they are creating through their choices today. So for me, Step of the Wolf is more than just a novel. It’s a meditation to reflect on who we are, where we came from, and what kind of legacy we want to leave behind.”

SAM – The trilogy is told through a series of interconnected stories. One of the first introduces a Viking warrior. During a raid, he captures a young woman as a prisoner. But instead of treating her as an enemy, he falls in love with her. When three warriors from his own tribe threaten her, he kills them to protect her.

Forced to flee, the couple builds a new life together. One day he rescues an injured she-wolf, nurses her back to health, and the wolf becomes both companion and protector. Years later, when his past finally catches up with him, the wolf stands beside him in one final battle. It’s just one chapter… one lifetime… in a story that spans nearly a thousand years.

SERGIY – The novel explores the soul’s journey toward God through a series of reincarnations. Throughout these different lives, the soul experiences existence from many perspectives. It’s about not only different human beings, but also a tree or a wolf.”

SAM – As the soul moves through different lives, familiar connections begin to appear. That leads Sergiy to ask some intriguing questions.

SERGIY- Why do we sometimes dream about places we have never visited? Why do we occasionally see the face of a complete stranger and feel an inexplicable sense of familiarity? Why do certain moments feel as though we have already lived them before? We call these experiences like déjà vu, coincidences, or simple tricks of imagination. But what if there is something more?… The Step of the Wolf doesn’t try to provide all the questions, but invites readers to explore more mysteries and draw their own conclusions.”

SAM – Those questions didn’t appear out of nowhere.

Long before Sergiy began writing this trilogy, life had already given him difficult questions of his own to answer. After his hometown in Ukraine was occupied by Russian forces, he returned to serve in a volunteer battalion. When he came back to Ireland, those experiences became the foundation for his first book, The Heroes of Modernity.

SERGIY – My own town was occupied by Russians in 2014… I started to help our army from the beginning of the war… In 2017 I decided to join… When I came back to Ireland, I decided to write about those people whom I met in trenches… The Heroes of Modernity was about the people who are still alive. We have to pay tribute to them, and we have to thank them for what they do.”

(Trim this to the cleanest portion.)

SAM – That first book honored the people Sergiy met on the battlefield.

The trilogy that followed explores a different kind of journey. Not across countries… but across centuries.

And rather than telling readers what to believe, Sergiy simply asks them to think.

SERGIY – The longer I thought the truth, the more I came to understand how multifaceted and complex the truth is. These books were never intended to teach or preach. For me, they become a journey through history, memories, dreams, and the human soul itself.”

SAM – Whether you read The Step of the Wolf as historical fiction, a spiritual journey, or simply an adventure spanning centuries, it’s ultimately a story about people… the choices they make… and the lessons they learn along the way.

Sergiy hopes readers close the book asking a few questions of their own.

SERGIY – I don’t know what answers each reader will find, but I sincerely hope that by the time they turn the final page, they will see the world a little differently than they did when they started this journey.”

SAM – If that sounds like an interesting read, the book is The Step of the Wolf by Sergiy Adamenko, available now wherever books are sold. Thank you, Sergiy, for sharing your story… and thank you for listening.

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Robert Browne – Stop and think about what you are and who you are through the decisions that you make. 

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Sam: One of the hardest things we can do is to look in the mirror and say, who are you? And then know the answer.  Today’s show is about personal growth.  Take a look at your business card or your job title, the role you play in your family, and the things others say about you and get ready to look beneath all that. 

Theme: The Curated Chapter

Sam: Knowing who you are is easy for some people but not everyone. It’ s a difficult question to answer. We spend our lives making decisions, building relationships, and pursuing goals, but we don’t always take the time to consider what those choices say about us.

Robert Browne believes that understanding ourselves is one of life’s most important journeys. He just wrote a book about it. It’s called Understanding U. The title is simple, but it carries a powerful message — before we can strengthen our relationships, grow as individuals, or live with greater purpose, we first need to understand who we are — this was his path. 

Robert – I wanted to find a place where I was at peace with what I felt about my decision to move on with my life. And at the time, I was seriously thinking about entering into another relationship, which could have ended into a marriage with a woman that, although was very attractive, I later came to discover was not the right person for me. My brother really helped me to realign my thinking with who and what I am right now, and to come to grips with myself as an individual, reset myself emotionally and mentally, and use my energies and my time in such a way so I can discover who I am through things that I would now do, such as getting out traveling. Connecting with other people, forming business partnerships in the fitness industry, nonprofit work. All of those things helped me to focus on giving instead of getting, and in the process, I really came to discover who I am as a person, a person who wants to enjoy giving back to those who gave to me through the community, through my affiliations, with my close friends, and with my business partners. They all helped me to understand better who I am as a person moving forward.

Sam: For Robert, self-discovery wasn’t simply an exercise in reflection. It changed the direction of his life. As he focused on giving back, building relationships, and contributing to his community, he found something many people spend a lifetime searching for: a deeper sense of purpose.

Robert – So once I started to really feel the joy that came from giving back and not focusing on the negative experience of having to lose out on the relationship or lose it, I gained something far better, a deeper sense of purpose and meaning with my life as an individual. And that’s what really inspired me to write the book.

Sam: Understanding U is built around the idea that the better we understand ourselves, the better equipped we are to grow as individuals and strengthen our relationships. 

Throughout the book, Robert invites readers to look beneath appearances and examine the thoughts, intentions, and values that guide their actions. Through short reflections on topics like grief, compassion, and assumptions he encourages readers to take a closer look at the person they are becoming.

Robert – The one thing I want them to take away is to understand who they are today. Stop and think about what you are and who you are through the decisions that you make. Whatever they are, however big or small they are, take the time to analyze who you are and make sure that your decisions are a true projection of the person that you are within, not based on what others perceive you to be.

Sam: In Understanding U, Robert uses everyday experiences to explore personal growth, kindness, compassion, and the choices we make every day. He believes the people we meet and the experiences we have can teach us a lot about ourselves. 

It’s a lesson he learned from his older brother George, who encouraged him to take the time to understand himself and make sure his decisions reflected who he truly was.

Robert – My oldest brother, George, who passed away, always had an expression. He used to always say growing up, oldest knows best. And when he used to say it, because we were all younger, to me, I’m like, okay, what is he talking about? He hasn’t been on earth that long. But as I’ve gotten older, and especially after he passed away in 2011, I started to see what he was talking about. And that statement was the impetus that drove me to write this book, because of what he told me about myself that helped me understand. Robert, get to really understand yourself. Make sure that anything you do is a reflection of who you really are as a person, not somebody else’s expression of you, not based on what others may perceive you to be or perceive you not to be. But make sure it’s really about who you understand yourself to be.

Sam: It may be the most important lesson in the entire book. Understanding who you are takes time. It requires reflection, patience, and a willingness to be honest with yourself. For Robert, those lessons became the foundation of Understanding U.

Robert: – Don’t rush the process. This book, in many respects, which really covers almost 20 years as a project, from 2006 until now that we’re having this interview, really suffices the point. So, I’m really happy I listened to him.

Sam: One story that especially resonated with Robert was the tale of Balto, the famous sled dog whose courage and determination helped save lives. 

Robert – He was ridiculed, he was persecuted, he was treated as an outcast because he was different. And Balto’s character really showed me the true joy that came from ignoring what people think about you or what they say about you and finding joy and satisfaction in who you are. And Balto, the movie character, he really inspired me to give because when the children in the movie were sick, he on his own accord went to save those children by getting some antitoxin medication and bringing it back to Nome, Alaska to save those children from diphtheria. So his selfless act, risking his own life and putting the responsibility on his shoulders to save a whole town, as well as the dogs who were racing with him because he had to lead them back, was really an outstanding example of courage. It really touched my heart and it’s a movie that I recommend that anybody see. It’s worth the watch.

Sam: I love that, and it wasn’t just the movie that inspired him, it was the statue. In New York’s Central Park there is a Bronze Statue of Balto that looks out over a walking path. It was done by Frederick George Richard Roth – a native of Brooklyn and here’s a fun fact that I found on Wikipedia — The Real Balto, the actual dog, was present at the unveiling ceremony back in 1925, making him the only Central Park statue subject to attend their own dedication. 

Robert says while he was inspired by Balto’s courage, self discovery is not easy. It requires you to have an open mind, to be honest with yourself when you look inward. Writing the book forced him to do exactly that.

Robert – I had so many thoughts that sometimes when you’re writing and you have all of these emotions inside you, you have to break your emotions up. You have to compartmentalize your emotions and break them down so that you can understand, OK, what’s the dominant emotion here? Is it love? Is it fear? Is it joy? Whatever is the dominant emotion. That’s what I wanted to leave. And what was the dominant emotion with me was love, love for my brother, for what he stood for, love for people. Love for myself, for who I am, coming to grips and coming to terms with who I am, and then joy followed that after the joy. Some fears, admittedly, because I wanted to make sure that I really moved people to act. I wanted to make sure that the book did exactly what I wanted to do because it moved me. But it’s another thing for it to move countless others when they lay eyes on or read the book. And that was my concern. So love, joy and fear were my three dominant emotions that govern my writings.

Sam: In the end, the journey that began with self-discovery led Robert to something even greater: peace with who he is.

The book is titled Understanding U. Just the letter U. And maybe that’s why the title works so well. At its heart, the book is about understanding ourselves, what we value, and how our choices shape the people we become.

Personal growth happens one decision at a time. One relationship at a time. One moment of reflection at a time. Robert’s invitation to all of us….

Robert Browne – Be yourself unapologetically, but respectfully.

Well said. 

I’m Sam Youmans, and this has been The Curated Chapter, from Webtalkradio. .Thank you for listening. 

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Janet Dunne spent years searching for answers to bipolar disorder and depression, finding guidance in unexpected places ranging from hospitals and therapy to spiritual teachers and self-help books. Along the way, she discovered that many of those lessons pointed to the same simple idea: acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, but don’t let them control you. In this episode, we explore her deeply personal journey and the experiences that inspired her to share it with others.

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Janet: Don’t hold on to your thoughts, don’t hold on to feelings. If it’s a bad feeling, let it go. If it’s a good feeling, let it go.

Sam: Just… let it go.

That sounds easy enough. But if you’re suffering from bipolar disorder, you might be inclined to resist that advice. Our guest today, Janet Dunne, says don’t. She the author of the book One Foot in the Right Direction: Bipolar, a Mental Health Problem and today, we’re going to learn  why letting go is so important. .

Theme: The Curated Chapter

Sam: Part memoir and part self-help guide, One Foot in the Right Direction chronicles Janet Dunne’s journey through bipolar disorder and depression. Along the way, she shares the lessons, people, and practices that helped her rebuild her life and find hope again.

Janet: I found my adult life harder than my childhood. My childhood was lovely. It wasn’t perfect, but I was a happy child. I made mistakes and held on to things, held on to memories, and I got myself into trouble basically.

Sam: Janet Dunne grew up in Dublin with a mystery at the center of her life.

When she was three years old, her father disappeared. Not in the way you might be thinking. He became an actual missing person. For years, Janet hoped and prayed that he would come home safely, but he never did.

What followed was a childhood filled with contradictions. There were difficult moments: struggles in school, anxiety, and grief. But there were also adventures with friends, afternoons spent with her grandmother, family stories, music, art, and laughter.

As Janet entered adulthood, the challenges she had carried for years began to intensify. Eventually, she found herself in Ireland’s mental health system searching for answers. What frustrated her most was the lack of explanation.

Janet: I live in Ireland and the system in Ireland when you have mental health, they don’t explain the mental health problems to you. So you’re just put on medication and you’re basically in the system that’s in Ireland because I was in the system. I didn’t have private health insurance, so I was going through the normal system that’s there for all the rest of the people.”

Sam: Janet wasn’t satisfied with simply being told what medication to take. She wanted to understand what was happening to her and why. When those answers didn’t come, she began looking elsewhere.

Janet: Right from the get-go when I came out of hospital, one of my first things to do was to run to a church and pray to God to help me because I was in a very, very weird place that I had never been before. So I was searching outside myself.”

Sam: Janet’s search for answers would eventually take her far beyond Ireland. Along the way she encountered therapists, spiritual teachers, self-help authors, and even an Aboriginal healer whose advice would become one of the central lessons of her book.

Janet: He explained to me that there was a darkness in my life and that that darkness was attacking me and not letting me have my life the way I want my life to be. 

Sam: So she asked if she could pay him for a healing session and his answer surprised her.

Janet: He said if I was to take money off you, I would lose the gift that I have. So in my head I just said quick, ask him again, ask him again, but don’t mention no money. And in the next breath then I said to him, can you do a healing for me? And I held back about money, yeah, I said nothing about money. And the healing started instantaneously and I just started crying buckets and buckets of tears. 

Sam: That was a powerful experience because she felt like she wasn’t speaking to someone interested in just making money. She was speaking to someone who genuinely believed he could help her.

Janet: And so, what he actually told me to do was when that darkness comes to pause, don’t say anything, don’t think anything and don’t do anything. And that will allow that darkness to pass by. But if I think any thoughts or say anything or move a muscle in my body, that the darkness will be able to attach. I know this sounds weird, but I did what you said and it really, really works.

Sam: And then she shared her experience with a friend who was also in need of help.

Janet: And I also had a friend who was suicidal and I explained that technique to him. And then the next time I asked him, how are you now? He said, it’s gone, it’s over. I explained about the Aborigine to him. So that was it. That was a great breakthrough.

Sam:  Just to be clear, these are Janets experiences if you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts I would call the 988 — the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  Janet says another turning point came after a family crisis led her to leave Ireland altogether.

Janet: I was 10 years in the system before I actually took sick and landed in a German hospital. And that’s a really funny story because my psychiatrist in Ireland said, the next time there’s a problem in your family, I want you out of the scenario. I don’t want you to be any part of it the next time there would be a drama. And so when a drama happened in my life, I took the plane to Germany and ended up in a German hospital. And that’s, and that was another fantastic breakthrough because their system to deal with the mental illness was completely different to the Irish system. You know, the Irish system is old fashioned. The Germans are modern, forward thinking about mental illness.

Sam: Germany didn’t cure Janet’s problems. But it did change the way she thought about them. Her experiences so far led to thinking that recovery might require more than medication.

Janet: When I came back from Germany, I said, okay, Janet, you’re going to have to do this yourself now. And I looked up cognitive therapy and I went to cognitive therapy. Then I went to yoga, a yoga retreat for spiritual healing. It was actually a kundalini yoga course and it was absolutely fantastic.

Sam: At the Yoga retreat, Janet met a teacher named Satantra who reinforced some of he earlier advice she was given.

Janet: And he said that when you think of your thoughts, he said, your thoughts are like your happiness and thoughts coming into your head. You need to be like a tree with loads of branches and you let the thought come in like a breeze going through leaves. And then you just let it pass by. And that was similar to the Aborigine man. Don’t hold on to your thoughts, don’t hold on to feelings. You know, if it’s a bad feeling, let it go. If it’s a good feeling, let it go.

Sam: Different methodology but ultimately the same message, don’t fight every thought. Don’t cling to every feeling. Acknowledge your feelings but don’t hold onto them. Just…let it go.

Janet: I’m just hoping it helps people.

Sam: Throughout her journey, Janet searched for answers in many places. In hospitals. In therapy. In spirituality. In self-help books. In conversations with people who offered unexpected wisdom. But one of the most important discoveries she made was that no one could do the work for her.

Janet: I hope that they will realize that through some of the things that I learned along the way came from within me, solving the problem.

Sam:  One Foot in the Right Direction is Janet Dunne’s attempt to share that journey with others who may be facing similar struggles. Not as a doctor or a therapist, but as someone who has walked that road herself and hopes her experiences might help someone else find their own way forward. If Janet’s story resonates with you or someone you know, the book is called One Foot in the Right Direction: Bipolar, a Mental Health Problem by Janet Dunne, (D-u-n-n-e) Its available now. 

Janet (80 Pages) It’s not a, it’s not a long read, but I hope it’s an interesting take for people. It is. And it can help so many people.

Thank you Janet for sharing your story and thank you for listening.  

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Divorce isn’t a new chapter it’s a detonation. In her book “Divorce is F*cked! A No Bull-Shit Survival Guide for Men”, Tracey McMillan draws on 30 years in family law to show what actually happens when things fall apart. This episode looks at how to stay steady, think clearly, and protect what matters when everything feels like it’s slipping because in the end, it comes down to how you navigate the system.

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Tracey McMillan: I’m Tracey McMillan the author of Divorce is Fucked: A No-Bullshit Survival Guide for Men. 

Can you tell we are in for a lively conversation today?!

Theme: The Curated Chaper

Welcome the Curated Chapter a chapter sized podcast about interesting things and people passionate enough to write a big book about them.  Today we are going to talk about Divorce. It is an ugly business, it is insanely emotional but there are ways to manage it and today you are going to learn those ways from Tracey McMillan. She has spent over thirty-years in family law and men’s advocacy. 

Tracy McMillan: In family law, you see good people at their worst.

Do you know anyone that’s been through a divorce. Statistics would say you do, although it is getting better. Right now, the divorce rate for first marriages is around 41%—down from 50%…and then, of course, the more often you get married… the higher the odds climb. 

I have never been through a Divorce myself and if you know me personally then you would consider that a miracle but that’s a chapter for another podcast. I have had a ringside seat for quite a few of them which is why I laughed out loud when I saw the title of Tracey McMillan’s book, “Divorce is F’d!”

Tracey McMillan: I named the book and I get it. It’s provocative. I’m not backwards in being provocative. I’m OK to do that.

It’s a hilarious title because it’s true. One minute you’re planning a vacation, and the next you’re Googling ‘what happens if she takes the kids? Divorce is ugly for a lot of reasons and an amicable one? That is a unicorn. Or maybe I should say undergoing a painless divorce is like finding a unicorn. Most people who have been through it can testify to how quickly the “idea of “we’re going to be mature about this” can unravel the moment lawyers get involved. 

Tracey McMillan: So when I first started out, I was the real cocky lawyer. I was very arrogant, only cared about my wins. You know, like it’d be like I didn’t want to remember my client’s names, didn’t care about the kids’ names. It was just I would tally up what my wins are. And I used to focus so heavily on what my losses were. So I used to go, I can count on one hand how many my losses are. But what actually started to happen was here I was having these like landmark decisions. I was thinking, this arrogant me, right back when I was younger, going, you should be bowing at my feet. I’ve gotten you all this great outcome. You’ve got the kids. He hasn’t got the kids. Look at me go. They’d be happy in the immediacy. But what would happen is literally a couple of days later or a week later, they’d actually still be really bitter. And with parenting orders, they were coming back. Like I ended up having clients coming back within 12 months where they’re going, they’re not following the orders. We’re going to have to go back. This needs to be changed. That needs to be changed. So it made you start to really think about why. So I was that lawyer. So I don’t know if you’ve had that experience, but if you’re treated like a number, isn’t that the most disgusting and disgraceful behavior? And the thing is, is I see that with a lot of lawyers.

She said a lot of Lawyers, not all them. There are some compassionate ones out there. In fact, she became one of them, but that moment where she realized something wasn’t working, that’s what led to this book. The full title is “Divorce is F*cked: A No-Bull-shit Survival Guide for Men”. Tracey says the title came to her honestly.

Tracy McMillan: I asked over 2000 men, I asked them two questions. First one, using unfiltered language, let’s be real. How is it? What does it feel like going through a divorce? When you’re in the system and that’s where they got divorce is f’d, and then the next question is, what is the one thing you truly wish you had if you were going through that? And that was don’t beat around the bush and pretend that the system’s good because it’s not. Let’s have no BS, get down to the real grassroots and give me a guide as to how I can navigate this. 

And that’s why she wrote the book. Through her career Tracey has seen every tactic, every trap, and every mistake men make when their world falls apart so now her approach is simple: treat divorce like the high-stakes operation it is. No panic. No illusions. Just strategy and emotional control. 

Tracey has watched so many good men lose everything; their homes, their kids, their minds and it wasn’t because they were bad dads, it was just that no one told them how the system really works. Nobody hands you a rulebook…but the rules are there. You just have to be in the right frame of mind to understand them.

Tracy McMillan: Humans require certainty. It’s one of their fundamental cravings, because certainty equals safety, which equals survival. And what happens when you’re going through the process? In a relationship, you have those certainty of the really fundamental things in life. For instance, you have love, you have a family, you have financial security, you have trust. And when one of those pillars is disrupted or taken away, and then you move into the separation, what happens is all of those things that you had, which gave you certainty in a relationship, has now been stripped of you. And so what happens is, as a human being, you actually react.

And since we are humans craving certainty, when we lose that we panic and that’s what gets us into trouble. Tracey points out that the family court system isn’t designed to comfort you. It’s designed to assess your behavior while you’re going through one of the most emotionally chaotic moments of your life. You are arriving in court with your fight-or-flight instinct fully activated. 

Tracy McMillan: When you’re in fight or flight, you can’t use complex reasoning of your brain, it actually is sort of shunted or stunned. And as a result, the only things you do is because you feel this uncertainty, you’re feeling a threat to your life, even if you don’t realize it. And so you react accordingly to try and save your life. And the thing, the threat that you’re seeing is the predator happens to be the person who took away your certainty, which is the other party. So they treat them as though they’re a predator to their survival. 

I found that part fascinating because it explains why otherwise smart people begin acting irrationally. They can’t hep it. They aren’t just arguing about property or custody, their nervous systems is telling them they are under attack. Here’s a great example.

Tracy McMillan: Some of the things they’ll do is, for instance, they’ll talk in absolutes, they’ll say things like, oh, I can’t trust her, can’t trust her at all. She’s taken my kids, I’ve got nothing, I have no future. So what this book does is show you how to stop reacting, going, oh, hey, I’m not using complex reasoning here, my nervous system’s offline.

Now let’s talk about the court system. If you find yourself in court, in front of a judge, the last place you want to be is fight-or-flight mode but that’s what usually happens with men and they need to learn how to turn all that anger into a strategy that can help them win in court.

Tracy McMillan: So all the court’s doing is they’re looking at a lens of that small window. And one of the things they will ask is, do you agree that past behaviour is predictive of future behaviour? I would say no. It could be, but that’s what the courts tend to rely upon when they go in there. And so what happens is that when they’re talking about past behaviour, they’re talking about immediate past behaviour. And they’re basically reflecting on everything that you’ve done, right or wrong, when you’re going through that separation period. And that’s when you’re in fight or flight. You’re not designed to have adrenaline going in quarters or going off the charts for long periods of time. So when you know that, what we’ve got to do is we’ve got to get you out of that fight or flight stage to be able to appropriately respond to the court’s assessment of you to say, hey, I am calm enough and I am able to proffer up my child’s best interests in a very loving and nurturing way to demonstrate that going forward into the future, I’ll be able to replicate that and actually give the child a safe and loving household.

The book is written for men but it’s not about teaching men to “beat” women in court. It’s about teaching them to master themselves. Because when you control your reactions, you control your outcomes but that is a strategy both men and women can use.

Tracy McMillan: You’re basically taught, once you’re in separation, it’s war, it’s war on its game on. And the only way to do it is to go into court and fight and whoever fights the hardest wins. And ironically, if you utilize some of the tools in my book, you’ll never get there because you’ll actually be giving each party what they want.

And that’s where Tracey’s approach starts to separate itself from the stereotype of the angry divorce lawyer. Her argument is actually the opposite. The people who usually do the worst in divorce court are the ones reacting emotionally while the people who do better learn how to communicate strategically.

Tracy McMillan: I’m literally saying to you, here are the tools. If you want to actually get a very good outcome in your matter, and I don’t believe in the win, because it’s family court. Technically you all lose. But if you actually go through all this, both parties actually get from it what they need. And then imagine if you could actually walk away with both parties going, okay, I can move forward in my life. if you’re a parent in this situation, your main responsibility should be that those children are thriving. And that requires a bit of insight and a bit of reflection. And with men, the thing is, is they don’t want the fluff in the ball. They don’t want people telling them that the systems all completely fair and, or that they’re overreacting because it’s, that’s real for them. That’s that they do feel like the amount of times I’ve had men going, I feel broken. I feel like the system has abandoned me. I feel like it’s very in favor of women and it is, but it’s not intentionally favoring women.

One of the tools she offers is surprisingly simple, better communication.

Tracy McMillan: It’s like if someone is talking in Japanese and somebody else is talking in Italian, and you’re like, well, you don’t understand me. And you go, that’s because you’re not talking the same language…you’re never going to get on the same page if you don’t understand what language you’re talking.

That is a very literal explanation but in the book she breaks this down into the various communication styles because we are all very different and our personalities influence how we communicate.

Tracy McMillan: There’s four different types of communication styles. And one is someone who seeks out safety. So, and then another one is somebody who seeks out data. And then you have another one who goes with their gut because they’re emotional. They’ll talk in terms of like, my gut says blah, or I feel blah. And then you have the ones who talk about they’re the dreamers.

They see what it will look like at the end. So they see the ideal of what will happen. And I see it all the time. Actually, I’ve seen it all the time between lawyers and clients as well. It’s quite funny, where the client will come in and men tend to be more data. So what you have to talk to them is about, right, this is the statistics. These are the odds. These are the numbers. And they’ll come in like that. But if you walk in there and turn around and say, well, I feel like that’s not fair to somebody who has data, they’re just, it’s not going to land for them. He’ll be saying, well, I don’t give a shit what you feel. Like, show me the stats. Show me the facts.

You are not broken, the system is. Your emotions are valid. But your reactions must be strategic.

Family law rewards calm, child-focused, predictable behavior not outrage. And maybe that’s why Tracey McMillan’s book, “Divorce is F’ed” resonates with so many people.

Tracy McMillan: I’ve been really ecstatic about how so many people have received it, even lawyers who have read it turn around and say, wow, this is brilliant. That’s been really wonderful.

We’ve talked a lot today about emotions, communication, and keeping your head on straight when your world feels like it’s coming apart, but the book goes much deeper than that.

Tracey McMillan gets into things like what to do in the first twenty-four hours after separation, how to protect yourself financially, custody battles, dealing with lawyers, recognizing manipulation, documenting behavior, and how not to accidentally sabotage yourself while you’re emotionally overloaded and trying to make life-changing decisions.

In other words, this isn’t really a self-help book. It’s more like a field manual for surviving one of the most chaotic experiences a person can go through.

The book is called Divorce is F*cked! A No Bull-Shit Survival Guide for Men by Tracey McMillan and if you want to learn more, Tracey’s website is DivorceIsFucked.com.

This has been The Curated Chapter. I’m Sam Youmans. Thanks for listening.

Website:  https://divorceisfucked.com.au/ 

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com.au/Divorce-cked-Bullshit-Survival-Guide-ebook/dp/B0G8D3RCDX 

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What happens when a baseball coach who says he wasn’t qualified to write a book keeps hearing the same message from God over and over again? In this episode of The Curated Chapter, Coach Lloyd Skoda shares the heartfelt story behind Connecting With God In All Things — a book about faith, purpose, calling, and discovering that if something matters to you, it matters to God.

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Coach Lloyd Skoda: I didn’t want to write a book. I wasn’t qualified to write a book, but God made it plain that I was supposed to write a book. 

Theme: The Crated Chapter. 

When God tells you to write a book, then you’d better write a book. That is just one of the lessons to be learned in this episode of The Curated Chapter. A chapter sized look at new books from independent authors like Coach Lloyd Skodawho you just heard saying he didn’t want to write a book, didn’t think he was qualified to write a book, but he did and it’s called Connecting With God In All Things. 

Coach Lloyd Skoda: The whole book is supernatural. It’s not natural.

Before we get too deep into what the book is about I want you to hear how it came into existence. 

Coach Lloyd Skoda: So I was preaching at our church on Wednesday night, and we had an elderly couple there that had been faithful. I’ve known them for years, they’re faithful to God. And I got through preaching and walked by them, and John and Linda Lancaster, and they said, Coach, you need to write a book. Now, my first thought was, I don’t want to write a book. I’m not qualified, the first thing, to write a book, and I’m not going to write a book. Well, so I was teaching school full-time then, and we were—school was going on, and the bell rang, and the kids were swapping classes. And so a young lady that I knew, she was a junior. I was teaching senior. She stuck her—there was a young man first that came—he was the first one in the room. He came in, sat down. Then a young lady stuck her head in the door. Kids were changing classes. She said, Coach, Lord tells you to write a book, you need to write a book, don’t you? I said, Emily, who are you talking to? She said, I don’t know. I just felt like I was supposed to say that. So we had class that period. The bell rang, and the young man, who was the only person in the room when she said that, he came up to me, why is it a ghost? He said, Coach. He said, I almost fell over backwards when Emily said that to you. She said—I mean, he said, God told me last week to tell you you’re supposed to write a book. So, yeah. So I had a coach who had been coaching with me 17 years. We were dear friends, and this was a kicker. He said, Coach, you want to hear a crazy story? Now, he didn’t know any of this was going on. And he said, you want to hear a crazy story? I said, well, I guess you want me to hear it. He said, there was this guy that God told him to write a book. He kept putting it off, said he didn’t want to do it. He got in a bad, a real bad accident where his leg had to be in traction. So he was bedridden. His leg was in traction. And God told him, he says, now you got time to write that book. I said, I’m on it right now.

You can tell right away that Coach Lloyd Skoda is natural born story teller. And maybe that’s part of the irony here. The man who says he wasn’t qualified to write a book ended up writing one filled with personal stories about faith, purpose, calling, and the belief that God is involved in every area of our lives.

Coach Lloyd Skoda  (It Matters) If it matters to you it matters to God.

That simple idea sits at the heart of this book. Coach Skoda believes we all have a calling and no two callings  look the same.

Coach Lloyd Skoda: Everybody has a calling, everyone. people’s lives are at different stages and they have different vocations and they have different marriages. Everything is different. God created us different. And I wanted people to kind of get a taste that God, everything that pertains to their life, God is interested in everything that pertains if it’s if it’s parents, if it’s family, if it’s sports. And I used to get my feelings hurt a lot because people didn’t understand what God called me to do. And even in the same calling, so you being a former educator, even in the same calling, people don’t understand. Like, a kindergarten teacher does not understand how I enjoy teaching older kids, and I certainly don’t understand how they enjoy teaching a kindergarten kid. So even within the same callings, it’s different.

I told you he was   story teller. If you google him you’ll find all kinds of people saying nice thing about him like great coach, amazing man, yrs later we all still tell stories of playing for him. Here’s one of those stories. 

Coach Lloyd Skoda: One of the big the popular stories in there, I asked a young lady, could I use her name? She was a cheerleader and kept score for baseball my early years of coaching. I mean, she was there my first year of coaching. And so she came to me one day. She said, coach, I believe in we’re not going to have a rained out baseball game. Now, in my mind, in my mind, I thought I could care less if we have a rained out game. But it mattered to her. And that’s kind of what if it matters to you, it matters to God. So it would rain her childhood sweetheart. Well, he gave her a fit. He said it’d be a hundred percent chance of rain. He’d say, Cindy, it’s gonna rain today. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. And boys would give her fits. Everybody. She stood by herself. But see, we go from faith to faith. OK, so then so then we play for a state championship. And it rained all around us. It rained after the game. We didn’t have no rained out game, but there’s a lot of games that’s supposed to be rained out. That was super nice. We had one game. It rained all the way around that field. It didn’t rain on that field. Wow. Oh, I saw that. So we’re playing for a state championship. And I hear this voice in the dugout, Coach Coda. And it was her. So I said, I stopped the game. I called time out when the dugout. So what is it, Cindy? She said, God told me that if we could pray, we’d win because we was kind of hopelessly behind two outs in the last inning. And we prayed and we won the game.

For Coach Skoda, stories like that aren’t really about baseball. They’re about learning to trust that faith can exist not only in churches or scripture, but in the ordinary moments of everyday life.

Coach Lloyd Skoda: What I tell people when I teach Bible or preach at church, I said, if you get every word that I say, you’re missing it. God’s got something specifically for you. So when I say he gives us all things to pertain, I’ve got so many, so many good stories in that book that pertains to life. It’s their life. You know, so I can tell a story and there’s going to be something in that story that’s going to relate to their life. It might not, it might not be anything about sports. It might be about music or something else. It might be about relationships. So that’s the neat thing. When they get through, God will speak to them about things that pertain to their life and they’ll understand that he cares. If they care about something, God cares about something. And I think that’s what everybody goes away with when they read that book.

And maybe that’s why this book connects with so many different kinds of people. Coach Skoda doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but he speaks with the kind of sincerity that reminds us our lives matter, our callings are unique, and that even ordinary moments may carry a deeper purpose than we realize.

Coach Lloyd Skoda: Everybody that’s read that book has been able to identify whether if they’re not even a believer, it talks about how to believe. I give example. We had a young, he called me and he said, he asked me, he said, are you and Elaine home? I says, yeah. He came over and I’m sitting, I’m sitting there and he says, I couldn’t read your book. And I’m thinking, Lord, what did I do wrong? He said, look at me. I kind of looked off and he said, look at me. And tears were pouring down his face. He said, that’s why I couldn’t read the book. Oh, my goodness. I’ve had men’s men. I’m talking about rugged men’s men come to me and say, coach, that book changed my life.   So if you’re not even a believer, it tells you how to become a believer. As the book goes on, the Bible says that I have not seen or heard in the heart of man things God’s got prepared for those who love him. And that’s kind of what that book is about, too. God’s got things prepared for everybody that loves him. But he says the spirit reveals all things, yea, the deep things of God. So it goes from if you’re not even a believer to if you’ve been saved 50 years and a strong believer, there’s something in that book for every single person. And there’s stories that relate to them wherever they are in that thing. 

The book is called Connecting With God In All Things by Coach Lloyd Skoda.

This has been The Curated Chapter. I’m Sam Youmans. Thanks for listening.

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Welcome to The Curated Chapter, a chapter-sized look at books and the people who write them. Today we’ve opened up the book The Resurrection of the Roman Catholic Church: A Guide to the Traditional Catholic Community by Griff Ruby. In it, Mr. Ruby explores the sweeping changes that followed Vatican II — the major Catholic council of the 1960s that reshaped how the Church interacted with the modern world, including changes to the Mass, language, liturgy, and the Church’s relationship with other faiths.

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For many Catholics, Vatican II represented renewal and modernization. For others, it marked a dramatic departure from tradition.

That tension sits at the heart of this book.

Now, I’m going to let Mr. Ruby do most of the talking today because this is an intelligent and deeply researched work. But for listeners unfamiliar with the term Vatican II — and honestly, I wasn’t fully clear on it myself before preparing for this episode — that historical context is important here.

According to Griff Ruby, authentic Catholic tradition still survives today in small but faithful communities scattered around the world — including one hidden in the hills above Spokane, Washington that changed the course of his life.

Griff Ruby: “It’s a whole massive hub of the faith up there.    And everything is the old way. Everything’s in the Latin, all the old theology, all the theology works that form the basis of what they teach. And I saw that, I’m in awe. This is incredible. Where has this been all my life? I mean, I know about the church. The church is structured a certain way. And then here’s these communities that, you know, they’re not fitting the usual, what most people think of as the structure. And yet, they clearly have more claim on it. And that was kind of the interesting dichotomy that impressed me. I wanted to know more about this.”

That curiosity formed the basis for this book. And he says it wasn’t just what he found in Spokane that fascinated him. It was why communities like this existed at all.

Why had so many Catholics spent decades searching for older forms of worship, older theology, and older traditions that they believed had largely disappeared from mainstream Catholic life after Vatican II?

And perhaps more importantly — if the Catholic Church is meant to preserve continuity across centuries — how could such dramatic changes happen in the first place?

Answering that question led him into years of research, travel, interviews, and historical study that eventually became this book.

Griff Ruby: “I wanted such a book. It didn’t exist. So then I started getting all these periodicals and publications, books, anything I could find pertaining to this subject. I also started traveling and interviewing different people and so forth. I really talked to a lot of people, learned a lot, picked up all these pieces.”

Like any project that you’re passionate about, if you throw yourself into it deeply enough it can change you.

Griff Ruby: “That changed me from someone who thought this is really neat and interesting only to something where I’m involved. I believe in what these people are doing. It is my life.”

As his research deepened, so did the conclusions he drew from it. And this is where the conversation gets a little controversial. Mr. Ruby argues that the changes that followed Vatican II were not just reforms or modernization efforts, but represented a profound break from historic Catholic continuity — a conclusion some Catholics would strongly disagree with.

Griff Ruby: “This may shock some people. I understand that. That organization that now runs from Vatican City is not legally continuous with the organization that ran from Vatican City from up until Peter took the seat in Rome back in the first century, clear until at least no earlier than the death of Pope Pius XII in 1958. So for that span, it’s totally clear what’s going on. The progression is absolutely clear, logical. Not that there can’t be some development and enfleshments of everything, but you see the original doctrine just growing stronger and clearer and so forth over the years. And then suddenly, there’s this Vatican II comes along, and it’s this huge sideways motion. We’re going sideways.”

At the center of his argument is the belief that authentic Catholic tradition has survived not within the modern mainstream Church, but within smaller traditional communities like the one he found in Spokane, Washington.

Communities that preserved the older Latin Mass, older theology, and older forms of worship.

And for Mr. Ruby, this isn’t simply about nostalgia. He believes something much larger is at stake.

Griff Ruby: “They’re not the church anymore. God protects the church. He keeps the church on the straight and narrow. As I demonstrate, in particular, the traditional community, or sometimes I describe it as movement, it has advantages and disadvantages, using that word. That’s where God has actually kept those protections in place. To me, that’s a modern-day miracle that we watch it just continuing and continuing year after year, while the folks there, the Vatican City organization and all the things they took over, they just get crazier and crazier and crazier.”

And by “crazier,” Mr. Ruby is referring to what he sees as a growing theological and moral departure from historic Catholic teaching.

Griff Ruby: “You got Pope saying, well, who am I to judge homosexuality? It’s okay if people shack up and give them the Eucharist anyway. And that was the previous guy they had. And this new guy, it’s already getting some strange things, too. 

So, I mean, it’s like, you know, I’m just trying to tell Catholics, you don’t need to put up with that.”

But for Mr. Ruby, this story is not only theological — it’s also historical. In fact, he says much of the book is history.

Griff Ruby: “First of all, there’s a lot of history that’s happened. And the thing is, most of this is history. I spend the first five chapters and some introductory materials kind of explaining the general situation, introducing the reader to the whys and wherefores of this. This is good stuff. There’s a history here that’s real important and needs to be documented.”

Ruby says the book is ultimately about preservation.

The preservation of tradition.
The preservation of continuity.
And the belief that even in periods of confusion and upheaval, authentic faith can survive with the help of small and faithful communities.

Griff Ruby: “Up until then, we were so under the radar, that’s why nobody had heard of it.”

Whether you agree with his conclusions or not, The Resurrection of the Roman Catholic Church raises questions that reach far beyond Catholicism itself.

How do institutions preserve continuity through times of rapid change?

What happens when believers feel spiritually displaced inside traditions they once trusted?

And how do communities hold onto identity when the modern world seems to be moving in another direction entirely?

For Mr. Ruby, the answers are found in the traditional Catholic movement and the communities he believes preserved something ancient through difficult times.

Griff Ruby: “There are very tough questions and I don’t think anybody’s got all the answers. We’re all struggling, we know what we need to do, even if we’re not totally sure how to explain ourselves. I think that to me is the only thing that unites the traditional Catholics until we have a real pope ready to say, here we are. This is us.”

Near the beginning of the book, Ruby references a line from Canon Francis J. Ripley’s book This is the Faith,    that may best capture both the spirit of the work and the meaning behind its title.

He writes, “[The Church] is the continuance of the work of a divine person; she will never fail simply because Christ can never fail. Her every Calvary will be followed by a fresh Resurrection.”

If you found any of this intriguing, the book is available now online: The Resurrection of the Roman Catholic Church: A Guide to the Traditional Catholic Community by Griff Ruby.

This has been The Curated Chapter with Sam Youmans. Thanks for listening.

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